_Etc. House News And Notes_, posted 28th October 1996, signed off with: Aaron, just realized that the LNH doesn't stick out their tongues enough. Well, we can't have _that_, now can we? :-) Blue Light Productions presents: Limp-Asparagus Lad #33 Be Vewy Vewy Quiet. I'm Hunting Alt.stralians. Written by and copyright 1996 Saxon Brenton Guest Art by S*rgio Ar*gones --------------------------------------------------------------------- Cover shows Subplot Lad standing in the foreground, with List Lad asking, "So. Is this the Century Pact tie-in, or the lead up to Crisis on Looniearth-B?", to which the bemused Subplot Lad goes, "Uh, well..." In the background are a number of people. These include Writers Block Woman and Lipid-Artery Lad glaring and poking their tongues at each other, each holding a can. WBW's is labelled 'Beetroot', while Lipid's says 'Red Beets'. Retcon Lad and Harris are casting worried looks at the Net.Elementalist. PC Person and Limp-Asparagus Lad cast suspicious looks at a group of political rabble rousers who are proclaiming, "We will save the world!". A man who looks like Doctor Stomper stands, pointing in exasperation to a gigantic white silhouette with humanoid form that looms over them all. The Stomper look-alike cries, "But how can you save the world when the Exponential Man's going to destroy us all? A discrete 'Century Pact: Phase 1' logo graces the bottom left corner, while a 'Crisis On Looniearth-B' logo sits at bottom right. The 'Blue Light Productions' logo sits at top left, with the 'Limp-Asparagus Lad' logo beside it on top centre. --------------------------------------------------------------------- [Continuity Note: This story actually takes place in continuity at about the time it's posted, roughly late October 1996. Scary. Furthermore, it also takes place at some point after _Writers Block Woman (and Co)_ #30, immediately after _Alt.Riders_ #3, more or less in parallel with the events on _Dvandom Force_ #73+, and concurrently with _Net.Titans_ #39. Problems with continuity that arise from this juxtaposition will be blamed on either Totally Stuffed Up Continuity Lad, or Easily Discovered Man Lite :-P - Footnote Girl] Writers Block Woman picked up her cup of tea, took a sip, and paged forward the text on the computer screen she was perusing. She was reading through back issues of the Legion of Net.Heroes' archives. Very specific issues. This was not a recreational exercise. Opening splashpage: Writers Block Woman sitting at a computer terminal. She puts down her cup and peers intently at the screen. The title of the story is repeated in her word balloon as she mutters to herself, "Be Vewy Vewy Quiet. I'm Hunting Alt.stralians." The next page starts with a shot of WBW, chin cradled in her left hand reading thoughtfully. She was currently combing though the collected works of Limp-Asparagus Lad's Writer (which, mercifully, was not particularly large at the moment). This was because she was still worried about Cultural Cringe Boy. It had occurred to her that perhaps that sneaky Writer had dropped clues as to the identity of the threatened arrival of CCB. That idea had set her off on a new path in her search to unmask and deal with this horrid threat. Hmm, strange how a supposed omniscient like the Drizzt had not been able to tell her anything about him. [_Writers Block Woman (and Mouse)_ #23 - Footnote Girl] Perhaps she should have induced Mouse to include the Drizzt as one of her substitute sidekicks. Then she would have been able to properly motivate the cosmic entity with persistent inquiries. Oh well, no use crying over spilt milk; the Drizzt was probably half way through the Delta Quadrant by now, and there was work to be done. She pages forward again, reading _Limp-Asparagus Lad_ in reverse numerical order. Somewhere. Somewhere... Writers Block Woman shot upright and flipped back a page as something registered. It wasn't obvious, but reading between the lines... She read through the text again, carefully. Her eyes narrowed and she let out a hiss of triumph. So. Trying to sneak one past her, eh? Well hah, thought WBW, poking her tongue out at the screen. She stood up and turned on the printer, then made a hardcopy of #16. Then she stalked out to confront the viper at the Legion's heart. Subplot Lad walked into the TV Room. A number of Legionnaires were there, watching the news. They seemed to be currently watching a repeat of the bulletin from _Alt.Riders_ #3. "...and in international news, Germa.net has instigated a surprising policy, a complete banning of all superhero activity. Any superhero action will be met with the most strongest of resistance from local forces, their military claims. "Sources say that this may be due to the damage caused to the city of Bit.lin when the Alt.Riders member, the Net.Elementalist, fought a supervillain, resulting in the destruction of four city blocks, and also including several other buildings, including the hospital where the Net.Elementalist was taken to recover after being dropped on the autobahn. The sources state that the Net.Elementalist called the supervillain, Lagneto, leader of the Brotherhood of Net.Villains to the city for a rematch, thereby directly initiating the carnage that followed. "The Alt.Riders were unreachable for comment, but the Ultimate Ninja, leader of the controversial Legion of Net.Heroes, issued a statement disavowing any responsibility for the Alt.Riders. He said: 'Let them be buried by their own messes.' The LNH has offered aide to the Germans, but have received no response. The LNH also said that they will obey the superhero restriction, other than assisting in this case, but only if asked. "And on the international market, cheesecake still proves to be a valuable commodity..." Retcon Lad slumped back in his chair. "Oh Geez Barry. What've you gone and done _this_ time?" He looked at Harris. "This just isn't him." "Well, I don't know," offered Fourth Wall Lass. "I mean, he's always been a fun enough guy when he's in a good mood... You know, getting people's autograph's and stuff. But he has got a reputation for being badass if you cross him." Retcon Lad and Harris just stared at her, incredulity etched in every line of their faces. Then RLad sighed and muttered, "It's the Ghosts." "Pardon?" she asked. "The Ghosts of Christmas Pudding," explained RLad. "No, FaWL, he's not like that. Trust me, it's a retcon he's been stuck with ever since the Christmas Annual." He slammed a fist into a cupped palm. "Damn! They've gotten him after all. They've gone and made him into a grim'n'gritty(tm) character." Harris pushed up his glasses. <"Well, at least he's not a mutant,"> he observed. [Rendered into English from Kiwish by translator.thingee - Footnote Girl] Retcon Lad looked at the green kiwi bird sharply. "What's that supposed to mean?" <"Don't get so touchy! I mean, it'd be worse if he was a mutant. He'd probably contract Wolverine's Disease or something."> Retcon Lad shuddered and stuck out his tongue in distaste at the thought, as did many of the others. Wolverine's Disease. The dreaded affliction that turned perfectly innocent comic book characters into raving psycho killer vigilantees who talked to themselves in voice-overs. Mutants in particular were vulnerable to the loathsome condition, due to their genetic predisposition towards angst. Panta has contracted it once, and only the efforts of Lost Cause Boy had saved her before permanent harm had been done. [_Integrity Quest_ part 8 - Footnote Girl] Across the room Parsifal shifted his weight in his chair. The canidoid had been quiet for the time he'd been sitting with them, and there was the ever-present sense of him holding himself apart. Now he spoke up to ask a question. "This Net.Elementalist, he may be being manipulated then?" "That's a difficult question," answered Politically Correct Person. "There are a lot of different factors that can affect someone. Many of them turn up at some time or another to affect net.heroes." PCP paused, then added somewhat apologetically, "It adds drama to out stories." Parsifal nodded, slightly bemused but no longer confused. The idea of being a fictional character was new to him, but this was probably for the best. He had arrived in the Looniverse during Leftovers, a refugee from the Net.zi dominated timeline known as Net.Earth-X, and Net.ernity only knows what Hitler's goosebumpsteppers would have gotten up to if they'd known about the fourth wall. Parsifal had, however, demonstrated a desire to _know_, and with this in mind PC Person didactically continued. "Generally they can be divided into out-and-out mind control and Darkening. "The first is the easiest to deal with, since when the outside influence is removed there is an abrogation of personal responsibility. The person affected wasn't in control of hir actions, and so anything done wasn't hir fault. Darkening, however, is