Blue Light Productions presents

Blue Light Productions presents:
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|#16 |  | | | |   | |\    |     |   |
|    |  |/ \|  \ /  |  \  |     |   |        FEATURING: Egg Boy and
~~~~~~  ~   ~   ~   ~   ~ ~~~~~ ~~~~                     Crazy Glue
       [The cover is a close up of a silhouette, completely filling the cover. A 
             large question mark is pasted over that and a star bubble asks
                      "WHO IS THE NEW PRESENCE IN NET.ROPOLIS???"]

                         "CROSSING STATES"

Egg Man was the first to encounter Crazy Glue. Which was a little unfortunate as 
he had only just arrived in Net.Ropolis and haven't even had a chance to sign up 
with the LNH (which he was intending to do so at his first available opportunity), 
but crime wasn't allowing him even a small break.
     The first clue that not everything was fine were the hoards of people running 
towards him screaming. Not at him, he noted with some degree of relief, he had 
just arrived and wasn't looking to create a bad impression off the bat. No, they 
were throwing glances over their shoulders and rushing madly in any direction they 
could, as long as it was away.
     Well, he wanted to be a hero, he had special (albeit, admittedly even to him, 
stupid) powers (which still didn't, he knew, immediately disqualify him from 
membership), so it was up to him to square his shoulders and march into battle.
     Or rather, push through the crowd until it thinned, then jog cautiously 
forward. No sense in throwing himself into danger recklessly. He didn't know 
Net.Ropolis at all (see continually made point about only having arrived, and I 
mean he only stepped off the bus on the outskirts of town around twenty minutes 
ago), but he suspected that the jewellers sign was the most likely local of 
criminal activity.
     Two small hints were the two people sticking to the side of the building, one 
whimpering, the other unconscious. They looked to be normal people, just hapless 
victims of the current villain du jour, who was hopefully still inside. Well... 
'hopefully' in the sense of him being in time to help, although if the villain was 
a major powerhouse then hopefully he'd be wrong in his preliminary 'hopefully'.
     This interior expositionary monologue was all very well, but it wasn't 
stopping crime. Egg Man was guessing he wouldn't have time to change into his 
costume (which wasn't anything more than a sweater with an egg on it), so he 
slipped off his pack, opened the top, stood up straight, and walked in announcing 
"Have no fear, Egg Man is here!" (And this is the shout he'd spent a month on! 
Just imagine the ones he'd abandoned.)
     Inside he saw four people, two of them on the ground (again, just normal 
people), one person lying on a counter (the saleswoman, although he wasn't 
entirely sure why she was lying there), and one man in a yellow spandex outfit one 
piece that covered almost all his body, leaving only free his mouth and nose and a 
shock of green hair. White patches covered the eyes, but even he could tell that 
the eyes were widening in shock. Hopefully terror as well, but he wasn't counting 
on it.
     "Egg Man!?" the villain said, then repeated louder. "Egg Man??? EGG??? MAN??? 
Are you kidding me? I have seen some of the best and worst superheroes around, but 
that's..." He paused, drew breath. "Well, I knew this would be coming," he 
muttered to himself, this time causing Egg Man puzzlement. "Let's just get on with 
it." The villain straightened up and turned fully to face Egg Man. "Haha! You'll 
never be able to defeat me! For I am Crazy Glue! And nothing shall stick to me!"
     "Krazy Glue?" repeated Egg Man. "As in...?"
     "No, Crazy Glue. With a C. I'm not having any infringement copyright issues, 
it's bad enough as it is without getting lawyers involved, okay?"
     "Right, right, fair enough. Right then... Crazy Glue! I am here to defeat 
you, you shall not leave the store with those ill-gotten goods!" Egg Man pointed 
dramatically at the necklaces in Crazy Glue's hand.
     Crazy Glue opened his mouth, paused, then said more casually "That's very 
good. I can see you've been thinking about this, but I can't say I've heard of you 
     "Well, thanks. I'm new here (we know, get on with it!), but I've been taking 
a superheroics course extramurally from the Dave Thomas Deluxe University here, 
and am hoping to get into the LNH."
