Blue Light Productions presents...

This is my second posting, but it is my first MiSTing [I took a break 
halfway through to hammer something else :) ]. Any comments, send them to

[<insert typical show opening here>]

[Scene starts with Tom and Mike tinkering with something inside a box. 
Crow comes on from right.]

CROW: What'cha doing guys?
TOM: Mike and I have invented a device to travel in time.
CROW: Yeah. Various mad scientists have been trying to do this for years, 
and now you've succeeded?
MIKE: Come on, Crow. Show some support. We've really done it.
CROW: Okay then. Prove it.

[Mike holds up a plug.]

MIKE: I'll just go put this in the power socket.

[Mike exits to the left with the plug.]

MIKE: [off screen] Okay, Tom. Hit it.

[Tom bumbs the start button with his head. The machine ligths up, looking 
not dissimiliar to Orac. Crow looks at it skeptically.]

CROW: Nice light show, botboy.
TOM: Hey, give it a chance. We're just warming it up. You just wont admit 
that we can now travel in time.
CROW: I'll believe it when I see it.

[Tom's head pops on shot from right.]

SECOND TOM: [Voice sounds a bit odd] Hiya, Tom, old pal. Nice to see you. 
Now that you know you can travel in time, I decided to come back to see 
you on this momentous day.

[Crow is looking at the second Tom, shocked. The second Tom turns to him.]

MAGIC VOICE: Commerical Sign in fifteen seconds.
SECOND TOM: Oh, and Crow.
CROW: [slowly] Yes?
SECOND TOM: Pppppppptttt.

[Crow faints, and we hear him crash onto the floor.]

TOM: Hehehehe. You can come out now, Mike.

[Mike comes on from right, holding a copy of Tom's head.]

MAGIC VOICE: Commerical Sign in five seconds.
MIKE: That was pretty mean, wasn't it?
TOM: Yep.
MIKE: We shouldn't have done that.
TOM: Nope.

[Both try to stop themselves laughing, then give up and descend into mad 

MAGIC VOICE: Commerical Sign now.

[Mike manages to get himself under enough control to hit the button.]

[Commericals. Aren't you glad you have these things?]

[Scene comes back to SOL. Gypsy is standing in front of Mike and Tom, 
berating them. Crow isn't to be seen.]

GYPSY: And you agree that you've been naughty?

[Both nod slowly.]

GYPSY: And you agree to never do it again?

[Both nod slowly again, but can't keep it up, and burst out laughing again.]

GYPSY: Come on, guys, that wasn't nice. I've put Crow away for a nice rest...
TOM: Yeah, a long rest in a mental institute.
GYPSY: [Louder] A NICE REST and when he comes back, I want you to apologise.
TOM: Aw, Gypsy. You're always ruining our fun.
MIKE: She has a point. We should be responsible people, willing to accept 
when we're wrong.
GYPSY: Thank you, Mike.
MIKE: Of course, in this case, we aren't in the wrong, but...

[Gypsy storms off. The Mads light flashes.]

MIKE: Mr. Tactful is calling.

[He pushes the button.]


DR F: Ah, Nelson. I see you're busy alienating your robot pals. Before 
too long, you'll have to deal with these posts all by yourself.


[Crow comes on from left.]

CROW: Never! We'll always stand together, through thick and thin. Nothing 
can stop us from overcoming your retchedness.
MIKE: Why, thank you Crow. That's a rather noble speech.
CROW: [low voice] Yeah, yeah. Just wait, Nelson. You'll get yours. Only 
_I_ want to give it to you, and not let Dr F. do it.


DR F: It's just as well you're faking time travel. You'll fit right in 
with these posts I found on alt.sci.time-travel.


TOM: Time travel? Neat. I've always liked dabbling in that area.

[Crow looks at Tom murderously.]


DR F: That's good, botbite. You'll really hate these posts then.

[He chortles and pushes the button.]

