Script: Herman Au Natural

                               * HERMAN'S HEAD *


                             "HERMAN AU NATURAL"
                                (episode 18)
                         by D.B. Gilles & Don Demaio

                       Original airdate (Fox): 02/23/92

                      Script transcribed by Stephen Hill
                         Written on the 19th May 1994.

       Episode sypnosis:

          At the insistence of Mr. Crawford, the research department 
          goes to an all-nude self-awareness seminar at resort in 
          the Bahamas.


                     * Characters and their abbreviations *

         Regular cast:

            Herman Brooks .................... William Ragsdale 
            Jay Nichols ...................... Hank Azaria
            Heddy Newman ..................... Jane Sibbett
            Louise Fitzer .................... Yeardley Smith
            Angel ............................ Molly Hagan
            Animal ........................... Ken Hudson Campbell
            Wimp ............................. Rick Lawless 
            Genius ........................... Peter MacKenzie
            Paul Bracken ..................... Jason Bernard

         Guest Cast:

            Mr. Crawford ..................... Ed Winter
            Dr. Paige Holland ................ Brenda Strong

                               Main Characters : 
                         /Herman = H  /  Louise   = L /|
                        /Heddy  = HD /  Bracken  = B / /
                       /Jay    = J  /  Crawford = C / /
                      /____________/_______________/ /

                              'Brain' Characters:
                          /Angel  = A  / Wimp   = W /|
                         /Animal = AN / Genius = G / /
                        /____________/____________/ /

                               Other characters

                             Dr.Paige Holland = P


<OPEN : Show starts with a wintery view of Waterton Publishing. Shot cuts to
the research department, where Herman has just entered. He makes a bee-line
straight for the window. He flings it open...>

H : I hate the Winter! I hate New York in winter! I hate my life!
Voice : <distantly> Shuddup! 
H : Oh - shut up yourself!  <something?>

<Herman retreats from the window>

H : My god - I've become a New Yorker.

<Heddy walks in. Despite the weather, she is wearing a mini skirt.>

HD : Morning Herman.
H : Heddy, it's two degrees out there. How can you go out like 
    that - you'll catch pneumonia.
HD : Small price to pay for looking this good!

<A person enters the office. Herman doesn't realize who it 
is because she is completely engulfed in clothes.)

H : Can I help you sir?
L : <starting to undress> Herman, it's me, Louise! It's freezing out there.
    The weather's making everyone nuts, you should have heard this maniac
    screaming out of the window.

<cut to brain>

AN : I'm not a maniac! I frozen, and I don't have a women. 
      I can't take it any more.
W : Are we having some crisis that no-one has told me about?
G : Shuddup! The reason we don't have women is because we're overworked.
A : <walking to Genius> I sense some hostility - that's not good.
W : <to angel> That's because we're having this crisis...
A : <turning to Wimp> Oh shuddup!
<cut to office. Mr.Crawford walks in.>

C : <walking to Herman> Sherman, hug me! Hahaha! <flinging his arms around him>
B : <walking out of his office> Crawford, let my people go.
C : <To Bracken> Oh - don't get me wrong. It's just that..Dammit I've 
     shed my macho facade.
H : How nice for you!
C : As of today I'm a loving, caring, human being. 
H : <Gets up and walks toward Crawford> Hey! <said 'nicely'>
C : <'moving' Herman away> : Get away, I'm done with you! 
    <walking to Bracken> Paul! Hug me!
B : Crawford, I don't think...
C : Hug me dammit! Open up to me Paul! <hugs him tightly. Bracken makes a face>
    Paul - I love you!
B : <making another face> I....appreciate that Crawford - is there 
    something I can do for you?
C : Yes! Dr.Paige Holland is going to meet me down here in just a few moments.
L : <walking to Crawford> Dr. Holland? I've just finished reading her book;
    "Everything you want to know about self esteem, but don't feel entitled 
     to ask." <pause> Made me realise I'm a valid human being.
C : <to Louise> Who are you?
L : <Enthusiastically> Louise Fitzer!
C : You're very self-aware Louise.
L : Thank you!
C : Now be quiet! Last weekend I went to Dr.Holland's seminar on self 
    awareness.  It's made me so aware of my needs and the needs of others,
    I put her in charge on "Modern Psychology" magazine.
H : What happened to Masterson?
C : <Turning to Herman> I fired him, he was weak. 

