Oh, what a feeling. To be dancing on the ceiling.
Anyway, in amusing news today (continuing our desperate quest to avoid having to put any actual content in here), we've got wackiness from around the world.
Firstly, the Russians may or may not have bombed the capital of Chechnya. They seem to be extremely confused about it. Oh, certainly, a chunk of the city blew up, so something had to be responsible. And it may, or may not, be the Russians. Despite the fact that they've got artillery sitting around within range of the city, they protest their innocence in the explosion, except for the ones who didn't get the message that they aren't responsible. Those wacky Russians! What will they get up to next?
In other news, Taiwan continues its slide into the ocean. Really, at this point, it makes headlines if a day goes by and there's not a 5-7 point earthquake somewhere on the little island. It makes you wonder what people were smoking when they came up with the idea of putting so much of our chip manufacturing capability there. I mean, just look at America. We put the core of our computer-related businesses in nice, safe places like Silicon Vall... Er, nevermind.
In other news, Europeans have discovered the true meaning of the phrase "better late than never" by tracking down escaped Nazi collaborator Papon somewhere in Switzerland. Justice was spoiled only by the fact that the minion of evil is really old and likely to keel over at any moment anyway. Oh, well. Maybe they can just dance on his grave or something. I knew the wheels of justice turn slowly, but fifty years? Zounds.
In other news of judicial wackiness, a local judge in Florida is hell-bent on sticking it to a couple of FSU football players who weaselled a discount at a local store from a minon working in the checkout line. Or something. It all sounds amazingly petty, but the learned judge is determined to make an example of the pair and... hey, wait a second. Whatever happened to the 'Rule of Law' that states that laws are supposed to be applied equally to all? I can almost feel a glorious refrain of 'Springtime for Hitler' coming on right now. It's the little things that do it, I tell ya. On the other hand, they're only football players. It's not like this kind of attitude ever effects the rest of us, right?
And, finally, Columbia is having secret meetings with their rebels in the neutral city of Havana, causing us to all wonder, just how bloody secret can these meetings be if CNN.com is writing about them? Perhaps this is some strange, new definition of the word 'secret' of which we were not previously aware.
The answer to "how many episodes can you drag five minutes out over?" is apparently going to be "a whole lot". Aaiiieee.
We open with Goku beating the snot out of Frieza, which is a good thing, until Frieza rallies a bit and smacks Goku down with an energy blast. Goku gets right up again, of course, but Frieza reveals that he's used the brief break in the action to gather more of his power. Frieza taunts Goku, who decides to wait around a bit, even though he thinks things like "I can feel his desperation, his fear that I'll attack before he's reached his full power." Well, yes. So attack, you moron!
Meanwhile, Gohan searches for Bulma.
Goku sits around watching Frieza power up for a bit, while the sheer force of all this concentrated power levels yet more of the already disintigrating planet.
King Kaiou, during this, calls Goku up with his telepathy, and pesters the Super-Saiyan with bad jokes until he responds. King Kaiou, naturally, wonders what Goku's up to. Goku replies that he wants Frieza to reach his full power so that there'll be no doubt who the winner is; as the embodiment of the warrior Saiyan race, he just can't resist a worthy challenge. King Kaiou, in response, questions Goku's sanity.
The landscape continues to disintigrate from out from under Bulma, who yells and screams and is generally pissed off, until Gohan swoops in and saves her. She alternates between berating him for waiting until the last minute, and glee that they're finally leaving. Meanwhile, the ground begins to collapse out from under the space-ship...
Back on Earth, they've lost the signal to the space-ship. Everyone becomes perturbed by this.
Frieza, at last, reaches the true pinnacle of his power, and proceeds to beat the snot out of Goku. The two spend the rest of the episode scuffling with each other, moving at such speeds that even King Kaiou remarks, with shock, that he can't track them. Frieza clearly has more experience at such power, though, and shamelessly whomps on Goku. The Saiyan, however, is beginning to rally by the end of the episode.
Okay... so... elapsed time in the show: about two minutes. Time for us: an entire half-hour episode. I sense deep hurting. Deeeeeeep hurrrrrrting.
Rant 'o the day contains no additives, preservatives or alien spores of any kind. Use only as directed. Do not expose to direct sunlight. Do not fold, spindle, multilate or remove identifying tags. Handle with care. Contains less than 3% milk fat by weight, not by volume. Certified 'Syndicate Approved'. Squeeze the lemon. Remember, kids, only users lose drugs.
THIS SPACE FOR RENT