where someone's personality moves towards a more cynical, less social perspective, often accompanied by a tendency towards increased violence." Seated next to PC Person, Limp-Asparagus Lad could sense the care with which the Person of Social Equity was picking hir words. Parsifal, of course, was still somewhat sensitive to the issue of personal responsibility, and to L-ALad it spoke volumes that the normally outspoken PC Person was trying to present the two possibilities as neutrally as possible and leave hir audience to choose. It never occurred to Limp-Asparagus Lad that at least some of PC Person's exposition was not just making comparisons analogous to Parsifal's or the Net.Elementalist's position, but that of Limp-Asparagus Lad as well. Parsifal considered all this, then carefully asked, "Which one do you think it might be then?" Retcon Lad shifted uncomfortably before answering. "It more or less has to be the latter, from what he told me the Ghosts had been up to. And, thinking about it, I can see some changes in behaviour..." "Retcon Lad has some abilities for remembering both versions of a retconned event," Limp-Asparagus Lad explained in a monotone when Parsifal frowned in puzzlement. "Still, at least they're only _some_ changes," conceded Fourth Wall Lass. "I mean, I still remember him being a fun guy. Goofy, even. Like, uh, do you guys recall the time wReam finally posted _Ultimate Ninja_ #15?" The panel began to go all wavy. Parsifal sighed. "What is it this time?" <"A flashback,"> replied Harris. <"Pay attention,"> he advised. <"They're usually put in for a reason."> "Although it's probably just for the Writer to show off again..." Limp-Asparagus Lad added blandly as the scene broke up entirely. \begin{flashback} Cheesecake-Eater Lad wandered down the LNHQ hallway, glad to finally have the proper Ultimate Ninja back, and not looking where he was walking. It was due to this that he tripped over something, and barely stopped himself from splatting onto the floor. When he regained his balance, he looked down to see a small hole in the concrete floor. Glancing around, he saw other holes, all down the corridor. His puzzlement increased when he looked up and saw bigger holes in the ceiling. "What the?" Was this some new form of attack? He followed the trail, and entered the cafeteria, where things were even more confusing. Holes led CEL's gaze to one of the lights hanging down from the ceiling, and, more specifically, to the person hanging own from it. His cape had caught on the lightshade, and now the LNHer was slowly spinning around. As the body tuned towards him CEL recognised the outfit as that of Fan.Boy, who sported a rather inane grin on his face. What he didn't recognise was why Fan.Boy was hanging of a light. Did the rest of the LNHers finally get sick of him? CEL then noticed other LNHers grouped below him. He sighted Doctor Stomper, and moved over to him. "What's going on?" "Well, you know that _Ultimate Ninja 15_ just got posted..." "Yes." Doc Stomper shrugged. "He's a fan. You have any idea how long he's been waiting for that issue? He came bouncing in here, hitting the ceiling and crashing into the floor, before getting his cape caught on the light. We're just trying to work out how to get him down." CEL could hear Fan.Boy murmuring, "Joy. Joy. Joy." CEL shook his head. "Geez. I'd hate to see what happens if another _Kid Kirby and Sing-Along Lass_ comes out." He joined the others in attempting to calm Fan.Boy down. \end{flashback} Parsifal blinked as he regained awareness of his surroundings. He must be getting used to this sort of thing. He focused his mind back onto the subject at hand. "Well, if he's been... 'retconned', then can't you just 'retcon' him back to normal?" "Uh, well. Nope," admitted Retcon Lad candidly. "My powers do too much damage if I'm affecting a big thing, or one back in the past aways. And as I recall, the Net.Elementalist said the Ghosts had been working at him from the day he arrived in the Looniverse." [_Fan.Boy Annual_ #1 - Footnote Girl] <"Yeah. So he sticks to the little things, like finding translator.thingees for kiwis,"> Harris teased. He rolled his eyes. <"I mean, what would Gamer Boy think?"