<Crawford moves to the centre of the room.>

C : Right everybody - group hug! Everybody! <Gestures all the people to the
    centre of the room>. Not you! <pointing to one of the "background" people>

<Louise walks towards Crawford but Bracken grabs the back 
of her sweater and pulls her backwards out of shot.>

B : Crawford, we have work to do.
C : Bracken, there love in this office. 
    You people need sensitivity and self awareness training.
L : I've been telling them that for years - but they won't listen to me.
C : That's because you lack what the Latin's refer to as "Charisma." 
    Watch, and learn.

<Crawford walks to the centre of the room again.>

C : People, I want you all to attend Dr.Holland's seminar this weekend.
HD : <standing up> Oh, with all due respect Mr.Crawford, I'd love to go. 
However, my arthritic aunt needs a ride to the hospital and...
C : It's in the Bahamas!
HD : Who's paying?
C : I am.
HD : Do I have to sleep with you?
C : No.
HD : I'm in!
C : <turning to Louise> Charisma! <Walks towards Bracken.> Paul!
B : Ohh.. Ahh.. Crawford, I don't really think..
C : <interrupting> Don't bring me down Paul - I don't like to be down. 
    Bring me back up.
B : <sternly> Crawford, I don't want to go.
C : I'm a vice president, and I say you go.
B : Fine! I'll go.
C : <turning to Louise again> Charisma!

<Dr.Holland walks into the office.>

C : Ah! Dr.Holland, so good to see you. Research department, this 
    is Dr.Holland. Dr.Holland, this is the research department.
L : <goes up to Dr.Holland> Dr.Holland. You are brilliant. 
    I am a big fan of yours. I read your book on self esteem 
    and compared to you I am nothing. I am a worm.
H : Louise, you may want to give that book another glance.
P : <turning to Herman> I sense some sarcasm.

<cuts to Bracken and Crawford, who are standing together>

C : She is so inciteful. Bracken, praise her!
B : <walking away> Nice dress....

<Crawford walks to Dr.Holland>

C : I want to see you all at that seminar this weekend. 
   <Crawford walks out of the office.>

P : <turning to Herman> Well Sherman, do you want to come to my seminar?

<cut to brain.>

AN : All I wanna do is put my head between your breasts 
     and say "Brrrriittzski!"
A : <walking up to Animal> You don't go up to a renouned heath care 
    professional, put your head between her breasts and say "Brrrriittzski!"
AN : How about "Woolwollwowooolwlowlow"?
A : <disgusted> Stop it!
AN : Oh god I'm bored, I need excitement. I say we go!
A : Well if we go, it'll be to get in touch with our emotions.
G : <walking up to Animal and Angel> Look, this self awareness 
    stuff is a bunch of psycho-babbling crap! But, it's Crawford's
    psycho-babbling crap, so I say...

<Animal and Genius start to sing...>

G : Now we go, 
AN+G : leave the snow, down the Bahama way,
AN : A-do the limbo!

<cuts back to office.>

P : Well Sherman, do you want to come to my self awareness seminar?
H : It's "Herman", and..yeah, I'll be there.
P : Good, maybe we can get to know each other.
H : Well, seeing as its self awareness - first, I'll get to know me. 
    But if I finish up early, sure, I'd love to get to know you.
P : Good - I'll see you there. <walks out of office, just as Jay 
    is walking in. Jay goes up to Herman.>
J : Wow! Who..who's the babe?
H : Dr.Paige Holland, beautiful huh?
J : Doctor?  Well turn my head and cough.
H : She's a psychiatrist Jay. She's holding a seminar this weekend.
J : What kind of seminar?
H : I don't know, but's it's in the Bahamas, and she's in charge, 
    and I am going to _be_ there.
J : Bahamas?
H : Yeah!
J : Expensive?
H : No - Crawford's paying.
J : Will I have to sleep with him?
H : No.
J : I'm in!

<Next scene is based in the Bahamas, where Louise, Heddy and Herman 
are just entering the hotel lobby.>

HD : Terrible flight!
L : Well what kind of airline shows the movie "Terror at 30,000 feet"?

<Bracken enters, and is carrying a large bag of golf clubs,
among other things.>

H : Mr.Bracken, why did you bring so much stuff?
B : Herman, I haven't been on a vacation since nineteen hundred and 
    sixty-five. If I have to be here, I'm going to have fun dammit! 
    Just wind me up and point me to the golf course.
L : <looking through a brochure> Mr.Bracken, there is no golf course here.
B : Tennis courts?
L : Nope.
B : Fishing boat?
L : No.
B : Then what do they have here?
L : Sharks.
B : Well, then I guess scuba-diving's out. As it is my wife says I look like 
    a sea cow - add flippers to that and I'm chum in the water.

