Anyway, in other news...
"Blame Canada?" Those wacky Canadians seem to be about mid-way through enacting meaningful legislation to protect people's privacy. Although it's still possible that something could scuttle or amend the law to death, this move leaves, well, us Merkins as the last western industrial nation to have no privacy protection laws whatsoever. In a related story, nine out of ten Americans, when asked about this, replied "Huh?"
"NRA Saves America From Stupid Committee?" Heh, heh. Remember that proposal in congress to examine the effects of pop culture on youth violence? Well, it sort of choked to death when the Democrats insisted that any committee on youth violence should also examine, well, things like guns. Which was followed by the horrible sound of Republican Congressthings scuttling desperately away from it like a giant horde of startled roaches. After all, can't go dissing the NRA. Well, so much for that. America is safe, once more. We can even hear Al Gore in the corner intoning "Flawless victory".
"Emergency Backup Rome?" Meanwhile, those wacky Russians are engaging in a campaign of imperial conquest in Chechnya. Their army commanders (motto: "Invasion? What invasion? Um, we're just peacekeepers. Really.") are apparently at the very gates of the Chechen capitol, Grozny, and are cheerfully introducing anything that moves to the wonders of artillery and airstrikes. And, unlike certain other countries, they aren't at all concerned about sending infantry in afterwards to actually hold onto the territory. So, the Russians have apparently learned from their earlier mistakes in Chechnya, in which they got their butts handed to them and lost control of the region, and have returned for revenge. And who isn't learning their lesson? Well, all of us. Let's see. Demoralized, humiliated and economically prostrate nation with a beefy military tradition and faltering leadership suddenly gets new leaders who understand that nothing cheers up the proletariat like kicking the crap out of an ancient enemy or two. Well, damn, this is a completely new situation. We've never encountered anything like thi... er, hang on, I've got to go turn off the stereo. It's gotten to "Springtime for Hitler" again. Ahem. Anyway, the real tragedy in this is that now we'll be doomed to years of smug history teachers reminding us that those who don't remember history are doomed to let surly Europeans repeat it.
"Boom, boom. Out go the lights." The recently televised assault by terrorists upon the Armenian government, in which their prime minister was gunned down, earned startlingly low ratings on Armenian television, barely beating out re-runs of _Star Trek: Voyager_. "Well, the violence was so clearly fake," remarked one Armenian youth. "And there were no ninjas. How can you have a gory movie without ninjas? And I don't understand who's supposed to be the hero in this movie. There's no attempt at a coherent plot-line at all!" Nine out of ten Americans, when asked about these events, remarked, "Armenia? Where the hell is that? Isn't it a town in Wisconsin? I've got family in Wisconsin, you know..."
A very, very slowly vanishing planet.
Goku and Frieza fight, while the planet continues disintigrating under them. Really, they seem about equal, and Frieza remarks with amusement that he thinks the 'Super Saiyan' legend is rather over-rated. Despite the fact that they have energy blast attacks, Goku and Frieza continue pummeling each other in hand to hand, often moving so fast they can't be tracked, which obviously saves the animators a great deal of work, as they only have to draw the sonic booms from the pair's blows.
Meanwhile, back on Earth, Guru explains in response to questions that Goku remained behind, that no, he can't tell what's going on, and that Namek is going to be destroyed, and no, he can't do anything about it, so stop asking him you little punks. Bulma, Gohan and Piccolo angst a bit about Goku remaining behind. Piccolo really angsts, as he wanted to fight alongside Goku. This episode's padding, I mean filler, er, I mean... oh, you know what I mean, is Piccolo reminiscing about his past with Goku. Piccolo's father, Piccolo Daimaio ('Piccolo the Demon King' or some sort) was Kami's evil side, and was killed by Goku as a kid after he (Piccolo) successfully conquered the world. Piccolo, however, spat out an egg, as Nameks tend to do, creating his son, also named Piccolo. Piccolo and Goku were enemies for years, as evidenced by all the old footage we see of the pair fighting, but eventually they joined forces against Raditz, Goku's brother, when Raditz came to whup up on Earth. Goku sacrificed himself to give Piccolo a chance to whallop Raditz with an energy attack and kill him, and that changed Piccolo's attitude towards Goku. Thus, Piccolo began to reform from his previous, evil sort of self.
Speaking of evil, Vegeta shows himself at this point, and laughs at them all, which really pisses off Gohan, who is still angsting over his father's being about to die. Vegeta, however, explains that Goku is, after all, a Saiyan, and simply can't walk away from a fight he can win. It's not his nature. Vegeta ALSO points out (after a brief break for Bulma to notice the Ginyu-Frog got teleported with them, and kick the critter into orbit) that since he came back from the dead, he's now even MORE powerful, and with Goku and Frieza about to die, that will leave him the most powerful fighter in the entire universe. He then continues cheerfully explaining his plans, saying he can now get the Earth Dragonballs and become immortal, until Piccolo stops him by noting the Earth Dragonballs were used to wish them all back from the dead, and so can't be used again (at least, not immediately, which Piccolo is smart enough not to add). This shuts Vegeta up, which is no mean feat.
Meanwhile, Goku and Frieza continue whomping on each other, a battle that culminates in Frieza hurling a gigantic energy blast at Goku, which the Saiyan only barely deflects, sending it whipping up out of the atmosphere and smacking into another of the planets in the Namek system, causing it to be instantly destroyed. Egads.
In amongst this, we get various cuts to Kami, King Kai, the Three Dead Guys, et cetera, as they comment about the fight. But then, we sort of expected that, right?
Next episode: We're down to the last minute? Right? Please?
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