> "Oh, shut up you," RLad replied in mock anger. "You're not in a position to complain." They went back to watching the TV, but Retcon Lad was thoughtful. Was there a way to make changes with his power without stretching the already far too thin fabric of the Looniverse's reality? Well, no. Probably not. But there might be a way to do something similar by another means. It wasn't an effect that was used much in comic book universes, but it did turn up quite a lot in the role playing game universes. Retcon Lad smiled. It was a good thing that skills could be developed so quickly in RPGs. It was also good that both comic book and RPG universes tended to be such eclectically constructed things: it made transportability of ideas between them relatively easy. He should be able to quickly develop the abilities he needed for what he had in mind. Of course, there were limits on those sort of powers that were almost as strict as his current mutant powers. If what he had in mind worked then he would be only able to work Changes for truly worthwhile causes, but this didn't worry him to much. Miracles did happen. Across the room Subplot Lad cocked his head to one side, as if listening to something. Then he got up and walked out. He could feel another subplot coming on-line, somewhere in the cafeteria from the feel of it. Lord Vincent Stopper, the Eldrich Explainer of Looniearth-AA, wandered through the halls of the LNHQ. He and his two companions, Lean-Apples Lad of Looniearth-Irritation and Fan.Boy from Looniearth-B, had arrived just minutes ago [_Net.Titans_ #38 - Footnote Girl] and had then split up in order to try to find help. Limp-Asparagus Lad or the Net.Titans, Lean-Apples Lad had suggested. But as it was he was hard pressed to find _anyone_. Perhaps he should cast a scrying spell... Then he caught sight of a costumed woman up ahead, striding across a side corridor. He hurried to catch up with her, but by the time he had reached the intersection, she was gone. In frustration he poked out his tongue. This just wasn't working. Further along the corridor, in a state of absolute fury at what Doctor Stomper had said to her in _Net.Titans_ #39, Research Lass stormed along oblivious to almost everything until she came across Linguist Lass. "MEN! I am NOT taking that speed-feeb Kid Quickclick with us... NOT in a million YEARS!" RLass snarled before vanishing down the corridor. Subplot Lad arrived in the cafeteria just in time to see Writers Block Woman enter and call for quiet. The room fell silent as the various LNHers turned to look at her, wondering what was up _this_ time. "Ladies and gentlemen, I have uncovered details to the identity of Cultural Cringe Boy," she announced. A number of Legionnaires rolled their eyes at her continued obsession with the subject. "So #@&*in' don't keep us in $!%#in' suspense," groused Innovative Offence Boy. "Who the %@+# is it?" Writers Block Woman pointed dramatically at Lipid-Artery Lad. "Him!" "Who? Me!?" exclaimed the very surprised Oddball LNHer. "Do you deny it?" she interrogated. "Uh, well, no..." "Ah-HAH!" "But I don't even know what my real name is, let alone my origin or nationality. I could be anything! Hmm," he mused speculatively, then tried some sample dialogue, " 'I'll chuck a shrimp on the barbie for you'." He shook his head. "I think it'd need practice." Then, with great curiosity he looked at WBW. "What makes you think I'm an Alt.stralian?" "Beetroot!" WBW exclaimed, pointing a finger with melodrama. "Beetroot?" asked the assembled Legionnaires as one. "Yes! Beetroot!" affirmed Writers Block Woman. "What's beetroot?" someone asked. "My point precisely!" replied WBW. She turned on Lipid, "In the Culinary Disasters issue of this series you gave yourself away with the following statement: 'Takeaway burgers just aren't ever dribbly enough. Nowhere near enough beetroot, tomatoes an' sauce.' " She glared at the Oddballer. "If you were an Ame.rec.an like Limp-Asparagus Lad, you would have said _red beets_!" There was a murmur among the LNHers; it seemed they were divided on the issue. A reactionary few, such as Happy-To-Persecute-People-Just- Like-In-Ditko-Stories Man, would join in any attempt to belittle anyone on any ground whatsoever, and indeed it was from this group that Self- Righteous Preacher drew much of his authority in his ongoing crusade against Panta. Others, however, were not quite so redneck, and found the accusation to be more than a little bit silly. "That's rather slim evidence, WBW," pointed out Fearless Leader. "It could be just a simple dialogue error." "Correct," said a female voice. The LNHers turned to discover Louise 'Wheezie' Alt.Comics.LNH, the