I mean, for crying out loud, nobody here in the dungeon even PLAYS golf.
In other stories of idiocy recently, the CIA started up a venture capital firm to spur development of high tech that they think would be useful. Um. Yeah. Sure, guys. Hey, isn't that OUR money they're spending? You bastards! I know that the government subsidizes lots of stuff, but they could at least be SUBTLE about it. I'm not sure we ought to be shelling out millions to spur the development of Dick Tracy-style wrist phones.
Another idiot popped up in Ohio, where construction crews severed about 160 Gb worth of cable with a back-hoe, while digging for something or other. "Hey, Verle, you think anythin's down there?" "Whut?" "Oh well, let's just dig." It's a tribute to the flexibility of the internet that this gaping wound in the communications infrastructure was barely noticable. Go, us.
Boy, what imaginative titles. Anyway, before we get into the meaty goodness of this episode, we ought to relate an important bit of DBZ backstory. You see, the Saiyans are such bad-asses because their power increases after every battle, win or lose. Well, assuming all their wounds heal, that is. The harder they get pounded, the stronger they are when they bounce back. The only thing that keeps them from taking over the universe is the fact that they don't have any regenerative abilities (which is why Vegeta was so interested in gaining eternal life; without fear of death, he could continue increasing his power infinitely.) This becomes important shortly.
Look, more fighting. Frieza's starting to gain the upper hand, and pounds Piccolo into the dirt, while Gohan, Krillan and Vegeta continue their Johnny Bench impressions. Piccolo stands up (again) and shucks his trademark hat and shoulder guards, so that he can move faster. But now he has no cape, and isn't quite as cool lookin'. Frieza waits patiently while Piccolo gathers more power. More fighting follows, and Piccolo regains the upper hand, pounding Frieza into the dirt. And, this time, he suffers a spontaneous attack of intelligence, and isn't content to simply stand their waiting for his opponent to get up, but keeps blasting cheerily away.
Krillan and Gohan start cheering, while Vegeta just thinks what morons they are for believing this is the end of Frieza. Sure enough, Frieza gets up and more fighting ensues, with Piccolo and Frieza about equal. As the fight drifts away, our three Johnny Bench impersonators drift after it, and Vegeta suddenly notices Dende tagging along below, on the ground. "Hm," he thinks, coming up with a plan.
Around this time, Krillan takes a moment to wonder why he didn't just take a sane career path and become a shoe salesman or something.
Goku, meanwhile, in the healing tank, comments about how he can sense Frieza's power level has gone down.
Frieza and Piccolo land, glowering at each other, as Frieza explains why he's taken his time with this battle. He has MORE transformations he can do, each one more powerful than the last. "You're full of it," replies Piccolo. Frieza just shrugs and... transforms! (Cue the 'transformers' sound.) This transformation apparently involves his head becoming extremely bulbous, like a giant cucumber, until he looks like a particularly stupid pink and white Xenomorph queen. Even Frieza himself admits that he looks idiotic. Everyone spends a moment staring, and we, naturally, cut to Goku so that he can comment about how Frieza's power level is higher than ever.
[Krillan: "On earth we have a saying... it's not over until the fat lady sings!" Vegeta: "Well, I think she just hummed a few bars."]
Piccolo takes to the air, hoping to use his speed to match Frieza's strength, but Frieza is now even faster, despite his ungainly appearance, and proceeds to smack Piccolo around some.
In the next dimension, Yaumcha and Three-Eye Guy use King Ki's telepathy to tell Piccolo that they're counting on him, and they believe in his abilities, a gesture of trust that has... no effect whatsoever! Frieza proceeds to pop open a giant can of whup-ass on Piccolo, who can do nothing but stand... er... float there getting whupped on.
Gohan finally can't take it any more, and launches himself towards the fight. Krillan moves to follow, but Vegeta grabs him and explains his plan. Saiyans grow in power after every fight, and Vegeta is on the edge of becoming a Super-Saiyan, so his plan is to have Krillan beat him within an inch of his life, and then have Dende heal him so his power increases and he can have an actual effect on the battle. Krillan just stares at him like he's completely out of his mind.
Next episode: "Okay, so, your plan is for ME to beat YOU to the point of death? That's it? That's your plan? Oh, man, we're SCREWED."
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