[SOL - Divers alarums, etc]



>Article 1839 of alt.sci.time-travel:

[Mike and the bots enter the theatre and settle down.]
MIKE: We're sorry Crow.
TOM: Yeah. Honestly.
[They cover their mouths as they start giggling again.]
CROW: Bite me.

>From: (RHB)

CROW: Really Hokey Boy?
TOM: Rather Hippy Bopper?
MIKE: Rack Hack Back?
CROW: Roger His Be-
MIKE: I think that's enough.

>Newsgroups: alt.sci.time-travel
>Subject: 22nd Message From Future

TOM: The 22nd? Where are the first 21?
CROW: Quiet. Don't give Dr. F. any more ideas.

>Date: Wed, 30 Aug 1995 17:51:59 -0800
>Organization: IslandNet

MIKE: [singing] Islands in the Net, that is all we are...

>Lines: 91
>Message-ID: <>
>NNTP-Posting-Host: denman

CROW: Hey, man! It's the Denman!

>What follows is one of the eight messages that arrived during my stay in
>hospital.  While I still remain in a convalescent ward, I have obtained

MIKE: The complete set of Magic: The Gathering(tm) cards.

>the messages from my secretary and am releasing them to the various
>networks.  My change of mind is directly related to

CROW: Being bashed around the head by a brick.
MIKE: [as Richard Briers] I now have a thirty second attention span, and 
think ads are more real than life.
TOM: Well, aren't they?

>                                                    a visit I have had by
>a rather serious young woman claiming to be the Pauline McKinnon from the
>"Messages From the Future".  To make matters worse she was accompanied by

TOM: A ten foot gorilla with a machine gun.

>Ms. JoJo Braun, the private detective I had the misfortune to hire.  Ms.
>McKinnon spoke to me in lawyerly qualifications but her message was

MIKE: [still as Briers] But not as clear as it could be. New "Spammo" 
cleaning fluid gets those whites bright, and those colours white!

>      -disassociate myself entirely from the "Messages From the Future" or
>I would suffer consequences.  Men of my generation did not back down from
>the Nazi brutes nor the military machine of the Japanese, I'll be damned
>if I'll be intimidated by a lawyer of all people.

TOM: [Nerdy voice] Hello. I'm from Brackham Lawyers, and we're doing a 
study on how we intimidate you.

>                                                   What follows is the
>22nd message from the future along with some comments my secretary somehow
>felt obliged to include.  By the way, the mysterious four have recently
>sent me a near fully contructed Web Page

CROW: But didn;t supply assembling instructions, so I used some cRaZy GlUe.

>                                         to use as a public receptacle for
>their messages and to serve as a forum for discussion.  The address is as
>follows (please use no spaces and be attendant to the respective upper and
>lower case): -- RHB --

[All get up and try to hide the address from Doctor Forrester.]

>Here's a message from these rude young men.  It arrived on Mr. B's

TOM: Mr. B Flat?
CROW: Mr. B or not to B?
MIKE: Mr. B Natural?

>computer board just like he said it would.  I think the problem with these
>young men is that they don't have young women to be keeping them in line. 

[Crow opens his beak.]
MIKE: [warningly] No.

>Probably have acne, don't wash and spend all their time inside playing
>those silly games.

TOM: [falsetto] Those women are a disgrace.

>                    They're right about Mr. B though--he's going to be
>just fine or so the surgeon says--although the doctor not looking much
>more the 15 years old does not inspire much faith.

CROW: [as Doogie Howser] Hello. I'll be your fifthteen year old doctor 

>                                                    I'll close now and put
>this message in Mr. B's disk. -- Miss Dorothy Littlejohn
>Hey trogs, we bet you're going to miss old RHB's usual spiel about how
>much he loves us and believes us.  Hey, we miss him too.  Not to
>worry--the operation was a success.  Sorry about that baggy you have to
>wear, RHB

TOM: So this is how people talk in the future?
MIKE: Yep. 'Trogs' is now considered a term of affection.

>San Francisco Examiner -- June 19, 2001
>San Francisco -- Several of the city's playhouses and music halls have

TOM: Been destroyed by fire.