Continuity Cop of the Looniverse. She had a disc-like body with the LNH logo on it, and was holding a clipboard in her stick figure hands. "And if there's any chance of it being an error, it has to be investigated," Wheezie stated firmly. She looked around. "All right people, let's get on with this. I'm running behind schedule as is." Perhaps too eagerly, Writers Block Woman asked, "And what happens if it's not an error?" Wheezie looked at WBW. "If it turns out he really is an Alt.stralian, then it becomes an internal matter for the LNH. I'm only interested in discontinuities. But at least the matter will be confirmed one way or another." Writers Block Woman nodded thoughtfully. It was not quite what she'd hoped for, but it was a good enough starting point. "How do you plan to find out the truth of the matter?" Fearless Leader asked. "I plan to cut to the heart of the matter," Wheezie replied. "I'll ask the Writer what his intention had been when he wrote that scene." With that she issues a Cosmic Summons (or is that a Comic Book Summons?) and a slightly overweight man in his late 20s appeared in the LNHQ cafeteria. He had short brown hair and eyes a washed-out green colour. "Something wrong?" Saxon asked, a bit bemused. "Possibly," replied Wheezie. "I need you to answer some questions in order to clear up a bone of contention." The Writer shrugged. "Okay." Wheezie continued. "It's alleged that in this issue of _Limp-Asparagus Lad_," and here she held up WBW's hardcopy of #16, "that the dialogue of Lipid-Artery Lad could be construed as being that of an Alt.stralian, rather than an Ame.rec.an as he should be if he were a true counterpart of Limp-Asparagus Lad." The Writer looked at the printout. "Oh yeah. The Culinary Disasters issue. Well, keep in mind that the Oddballers aren't the exact counter- parts of the LNHers, any more than all of the Golden Age heroes of Earth-2 were exact duplicates of their Earth-1 counterparts. So it's false logic to assume that Lipid has to be an Ame.rec.an like Limpy." As Saxon said this Lipid leaned forward, a look of eagerness on his face. "But, in this case, no, I hadn't intended for Lipid to be an Alt.stralian." He looked at WBW, in the process missing the way Lipid's face fell, "If it's any help Writer Block Woman, Cultural Cringe Boy will be a totally new character." "Hmf," hmfed WBW. She crossed her arms, clearly miffed. Saxon shrugged and turned back to Wheezie. "I simply didn't know exactly what red beets were until several months later when I was doing research for the first two issues of _Antipodean Antics_. Only then did I realise they were the same thing. Is that a specific enough answer for you?" "It'll do," she said, writing on her clipboard. "Fine then, so if there's nothing else..." Then he caught sight of Lipid's morose expression. Thinking quickly, he asked Wheezie, "Nevertheless, maybe we could just patch it with a retcon and say he always was an Alt.stralian anyway?" Writers Block Woman stared at him in horror, while Lipid's face took on a look of wild hope. "Yes! Oh please!" Writers Block Woman rounded on Lipid. "Why in the world would you want to be an Alt.stralian?" she demanded, spitting out the last word as if it tasted bad. "I don't _care_ what nationality it is," exclaimed Lipid. "The important thing is that it's a start! If I work hard at it, it may even develop into a Secret Origin. One day I may even get a real name!" Writers Block Woman gave him a sour look. "You're _depraved_," she accused, and stomped off. Lipid poked his tongue out at her as she left. Wheezie, meanwhile, looked dubious. "Do you remember the last time a Writer made a mistake and tied to backtrack with a retcon?" she asked pointedly. The Legionnaires and the Writer collectively shook their heads. [_Refugees of Net.ropolis_ #s 6.5 and 6.9] supplied Footnote Girl from the other side of the room. The Legionnaires stared in horror as this fact sunk in. Old Comics Man, who had been in those issues, put his head in his hands, stuck out his tongue, and grumbled, "We're up to our necks in it this time, yessiree. In my day we didn't worry about all this continuity stuff and just went around fighting Mad Scientists with death rays, even if they were trying to kill Chris Gumprich. Nowadays people get all uptight about it and go crazy at the drop of a hat..." "Okay people, hold it. Stop picking on Abhay," called Saxon. "The Legion of Net.Heroes has a long and noble