Blue Light Productions presents

L U R K E R  L A D
"Kiddie Comics!" 
Part 1 of the DAYCARE AGENDA!
By Ben Rawluk

[Cover - The entire cover is taken up by what looks like a playpen, in
which four toddlers play. The four appear to be wearing small versions of
the costumes of Johnny Stomper, Captain Napalm, Nomex Man, and, of course,
Lurker Lad. The 'DAYCARE AGENDA' logo is beside the main logo.]

					---2:00 am---

	In the area of Net.ropolis where both crime rate and property
values are low (Yet, fairly close to the Central Business District, which
throws the Bid-Rent Theory out the window), stands a building which is
seen by citizens and villains alike as the pinnacle of heroism; LNHQ, the
home of the Legion of Net.Heroes. It is an immense structure, the very
substance of which is tinged by its position on one of the most coherent
nexi of realities. The world's greatest heroes hang-out in the hallowed
Halls of Herodom:  aLLiterative Lass (of course), Ultimate Ninja, Kid
Anarky, Kid Kirby, and many, many more. 
	It was the wee hours of the morning. The cafeteria was virtually
empty;  even the single window, looking out on the grand LNHQ garden, was
rendered opaque by unique pseudo-science that made curtains obsolete. The
lights had long since been shut off, except for a gimmicked up desk-lamp
on one of the many tables. At that table, were the sole inhabitants of the
cafeteria at that late out: One was garbed in red-and-gold tights, with a
half-cowl and flame-logo, and the other in green coveralls, a half-cowl
and another flame-logo, only this time with a slash through it. They were
sitting there, the one in red-and-yellow glowing from minute flames, and
played cards. Two plates, with quickly prepared lumps of Cheesecake-Eater
Lad's roasted chestnut cheesecake on them, sat beside the two net.heroes
as they went through their round of gin rummy. 
	"I say, Brother Napalm," The net.hero in coveralls looked up from
his cards, "Pleasantly quiet, isn't it?" 
	"Oh, I quite agree, Brother Nomex," The other net.hero, nodded,
"Without the hustle and bustle going on in here. Quiet enjoyable, isn't
it, Brother Nomex?" 
	"Yes indeedy-do, Brother Napalm." 
	The two paused in their leisurely game, as a shimmer formed in the
air a few steps away from their table. The shimmer quickly escalated into
a blurred, vaguely humanoid form. And then, without warning, the blur
finished its de-lurking, and Lurker Lad stood before the two.
	"Hello, Captain Napalm....Nomex Man. I didn't think anyone else
would be here this late...just in for a midnight snack." Lurker Lad
motioned towards the plate of chestnut cheescake he held in his hands. 
	"Oh, do join us, Lurker Lad." Nomex Man smiled, winningly. 
	"Yes, do." Captain Napalm also smiled, equally nauseatingly. 
	Lurker Lad plopped down onto a seat beside Nomex Man, and began to
eat.  "Playing *mmph* cards *chomp*?" 
	"Oh, muchly. Brother Nomex is winning, actually." 
	"I have to disagree there, Brother Napalm. I do believe *you* are
winning."  The two looked at each other for a moment, before breaking out
in laughter.  Lurker Lad looked on, utterly confused by the two
net.heroes' conversational skills. 
	But, before Lurker Lad could say a word, the room was filled with
a bizarre light. At first, Lurker Lad was sure the ghost woman was back [*
See _Lurker Lad_ #4 for details - Footnote Girl], but than realized that
the light was achromatic...completely grey. After the initial dose of grey
light, the three strained to look at the source of the brightness. 
	"Great Scott, Brother Nomex!" 
	"Gadzooks, Brother Napalm!" 
	"It''s...a man?!" Lurker Lad exclaimed, as he adjusted to
looking into the grey energy. 
	It was indeed what appeared to be a man. He was tall, middle-aged,
with a thin moustache and short hair. He appeared to be wearing a labcoat.
However, the colours were all concealed...the form was completely --skin
and clothing alike-- grey! After a moment, the man opened his mouth. "Ah,"
Lurker Lad winced, as the the voice echoed through the near-empty
cafeteria, "Three little net.heroes...tensing for battle, all in a row." 
	"Who are you?" Lurker Lad demanded. Beside him, Captain Napalm
concentrated, and emitted a blast of flame at the grey being. The flames
went straight through. 
	"I am called Professor Edward Vil," The figure answered, not even
seeming to notice as the flames passed through, "Or rather, you are
talking to an image of me. An image, mind you, produced by a long-range
Greyscale Holo-Projector of my own design." 
	"Diabolical, wouldn't you agree, Brother Napalm?" 
	"Oh, very much so, Brother Nomex." 
	"Quiet!" Lurker Lad motioned to the two, who fell silent, and he
stepped forward. "What do you want, Vil?" 
	"Oh, I simply am issuing a challenge, of sorts...I wish several
LNHers to come and fight that I might prove my power. I trust,
naturally, that your security system will log this signal and its origin
point. I assume you can provide your own transportation." 
	"Um..that's....well..." Lurker Lad looked confused, struggling the
right way to put this into words. But, it was too late, for the greyscale
image vanished in an instant. "Um..okay." 

