So, as earlier reported, both my sister and myself both ended up getting iMacs, my sister because my parents want her to be able to make use of the direct connection in her dorm (why didn't they have those when I was in college? I was born too early...) so that she can email them with regularity and alacrity. And me because now they have something they can hold over me whenever they need things done. In a metaphorical, not literal sense. Although menacing someone with an iMac held high like some bizarre, blueberry-colored hunk of plastic (which is, of course, pretty much what they are) would probably be pretty effective. Still, a thousand bucks is worth occasionally having to go mind the cat and keep her from eating the drapes.
Uh. Where was my train of thought. Oh! Right. Anyway, my sister, of course, had a computer prior to the iMac, with a shiny clean SCSI Zip drive, and a perky little Epson printer. Unfortunately, neither of these devices will work with the iMac unaided, due to the wonders of the Universal Serial Bus. In an attempt to fix this, mother went to get a connector for the Zip drive, only to be given one that I've never seen before. It had twice as many pins as it ought to, and was generally an odd little thing. Anyway, to spare her having to purchase any more random and non-functional components, I went along as a consultant, of sorts, when she went to return the thing, figuring that my vast knowledge would facilitate and speed the process.
Ha.
Well, I got in okay, and explained that I needed a 25-pin SCSI to USB connector, plus a Serial to USB connector for the printer. This was greeted by a blank, confused stare from the salesperson I had cornered. He vanished into the back room to look, despite the fact that there was a cabinet full of X-to-USB connectors right beside him. Mother, meanwhile, appeared and began explaining to another salesperson (who was pried away from using an iBook to play chess) that she needed to exchange something. Oh, yes, this was an 'Apple store' all right, on campus no less, with lots of appley goodness all around, everything Apple, even a boxed graphite G4 + apple studio display sitting there, begging me to purchase its mightiness. Steadfast, I refused.
My deliberation was interrupted by Salesguy #1 returning with yet another 50-pin SCSI to USB connector. I began to see that this would, in fact, take a while. This was the store, after all, with the guy who had 'Wizard' on the back of his shirt, just in case he forgot he was one. "No, no," I attempted to explain to Salesguy #1. "25 pin. This one has 50." Salesguy #1, panicked, handed me off to Salesguy #2, who, at last, understood, and produced a 25-pin SCSI to USB connector. Except that, through some feat of insanity, this thing was a 'female' 25-pin SCSI connector (for those of you whose eyes just crossed, connectors are termed 'male' and 'female' depending on wether they have, er, pins or holes. This passes for humor in the computer world). "Is this what you want?" Salesguy #2 wondered, helpfully. "No," I said, and, upon realizing I needed to explain why I didn't want to buy it, followed with, "Well, er, we sort of need one with the pins pointing out." After all, this is a Republican state, and you can't connect two female ends together here.
Sitting back while my mother and Salesguy #2 attempted a complex dance of discovering the fact that, no, it really wouldn't work to connect the Zip drive, I passed the time looking at displays until, in a fit of sadism, I once more cornered Salesguy #1 and asked about a Serial to USB connector. This time, he looked in the cabinet, briefly fondled a package that said, on the front, 'Serial to USB', before snapping back into the routine he had been trained for, namely, a customer comes in and explains their problem, and he attempts to find a part to fix it. "So," he began, "You need to connect a printer?"
"Yes," I replied, with the patience of someone who's got nothing better to do at the moment anyway, as Salesguy #2 is still fondling cables as he discovers deep mysteries of equipment connectors. "A serial printer. With the little cables. No, not that one," I pointed out quickly, as he briefly flirted with a 'Parallel to USB' connector. Clearly, this was, in fact, a Wintel hardware guy. Printers use BIG connectors, right? Not little ones.
Thankfully, the day is saved by Salesguy #2, who relieves his beleaguered companion, and, in fact, understands that when someone clearly wants a 'Serial to USB' connector, this is, in fact, what they want. Even still, he had to go through a brief dance of checking wether, in fact, this was really what we wanted, which even managed to confuse me. In the end, we ended up at last getting the mighty Serial to USB connector, as well as caving in for a new USB Zip drive, which was only moderately more expensive than the SCSI to USB converter.
Time it should have taken: About 5 minutes. Time it actually took: Somewhere between twenty minutes and a half hour.
Being a Mac person can be such a pain.
Time keeps on ticking, ticking.