history of creative silliness, and he was just trying a little too hard to live up to standards. Just leave off." He looked at Wheezie. "Is there any reason why I can't retcon _my_ slip up?" She shrugged. "No definitive reason. Is it going to affect long term plot development?" "No." He cast a look at Lipid, decided that it wouldn't matter whether or not this particular future plan was known or not, and said, "I know what his origin is, and nationality doesn't matter. It needs to be in a country that's fallen into the clutches of multinational fast-food conglomerates, but that could be almost anywhere in the world. Even the French haven't been completely successful in holding off fast-food chains." Wheezie nodded and noted this down on her clipboard too, as did List Lad among the crowd of LNHers. With the issue settled, most of the Legionnaires went back to there lunch. Lipid, meanwhile, was in a state of almost hysterical glee. "I get an Origin!?" "Yes," the Writer confirmed. "Just don't get yourself worked up about it. It's still a long way off. There's still a lot that I want to write first. But look, in the meantime, I don't want this Alt.stralian thing to go to your head, okay?" "What do you mean?" "When people think about other countries, they generally think in cliches. Most people's perceptions of Australia are clouded by Paul Hogan. Geez." He stuck out his tongue in embarrassment. Slightly calmer now, Lipid shrewdly said, "An' that's why Cultural Cringe Boy's coming?" "You got it. Anyway, what I'm saying is, just be yourself. Don't go acting like a stereotype or anything. And especially don't go out of your way to antagonise Writers Block Woman. I'm not a hundred percent sure why she's got her spandex in a twist, but I think it's because Net.Zealanders and Alt.stralians are really quite similar. They're kind of like siblings who are sometimes too similar to get along all the time, and when other people get them mixed up they get cranky because they feel their self identity is being undermined. You get what I'm saying?" "Yeah." Saxon nodded. "Good. Well, I'd better be off. Take care Lipid." "Yeah. You too. Oh! Hold up. One more thing." "Yes?" "Bahhh!" went the dozens of Legionnaires in the cafeteria, poking their tongues out at the Writer and pulling down their left eye-lids. "Oh. Good," he said, pleased but somewhat bemused. "Rampant silliness. Keep up the good work guys." Subplot Lad left the cafeteria. Well, that was one subplot, certainly. But it was not the one he could feel building. He looked around, feeling with senses attuned to subplots. The Foyer? Yes, the Foyer, it felt like. He went to the Foyer and found a thin man in spandex who he didn't recognise looking around in bemusement and frustration. This newcomer looked, in fact, like he was about to start sticking his tongue out. "Hello," said Subplot Lad. "Can I help you?" The newcomer looked at Subplot Lad with relief. "I certainly hope so," he replied in a somewhat nasal voice. "I'm looking for the Legion of Net.Heroes. Limp-Asparagus Lad or the Net.Titans, preferably, but at the moment _any_ of them will do." "Well, I'm Subplot Lad. Just about everybody else is busy just at the moment. What's the problem?" The other looked somewhat frustrated again, but said. "My name is Lean-Apples Lad. I'm one of three people sent by a Mysterious Figure to warn you of the imminent arrival of the Exponential Man." Subplot Lad recognised the first name. He was supposed to be another one of Limp-Asparagus Lad's counterparts from another Looniearth, and who had supposedly escaped his world just before some catastrophe overtook it. [_Kid Mysticism and the Net.Titans_ #18 - Footnote Girl] He didn't recognise the second name, though. "Uh, okay. Who, precisely, is the Exponential Man?" "He's this humanoid figure that appeared in space in my looniverse. He looks kind of like a human-shaped white space. A void in anthro- pomorphic form. Anyway, he began sucking up matter and energy and began to grow. Eventually it became clear he'd eat the entire solar system." "What happened?" Lean-Apples Lad frowned irritably at the memory. "The Relaxation Corps and the League of Nutty Heroes went to war over how to deal with him. They actually did more damage than the E-Man did. Up until the moment he consumed Earth-Irritation, of course. I got out just before then. "Anyway, I came here via Ultimate Cringa's Cowardly Transmat. But just a few hours