					---8:00 am---

	"Luckily, our security scans picked up the signal." Doctor Stomper
glanced up from a security print out. He stood in front of the main
transport console of the Transmat chamber; Off to his left, his nephew,
Johnny, was busy working on calibrating the controls. To his right,
Captain Napalm and Nomex Man stood up straight, and Lurker Lad stood in
front of the Explainer Supreme. "Johnny and I have been working for half
an hour on the readouts, and I believe we can calibrate the transmat
platform to transmat you, and Johnny," He motioned towards his nephew, "To
Vil's base of operations.  Johnny can take some scanning and investigation
equipment, while you three deal with Vil and his challenge." 
	"Is this such a good idea, Doc?" Lurker Lad asked. "It's obviously
a trap." 
	"I think, Aaron," Johnny looked up from the console, "That we'll
be fine. I can always activate the remote transmat device, and pull us
back here, if trouble shows up." 
	"The problem is, it usually does." Lurker Lad muttered, as the
four net.heroes stepped onto the platform. Doc Stomper tapped the
controls, and in an instant, a familiar tingling filled Lurker Lad's head
as his molecules were transmuted into various energy pattern lattices, and
spread across infinity to be reassembled...elsewhere. 

					---8:05 am---

	High atop the roof of LNHQ, amidst the hangar bay doors, sensor
equipment, satellite dishes and other paraphernalia, stood the tall,
mysterious figure called 'Ultra'. Mere days before, when Lurker Lad and
several other LNHers had been sent to another looniverse to fight a threat
to reality, he stood with them, claiming to be cousin to Lurker Lad [* See
_Lurker Lad_ #5-6, and _Limp-Asparagus Lad_ #34 - Footnote Girl]. Garbed
in a decidedly Kirbian costume, with bits of old technology added on here
and there, the LNHers had been baffled. And, as Ultra gazed carefully into
the sky, at the great, nuclear inferno called the Sun. "Fascinating." 
	"Most decidedly so." A rich, mighty voice said from behind Ultra,
who swirled around to face the speaker. "You are Ultra, correct?" 
	"Kid Kirby," Ultra's eyes widened, with the awe given to a demigod
by a true, full-blooded god, "I have long wished to meet you." 
	"Interesting," Kid Kirby, behind the Kirbian armour which
protected his true shape and pure power, carefully examined the strange,
cosmic being, "You're manner, and to a certain degree costume, reflects a
most Kirbian lifestyle. Perhaps you are the result of some cult born to
worship the Power Kirby?" 
	"No. I am an Avatar of....the Source Code!" Ultra rose a few
inches into the air. "Once, I was a mortal....Stephen
astronaut," His aura of Transcosmic energies flared, "My spaceship was
obliterated by malfunction, I was trapped in airless space..and the Source Code itself. I was given a pipeline to it and its
infinite energy...and thus, was transformed.  I am similar to yourself
because the Source Code and Power Kirby are, in certain ways, linked." 
	"Interesting." Kid Kirby considered, "What power have you gained?" 
	"Allow me to demonstrate, Kid Kirby, the power begat to me from
that transformation. Besides the more simpler applications of Transcosmic
energies, I have another ability...perhaps you have some miniscule piece
of KirbyTech, low on power?" 
	"Yes." Kid Kirby brought out a palm-sized piece of KirbyTech, with
a very low hum and seemingly no usage instructions. "This is a
Gammazarnotronic Megapulsar Coil. It has almost exceeded its alloted
Kirbian energy, and will in soon vanish from this dimension to the
	Ultra took the device. "Interesting. But it will not vanish so
fast."  Ultra's hand, the one which held the device, seemed to glow more
brightly than before, all manner of forces erupting from it into the
device. The device came to life, and emitted a force-field around him.
"You see, while I can not create or construct this KirbyTech of yours, I
can empower and use it."