>responded to new American with Disabilities Act (ADA) mandated rest room
>laws by scaling back on men's urinals.

CROW: So, there're going to be smaller urinals?
MIKE: Either that or smaller men.

>                                       The ADA was used in a successful
>challenge by irate female theater matrons upset with the twenty minutes
>waits during intermission.

CROW: I take your king with my ADA.

>                            Because of the longer rest room time needed by
>females (an estimated five times longer than a man for a comparable bodily

ALL: Eew!

>          the ADA ordered an adjustment in the rest room facilities to
>"even the playing field".

CROW: [Annoucer's voice] It's the bottom of the ninth, and the woman need 
twenty more minutes than the men.

>                           Cash strapped theaters responded by tearing out
>men's urinals rather than the costly addition of female cubicles.  Many of
>the city's theaters now have only one urinal available to the male
>public.  Potted plants have also been removed.

MIKE: Now that's an image I can live without.

>New York Times - October 20, 2005
>New York -- Agents of the Justice Department closed down the complete
>Science and Engineering Departments of 36 of the nation's universities. 

TOM: But if a university had an incomplete Science and Engineering 
Department, they were safe.
CROW: [Acned teenager voice] I'll swap you a Comp Sci for a Biology, and 
then I'll have all the Science Departments.

>Citing national security, the President and Attorney General explained
>that the leaders of the illegal underground computer network known as

MIKE: SplinterNet: Coming Out Of The Woodwork.

>            were thought to have infiltrated the hallowed halls of

TOM: Oh no, there's someone in the halls of academia. Kill him!

>           Attorney General Pauline McKinnon would not comment except to

CROW: Bite me.
TOM: Hey, Mike, isn't she the woman that was hassling RHB.
MIKE: Her and Ms. JoJo.

>     "I suggest that those students affected, change their majors to
>something in the arts."

CROW: So they change from having no life to having no life. Big change.

>                         The departments are to remain closed until
>further notice.
>Hey, guess what--the feds stopped nuking the Splinternet.

TOM: They finally worked out that they can't hit something that only 
virtually exists.

>                                                           Carlos says
>it's because they want to use the net to find out who everyone is so they
>can arrest them.  So, what's our plan?

CROW: A daylight charge across the minefield!

>                                        Carlos says not to worry--yeah,
>right.  Like the net is totally infiltrated.  Guess who shows up in the
>general chat this week-

TOM: General G.S. Patton?
CROW: Bob Newhart?
MIKE: Mrs. P. Bottomley?

>                       -Aunt Polly herself.

ALL: Oh.

>                                             It was hot.  The admin gave
>her an avatar that he copied from The Wizard of Oz--you guessed it: the
>wicked witch.

TOM: <Wicked witch voice> "I'm melting, I'm melting."

>               Before she can say anything Carlos enters the room--he's
>chosen Charleton Heston as Moses for his avatar (staff, hair, white beard,
>the whole nine yards).

CROW: Nine yards of beard?

>                        We bring it to you now courtesy of the wormhole.

CROW: Aargh! DS9 is real!

>Aunt Polly: By the power vested in me by the people of these United States
>of America, I declare this to be a seditious assembly.  All those present
>are guilty of treason and, unless they desist immediately, will be
>punished with the full measure of the law.

MIKE: New from United: Judge Polly staring Sylvester Stallone.

>Carlos: Madame, we are simply exercising our

TOM: Fingers, as we take you on in this flame war.

>                                             constitutional rights as
>guaranteed by the First Amendment.

CROW: We didn't have any rights to begin with, so they had to amend some.

>Aunt Polly: I regard supporters of the First Amendment as no better than
>pimps for pornographers.

TOM: But pimps deal in prostitution, not pornography.
CROW: I wouldn't mind dealing in both.
TOM: Hey, I'm making a techincal point here. Don't drag it down.
CROW: Bite me.

>Carlos: Madame, are you not familiar with the Declaration of Independence.

