Ouch!


Today's wonderful world of wacky government includes the following little nuggets of glory. Firstly, it's Red Light Running Week... no, no, not for YOU. It doesn't mean you're supposed to run red lights, it means the cops are going to be extra surly about people who are running them, instead of being out dealing with those evil people who drive two miles over the speed limit. You know, they really ought to have called it something like Stop Running Red Lights, Dammit Week. But, hey, you can't blame them for trying.

Another wonderful little thing our government has gifted us with... well, by that I mean the Florida State Government... is a bill regulating those scum, those vermin, those body-piercers. Yes, the evil body-piercers will quail in fear at these new regulations, which now involve such things as requiring instruments of piercing to be sterile. Yes, no longer can they jam sharp bits of metal through your raw, gooey flesh with only a dip in a rancid bottle of scotch to disinfect them. And licensing! Ye gods, the poor torturers of human skin must now be licensed! What's the world coming to?

On the amusing side, the new laws also require notarized (notarized, for crying out loud) parental permission forms for people under the age of eighteen and over the age of sixteen who want to get any part of themselves pierced. Yes, no longer will the youth of Florida be free to get gleaming steel rods embedded in uncomfortable places without first asking their parents about it. Unless that uncomfortable place is their ears, in which case it's just dandy. That pretty much says it all, doesn't it. This couldn't be coming about because the state legislature and the governor are currently republican, right? I mean, this doesn't reek of creeping conservatism or anything...

For the youth younger than sixteen, any piercing at all will require the presence of their parents. The law does not, however, state wether the parents will be forced to watch. Well, now we can rest assured that our youth will not be able to individualize themselves the way cows do, with nose rings.

And besides, they're only children. They can't vote, what do they matter?

Clearly, we all know what will happen now. Back alley, black market piercing! Shady fellows in trenchcoats that jangle with hidden implements, stalking our poor, innocent youth and offering them discounts on nipple piercings! Cats and dogs living together! A rain of fish from the heavens! Mass anarchy and chaos! Et cetera!

On the Internet Censorship(tm, pat pend) front, we have the new content ratings system being hammered out in Germany. Yes, now you, too, will be forced to rate your pages in terms of violence, profanity, and uses of the word 'nipple'. Oh, wait, did I say 'forced'? After all, it's been bandied around by the people proposing the global ratings system (and make no mistake, this is a GLOBAL initiative) that nobody will be forced to comply, after all, it's only voluntary... um, nobody pay attention to the fact that Australia is drafting legislation to criminalize failure to rate a site, even accidentally. Nothing to see here. Move along. And we all know the US and UK would never model their own legislation after something the Australians had put together and implemented. Nope, never. Why, their governments are bastions of freedom and protection for the common man.

At least, that's what we'll say when we're called up to answer at the House Un-American... er, I mean, Cultural Pollution Commission.

McCarthy ain't dead. He's just resting. Beautiful plumage, that McCarthy.


Dragonball Z: Another Transformation?

We open with Frieza continuing to whomp on Piccolo, as Gohan zooms in from behind. Frieza stops whomping on Piccolo long enough to turn and snicker at Gohan, only to be surprised, again, as Gohan cuts loose with an enormous energy blast. Frieza is too prideful to dodge, and merely takes it. Gohan continues firing. This goes on for several minutes, as Gohan pours it on and Frieza is gradually forced down, and everyone else stands there staring in shock. Finally, Frieza rallies, just as the blast was about to force him into the ground, and hurls it back at Gohan, who is too stunned to get out of the way. Piccolo, however, comes to the rescue, hurling an energy bolt that shatters the big ball of energy before it can reach Gohan.

Vegeta tries to convince Krillan to cut loose on him, so that his power will increase. Krillan just snorts, remarking that if Gohan can do that, what do they need Vegeta for? Vegeta points out that sure, it was cool, but Gohan spent all his energy doing it. Sure enough, Gohan is pretty much drained. Frieza, meanwhile, ignores the beaten Piccolo and drained Gohan, to glower up at Krillan and Vegeta (who remarks "No! I'm not READY yet!"). However, they're saved from death by Frieza's decision to call up ALL his power so that he can be certain of wiping his opponents out completely (Frieza is a bit unsure about a few things, since he's certain he wiped out all the Saiyans save for Vegeta, Napa (Vegeta's henchman) and Raditz (a Saiyan who showed up way early in the series), and has no idea where the heck Gohan came from). Frieza begins his final transformation.

Realizing that there's still time, Vegeta browbeats Krillan (who was spending a moment visualizing the evil, drooling, spiky thing he expects Frieza to become) into attacking, although Krillan, though he hates Vegeta, is still somewhat unwilling. Finally, Vegeta hauls back and prepares to beat the snot out of Krillan for frustrating him, whereupon Krillan impales the Saiyan warrior on an energy bolt. Vegeta decides to drift down and have a bit of a rest, while Gohan and Piccolo yell at Krillan for blasting an ally. Gohan carries Piccolo down nearby to seek out Dende.

Meanwhile, Goku is STILL HEALING, and for the NINE THOUSANDTH TIME, remarks that he wonders what the heck is going on out there.

Vegeta, down on the ground, limps over to Dende and demands to be healed. Dende, however, will have none of it, refusing to heal someone who killed so many of his people. Dende flies off while Vegeta collapses with a "D'oh!".

Krillan drifts over to Gohan and explains why he blasted Vegeta, and the two go running to check on the Saiyan noble. However, they then see Dende zip by overhead, and Vegeta still lying there, and realize that perhaps they ought to have cleared this plan with the mini-Namek beforehand. Dende lands by Piccolo and heals him, while Krillan and Gohan go running back over.

Meanwhile, Bulma, dirty, staggering, exhausted and EXTREMELY surly, is provoked into even more surl when the evil energies released by Frieza's tranformation start to shatter the earth around her. Bulma spends some time ranting about how she hates the Dragonball crew and wishes she'd never come here, and really, can you blame her?

Meanwhile, everyone tries to convince Dende to go heal Vegeta, but he continues to refuse until Piccolo/Naihl points out that 1) All of them together probably can't stop Frieza, 2) If they don't at least try, Frieza will almost certainly detonate the planet just for kicks. Dende jogs back and heals Vegeta, who rewards the mini-Namek with a boot to the head for his troubles. Vegeta's none too happy about nearly dying. And really, can you blame him?

Frieza finally completes his transformation as the group gathers together at last. Instead of becoming more monstrous, he's almost human-like, albeit a weirdly alien sort of human. So, I guess, not human-like at all. In fact, he looks a bit like a demonic mime.

Next time: Dende snuffs it and everyone takes on the Most Totally Evil Mime In The Universe. Bets are still open on how long Goku's going to take to drag his lazy butt out and join in.


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