<Bracken goes up to the reception.>

B : "Bracken."

<He collects his key before walking off.>
H : <to Louise> So where's Dr.Holland?
L : Herman, it's wonderful how you've embraced your philosophies. 
    You've been talking about her the whole flight down. 
H : She really made an impression on me.
L : I'm so glad! I was afraid no-one was going to take this seriously.

<Jay crashes through the doors carrying several shopping bags.>

J : Whoo! What a place, huh? I love it here - the people, the culture. 
    Hey, wh..what language are they speaking?
H : English.
J : Ah! yeah.
H : What d'you have in the bags Jay?
J : Stuff I just bought at the airport, it's all duty free.
H : You know the whole point of duty free is to avoid taxes 
    when you _leave_ a country.
J : No!?
H : Yes.
J : Great, what I am supposed to do with two cases of rum and thirty 
    cartons of cigarettes - I don't even smoke. <He walks out of shot>

<Dr.Holland enters>

H : Dr.Holland!
P : Oh! - glad to see you're all here. At one 'o clock I'll be holding the 
    first seminar on the beach. The topic is "Shedding your inhibitions and 
    getting in touch with the real you."

<Cut to brain - Animal and Genius are dancing to calypso music.>

AN : Here's the real me - Touch away sweetheart!

<With the sound of scratching, Angel stops the music.>

A : We're not here to have sex, we're here to be honest.
G : Alright! Let's be honest. We're here to have sex! 
    <He puts the music back on>

<Cut back to hotel lobby>

P : Herman, put your left hand in mine. <He does> Now take it out. <He does> 
    Now put your right hand in. Now take it out. Do you know what we're doing?
H : The "Hokey Pokey"?
P : No - we're _connecting_.
H : Oh! D'you know, that was my next guess.
P : I look forward to seeing more of you Herman. <She walks out of shot.>
H : Great!

<Jay walks back into the Lobby.>

H : <To Jay> Hey Jay, Jay. You sometimes pretend to be interested 
    in something just because a women is, right?
J : Hey - I don't waste that two minutes on foreplay just 
    because I like it.  Who's the women?
H : Dr.Holland.
J : Does she smoke?
H : Jay!
J : Wha..what's the problem? Do you like her?
H : Yeah! Yeah. She's sexy as anything. I just don't know if I buy 
    into this self-awareness stuff.
J : Hermo, as your broker I advise to buy and buy heavily.
H : Really?
J : Yeah. Very bullish on Dr.Holland. C'mon, all you've been do is complaining 
    about how freezing and dull your life is. We're in the bahamas. Go for it!

<Jay walks out of shot. Bracken walks into the lobby dressed in shorts, a 
T-shirt and a hat. He looks like he is about to go on a Jungle Safari.>

L : There's mail today? 

<Louise and Heddy stand around grinning at Mr.Bracken. 
Dr.Holland walks in again.>

P : The seminar will be starting in 10 minutes.
H : <going up to Dr.Holland> Oh, Dr.Holland. I've been thinking about the 
    connecting exercise - I was wondering, is there any chance of some 
    one-on-one counselling?  
P : I'd love to, but right now I'm trying to get ready for our first group 
    session. <To all> Why don't you all take off your clothes and I'll meet 
    you in the cabana.
H : You mean some kind of a swimsuit <laughing> therapy?
P : No - no swimsuits. This is a totally nude seminar. <She walks out of shot.>

<long pause while the audience laughs. The 'gang' stand aghast.>

L : Did she say _nude_?!
HD : I am NOT taking my clothes off in front of all of you. And even more 
    disturbing is the prospect of you people taking your clothes off in 
    front of me.
B : No worry! When Mr.Crawford finds out what that women has 
    in mind, _nobody_ will be taking their clothes off.

<The gang laugh agreeingly. after a pause, Crawford walks past completely 
nude, save for a newspaper that he is holding and the pipe in his mouth.>

C : Ah! Gald to see you're all here. Hey, strip down - the seminar's 
    about to start. See ya on the beach. <He walks off.>

<The gang is now outside where the seminar is about to start>

B : If any of you want me, I'll be in the bar. And if I'm not in the 
    bar I'll be drinking in my room, and no matter how rip-roaring drunk
    I get, I won't be taking my clothes off. <He exits shot>
L : I don't think I can do this either, nudity is NOT my thing.