MIKE: [Carlos] I am because I saw a cartoon all about it on Animaniacs.

>Aunt Polly: Don't try to frighten me with the foolish words of a bunch of
>slave-owning dead white males.

CROW: How many slave-owning males do you know that are dead white?
MIKE: I knew a chap once who always looked rather pale...

>                                I represent the will of the people of the
>United States.
>Carlos: You Madame, are a censor.  We are the people.

CROW: No, we are the people!
TOM: No, we are the people!
MIKE: No, we are the people!

>Aunt Polly: You have all been warned.
>What a thoroughly nasty woman.

CROW: [in a bored voice] Oooh, the sarcasm. I'm hurting here.

>                                Not at all like Mr. Twain's creation,
>although, I trust, there's no relation.  That's all for now.  I'm off to
>the hospital with some jello I've made for Mr. B. -- Dorothy Littlejohn

CROW: So, has she got a small toilet?
MIKE: I don't think so, Crow.

>Article 1840 of alt.sci.time-travel:
>From: (RHB)
>Newsgroups: alt.sci.time-travel
>Subject: 23rd Message From Future

TOM: Yay, another one!
MIKE: Are you feeling all right, Tom?

>Date: Wed, 30 Aug 1995 17:53:02 -0800
>Organization: IslandNet
>Lines: 90
>Message-ID: <>
>What follows is one of the eight messages that arrived during my stay in

TOM: Haven't we seen this before?
MIKE: If we're lucky, we'll never see it again.

>           While I still remain in a convalescent ward, I have obtained
>the messages from my secretary and am releasing them to the various
>networks.  My change of mind is directly related to a visit I have had by
>a rather serious young woman claiming to be the Pauline McKinnon from the
>"Messages From the Future".

CROW: Remember, that's *the* Pauline McKinnon from the "Messages From the 
Future", not just any old Pauline McKinnon from the "Messages From the 

>                             To make matters worse she was accompanied by
>Ms. JoJo Braun, the private detective I had the misfortune to hire.  Ms.
>McKinnon spoke to me in lawyerly qualifications

CROW: LLB(Hons).

>                                                but her message was
>clear--disassociate myself entirely from the "Messages From the Future" or
>I would suffer consequences.  Men of my generation did not back down from
>the Nazi brutes nor the military machine of the Japanese, I'll be damned

CROW: <as RHB> If I do, so I'll go sit in a corner far away from 
everyone, so just please ignore me, thank you.

>if I'll be intimidated by a lawyer of all people.  What follows is the
>23rd message from the future along with some comments my secretary somehow
>felt obliged to include.

CROW: [as Dorothy] To include the comments I had to feel Obliged.
MIKE: Ummm, I don't think that works, Crow.

>                          By the way, the mysterious four have recently
>sent me a near fully contructed Web Page to use as a public receptacle for

TOM: Ridicule and derision.

>their messages and to serve as a forum for discussion.  The address is as
>follows (please use no spaces and be attendant to the respective upper and
>lower case): RHB --

[Again all try to obscure the address]

>Mr. B is recovering very nicely, thank you,

ALL: You're welcome!

>                                            from his surgery.  Although I
>must say he's even crankier than usual.  I feel sorry for those poor
>nurses (Mr. B. doesn't know it, but he bought them each a dozen roses and
>a very tasteful card).

MIKE: Mr. B. has a split personality.
CROW: [as Dorothy] Mr. B. doesn't know it, but he just gave me all of his 

>                        I overheard Mr. B. bullyragging one of the

TOM: Mike, how do you bullyrag someone?
MIKE: You wave a flag under their nose?

>hospital maintenance people (right in the middle of my favorite soap, if
>you can imagine that--my those hospital TV's are wee)

ALL: Ewww.
MIKE: I don't think we needed to know that.
CROW: That's what you get when you don't empty your pan.
MIKE: I don't think we needed to know that either.

>                                                      and from what I
>overheard, Mr. B. has bribed the man into stringing another line into his
>room for a modem.  The silly old fool can't stand to be without his

TOM: New Raggedy-Ann doll!