     "Good luck with that, but in the mean time." Crazy Glue repositioned himself 
into a more confrontational pose. "I have no fear of you, Egg Man! What are you 
going to do? Lay an egg?"
     Egg Man grinned (at least, he tried to grin, it was partly a grin, but also a 
grimace. He hadn't been looking forward to the mocking taunts with a name like 
his). "I think you'll find the yolk's on you!" (Just to break in again (a lot of 
editorial asides here (shut up) okay) to say that yes, there'll be egg jokes, and 
glue jokes, but I'm going to try to stick to the story and not end up with egg on 
my face. (Sigh.)) From the backpack an egg rose, on its own accord (or possibly 
attached to wires depending on how much the budget gets through in time), glowed 
red for a moment, then launched itself across the room, striking Crazy Glue on the 
     "Ow! Hey, that hurt!" Crazy Glue grabbed his shoulder. "What the hell?"
     "I control the eggs, I can make them extra hard, or make them a perfect 
eggy." More eggs rose from his pack, three of them that started circling Egg Man's 
head. "Now give up or it will go hard on you!"
     In response, Crazy Glue grabbed some nearby gems and threw them at Egg Man. 
Rather than split up into many objects, they stayed together as one lump, and 
banged into Egg Man's shoulder.
     "You started it!"
     "And now I'm going to end it." Egg Man launched the three eggs at Crazy Glue, 
but Crazy Glue ducked behind the counter he was ransacking. Still the eggs hit the 
glass, but didn't stop, sending shattered glass flying.
     "Be careful, there are innocent people here," Crazy Glue called out. "Then 
give up," Egg Man called out, trying to see behind the counters without putting 
himself in danger of more projectiles.
     "No, you give up," announced Crazy Glue, standing up beside the saleswoman 
who was lying on a cabinet. "Or I glue her nose shut and lips closed."
     Egg Man saw the woman shudder at this, and realised that she was stuck to the 
counter, not just lying on it. "Easy now. You step up to murder, and..." He 
realised there wasn't much he could do.
     "Don't worry. Just back off out the front, and I'll leave out the back, and 
we'll all be happy."
     "And you will have gotten away..."
     Crazy Glue reached for the woman's face. "And she'll live-"
     "Okay, okay. Just... don't, okay. Just don't." Egg Man raised a hand, the 
other holding his pack, and he backed out of the store.
     He stood there for three minutes, watching the storefront, when the 
flight.thingee appeared. Out strode Catalyst Lass, Cheesecake Eater Lad and Master 
Blaster, the latter carrying a large oversized gun on his shoulder. Catalyst Lass 
walked up to Egg Man, although looking at the store rather than him.
     "Don't worry, net.izen, we of the LNH are here to help."
     "Yes, I know, I was-"
     "Please stand back, and let us professionals take charge of the situation. 
We'll soon have that villain routed."
     Master Blaster and Cheesecake Eater Lad were looking over the two people 
stuck to the outside of the building. Master Blaster examined the situation 
through the expedient method of trying to pull the person down, without much luck 
but with tearing of clothes, whereas Cheesecake Eater Lad ran his finger along the 
join of clothing to brick.
     "He's already gone, out the back-"
     "Please, sir," Catalyst Lass continued, "We of the LNH are used situations 
like this, and we'll be the ones to decide if the villain has indeed left the 
scene or is still inside holding hostages."
     "Three more inside, Cat," Cheesecaker Eater Lad reported, peeking inside. 
"None of them are wearing spandex."
     "Well, okay then! Let's go in!"
     Egg Man opened his mouth to try again, but gave up in the face of 
inattention. While the heroes were inside, he carefully extracted his sweater 
outfit, taking care not to destroy the eggs he packed away earlier.