					---8:10 am---

	The laboratory into which the four LNHers materialised was indeed
vast.  Complex mechanisms and technologies spread out as far as the eye
could see (And well beyond Legally-Blind Man's range), and energy surged
through the air from cathode ray tubes. There was little light, except for
what would be provided by the few, low-hanging overhead lamps which dimly
glowed, much of their electricity going into operating the mysterious
electronics which surrounded our heroes. Lurker Lad squinted, trying to
see as much as he could. However, his viewing was cut short when he
focused in on one thing. 
	"Vil." He mumbled. 
	Edward Vil stood before the group, with brownish hair, white at
the temples, the moustache, labcoat, and everything else, only in living
colour.  And, one other thing; a large head. Johnny groaned, behind the
three other net.heroes. "Not another 'future man' super-brain!" 
	"I would suggest being quiet, fool." Vil sneered. "I see you were
not cowards, and came. Good, I do so love it when I get to out-think some
poor sod of a net.hero."
	"I wouldn't count your eggs before they're hatched, Vil." Lurker
Lad grinned. All four net.heroes tensed for battle. "Why -are- you doing
	"Oh, its simple, really." Vil grinned. "There is a certain mark of
fame in the villain community for obliterating a group of
net.heroes...and, I want to be famous. Removing four youthful superbeings,
such as yourselves, from the face of the Earth would certainly get me at
least five minutes of Hard Disk Copy." 
	"That's diabolical!" Johnny yelled, from the back of the foursome. 
	Lurker Lad stroked his chin. "Interesting...It's been a while
since I've encountered a villain who just wants a bit of the
limelight...not power, or money..." 
	"Shall we?" Nomex Man motioned towards the villain. 
	"Let's!" Captain Napalm grinned, and emitted a blast of flame at
the villain... 
	Only to have the flame hit a mysterious, invisible barrier.
"Force-Fields.  One of my earliest playthings. Don't you love them?" Vil
grinned an repugnant smile. A moment later, Vil pulled a large device,
sort of like a bulky, metal clipboard, from his labcoat. "Now then, I
shall defeat you." 
	Lurker Lad tensed. 
	Nomex Man tensed. 
	Captain Napalm tensed. 
	Johnny Stomper tensed. 
	Vil relaxed. "Now then. This device," He motioned towards the
clipboard, "Is my masterpiece...the Transformation Augmentation
Synchronization Equalization Recombinator (T.A.S.E.R. for short)! It will
allow me to transform you into whatever I should desire. Let's see...shall
I reverse your gender? Make you fuzzy, anthromorphic animals? Turn you
into coconuts?  Maybe make you all into talking asparagus-people, so you
can take over Limp-Asparagus Lad's series? No...I have the perfect idea!" 
	"Uh-oh!" Johnny started to move, and tapped the recall button on
the transmat.thingee in his hands. There was a click and a whirr, but
there was no energy shift. "Damn! Of all the times for it to lag out!" 
	"Oh, how the mighty have fallen!" Vil tapped a key on the
clipboard, which glowed...a stream of energy flowing out of it, all over
the four LNHers. 
	And, a second later, the transmat.thingee kicked in! 

					---8:15 am---

	Four super-powered youths stood around a large, cubic block of
metal and circuitry, a bizarre amalgamation of technologies. The group was
something of a motely group; The most stylish of the two males was garbed
in a black-and-white spandex costume, while the other male was in purple
and orange, with 'ACLNH' written on the front of the costume, and 'RACC'
written on the back. There was a flaming woman, and the last member of the
group was a young woman in green spandex, with a red skirt. "What is it?"
The orange-and-purple costumed man asked. 
	"How are we supposed to know, Dickwad? This is your authordamned
apartment, you freak!" The woman on fire flamed.
	"Ssh, Shayla." The black-and-white garbed man, Darwin, muttered.
"Scott, do you normally have pseudoscientific equipment popping up in your
living room?" 
	"Not as such." Scott suddenly smiled broadly. "But you know what
this means, don't you?!" 
	"This is only the start of our wacky adventures as the Legion of
Rejected Net.Heroes[* See _Legion of Rejected Net.Heroes_ #1 - Footnote
Girl]?" The last woman offered. 
	"No, Edna!" Scott raised his arms dramatically. "This only happens
to -real- net.hero teams! This mean's we're for real!" 
	"Author, I hope so. Its too early in the morning to be
existential, Hyperactive-Ego Lad." Shayla crossed her arms. 
	"That's 'Cross-Posting' Lad, Shayla." Scott cleared his throat.
"But good effort!" Shayla said nothing, but Scott's costume was quickly
	The only one to notice was Edna, while the others were fighting
over the singed costume, as the bizarre machine vented a burst of
transchronal energy particles. 
					---8:30 am---

	"Did we make it?" Lurker Lad asked, as the transmat effect faded.
"That was awfully short for a villain encounter!" He suddenly realized
something was different...his voice was higher. And he'd never remembered
seeing the Transmat Chamber from this close to the ground. He realized,
and instant later, that he, as well as the others, had been transformed
physically, into 3-year-olds.
	"Oh my!" Captain Napalm exclaimed. 
	"Indeed!" Nomex Man gasped. 
	"Oy..." Johnny eeped. An instant later, there was a 4-person,
group fainting spell. Doctor Stomper looked down at the four, toddler
	"Oh my writer.." He struggled at activate his com.thingee.
"Organic Lass...we have a medical emergency...I think..." 

