Nun on the Road

Created by: Bill Dickson

Current author: Bill Dickson


Real name: Sister Mary Ellen Hatchetnose

Status: Active, solo; available for use

Notes: In the early 1500's, Sister Mary Ellen Hatchetnose was romantically involved with Martin Luther. As he became more involved with the brand-new theology of Protestantism, she (a devout Catholic) grew resentful. Finally, the day he was to nail his edict up on the church door, she told him that he had to choose between the Reformation and their relationship. History tells of his decision.

Spurned, the Nun's bitterness was so extreme that it has preserved her, alive, to the present day. She wages an unceasing vendetta against Protestants -- and such is her myopic fervor (as well as her myopic eyesight) that pretty much everybody she looks at is, to her, a Protestant.

The Nun has powerful enemies -- not only must she face superheroes, but Satan T. Lucifer Jones himself has been trying for centuries to collect her soul, and the Highway Department would love to get their hands on her. But she also has a powerful (though stupid) friend in the form of Mike Polinski, who mistook her for his mother while she mistook him for a Catholic.

Known powers: The Nun's bitterness and stern nature has, over the centuries, made her tougher than nails. She has demolished hordes of demons with her bare hands, and it appears Death herself can't even stop her. Worse, she has a black 1969 Lincoln Continental that she has been driving for so long that it has accumulated and enhanced her powers as only an enormous old car can.

This particular Lincoln Continental has proven so far to be completely invulnerable and nearly unstoppable. It tends to expand to fill all available roadspace, defeating efforts to pass it on either side. The result is traffic jams that quickly spread to nationwide proportions, and a sizeable hole through nearly anything that gets in its way. The only damage ever scored against the car is the tiny, vaguely face-shaped impression in the fender caused by Mighty Guy slamming into the car at top speed. The impact diverted the car from its course. As if this power were not enough, the Nun absent-mindedly leaves her turn signal on fairly frequently, resulting in eventual madness for many observers.

Although it is assumed that the car's powers developed from the Nun's influence, there is some reason to question this. In an alternate future known as the Wasteland, Ramrod discovered the car long after the Nun's death. Although its engine was no longer functional, the body of the car was still completely intact and invulnerable. The fact that it retained its power after the Nun's death implies that, whether or not the original source of that power was the Nun, the car can maintain it without her. The fact that it retained its power after the magical cataclysm that created the Wasteland implies that the power is neither technological nor magical in nature -- it is something entirely other.

Description: The oldest Catholic nun in the world, wearing a traditional habit and driving a very large black car. She usually looks bitter. Pretty simple, really.

Major Appearances:

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