The Sage

Created by: Bill Dickson

Current author: Available for general use -- contact Bill Dickson with questions


Nearly every culture has its legendary Wise One, the man or woman or bird or beast that holds the answers to any question anyone could think to ask. The guru sitting on the mountaintop, the noble shaman breathing understanding with the air, the owl in the mystical silverwood tree.

The Multiverse of which the world of Superguy is a part has, to its mild regret, the Sage.

It's not that the Sage is lacking in the knowledge department. On the contrary, he does, quite literally, know everything. In some cases it's intuition, in some cases it's deduction, in many cases it's his fiendishly clever understanding of random misprints in popular magazines. No, as a fount of knowledge, nobody's more accurate than the Sage.

Unfortunately, most everybody who meets him would like to punch him in the mouth.

In some cases, the reason is petty jealousy or irritation. The Xolchipalians are less than thrilled that this little man can pick up a copy of Alien Celebrities and find the answer to a technical problem that Xolchipalian science has been struggling with for a thousand years. And transcendental entities such as Gus and Lulu are just plain indignant that any corporeal being could possibly know more about anything than they do -- let alone knowing more about everything.

But even the people who don't mind that he knows so much don't really like him, because he's not a very pleasant person. He looks and talks just like Wallace Shawn in his obnoxious role in The Princess Bride, and he's not just a little smug about his knowledge. He won't tell you a damn thing until you fork over some cash -- traditionally fifteen dollars, but lately closer to twenty-five as he's working on replacing his space station. And any hint of a lack of faith in his facts, and you'll receive an unpleasantly loud reminder that, quote: "I am the Sage! I know everything!"

The Sage normally lives alone in a station that floats in deep space, sitting at the nexus of the weakest point of every altiverse in the Multiverse. He can travel to any desired altiverse at will (as can anybody in his station, by choosing the right exit). At present, he is collecting funds to rebuild his station, which was destroyed by the ancient and titanic starship Yesj when it carried a satanic horde from the SF_Story altiverse to the Superguy altiverse.

Major Appearances:

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