					---8:35 am---

	The infirmary wasn't particularly busy; Organic Lass had
established a forcefield over the doorway so that none of the latest
recruits could come running in after Cannon Fodder was next disintegrated.
So, only Organic Lass, Doc Stomper, and the four diminutive LNHer, who
were on med-beds. 
	"This is bizarre," Organic Lass glanced down at a datapad she held
in her hands, which had readouts on the four, "The four of them have been
reduced to near infancy. The initial scan showed some kind of genetic
reorganisation...but a secondary, full-range scan shows that their bodies
are being held in some kind of state of quantum flux...permeated with a
mixture of retconic and chronal energies." 
	"Obviously, this effect was produced by a sort of
suspension/physical de-evolution of their physical form by this bizarre
energy mix. Vil's device must have been a transchronal projector." 
	Little Lurker Lad's tiny form relaxed on of the med-beds, sitting
crosslegged like a little preschooler. "This is rather badly-timed." He
mumbled. "Was some sort of Bad-Timing Boy involved?" 
	"Oh, You are tho right! Isn't he tho right, Brother Nometh?"
Little Captain Napalm chimed in. 
	"I mutht agreed there, Brother Napalm." Little Nomex Man
	"Can you do anything, Uncle?" Little Johnny Stomper, who looked
the youngest, asked, laying on another med-bed. 
	"Possibly. We'd have to siphon off the energy with some
KirbyTech...then we'd have to dissipate it...perhaps then, the effect will
fade. Do your powers still function." 
	"Yeth." Little Nomex Man nodded. 
	"They do thtill work." Little Captain Napalm mumbled, and made his
tiny hand into a fist. Tiny flames erupted from his hand. 
	"Phbbt." Little Lurker Lad mumbled, and got off the
med-bed...falling to the ground, having forgotten about his altered size. 

					---9:00 am---

	"Maybe the effect is only temporary?" Cheesecake-Eater Lad
offered, as he bent over and handed a piece of cheesecake to the toddler
Lurker Lad. "After all, nothing is permanent in comics...or netfic, for
that matter. Just lookit how long the 'new Batman' thingee lasted." 
	"Phbbt." Lurker mumbled, waddling over to a table and pulling
himself up onto it. "At least, if we'd been transmogrified into
asparagus-people, we could have gotten a crossover out of it..." 
	"I'd advise against that," Cheesecake-Eater Lad moved towards
Lurker Lad's table, where our hero was busy staring at the edge of the
table, unable to reach beyond it, "You just had a crossover with
Limp-Asparagus Lad." He noticed LL's troubles. "Do you need a high chair?" 
	Cheesecake-Eater Lad never ran so fast in his life. 

					---9:30 am---

	"Um, guys...guys!" Edna stood, tapping Darwin's shoulder. "The
machine is...doing something..." Her attempts fell on deaf ears, while her
teammates vented at each other. "Uh-Oh..." Another burst of chronal
energies erupted from the machine's bizarre pseudo-scientific core. 
	"Huh?" Darwin finally noticed Edna. "Something wrong?" 
	"That!" Edna screamed, as the device emitted another burst...and
she vanished from view, hurtled through time itself! 
	"Oh no!" Scott yelped, as Edna's form vanished. "Copy Queen!" 

Next Issue: Where has Copy Queen been sent? What manner of machine was it
that sent her away? Where did it come from? Will Lurker Lad, Captain Napalm,
Nomex Man, and Johnny Stomper return to their own ages? What will Ultra do
now? Can he or Kid Kirby help? Be here for the next installment of THE
DAYCARE AGENDA, in _Lurker Lad_ #8!


Lurker Lad, Copy Queen, Cross-Posting Lad, Flaming Lass, Kid Lurker, Ultra
and Edward Vil are owned by me.
Captain Napalm and Nomex Man are owned by Jeff McCoskey.
Kid Kirby is owned by Jameel.
Johnny Somper is owned by Josh Geurink.
Organic Lass is owned by Rebecca Drayer.
Cheesecake-Eater Lad and Doctor Stomper are Public Domain.
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