The gentle sound of books being hurled across the room
Some light reading to entertain you today. Hey, why should I bother writing
down opinions when I can just give you some links to other people's?
It's a quite simple thing called Lowering the Guffaw Threshold, by surly Republican
Arianna Huffington, who has transcended her Republicanism to be a truly
surly individual on all fronts.
This particular article, one of many surly columns on her site, is about
the fact that no matter what line of bull we're fed, most people rarely
do the only thing that's true, proper and right - burst out laughing at
the sheer stupidity of it all. This is, I think, a rule we can all live
by. Now, it's not necessarily a good idea to burst out laughing when, for
example, your boss wonders about wether Microsoft FrontPage is a good
web-authoring tool. No, in that situation, mere biting sarcasm will
suffice. But in many situations, people pompously present lines of complete
tosh, knowing that the worst that will happen is mild cynicism or disinterest.
In fact, there seems to be quite a bit of feeling that the proper thing to do
is rationally answer said wackiness. To try and bring the offender back into
the realm of sanity.
Nonsense, I say! There should be a veritable carnival of mockery at the
blatant stupidities of our time! An atmosphere of glee and vicious delight
should pervade every moment of cheery defenestration that is vented forth
upon he who is so foolish to trespass upon the grounds of willful idiocy!
The only true solution is to push the cretin in question further and further
into sputtering outrage with racous laughter until they either transcend the
stupidity barrier into enlightenment, passing through the forest of their
own ineptitude through to the other side, or have a heart attack and die on
the spot.
But then, I'm evil. What do you want from me? I'm evil! Evil!
Of course, it's often difficult to tell the difference between well-meaning
ineptness and simple silliness. So I suppose such mockery should indeed be
reserved for the political arena (where, let's face it, a good 80 percent
of our blantant idiocy supply is cache'd). Well, except in situations of
willful, stubborn stupidity un-changable by simple discussion and comprehension.
We can but dream of a day when people can hear the words "I'm sorry, but are
you out of your fscking mind?" and understand them for the true plea for
universal brotherhood, love, and understanding that they really are.
Well? Laugh?
- The Authority #12 - It just doesn't get more epic than this before it
starts to suck. Famed whup-ass dealers _The Authority_ head off to try and
kill God. No, really. Well, if you count God to be a space-going artifact
so large that it can eclipse the sun from the orbit of Venus. The Authority's
giant whup-ass dealing spaceship, fifty miles long and thirty miles wide,
fits into one of this sucker's veins, as they gleefully go prodding about
inside it looking for something vital to detonate. The sheer over-arcing
epic wackiness of this whole thing can best be summed up by the things they
find living inside 'God'. This giant creature is so old that not only has
it been thoroughly parasitized, but the parasites have developed sentience
and a civilization advanced enough to rival Earth's. Yes, it's the
Authority versus the weird parasite thingy people in a battle to the death
inside the body of God! Weird, wild stuff.
- Disavowed #2 - What was I thinking when I bought yet another Image
series? And why does everyone who writes a telepath as a primary protagonist
have them become uber-powered by about the middle of the second episode?
Make... the hurting... stop... It's Stock Telepath-Related Plot #15, with
a side of Government Conspiracy. It's clear there are very few original
ideas left down there.
- Steampunk #1 - What was I thinking? Well, I know what I was
thinking. "Hey, steampunk. I've always been amused by that genre."
Unfortunately, it's completely incomprehensible. There's a guy with a
mechanical arm. Oh, and some people living in the sewers. And an insane
ruler person. And someone going around lopping off heads. And, uh, a
head that wanders around on its own. And... uhm. What the hell? It's
good to be original, but not when it's completely mind-boggling. You
can't just plunk random bits of tripe down in a world that looks vaguely
like Victorian England and call it 'steampunk'!
- Top Ten #7 - Yet more wacky super-powered police drama. An imprisoned
telepathic alien porn starlet who's been eating people's pituitaries tries
to manipulate the duty officer into letting her out! Meanwhile, our heroes
investigate the murder of Baldur at the 'Godz' bar, only to be stymied by
the fact that, well, everyone in there is a god, a living myth. Includes
a surly cop yelling "Look, you end the universe and I'm running you BOTH in!"
as Loki prods Woden towards declaring Ragnarok. Can't beat it with a stick.
- Avengers #27 - Mmm. Avengers.
- Deadpool #39 - Well, Deadpool is a villain, after all, even if a
somewhat reformed one. But he goes back to his roots upon meeting his
new house-mates, Titania and the Constrictor, refusing to believe that
they aren't out to get him, despite their protests to the contrary, until
he's beaten the snot out of both of them. Which, of course, makes them
really decide to get him. Eventually. It's "Three's Company"
involving supervillains! With Titania beating up everyone who mistakes
her for one of the other strong, beefy super-women, Thundra; Deadpool
ragging on the Constrictor, and the Constrictor whining his way through
the whole issue. ("I demand more respect! I pay half the rent, you know!
It's not fair!" "Of course it's not fair. We're villains -- it's what we
do.")
- Iron Man #27 - So, Metal Tights Lad here was just hallucinating the
whole bit about having his secret identity revealed. More hallucination
follows. What a goombah. Eventually, though, he wakes up, to discover...
a horrible plot point! Yes, it's a major plot point whose genesis involves
Tony "Genius Boy" Stark not remembering to make his armor Y2K compliant...
which was the point at which the soft, fluttering sound of a comic book
being gently hurled through the air resounded through my apartment, ending
with a fulfilling thwack as it struck the far wall.
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