Wrapped in festive red paper, it mocked me.
But who could have left it? The fiendish and clever Potato Chip Liberation Front? Or could it have been... them? Could it really have been possible for a Secret Santa ring to operate right under my nose? Or was one of my co-workers being fiendish again?
Cautiously, I examined the thin package. No, too light for the traditional Christmas bomb. Too light for much of anything, really. Perhaps it was money dosed in anthrax spores. Taking a deep breath, I cautiously opened the package and poked around. No, not money. The wrapping paper was un-familiar, too. Hmm. Who could it be? Who would send me... send me...
Flingers(tm)! The flingable, sticky soft rubber insects! Four to a pack, they spread joy and amusement where-ever they might land! Clearly, someone was thinking of me when they got me the roach set. Ah, the delicious evil I can wreak with these mini minions of mightiness is beyond measure! I shall begin launching them at my co-workers forthwith. There's nothing like having a life-like roach with a built-in slingshot come tumbling out of the sky into your coffee to spread Christmas cheer and the spirit of the holidays. And, on the off chance that they don't land in someone's coffee, they /stick/.
What glorious evil! I should have thought of this myself.
In other news of glorious evil, MTV has selected six mindless servants of pop culture to be imprisoned within a bunker so that they can rejuvinate the human race if we're all accidentally wiped out. Now you can Watch as they laugh, play cards, get extremely embarassed when the world fails to end, and eventually wither away and die when they discover that some fiend has welded shut the bunker door.
In other news, this will be the last journal for a bit, not because I'm tired of journalling, but because I'll be gone for the Holidays. Try not to hurt yourselves wailing and gnashing your teeth and all that over my absence.
Next episode: Muffins for christmas.
Rant 'o the day contains no additives, preservatives or alien spores of any kind. Use only as directed. Do not expose to direct sunlight. Do not fold, spindle, multilate or remove identifying tags. Handle with care. Contains less than 3% milk fat by weight, not by volume. Certified 'Syndicate Approved'. Squeeze the lemon. Remember, kids, only users lose drugs.
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