     Donning the sweater, he waited another minute before Catalyst Lass came back 
out, talking on a comm.thingee. "-tomper or Organic Lass might be able to come up 
with a solvent. It acts like some kind of glue, but there's no evidence of any 
actual material. We could cut away the clothes, but where the skin is touching..." 
She shuddered. "It is not nice. Check the files for anyone who could do this, but 
it isn't familiar to me. We could have a new player on the scene-"
     "His name's Crazy Glue."
     "Crazy Glue? ... no, I wasn't talking, there's... um, look into the name 
Crazy Glue, see if we have anything. I'll get back to you in a moment." Now 
Catalyst Lass looked at him. She gave him an appraising glance and asked sweetly 
"And who are you? Egg Man perhaps?"
     Egg Man's eyes opened in surprise. "How did you know?"
     "Huh? You mean you are Egg Man? I just... your sweater... are you some kind 
of hero?"
     "Yes, I took a course, and came here. Only just arrived, and found this," he 
waved at the store. "He called himself Crazy Glue, with a C. He threatened to glue 
the woman's face shut if I didn't back off."
     "That was the right decision," Catalyst Lass affirmed. "We can get back those 
jewels some other time, but a loss of life would be... you did right. Tell me what 
     Egg Man related his story, which didn't take long. "Clearly he slipped out 
the back and got away."
     "Hmm... it's probably a long shot, but we can check to see if there's some of 
trail to follow. Egg Man, you ready for a battlefield promotion?"
     "You mean...?"
     "Stick with me, follow my orders, and if I tell you to stay back, you stay 
back. Otherwise... consider yourself to an LNHer pro-tem."
     "Wow." While Egg Man grinned (genuinely this time), Catalyst Lass ducked into 
the flight.thingee and returned with a scan.thingee. With Egg Man following her, 
she went back into the store.
     "Cheesecake Eater Lad," she ordered, walking through, "Please stay here until 
others arrive, with a solution. Master Blaster, take the flight.thingee and scout 
around. If we find something, you can follow us." Without waiting for a response, 
she exited through the rear and found herself in an alley behind the store.
     Wrinkling her nose at smells, Cat waved the scan.thingee around. Egg Man 
could only look around, hoping for a visual cue, but couldn't see anything 
     "There doesn't seem to be a trace," Catalyst Lass said, lowering the 
scan.thingee. Which made it beep. "Huh?" She pushed some buttons and peered at 
readings. Then contacted Dr. Stomper to find out what the readings meant. "It 
appears that this Crazy Glue isn't in complete control of his abilities. We're 
tracking bonded air molecules that shouldn't be bonded," she explained to Egg Man. 
"However." She waved the scan.thingee around more, getting occasional beeps. "I 
can only detect the particles if I can find them. It's a slow trail to follow."
     "Things are sticking to these molecules?"
     "They're certainly sticking to this," Catalyst Lass replied, getting out a 
light blue handkerchief that matched her outfit and wiping the surface of the 
     "Then let me try something." Egg Man retrieved an egg, and it exploded, 
sending albumen and yolk everywhere... in fine delicate strands, forming a web 
pattern over the alleyway. A web pattern that was marred by a line running through 
the air. A line that matched where Catalyst Lass had been scanning. "There. The 
egg is sticking to the molecules, so we can follow that."
     "That's super!" cheered Catalyst Lass. "Onwards!"
     Several blocks (and a trip to a supermarkette to pick more eggs) later, they 
discovered a door they couldn't open. One that had been glued shut. The door 
itself was part of a now boarded up clothing store.
     "We're here. I guess," said Egg Man.
     "Hmm... if I didn't know better, I'd say that Crazy Glue didn't know where he 
was going. That line double-backed a few times, but not like he was trying to 
elude us. More like he was looking for something..." Catalyst Lass mused.
     "What do we do now?" Egg Man asked, indicating the door.
     "That's something we can deal with." Raising her comm.thingee Catalyst Lass 
     "Okay, Master Blaster. Let's keep this subtle, we don't want Crazy Glue to 
know we're following him."
