Blue Light Productions presents

  Well, it's been a week, and nobody has taken up the challenge of adding
bits onto this yet (although Tom is doing a good job of adding to what
happens after it. At least, I hope that's where it falls in continuity...
I mean, it is labelled `The Return of Cheesecake-Eater Lad'... Never  
mind, I'm rambling... ).
  But this doesn't mean I'll give up! Nonono! It just means I'll have to
  You see, unlike Abhay's _Refugees_ #17, this LNH title isn't trying to
suppress you.
  It's trying to CO-OPT YOU!
  Bwahahahahahahaha!!!!! Yes, I'm trying to seduce you into writing in
the LNH Looniverse, and then once you've dabbled in this illicit writing
universe we LNH writers will have a hold over you with blackmail 
material, and we'll come around to your house and kidnap you and take
you away to a dungeon where we'll chain you to a computer terminal and
force you to write LNH stories!
  Or maybe we'll just get one of those Mad Scientists types from LOMSOGG
(the League of Mad Scientists Out to Get Gumprich) to use their Dry-
Cleaning Brainwash-atronic widgets on you.
  The details are negotiable, but the end result will be the same...

With only moderate embarrassment Blue Light Productions presents:

The Death Of Cheesecake-Eater Lad #3
"More Plot Exposition" 

Written by and copyright 1997 Saxon Brenton (who is clearly cracking up 
  under the pressure of LNH story withdrawal)
Art by whichever starving comic book artist is desperate enough to take
on the chores for this one. Heck, we'll even accept L**feld!

  The scene: 
Five people are standing around, expositing dialogue.
  "Why did you pause dramatically like that?" Cheesecake-Eater Lad (of
the Legion of Net.Heroes) asked Retcon Lad (also of the Legion of
  "My Writer was hoping someone else would just in and explain what the
threat was. Since nobody did, he has to do it himself. Mind you, I'm not
so sure he didn't wait so long out of laziness."
  Cheesecake-Eater Lad considered this, then set it aide. "Okay then, so
if it isn't the LNH Extermination Squad, what _is_ the problem?" he
asked, perhaps a tad irritably. Being blown up by radioactive cheesecake
can do that to you, you know. 
  "Better let the Ending of Rodents field that one."
  C-ELad looked at the Ending of Rodents. "Squeak," she said.
  "Can I have a translation for that, please?"
  "Sure," said Ending of the Finishless. "Somebody plans to take over

  Ah yes, Net.Hell. The infernal, torturous state of having only a 300
byte modem, incoming only (although there are more... traditional
punishments for the diehards).
  And what should be made perfectly clear is that it is NOT, in ANY way,
connected with Hell(tm). You got that? Yes, I know Dvandom Force keep
saying `Hell(tm)' even though the crossover with Team M.E.C.H.A. is over.
Personally I suspect that when Jack signed onto the Hell(tm) Satan T. 
Lucifer Jones got a handle on Dave (although I'm prepared to consider
arguments that RoboTech Master may have built some protection against
just that problem into the Dvandroid body... Hmmm... Perhaps a 
PlotDevicium weave in the chicken suit...?)
  "Will you stop babbling and get ON WITH IT!?" demanded Retcon Lad,
  "What is wrong with him?" Cannon Fodder whispered.
  "Oh, he's been in a state of paranoia that Hell(tm) was trying to     
muscle in on Net.Hell ever since the start of the Grand Tour," RLad said,
irritated. "It got worse when _Crazy Guy_ #12 came out, and Jones said he
had interdimensional patents pending. I mean, Dvandom _told_ him it was
only meant to cover the SuperGuy Altiverse, but the silly twit didn't
believe him. It's embarrassing, really. It's like having a relative who's
starting to dribble, or something."
  "Shhh. I think he's about to continue."
  Lessee, where was I? Oh yeah. Net.Hell. 
  Behold: at the centre of squats Dir.z, the infernal
city, 'pon the summit of which sits the throne of the Alt.versary himself.
  But it is not the broodings of that infernal eminence that is of   
interest to us. There are other powerful entities within the Bounds 
Abominable; arch-devils like Net.istophelese, As.modem.ous,,
Bel.dial, and Bel.gzip.bub the Lord of the Files. It is the latter of
this group to which our attention is drawn.
  Bel.gzip.bub was conferring with one of his fellows. There was nothing
particularly surprising in this, nor in the fact that it was on the topic
of Net.Hell's current political power structure; backbiting and intrigue
were almost always the order of the day.
  His appearance, though humanoid, was carrion-like. About him was a halo
of files; small buzzing things with which he could bring up various     
functions and links with but a thought. His companion, Net.istophelese,  
was quite a contrast; neatly - even dapperly - dressed somber attire,    
this small graceful entity looked almost feline.
  "I fail to see what could possibly concern you," admitted
Net.istophelese with brutal candour. And this, for once, was the truth.  
Only the exquisite airs and graces that Net.istophelese gave himself
prevented him from examining his manicure in boredom. "Nothing ever
_really_ changes in Net.Hell. It's practically one of the tenets of the
  "Change comez to all thingz," Bel.gzip.bub countered. "Zometimez more
ztrongly than by reshuffling the chairz. We should take note, and be
prepared to uze it to our bezt advantage."
  "Another uprising? Another coalition? Another war to shift a single
barony from one power block to another? How tiresome."
  Bel.gzip.bub gave a sharp look at the other. There were times when he
grew tired of Net.istophelese's affectation of cat-like indifference and
calm. He knew that Net.istophelese had claws; it was just a matter of   
giving him a damn good prod to get him to unsheathe them. "Not zo. You   
should pay more attenzion to the comic book eventz in the real World."  
  Net.istophelese looked amused. "Because outright plot theft means they
affect the Looniverse as well? Tut tut. Look at poor Neverwon's attempt  
to build a power-base." [`Underwear Unleashed' in _Tales Of The LNH_    
#336-337 - Footnote Girl]
  Bel.gzip.bub tried a slightly different tack. "It'z true that the      
illusion of change doez not mean change itzelf."
  "Then what?"
  "The GodNetWave is coming."
  Net.istophelese paused at this. There were layers of implications that
needed to be plumbed. Carefully he said, "The Writers are conservative.
They will not abandon structures of myth that spring so closely from   
their collective religious beliefs."
  Bel.gzip.bub nodded in a way meant to convey only a little bit of    
reassurance. "Of courze, of courze. Net.Hell will remain, there iz no
doubt about that." Then he tightened the screws a bit. "But even the
illuzion of change can replace the parts without affecting the ztructure
of the whole. If there are thoze in the hierarchy that are weakened,
might they not be replazed?" He leaned close and stage-whispered. "Iz  
your power-base _that_ zecure?" He gave the other an arch look, then    
departed. Only afterwards did he allow himself a wicked grin.

Character Credits:
  Retcon Lad and Footnote Girl created by Saxon Brenton.
  Cannon Fodder and Cheesceake-Eater Lad are Public Domain, I think.    
  Everybody else appearing here created by Saxon Brenton, and definately
are Public Domain. Everybody else mentioned but not appearing hopefully  
belong to thmselves.
All characters copyright 1997 their owners or creators.
  The attack on Net.Hell (actually, just Hell) was part of a suggestion
made by Tom Russell. And, if nobody else adds anything to this to explain
what's ging on, I guess I'll just have to use his suggestion on who the
master villain should be too.

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