<Dr.Holland walks up to Herman>
P : Herman, a..aren't you going to take your clothes off?

<cut to brain.>

AN : What are we standing around for - a women just asked 
     us to take our clothes off!
W : I'm not taking my clothes off.
AN : To hell with you! <Pushes Wimp off screen and looks toward Genius> 
     Let's go pinhead!
G : Yeah...err.. perhaps another time.
AN : Argh! <Pushes Genius out of shot and goes up to Angel> 
     Angel, _very_ sensitive people take their clothes off.
A : Sensitive people and perverts!
AN : Yeah right - so it's you and me kid!

<cut back to beach>

H : I...I don't think so.
L : <To Dr.Holland> Isn't there way we can achieve our objectives 
     without getting naked?
P : No.
HD : Look doctor, the only time I get naked is when I'm getting 
     a bath, getting a physical or getting a bracelet! 
     <Louise looks at Heddy with suprise.>
P : Well I have to admit I'm quite dissapointed. Especially in you 
    Herman - you seemed so interested in my theories and my work. 
    I thought you and I were making a connection. I guess I was wrong.
    Well, everyone else here will be naked so if you don't mind please
    confine yourselves to your rooms. <She walks out of shot>


L : N..No wait a minute, wait a minute, I'm not going to my room. 
    This is a renouned psychiatrist. She must know what she's 
    talking about. C'mon, it's all in the name of science.. 
    stand back, I'm letting the big guys loose! <She takes her blouse 
    off and throws it to the ground.>
J : Louise! Give me one good reason why I should take my clothes off..

<two naked girls walk past Jay>

J : I said one reason, not four! I'm convinced <Takes his shirt off>
HD : It's going to take more than a quack psychiatrist and four boobs 
     to get me to take my clothes off. In fact, I don't see Crawford 
     anywhere around here so why should I?
C : <Walks past the gang> Well, here we are. <walks past Heddy> Hoppy! 
    Looking forward to seeing ya naked. <walks out of shot>
HD : Coming right up. <She starts to undress>

<cut to brain, Animal is stripping off>

AN : C'mon, let's do it! Everybody else is doing it. What are we waiting for?
A : If everyone was jumping off of a bridge.....
AN : <interrupting> Would you shut up! Look, I got news for ya. We're on 
     a vacation, and I'm having a crisis dammit! So let's have some fun. 
     Let's take the bull by the horns. It's Miller time. If I have one 
     life to live, let me live it as a blond!
G : (What) The hell does that mean?
AN : I dunno - I'm horny, leave me alone.

<cut back to beach>

H : Well, here goes nothing. 
    <He takes his shirt off enthusiastically. Heddy looks at him.>
HD : Boy, you weren't kidding.

<cut to brain. All the 'brain' characters are apparently 
naked and are hiding behind things to cover themselves>

A : Don't look at Louise, we'll embarrass her!
W : Don't look at Heddy, we'll get excited!
G : Don't look at Jay - people'll get the wrong idea!
AN : Then let's look at Dr.Holland - How often to we get a chance 
     to look at a real nude and not pay a cover charge?

<cut back to beach - the gang are walking to their seats holding a variety 
of objects with which to cover themselves. Dr.Holland is standing behind 
a podium and starts the seminar.>

P : Welcome to "Self Awareness for the 90's". Those of you took my seminar 
    "Self Awareness for the 80's" - forget all that. Why don't we..go around 
    the group and introduce ourselves? We'll start over here. <Points to Jay>
J : Oh..ah. Hi. Jay Nichols. Anybody wants Rum or cheap cigarettes - come to 
    room 312 after the seminar.
P : Next.
H : Yeah, Hi. I'm Herman Brooks, and I'm here because I think its time 
    I get in touch with my inner feelings, and emotions...<Jay looks
    at Herman with disbelief>
Dr P.Holland: Very good Herman. <smiles>

<cut to brain..>

A: <to Animal> You don't mean that!
AN: Hey, a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do.
A: But you're lying just to have sex?!
AN: A man's gotta do what a man's gotta do.

<cut back to beach>

P : Louise, you're next.
L : Hi, I'm Louise Fizter - and I'm a co-dependant.
P : Oh! In that case why don't you help me hand out these worksheets? 
    <Louise walks up to Dr.Holland, takes a wad of sheets and starts 
    handing them out.>
P : And you <looks at Heddy>
HD : Hi - I'm Heddy Newman, and how come the guy at the back gets 
     to leave his sweater _on_?