     Egg Man looked up to see the flight.thingee come over a building and hover 
The side door open and a large gun poked out. Catalyst Lass barely pulled him out 
of the way before a bolt from the gun shattered the door.
     "I said 'subtle'," Catalyst Lass hissed into the mike.
     "The building's still standing, ain't it?" came Master Blaster's reply.
     Catalyst Lass sighed in exasperation. "Come on," she said, leading the way 
     "Should we get one of those guns first?" Egg Man asked.
     "Despite some opinions, guns are not the answer to everything-"
     "I heard that!" came a distant voice.
     "I find that talking to people is enough for us all to get along together." 
Inside the first room was a large display area. A few empty clothes racks, some 
scattered scrapes of clothing and discarded brochures were all that remained.
     "I guess we know why he picked this place," Egg Man said, picked up a flyer.
     "The Glue Store," Catalyst Lass read. "Figures." (Hey, don't look at me. It's 
an actually place! I didn't even know about it until I googled "glue store" a few 
minutes ago!)
     They took a moment to look around carefully. "Nothing here," Catalyst Lass 
"Let's move on."
     "Aaarrhhh!" A yell from the shadows told them the direction, but they could 
glance around briefly before something crashed into Catalyst Lass. Egg Man moved 
to help, but then another something grabbed him and tackled him to the floor. Egg 
Man struggled back, but found his clothes now attached to the floor. "Stay there," 
Crazy Glue hissed, before turning back to Catalyst Lass.
     Catalyst Lass barely managed to extract herself from the coat that was thrown 
over her before Crazy Glue was on her again. "Stay down," Crazy Glue growled, 
grabbing her arms.
     "Why don't we sit down and discuss this?" Catalyst Lass said, struggling. "We 
can talk about our hair," she said, trying to remain sounding perky.
     "Oh, Cat... we already have. So often, in your room together."
     "Huh? Who are..." Unfortunately, this revelation gave her pause, which gave 
Crazy Glue a momentary advantage. He swept Cat's feet out from underneath her, 
then slammed her head onto the floor.
     "Ah!" Cat yelled, then screamed harder when she tried to rise and found her 
head jerked back as her hair stuck to the floor.
     "Shhh, quiet now." Crazy Glue said, putting a finger on her lips, sticking 
them where he touched. "This is the part where-"
     "Leave the lady alone!" An egg into the side of Crazy Glue's head reinforced 
Egg Man's point.
     Crazy Glue looked over, then his eyes widened when he saw Egg Man standing. 
"How the...?"
     "Looks like my eggs can absorb all that glue of yours," Egg Man boasted, 
raising another egg. "So this is the part where you go down."
     "Oh come on! Do you know how likely it is that the one person who can negate 
my glue is the other person that I end up fighting? And you only just got here!"
     "I think we've established that more than enough now," Egg Man replied. 
"Here's egg in your eye!" Crazy Glue didn't manage to duck in time and cried out, 
falling back as the egg went all over his mask.
     "Catalyst Lass, sorry about this," Egg Man said, sending two eggs towards 
her. One splashed on her lips, the other went into her hair. A few gentle tugs 
from Catalyst Lass got her hair free.
     "Ew, I'm definitely going to be washing my hair tonight. But for you, Crazy 
Glue..." As they both looked over to the villain, Catalyst Lass gasped as he 
removed his face mask portion of his costume, removing the green wig at the same 
time. "You! But that's..."
     "That's right, it's me. Woke up this morning with these new powers, and 
decided, what the hey, let's try out the dark side. Best way I could think of to 
try them out. But then I met you," he sneered at Egg Man.
     Egg Man levitated yet more eggs. "No idea who you are, but if you're a 
villain, then we're the heroes to defeat you."
     "So... you were always evil?" Catalyst Lass asked, still trying to get to 
grips with the situation.
     "No, I was never evil. But with this opportunity, how could I not give it a 
     "But... Special Bonding Boy!"
