Gesundheit


How am I, you ask? Well, I'm feeling under the weather. And a particularly surly bit of weather it is. The one I'm under, I mean. Say it with me now - gahzeeeeeebo. A giant, gazebo shaped chunk o' weather is weighing heavily upon me. In other words, I'm ill. And not the pop-culture-defined good meaning of ill, either. No, I'm sick. Seeck. Pulsating with sickness. Seems to be the time of year for it, I guess. I am, however, not sick enough to take a day off from work, so I can occupy myself with such low-brain tasks as writing this journal, which pulsates with journally goodness.

First off, I've gotten an iMac, which pulsates with iMacly goodness, and am learning to love its speedy, apply way, and loathe that crack-inspired little puck of a mouse that it comes with. I see a trackball in my future, yes...

Mmm. Blueberry.

Well, okay, so I didn't personally purchase the iMac in question, my parents did, perhaps out of embarassment that they got one for my sister, thus giving her a machine more than eleven times as fast as mine. So, now in exchange for getting one of my own, I got to explain wonderful concepts like why all the stuff my sister owned for her old computer won't work with the new, USB-centric iMac unless you buy converters for it. Ah, upgrade-a-rama.

In today's wacky news, we've got lots of computer related nuggets of goodness. In the latest knee-jerk reaction to Columbine, helpful scum from a profiteering software company are selling a product that will apparently help administrators at schools profile potential problem students, as well as back this up with cross-linked psychobabble. Now we can persecute false positives like never before, all while simultaneously refusing to deal with the root causes of the problem and provide school administrators with a computer program to hide behind, turning them into little more than the typical drone, burbling "But the program said..." in response to any and all queries.

Also filed under "Majority, Tyranny of", the House Armed Services Committee openly debated actually banning sale of all encryption products without a built in law-enforcement back door. All agreed, however, that this was merely something they'd like, not something they thought they could actually get away with. Now, where's another distracting scandal when you need one...

However, real progress was made in the area of protecting the American people from the one true menace, the one thing which, at all costs, they must be guarded against. I refer, of course, not to violence, drugs or communists, but to "crush videos", which feature women in spiked shoes abusing small animals. File this one under "I swear I'm not making this up". After all, it was in Wired News, that pinnacle of well-researched newsly goodness. Delightfully, the law (which passed the House) is wonderfully vague, thus it could, conceivably, cover such things as National Geographic articles on small animal poachers or West Virginian squirrel hunters or, in fact, this journal discussing such thi-- oh, bugger.

Filed under "cheeky monkeys" is a validification of the Register article that mentions if you search for "worst software ever" on the Google search engine, the first thing on the list is, completely unsurprisingly, the Microsoft homepage! For shame!

Tune in tomorrow for more wacky hijinks.


Dragonball Z:

Oookay. So, Gohan and Bulma reach the ship, which is slowly sinking into the earth due to the fact that the planet is sort of coming apart. Bulma notices Piccolo (who she doesn't really recall ever having done anything good. Someone needs to get her the scripts for the last season or two...) lying there and gripes until Gohan glares at her.

Meanwhile, Frieza stares down Goku, wondering why the Saiyan hasn't attacked yet. After all, if the planet blows up, Goku's the doomed one. Through this, we get lots of wonderful dialog that sounds like it was taken from Mojo Jojo, as Frieza rants, "You fool! It is I who is more powerful! And I shall be victorious! I! Not you!" They scuffle some, but seem about even now.

Meanwhile, in the Next Dimension, King Kaiou gets a call from Kami that all the Dragonballs have been discovered. However, King Kaiou, being the tricky little fellow he is, has been putting some thought into the wish he wants to make. Since the Earth dragon (being less surly than the Namek dragon) can bring back to life multiple people, if they were killed in the same circumstances, he wants to wish back everyone who was killed by Frieza, either directly or indirectly, during the last year. This, goes his reasoning, will also bring back Guru, since what caused the old Namek to kick the bucket was his despair over having brought such a fate upon his people by makig the Dragonballs in the first place. Then, when Guru returns, so will the Namek dragonballs, and then they'll have ANOTHER Wish, since there was one left over from last time. THIS Wish, they can use to bring everyone from Namek back to Earth, leaving Frieza to get blown up with the planet. King Kaiou apparently doesn't believe that Goku actually has things under control...

Meanwhile, Bulma wants to get the heck out of dodge, but Gohan wants to wait for Goku. The big, pleading, wobbly anime eyes that Gohan puts on succeed in convincing Bulma to wait around a bit.

Meanwhile, back at the fight, Goku wonders why Gohan hasn't left yet; obviously, the reason he's holding back is to wait for his son to get out of range of the whup-ass he'll have to unleash. Oooops.

Meanwhile, back on Earth, Kami's henchguy has succeeded in summoning the Eternal Dragon of Earth, and relays the wish. The tortured reasoning behind it flummoxes the Dragon, who isn't at all sure this will actually work, but he'll try (being a cooperative sort).

Next episode: Isn't that five minutes up YET??


Rant 'o the day contains no additives, preservatives or alien spores of any kind. Use only as directed. Do not expose to direct sunlight. Do not fold, spindle, multilate or remove identifying tags. Handle with care. Contains less than 3% milk fat by weight, not by volume. Certified 'Syndicate Approved'. Squeeze the lemon. Remember, kids, only users lose drugs.

THIS SPACE FOR RENT