Frieza remarks that the planet is rather tough, and will probably last another two minutes. Hum. They keep moving the clock up... He also goes into another wacky rant. "You Saiyans are like a virus! And now the virus has mutated to protect itself! But I know how to wipe you out permanently!" Yeeeeah. Ooooookay.
Meanwhile, King Kaiou calls up Guru and explains the wish - to bring everyone but Frieza back to Earth. Goku, however, breaks into their telepathic conversation (!) and tells them to change the wish; he wants to stay and fight Frieza. King Kaiou initially refuses, saying that he can't allow Goku to be killed like that. But Goku goes off on a Star Wars-esque tangent "Stop doing what YOU want! This is the right choice; search your feelings, you know it's the truth!" Uh... yeah. Okay. King Kaiou eventually caves, and Guru relays the modified wish to Dende the Mini-Namek (who has been restored as well). Dende zips off towards Purunga, the Eternal Dragon of Namek, who's sitting around waiting for someone to make the last wish.
Meanwhile, Bulma sits around griping about how it sucks to be unselfish as she waits for Gohan. Finally, however, she's had enough, and starts firing up the engines in preparation to leave. Still, she's torn about actually just up and leaving Gohan.
Vegeta, meanwhile, is discovering he's truly alive, restored, et cetera, although testing this by punching yourself in the gut is not the smartest method. Spotting the Dragon, he begins to understand what's happened, and tears off towards the giant glowing creature.
Frieza wonders why Goku's laughing, since either way the fight goes, Goku will die, either by Frieza's hands or in the destruction of the planet. Until Goku smirks and reveals that everything is going according to his plan. Frieza wonders what kind of crack the Super-Saiyan is smoking, until he, too, notices the Dragon, and is clicks. However, he also realizes there's still time to make his wish, and tears off towards the Dragon. Goku oopses, and follows, scuffling with Frieza to try and slow him down.
Dende arrives at Purunga, asks if he can make a wish, and then promptly forgets what it was. D'oh! No, wait, he remembers.
Unfortunately, Frieza breaks past Goku then, zips up to the Dragon, and wishes for immortality! Dende quickly makes his own wish in Namekian (and, more importantly, in the form of a question! Er, no, wait.), and the Dragon grants it. Frieza blinks and snarls in rage, lashing out at Dende, who's teleported away a moment before the blast hits. People all over Namek begin to blink out as they're teleported away. Vegeta zips up in the meantime, and he and Goku chat a bit, Vegeta congratulating Goku on becoming a Super-Saiyan, and Goku remarking that it's a good thing he didn't bury Vegeta too deeply. Frieza wonders how Vegeta can be alive again, and Vegeta laughs, saying "Can a ghost do THIS?!" as he powers up a blast, only to be... teleported away at the last second! D'oh! Poor Vegeta, nothing EVER works out right for him. Well, except the coming back to life bit.
Frieza and Goku are alone now on Namek, as the Dragon vanishes, his duty complete. Goku mocks Frieza, taunting the villain with how close he was to actually getting his wish, as well as stating that now that everyone is safe, he can REALLY pop open a big can of whup-ass. Frieza wonders why Goku would hold back, and the response is that Goku believes that despite his vast power, he's no more deserving than anyone else. A regular Superman.
Back on Earth, Bulma and Gohan and all the Nameks wander around in a peaceful wooded type place, looking baffled. Dende heals Piccolo, who vacillates between looking pleased at seeing Gohan and looking surly that he's left out of the fight against Frieza. Guru explains the whole thing to everyone, while Gohan looks depressed that Krillan hasn't returned to life (Krillan had already been brought back to life once, and the Dragon of Earth can only restore people back to life... once! Whups!). Vegeta, meanwhile, wanders around apart from the rest, the peaceful natural setting seeming to really piss him off as he's not only been cheated of his revenge, but dumped on the set of a Disney movie.
Next time: More whup-ass! More comments about how little time remains! We take bets on wether Vegeta will torment small, woodland creatures for fun!
Rant 'o the day contains no additives, preservatives or alien spores of any kind. Use only as directed. Do not expose to direct sunlight. Do not fold, spindle, multilate or remove identifying tags. Handle with care. Contains less than 3% milk fat by weight, not by volume. Certified 'Syndicate Approved'. Squeeze the lemon. Remember, kids, only users lose drugs.
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