>beloved computer for a minute.  The message that these four young men
>promised to send arrived on Mr. B's computer this morning.  I still think
>they're rude but, then again, I always liked a little sass in a man. --

CROW: [as Dorothy] Drink this root beer, and when we can snuggle down for 
the night.

>Dorothy Littlejohn
>Hey Dorothy, will you be our grandmother, huh, huh, please, please. 

TOM: Wont they already have a grandmother?
MIKE: Perhaps they were orphaned at birth, and would like Dorothy to take 
the position of surrogate grandmotherhood.
CROW: Perhaps they're just stupid.

>Greetings trogs.  So, everyone on the SplinterNet is guilty of treason. 
>We guess if you're reading this that you're probably guilty too.

TOM: Oh no! I'm going to jail! Help me!
MIKE: If they're the future, I think we'd be better off in jail.

>                                                                  Anyway,
> things aren't going so good here.  The net's down in Boston, Philly, San
>Jose, Duluth, and in about 40 other cities.  The good news is that our old
>friend Bill Gates has started to ship palmtops by the shipload (yeah,
>that's ship as in big boat)

TOM: So, he's *big boating* palmtops?
CROW: [Looking at his hand] I wonder how much the top of my palm is 
worth? Get it? Top of my palm? Palmtop? [sighes] Never mind.

>                           --only they don't look like palmtops.  The look
>like cigarette boxes, DATmans, Big Macs,

MIKE: [whiny voice] Would you like fries with your palmtop?

>                                         you get the picture.  Oh, right,
>you trogs are probably scratching your heads and thinking "where's room
>for the keyboards?"  Here's a little financial tip, boys and girls:

MIKE: Always remember to take the money out of the wallet before using 
it to pay for something.
TOM: [as a salesclerk] That'll be $39.95.
CROW: [motions handing over a wallet] D'oh. Gotta remember: take the 
money out first.

>                                                                    Voice
>Recognition.  The young nerd in 1995 has no penmanship--the young nerd in
>2005 can't keyboard.  Okay, so we take back all those nasty things we said
>over the years about Billy G.

TOM: [in Rap mode] Billy G., he's a he, that makes a lot of... money.

>                              Hey, that whole Windows 95 thing he did
>back in the 90's to secretly make Apple look good so he could buy the
>company pissed us off.  Talking about devious.

TOM: So Bill Gates is making Apple look good so he can pay lots of money 
to buy it?
CROW: That isn't devious, that's stoopid.

>                                                Anyway, here are a couple
>of news bulletins you can look forward to.
>New York Times -- Dec. 10, 1998
>St. Paul Minnesota -- The Center for Advanced Feminist Studies in
>conjunction with the Center for Women in International Development and the
>Women's Studies Department at the University of Minnesota have amended the

TOM: So, that's the CFAS with the CWID and the WSD at the UOM.
MIKE: Pay attention. There'll be a quiz afterwards.

>university's sexual harassment code to include the prohibition of words or
>statements critical of feminism.  Ms. Patty Foxglove, the chief university
>officer for sexual harassment characterized the new amendment as

TOM: <as Patty> "Something for everyone!"

>"Criticism of feminism is an attack on all women, an effort to keep women
>in their subjugative role--in other words, it is sexual harassment."  The
>new written code goes into effect immediately.

TOM: Wow, so saying anything bad about feminisim is a crime now?
CROW: Bet they can say anything they like about men without it being 
considered sexual harrassment.
MIKE: That would only happen if life was fair, Crow.

>Los Angeles Times -- Jan. 6, 2000
>Truckee, California

CROW: [Bunkin accent] Howde, folks. I'm from Truckee, Cal-i-for-ni-a.
MIKE: [same] Howde, folks. I'm from Pitchfork, Tennesse.
TOM: [same] Howde, folks. I'm from Hell's Angel, Wisconsin.

>                    -- Frank and Anna Scanlon a Truckee couple have
>launched a six million dollar damages suit against Coors Breweries.