<Herman moves his head over to Heddy>

H : Heddy, he's not wearing a sweater.
HD : Euurrrghhh!  <disgusted>

P : I sense resistance here. I feel it's time to take the first step 
    towards self awareness <she moves from behind the podium and faces
    the gathering of people>.  The first step is a difficult one because
    we all hide behind things.
H : <smiling>  How true..
P : I'm glad you agree Herman. Why don't you be my first volunteer?
H : Excuse me?
P : Herman, stand up.
H : <Laughing nervously> Oohh..Actually I....
P : No excuses - stand up and face everyone.
HD : Well come on Herman, time for show and tell! <laughing>
P : Heddy - you too. Stand up.
HD : Oh, I don't think I can do that...
P : Let's go - both of you.

<Herman and Heddy stand up and walk to the front of the audience.>

HD : Now face each other. Jay, I want you to stand up and face Louise.

<Jay and Louise stand up and face each other>

J : Well, you wanted some insight Louise - you're about to get 
    the blue plate special!
P : Now everyone, expose yourselves.

<Jay, Louise, Herman and Heddy remove the objects 'protecting' themselves 
from each other. They are all looking straight up into the air.>

P : Now look at each other.

<Shot cuts to Jay, who after a short pause moves his eyes to look at Louise, 
still with his head almost pointing vertically upwards. The rest of the gang 
do the same.>

P : No, no no, no. I mean _really_ look at each other <they do> 
    Heddy, tell Herman what you're thinking.
HD : Two words, "Personal Trainer."
P : Herman, say the first thing that comes to your mind.

<cut to brain. All four characters are in a line, 
the camera moves past each one..>

G : Stupidity!
A : Embarrassment <laughing nervously>.
W : Humilation. 
AN : Brrrrriiittzski!!

<cut back to beach. Herman is staring at Heddy. 
He looks like he is in a trance>

P : Herman, what's on your mind?
H : Oh, nothing.

P : <turning to where Jay and Louise are standing> 
    Jay, do you have anything to say to Louise?
L : <running to Dr.Holland> Oh no! Please don't let him say anything to me! 
    Its difficult enough as it is.
P : No, no no. This is not about sex. Its about feelings and emotions. 
    Go ahead Jay. Tell Louise what you're thinking.
J : <pause for thought> Gotta nice little body on ya, you know that Louise? 
L : Really? <nervous laugh> Thanks Jay. And I'd like to say something to say
    to you - I knew you had one but I didn't realise it was _that_ small....
J : Hey, hey! I have a chill, okay?
L : No - I was talking about your appendix scar!
J : Oh...I thought you meant my....
L : Oh! That! _Very_ nice! 

<Jay turns and salutes to the audience. The camera goes back to Dr.Holland>

P : I know this may seem unorthodox to you, but inter-personal relationships 
    are built on all sorts of facades and pretences. Nothing is more revealing 
    or humbling that appearing as we came into this world. I would like you 
    all to think about that. Take a little time to stroll around and feel your 
    nakeness. <she walks out of shot>

<Jay walks slowly and nonchalantly past Heddy. 
She jumps like he just pinched her>

HD : She said _your_ nakedness Jay!

<Mr Bracken enters the shot>

B : Ohh my god!
H : Mr Bracken! <All the gang dive for cover>
B : Nice seeing all of you again, and I do mean _all_ of you.

<Dr.Holland walks up to Bracken>

P : So you've decided to rejoin us?
B : Yes, I have.
P : I know why you're here. You feel alone, isolated, the only one. 
    And now you have a need, don't you?
B : Yes, I do.
P : Maybe I can help.
B : Maybe.
P : Talk to me. Tell me what you're looking for....
B : Ice! <Holds up an empty ice bucket>
P : <irritated> Through the lobby, make a left <she points>

<Bracken walks off, past Herman>

B : <to Herman> She really knows her stuff.
    <Herman nods, and Bracken walks out of shot>

<Dr.Holland approaches Herman>
P : C'mon Herman, we're all going down to the beach for some more exercises. 
    We'll be starting with nude Leapfrog <she runs off>
H : <Shouting> Sounds great! <to himself> Nude Leapfrog?!?!?!

