ZedneWeb / Library / Fools!


They were all fools. All of them. Even the ones with the Ph.D.s who all thought they were so smart, and probably still do at that. They didn't know the things they knew, neither did he. Technically, he did know the things he knew -- or didn't. Unfortunately, no one knew what the 'didn't' in the previous sentence referred to. This was most likely because of their aforementioned foolishness. They were all fools. That excepted no one. Not even him. That's why he knew, or didn't, or didn't not know. Whatever.

They were all fools. All of them. Even the one who went around saying that the universe was a giant, hollow doll's head belonging to a stegosaurus named Kelly. Just because he was right he wasn't any less a fool. He also went around saying God is Good. He never considered that Dog was Doog.

Was it? Was it really? No one knew. They were fools, after all. All of them. Fools. And not a ship in sight. How could there be? There was no water anywhere for miles. How could there be ships without water? He knew for a fact that there were no airplanes without air. There were also airships, did that mean there were seaairplanes? Did they have meal service? What color did their flight attendants wear?

He would have to check. No one would know, they were fools as you recall, but in any case he would have to check. No one was around at the moment, so he couldn't ask until later. He might have walked around to look for someone, but that didn't occur to him because he was a fool. Waiting for the thoughts to trickle into him like wasps made of orange rescue equipment, he walked over to the window.

The salty air hit him like lukewarm cheez striking a water balloon. He gazed out over the gently rolling waves and looked into the distance. He could see a pod of dolphins, leaping through the air and water. Below them, no doubt, probably dozens of feet or miles beneath the official bottom of the water lived the giant squid and the Eskimo -- both of which were mythological creatures that existed only in the Real World.

He would have to visit Ocean some day. He had heard it was quite a sight -- the fools thought it was a sight, but he was a fool too, so he should enjoy it. In any case, the great river Ocean, which kept the land from spilling off the edge of the earth, was no doubt less bland than the village he was in now.

Sure, they tried to have local color, but all they could manage was a sort of general plaid. Their carefully hand-made prefabricated houses showed the unmistakable characteristics of the characteristic-less Official Style. The Official Style was actually completely different, but no one seemed to notice. They were too busy eating their food with utensils, instead of how the Doog Dog had taught them. They were fools too. The question was, what kind of fools were they? No one seemed to know. Everyone knew why, but they really didn't. Technically they did, but in point of fact they never thought about it. Not even on weekends, when Kelly would play house with the World. At least the tea was good. Good enough for fools.

David Menendez, zednenem@alumni.psu.edu