ago I got scooped up by this Mysterious Figure, who nabbed two other people as well. He told us that the E-Man had eaten my looniverse, and several others as well, and he was on his way here. Supposedly his next stop will be Looniearth-B, and if he's not stopped there, he'll be unbeatable. We're supposed to get help for Looniearth-B." Subplot Lad was staring. "But he can be stopped, can he?" "Oh yes. Apparently the mages of Looniearth-AA sent him off packing." Lean-Apples Lad looked thoughtful. "We'd better ask Lord Vincent exactly how they did that. It'll probably be useful." Subplot Lad sighed. Great. A Cosmic adventure, and thanks to his powers the closest he'd be able to come to participating in it would be to introduce this guy to the rest of the Legion to hear his story, then wave bye-bye to them as they all went off to Save The Worlds. "Come on," he said. "The rest of the guys are this way." Back in the TV Room the news continued. "...and a group calling itself the New American Order held a rally in Net.ropolis. Campaigning on Law and Order issues, they drew several thousand people." The soundbyte cut in with a man in suit eschewing presidential presentation in favour of sound-and-fury rabble rousing: "...where the streets are not safe! Monsters like this George Farnsworth shouldn't just be put away! Hard labour's too good for them! The current administration limp-wristed handling of society's safety is a disgrace! Well, _we_ believe that there should be tougher measures taken against these degenerates, and we promise to implement them by the turn of the century!" "You know," said the Incredible Man With No Life, "I've noticed a lot of groups making claims like that recently. Including the ones that aren't partisan." [For example, in _Dvandom Force_ #73 - Footnote Girl] "It's just millenialism," PC Person opined, somewhat irritably. "People think that just because a year is a type of anniversary that it's special, and a reason to make extra efforts. If people were properly civic-minded they would make the effort all the time." Through all this Limp-Asparagus Lad observed warily. .oO(Watching these groups make their ill-defined promises, I cannot help but get a feeling of unease,) he thought. .oO(I wonder, does every other net.hero have the same sense of foreboding about this that I do?) Well, gosh Limp-Asparagus Lad, I don't know. I guess we should all go and read a net.comic that _actually has something to do with the Century Pact_ in order to find out. --------------------------------------------------------------------- Next Issue: Crisis on Looniearth-B. A crossover with _Lurker Lad_ #4 (though I'm still not sure which issue will come first...) Then, probably another issue that has only tenuous relevance to the Century Pact. :-P --------------------------------------------------------------------- Character Credits: Cheesecake-Eater Lad, Doctor Stomper, Fearless Leader, Incredible Man With No Life, Innovative Offence Boy, List Lad, Old Comics Man, Politically Correct Person, and Wheezie Alt.Comics.LNH are Public Domain. Fan.Boy (now the Net.Elementalist) created by Jamas Enright. Fourth Wall Lass, Lipid-Artery Lad, Parsifal, Retcon Lad, and Subplot Lad created by Saxon Brenton. Harris created by Saxon Brenton and owned (as are all the Looniverse's kiwis) by Descri (Ian Porell). Limp-Asparagus Lad owned by Saxon Brenton, created by Mystic Mongoose (Robert Armstrong) and wReam (Ray Bingham (Chaos and Entropy incarnate)). Lean-Apples Lad, Lord Vincent Stomper, and Research Lass created by Ben Rawluk. Linguist Lass owned by Ben Rawluk and created by Martin Phipps. Writers Block Woman created by Jaelle (Jessica-Ihimaera Smiler). All characters copyright and tm 1996 their owners and/or creators. --------------------------------------------------------------------- Add Notes: Hmm. Another issue where the title character made only a token appearance. Oh well. The flashback was indeed posted by Jamas immediately after the release of _UN_ #15. Research Lass' dialogue lifted more or less as shown from _Net.Titans_ #39. The Century Pact was concocted by Dvandom (Dave Van Domelon). Inspiration for choreographed tongue poking from Aaron :-P Additionally, Jamas wants it made perfectly clear that he does not approve of my remarks about similarities between Alt.stralians and Net.Zealanders. Jaelle's only comment was that I'd better not let Writers Block Woman read them.Back to the Index.