TOM: I poured six million dollars of Coors on my suit, and it damaged it.

>                                                                     Mr.
>Scanlon, a retired quadraplegic rodeo rider

CROW: He rides quadraplegic rodeoes?
MIKE: I.... don't think so.

>                                            and confessed "beeraholic" has
>been unable to remove the twist tops from the eight beers he consumes

TOM: And I can't move my arms! Who can I sue?
CROW: The other guy.

>        Mrs. Scanlon, who cares for her infirm husband, has developed
>painful Carpal Tunnel Syndrome in each hand.

MIKE: If I had a car tunnel in my hand, it'd be pretty painful too.

>                                             Spokespersons from the giant
>brewery have declined to comment.  
>Hey, guess what?  Now that the feds say we're all criminals, Carlos says
>it's time we started acting the part.

TOM: [Thick accent] Ya got da things, boss?

>                                       Last week the inner circle met with
>the heads of the five biggest crime families in the country.

CROW: Their bodies had to stay home. Get it? Met the heads, but the 
bodies... never mind.

>                                                              Yeah, that's
>right--we're talking the "M' word --organized crime.

TOM: Since when did 'organized crime' begin with a big "M'?
MIKE: Since it was spelt M-A-F-I-A. Either that, or they don't need to 
spell in the future.
CROW: Well, in that case, Ratliff would be a god.
[All contemplate this concept.]
ALL: Naaaaa!

>                                                      These guys are,
>well, organized.  They got more nerds with computers than goons with
>guns.  Anyway, it's all settled.  SplinterNet's gonna run it and the
>families are gonna provide the money and, as they call it, security. 

CROW: We call it security, but you can call it Sir!

>Meeting these guys was wild.  They all had like snake's eyes and looked
>like they could put a bullet through your eye as easy as taking a leak. 
>As tough as they were, Carlos seemed like 10 times tougher.

CROW: He can put a bullet through your eye ten times more easily than 
taking a leak.

>                                                             These crime
>guys were funny too--they loved Aunt Polly, couldn't get enough of her. 

TOM: The new highly delicious Aunt Polly Pie!
MIKE: Ya can't get enough.

>One guy, who looked a couple hundred years old, dressed in old fashioned
>golf clothes like he just stepped off a course, said, "Love that
>dame--every time the government outlaws something--it's a business op for

CROW: <as Michael Corleone> I'll make you a business deal ya can't refuse.

>      So anyway, we're in the underground arcade business now.  We're
>opening 24 spots in cities across the country next week.  Each place is in
>the worst part of town--gangs, muggings, you name it.

TOM: We feel right at home.

>                                                       Cops don't even
>bother patrolling.  But if you want to play in our arcade, you got free
>passage, guaranteed.  Let's see the LUD's bust these places up.

TOM: Yay, let's go play in the arcade.
MIKE: I don't think we can get there from up here.

>Article 1831 of alt.sci.time-travel:
>From: <prh>

CROW: Hey, what is it with TLA names?
TOM: Some of us have taste.

>Newsgroups: alt.sci.time-travel
>Subject: Proof of alteration of history...REALLY!

CROW: Oh yeah, like that's real.
TOM: Yeah. If history had changed, our memories would change as well, so 
we wouldn't notice.
CROW: Gee, thanks for that, Servo.

>Date: 30 Aug 1995 06:17:21 GMT
>Organization: Network Intensive

MIKE: Network Intensive: The Network that gets real close.

>Lines: 41
>Message-ID: <420vph$>
>NNTP-Posting-Host: thewall

TOM: <a la Kryten> It's the waaallllllll!!!!

>Mime-Version: 1.0
>Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii
>Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit
>X-Mailer: Mozilla

CROW: It's yet another bad Japanese movie: Godzilla versus Mozilla - The 
dinosaur with a mohawk.

>                  1.1N (X11; I; AIX 2)
>X-URL: news:alt.sci.time-travel#Pine.SUN.3.91.950823102055.26856D-100000@

TOM: Yeah, no parallel parking. This is a yellow zone, mister.