<shot cuts away from the scene and quickly cuts to Herman 
standing on his own. Jay walks up to him..>

J : Hermo! Where ya been?
H : I need some time alone.
J : Yeah - me too. Ya mind if I join you?
H : Ah..Alone, Jay.
J : Yeah - I know. Anyway, we missed you at the nude touch football game. We 
    won - kept giving the ball to the hairy guy - no-one wanted to touch him.
H : _Nude_ football? I just cannot take this stuff seriously.
J : Hey, don't let Dr.Holland hear you say that or you're never going 
    to score. Remember, buyer's market. <Jay slaps Herman lightly and 
    starts to walk off>
H : <to Jay> Where you going?
J : Nude fashion show. I don't know what the hell it is but, how bad could 
    it be? <walks off, nodding to an approaching Dr.Holland as he goes.>
P : There you are Herman, I've been looking all over for you. Are you alright?
H : I...I'm just having a hard time grasping all this self awareness stuff.
P : I..I thought when I was talking, you got it.
H : Well, I didn't get it. Look, Dr.Holland, I'm very attracted to you but the 
    only reason I came down here was, I needed a vacation, OK? And I...wanted 
    to get into your pants, only now you have no pants.
P : <Peeved> You don't believe in my work, do you? 

<cut to brain>

AN : I believe! I believe! Come on you guys. We're naked, she's naked. 
     All we gotta do is believe <looks to viewer/audience> If you believe,
     clap your hands.

<there is raptuous applause. Genius walks up to Animal. 
He is fully dressed and is just putting on some gloves.>

G : Ahhh. Give it up my friend, it's over. Let's just walk away while 
    we still have a _shred_ of dignity. <He looks at Animal with disgust>
    For god's sake, put some clothes on!

<cut back to beach>

H : Look, I don't mind nudity, but I _really_ like having pockets - and when 
    I'm nude, I have no place to keep my gum. Did you see where I had to put 
    my key-ring? Do you think that was comfortable?
P : Once again, you're deflecting analysis with sarcasm.
H : No, no. Now I'm leaving.
P : Herman...
H : <interrupting> No no no it's fine, Dr.Holland. Because I just realised I 
    can't pretend to buy into something I'm not interested in just to impress 
    a woman. And I have absolutely nothing to say to you, with the possible 
    exception of <draws breath> "Brrrriitttssski."

<Herman walks out of shot and the camera is left pointing at a puzzled 
Dr.Holland. The camera cuts to the hotel reception area where Louise is 
standing alone. Herman walks in the door and towards Louise. They don't 
even look at each other.>

L : Hi.
H : Hi. When did you decide to get dressed?
L : Right after someone suggested `Nude limbo.'
H : It feels pretty strange, doesn't it? Being dressed makes me realize 
    how naked we really were.
L : Really? Being naked did that for me. 

<Heddy walks into the room>

HD : Oh my god?
L : Heddy! We're dressed!
HD : I know, it's your outfit Louise!
<Louise goes up to Heddy>

L : Claws in, Heddy. I've had a pretty humiliating weekend.
HD : Good. You're the one that talked us into this.
L : Hey! Don't blame me - it's not my fault you came down 
    here to kiss up to Crawford! 

<The two girls start to argue, but Herman steps between 
them and moves them apart>

H : Alright, alright alright ladies. Whatever our reasons for 
    coming down here we all made a mistake. The point is, we did
    it so with it. I mean so what if we've seen each 
    other naked?
L : You're right Herman. If we learned anything we learned that we're 
    all equal, we're all built the same. In god's eyes, we're all 
    beautiful....except for that one guy! <Heddy, Herman and Louise 
    all look horrified and disgusted>

<Herman notices Jay in the corner looking painful>

H : Jay - You're dressed!?
J : Yeah. I learned something pretty important this weekend.
H : You too?
J : You bet - When you're naked, sunblock 1000.... _everywhere_! <He hobbles 
    past the three people in reception and up to the check-in desk>

L : So where's Mr.Bracken?
HD : Probably still in his room moping.
L : I can't believe he didn't even give it a try - he's the only 
    one with nothing to complain about.
H : Hey, you can't blame him, he's our boss. He's a very conservative man. 
    If we ever saw him naked I'm sure he'd think he could never command 
    our respect again.
J : <hobbling towards the group> I'm not going to say anything bad 
    about the guy, he took two bottles of Rum off my hands.

<Bracken's voice s heard in the background.>

B : Well, it took two bottles of Rum, but I did it!

<Bracken walks into the reception area, naked. On noticing that the 
gang is there he takes off his hat and covers himself, smiling.>


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