Death of Cheesecake-Eater Lad #2 Well, if everybody's (most people? lots of people? a few people?) is getting all nostalgic for the 'good old days' of anarchic, comaraderie-inspiring add-on stories, for Wombat's sake let's _do_ something about it. This looks like as good a tool as anything... On Thu Jul 31 15:23:20 1997 Tom RussellBack to the Index.
wrote: ---------- I was told that I should respect public domain characters as public domain. I was told to kill off Cheesecake Eater Lad and see what happens. Then I was told it was a joke and I shouldn't do this. I'm not listening.... Cheesecake Eater Lad had finally finished his radioactive Cheesecake, which was Microwave ready. He put it in. He pushed the button. The Microwave blew up. He was impaled by a peice of shrapnel. He died. The end. And you said my stories were too short. ---------- And then at Thu Jul 31 15:23:30 1997 Tom added: Cheesecake Eater Lad was dead. He got better. Nobody threatened me for killing off Cheesecake Eater Lad. The End. ---------- And this is the story of what happened in between: Cheesecake-Eater Lad came to, with a _very_ nasty headache. Why he had a headache he wasn't quite sure, since he was pretty darn certain that the exploding piece of microwave oven had impaled him through the chest, rather than through the cranium. "Hey, C-EL. You alright?" he heard a vaguely familiar voice ask. Cheesecake-Eater Lad blinked and tried to focus on the figures that were standing in front of him. "Who? Wha?" "I think he's in a bit of shock," Cannon Fodder said kindly. "It tends to affect people that way, the first time it happens." Retcon Lad nodded. "Yeah. Here, let me give you a hand up," he said to the cheesecake maker extraordinaire. "Uh, thanks guys," C-ELad said weakly, getting his wind back. "Uhm, say, what's going on?" "Oh, you're dead," said RL casually. C-ELad gave him a look that said he suspected Retcon Lad had lost it completely. "No, really!" said Retcon Lad. "Just ask her," he used his thumb to indicate a young woman dressed in black. Cheesecake-Eater Lad boggled. You know, when your eyes pop out and a little hooter makes an 'a-ooga-a' sound effect? Yeah, like that. Admittedly he wasn't an anime character, or even just a plain old cartoon character, so it was a bit of rough going, but still, he managed it. The young women - who wore an omega on a cord around her neck - smiled politely. She was used to this sort of thing. "Hi," she said, sticking out her hand to shake. "I'm Ending of the Finishless, the version of Death specific to the Looniverse. And, yeah, what RL here says is right. You're dead." "But... I've still got so much to live for..." he began. "Oh GEEZ! Sorry man!" exclaimed Retcon Lad. "I should have made it clear. You're not, like, _permanently_ dead, or anything like that. You just got hit by a bit of, you know, random comedy. You'll get over it." "You'll be fine in a while," agreed Cannon Fodder. "Trust us on this. We've had lots of practice." "Squeak," added a voice from down around ground level. Cheesecake-Eater Lad looked down. There was a rat down there. A rather comely looking female rat, to be precise, although as a human C-ELad wasn't really in a position to be able to tell this. "Pardon?" C-ELad asked. "This is the Ending of Rodents," Cannon Fodder introduced. Ending took over the translating. "She says that since you're a Public Domain character, it's unlikely that anyone would be silly enough to kill you off. Permanently, anyway." The Ending of Rodents nodded, twitching her whiskers. "Uh, right," said C-ELad. "So, uhm, how long is this going to take?" "Hopefully not too long," Cannon Fodder said. "There's some problems going, and as the title character I'm afraid it'll be up to you to help fix them." "I'm the title character?" "Yeah, sure," said RL. "Look, see, up there in the subject line. `The Death of Cheesecake-Eater Lad'. Nifty title. Full of drama, that title is." This was coming all as a bit of a rush to Cheesecake-Eater Lad, but he was a member of the RACC renowned Legion of Net.Heroes, and so he rallied to the cause. "Okay then. So what are you two doing here then." Retcon Lad looked a bit disgruntled. "We were shot." "You were?" "We were," confirmed Cannon Fodder. "They were," said Ending. "Squeak." said the Ending of Rodents. "Who by?" Cannon Fodder paused for drama. "A nut-case belonging to the LNH Extermination Squad." Cheesecake-Eater Lad's eyes widened. "And that's the threat that has to be dealt with?" Retcon Lad shook his head. "No, that's a throwaway line to make fun of a flamewar currently taking place on RACC. The problem we're facing is something different." To be continued? ----- Okay, apologies to Tom if this isn't quite what he had in mind when he sent off those two posts. However, hopefully it _will_ show him people are reading his stuff, and perhaps more importantly we can have some _fun_. Which is what the LNH is all about, right? Character Credits: Retcon Lad created by Saxon Brenton. Free for public use in this thread, as long as he doesn't suffer any permanent trauma. Cheesecake-Eater Lad, Cannon Fodder, Ending, and the Ending of Rodents are all Public Domain.