>This IS NOT a joke or hypothetical example.  Our history has been altered.

MIKE: Are you sure it's not a joke?

>Though I have noted a few examples over the years, one is an outstanding
>historical event which is known world wide concerning celebrity and death.

TOM: Elvis Presley is really dead.
CROW: No he isn't.
TOM: Yes he is.
CROW: No he isn't.
MIKE: Quiet guys.

>Before I state my notion of a proof,

TOM: This is what I think a proof is, even though I created it just by 
hitting the keys on my keyboard.

>                                     let me explain my assumptions.
>First, I conclude that, not unlike "smoothing out" historical incongruity,
>chaos works to cover most alterations.

TOM: [as advert] So if you have an unsightly alteration to cover, you can 
use the new all-powerful Chaos!

>                                        Like the "beating butterfly wings"
>starting the hurricane, chaos finds an appropriate "butterfly analog" if 
>needed to support the factual hurricane.

CROW: I think his mind got stuck in a hurricane.

>Second, if a time traveler has altered the past, you should find physical
>evidence occasionally which does not match remembered or noted past events. 

TOM: Why? If they happened in the past, why shouldn't we remember them?

>An example might be the .30 caliber hole between the eyes of a prehistoric 
>water buffalo skull found in excellent condition.  How did a "cave man" 
>shoot it with a .300 Mag rifle?

MIKE: You know, guys, that's quite a good point.
CROW: Yeah, but nothing like that has actually been found though.

>Now to my offered proof...

MIKE: Okay guys, let's be quiet for the great revelation.

>                            Bruce Lee, per current historical remembrance,
>made "Return of the Dragon" BEFORE "Enter the Dragon".  I remember it the 
>other way around.  I find it humorous that the special which gave me the 
>current INACCURATE time line droned on about the movie time line and didn't 
>even note the fact that "Return..." implies that "Enter..." came first. 

TOM: So... so that's it?
CROW: That's his entire reason for thinking history's been changed?
MIKE: Some TV program gets it wrong, and he thinks he's in alternate 
CROW: I wish he was in an alternate universe.
TOM: That's like saying that Star Wars 1-3 was made before Star Wars 4-6.
CROW: Yeah.

>My conclusion of this time line change is not based on the language, it is
>based on my own memories.  It is based on my own movie viewing time line.  I
>KNOW that "Enter the Dragon" was made prior to "Return of the Dragon".

CROW: And because you remember seeing it first makes it first? Yeah, of 
course we believe you.

>Before you flame me for having a poor memory, I will concede that a current
>check of historical fact will fully support the "Return..." prior to the
>"Enter..." history.

TOM: Either that, or your sources are wrong.

>                     I am contending that no matter how compelling the 
>factual representation of current history, it has been changed to match 
>the alteration. It could be no other way...history matches the alteration.

TOM: Then why doesn't you're memory match the alteration?
MIKE: I'm special. My memory doesn't conform to any known timeline.

>Once again, I sincerely do not offer this to amuse or start a discussion. 

CROW: I offer this as a poor excuse to start mail bombing me.

>I offer it as one of the most outstanding of my own tracking of altered 
>time line events

CROW: Especially as the others are along the lines of me vomitting up 
things I don't remember eating.

>                 which prove to me, if no one else, that time travelers 
>are interacting with us.  I continue to note such events when I have 
>certainty of my memory and find disagreements

MIKE: I disagree with the certainty of your mind.

>                                              or when physical evidence 
>(like the water buffalo) crops up. 

CROW: <farmer's accent> Hey, how'd you like them crop of water buffalo?

>P. R. (Phil) Houtz

CROW: <Texan accent> Hi. I'm P. R. (Phil) Houtz, but you can call me 
MIKE: Crow!
CROW: Come on, Mike. He deserves it.


TOM: Let's get outta here.
[Mike picks up Tom and leaves, with Crow following close behind.]

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