Five seconds in the sun


Well, now I can say I've been on TV, although not necessarily for the right reason. No, no, they haven't figured out about my evil scheme for total world domination. They have, however, been oddly fascinated by the concept of me eating pizza. Last Friday, my co-workers and I ended up seeking lunch at the local pizza joint MoMo's, which claims to have, and, in fact, provides, "pizza as big as your head". Their pizza slices are the size of an entire Pizza Barn personal pan pizza! Their full size pizzas require two surly grad students to wrestle in and out of the oven! Their calzones are like bizarre, cthonic footballs packed with pepperoni and cheese! Etc, etc.

The local NBC news crew was there, because someone's got to film those darn local interest stories, after all, and after filming the place happily for a bit, they got around to asking people if they could get a close-up of them noshing pizza. Or, rather, asking me. I don't know, maybe I just looked like I was really enjoying the pizza or something (it was really good pizza, but still). So now I can be known forever as That Guy Who Chewed On NBC.

I'll try not to let it go to my head.

In other news, I'm being tasked by those Windows commercials. You know, the ones where every few seconds urgent music plays and "check that the web server is up" appears on the screen. Now, really. I thought Windows was the reason you had to check that the web server is up all the time, not the solution. Only a PHB could really believe that installing any version of Windows improves stability for hard-core web applications. Well, you know what they say. Lies, damned lies, and Microsoft.


Gundam Wing #10

...use the force, Heero!

Treize and Une arrive at an OZ base, where Treize gives them all orders - OZ has to move some of their new Taurus mobile suits to Siberia for safety, and Une will be in charge. Zechs and Noin are not particularly enthused about the thought of being bossed around by Une, but orders are orders. Treize has a brief chat with Zechs in private about nothing in particular, and just in case we've forgotten what all is going on in the Zechs subplot, he keeps using Zechs real name, Millard Peacecraft. Snicker. He also suggests that Zechs take that darn hat off, but Zechs likes it. It's symbolic.

Une gives a lecture to the assembled OZ pilots about their plan to intercept and destroy the Gundams, who will almost certainly attempt to screw around with the the Taurus transport operation. Showing the same keen grasp of the situation as a crack-addled chihuahua, Une insists that the only reason that the Gundams haven't been destroyed yet is that OZ's forces have been careless. She does do a rather nice tactical analysis of all the Gundams strengths and weaknesses, which would almost certainly lead to an OZ victory if the Gundams weren't a bunch of god-munchkin mecha. Finally, she orders Zechs to engage the first Gundam (Heero's) in one on one combat with the Talgese. Noin protests, which just makes Une order her to join in with the headquarters group and sit this one out. Hmm. Une's getting snarky - must be jealous of the attention Treize gives to Zechs. Zechs, however, likes the idea of having a close ally in Une's staff at the headquarters, which stifles further griping from Noin. Everyone sets off.

Meanwhile, our cameos... oh, wait, these are the PROTAGONISTS. Oh, right. Anyway, Relena shows up at school to find Heero and Duo have transferred again, and covered up their tracks. Whups! That wacky Heero. But this won't deter his stalker... er, I mean... well, it's not goint to stop Relena. Nope.

Heero gets a call from Dr. J with information. The Taurus suits are adaptive, capable of learning from their encounters. He considers this a very bad thing, and orders Heero to destroy them. Duo wanders in and comments that he has a bad feeling about this one. There are two transport routes, though, one in the air and one on the ground, so he divides the responsibility and that's that.

Quatre, meanwhile, is taking his minions along this time, and tells his second in command that he's sure the other Gundams will be there.

Elsewhere, Wu Fei isn't going, because he's angsting about being unworthy. Sheesh!

Une, Noin and a veritable legion of extras settle in at OZ headquarters to organize things. Soon enough, of course, reports start coming in of the Gundams being sighted. Quatre attacks the land transport route first, which is a sodding great train. Like a goofball, however, he nearly gets run down by the thing before Duo shows up at the last minute and knocks it off the tracks. Of course, when the entire train disgorges nothing but a legion of disposable mobile suits, they realize that they got the decoy route. Whups. Heero shows up at the air route and is promptly shot down. As he's fighting on the ground, Zechs shows up in the Talgese, and lazily flies circles around Heero. Zechs is confident that he can beat Heero without even using the Talgese's full capability. Elsewhere, Trowa puts in an appearance and also starts attacking the air transport unit. Zechs and Heero drop their beam rifles and instead go at it with... beam swords? Use the force, indeed.

Zechs takes Heero to school, and beats him almost trivially, although this fight does no actual damage to either mecha. However, all the rest of the OZ forces are being cut to pieces. Une finally clues in to what she's up against, and decides to play her trump card. OZ took control of most of the Alliance military - including their orbital defense network, which she now points at the colonies. Oops. She demands the Gundams' surrender, or she'll start popping colonies. Noin protests vigorously that Treize would never allow this, and finally Une just slaps her to shut her up. Une prepares to fire when the Gundams don't immediately surrender, but at this point Dr. J shows up. Well, virtually, anyway, popping his image up on all their monitors. He gets snippy with Une for being so dastardly and evil, but agrees to surrender... HIS Gundam, anyway. On the battlefield, Heero pops the hatch on his Gundam and climbs out, murmurs "Mission accepted," and triggers the self destruct. Zechs is rather baffled by this. Quatre, in his Gundam, clutches at his chest as Heero gets hurled through the air by the self destruct charge, and we're not entirely sure why. Heero's still not dead, though, just resting. Trowa picks him up and the remaining three Gundams retreat, abandoning the wreckage of Heero's. Zechs lets them go, rather surly at this whole thing now.

Une is sort of at a loss over what to do, but seems to be of a mind to shoot anyway. She's finally stopped when Treize calls up and tells her to back off. Noin, who takes the call, looks really vicious as she relays this message - ah, nothing like a good cat fight. "Treize says you should be more graceful in the future... /Lady/ Une." Mrowl.

Next episode: Hey, wait, where are the 'next episode' blurbs? Ted Turner, you bastaaaaard!


Rant 'o the day contains no additives, preservatives or alien spores of any kind. Use only as directed. Do not expose to direct sunlight. Do not fold, spindle, multilate or remove identifying tags. Handle with care. Contains less than 3% milk fat by weight, not by volume. Certified 'Syndicate Approved'. Squeeze the lemon. Remember, kids, only users lose drugs.

THIS SPACE FOR RENT