     "Bonding yes, but now glue bonds. So Crazy Glue! Get it? Get it? Ha!"
     "And your voice is deeper," she pointed out. "The glue makes the air thicker, 
changing my voice," Crazy Glue explained. "But we can't stay here swapping 
exposition forever, or you'll come up with some strange idea like how the glue is 
changing the neurons in my brain, blah blah blah. I'm evil now, accept it!"
     Crazy Glue leapt at them and... you know, it'll be nice to say that what 
happened next was an amazing kung fu fight, with lots of fists and dodges and 
moves worthy of Tony Jaa, but... let's face it, Egg Man had no idea, Crazy Glue 
nee Special Bonding Boy never managed to learn from the ninja, and although 
Catalyst Lass does have some skill, she didn't want to get too close in case he 
glued her again.
     Yeah... let's just call it what it is. A stupid, silly slap fight. The kind 
that would have disgusted five year olds...
     "Now, who do I have to shoot to put out of my misery?" growled a new figure, 
still holding a smoking gun.
     At the explosion, the group sprang apart, Crazy Glue back and staring wildly 
around, Egg Man and Catalyst Lass towards Master Blaster. "Master Blaster, stun 
only, that's Special Bonding Boy! Egg Man, hit him with more eggs!"
     "Uh... sorry, Catalyst Lass, I'm out. Master Blaster, do you have a gun that 
shots eggs?"
     "What? I'm going to pretend I never heard that." Master Blaster glared at Egg 
Man until he hung his head and looked away.
     Which meant he saw when Crazy Glue leapt up and stuck to the ceiling. "Hey, 
get back here!" Egg Man shouted.
     "I'll get him," Master Blaster grinned, and started shooting. Blasts shook 
the ceiling, making holes, but not hitting Crazy Glue. "Like a spider monkey... I 
hate spider monkeys!"
     "Stop shooting," Catalyst Lass ordered. "We are not shooting Special Bonding 
     Before Master Blaster could obey, his target was gone, through one of the 
holes he'd shot. "Bah, got away. Special Bonding Boy? What's he doing being a 
villain? Hey, this isn't some kind of test is it?"
     Catalyst Lass bit her lip before replying. "I'd like that to be true, but..." 
Egg Man cocked his head. "Do you guys hear that?"
     Listening carefully, they all heard a creaking, then a groaning... then the 
ceiling, weighted firmer by glue, collapsed on them.
     Silence reigned. And ruled. And controlled. And commanded. And dominated, 
governed, managed, generally led, held sway, maintained an iron fist-
     Bolts of light punctured the debris, followed by Master Blaster hauling 
himself out. "Safety's off! Show me your face so I can blast it off!"
     Crazy Glue failed to obligingly present himself as a target. Master Blaster 
grunted, and set about freeing the other two.
     While Egg Man poked himself to see what hurt the most, Catalyst Lass stared 
into the distance. "Special Bonding Boy was one of out best. And now he's turned." 
She turned and smiled sweetly at Egg Man. "But we also have a new member of the 
LNH. Crazy Glue's out there, and we'll find him. Come on, let's be heroes!"


NOTES: No characters used with permission, although I don't think any of them need 
particular permission. (Then again, this is already an Elsewhirl, which explains 
any bad characterisation. Yeah, that's it...).
     The main reason it's an Elsewhirl, of course, is because of what I do to 
Special Bonding Boy. But if people really want it to be mainstream...
     As for the story itself, I thought of various "heroes coming to town" ideas, 
but nothing really grabbed me (although I get to have my cake and eat it too with 
Egg Man). But then I thought "what if a villain ‘immigrate' into being a hero?" 
Yeah... but that's been done (Tsar Chasm and Acton Lord in the LNHiverse, let 
alone other comics). So hero to villain, which has also been done before, but 
typically the revelation is "I've been a villain all this time!" Since this is 
supposed to be about new arrivals, that gave me something else to focus on.
     Could this be better? Easily. But this is better than my previous entries 
into the contest!
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