Blue Light Productions presents

Kid Mysticism & The Net.Titans
#35
"Befuddled Past Selves"
PART 2 OF THE MAGICIAN'S WOES
By Ben Rawluk
 
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[Cover - The logo is done in pure white, with the rest of the background
completely pitch-black. In the foreground, Kid Mysticism is struggling with
an evil version of himself, decked out in his earlier, mystical red
trenchcoat. Below that, white gothic copy reads "Battle in the Shadow Realms!"]
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Kid Mysticism slowly opened his eyes, to total darkness. Infinite, utter,
oblivion. He gulped, a sinking feeling in his stomach accompanying the
realization where he was, as his mind was filled with a thousand psychic
screams...The Shadow Realms. His eyes search the darkness, and he saw who he
was with...Mysticism Kid. 
 
"Oh crap..." Kid Mysticism mumbled. He had hoped MK had been teleported
elsewhere.
 
--*The Peril Room, LNHQ*--
 
Plot-Device King smashed his fist into the robotic hulk before him. He
smiled, avoiding the blades hurled by a Knife-thrower projection. He had
been going at it for an hour. He was actually having to work at the
fighting, having using his plot-device powers to enhance the Peril Room
computers, so that the constructs would pose a genuine problem for him. He
shoved a robotic corpse at two on-coming fighters, pushing them into one of
the computer-generated brick walls.
 
--*The Cafeteria*--
 
Lurker Lad carefully bit down on the piece of cheesecake he had just spooned
into his mouth. He took a moment to consider it's taste, or rather, a lack
thereof. The cheesecake was unusually bland, and he had to remember to talk
to Cheesecake-Eater Lad about it. He glanced down at the comic book he was
in the middle of reading; he had pulled it out of his collection.
_Limp-Asparagus Lad #1_. One of his back-issues. He smiled as he read. That
Brenton guy was a funny writer.
 
--*The Shadow Realms*--
 
"Ahhh.....Kid Mysticism...I know what you're thinking...'Why would such a
Net.Villain, an imposter, being doing attacking the Writer?'...I should
know, I thought the same thing...You see, I was merely making sure you
encountered me...So that I could properly...influence events..."
 
"What...what do you mean...?"
 
"Silly! I _am_ YOU...the you of the future...."
 
"Oh gods...Convoluted origin time..."
 
--*Peril Room*--
 
Two hours, Plot-Device King had been there. He was actually _working_, for
once. Kicking, punching, then waiting for the right POW!, and KA-BAM! to
catch up. He smiled as he bashed the skull of a Mech-warrior in. As he
smashed several 'bots, he wondered what Research Lass was up to.
 
--*Monitor Room*--
 
Research Lass was slumped over the keyboard of the main computer, her eyes
going over the screen. She was researching one-shot net.heroes, and had
dipped into the main computer's roster files. Every Net.Hero ever created
was listed in the master file. She clicked a button, and read an entry. "Bot
Boy? Some kind of robotic net.hero?...lost in another dimension after one
issue?" RL smirked. "Serves him right...had _no_ character development...."
She glanced at her watch. "Hmph...Kid Mysticism wanted me to drop off that
research paper I wrote on magic in comics...I should go do that..."
 
--*The Shadow Realms*--
 
"Its _quite_ simple, really...Somewhere along the line, when I was you, I
encountered me, who was also from the future....he influenced events, and
killed the LNH...and you later merged with the Dark Apparition...Going back
in time as me..."
 
"You MUST be kidding me..." KM muttered.
 
"Oh no...I was just telling you that while we wait for the Alliance..."
Mysticism Kid smiled a devilish grin.
 
"The Alliance?" KM muttered. He remembered his initial encounter with the
Eldritch Alliance. They had tried him, and nearly executed him, as a 'threat
to reality', a matter that was later cleared up.
 
"Of course, my Befuddled Past self...why would we be in the Shadow Realms,
if not to meet them...of course, you are about to be a juror...on my trial!"
 
"Uh-Oh.." KM mumbled.
 
--*Browsing Boy's Quarters*--
 
Browsing Boy lay on top of his standard-issue LNH bed, an issue of _Dvandom
Force_ in front of him. He was, for once, carefully reading it, and not just
speed-reading/browsing through it. "Hmph...I wonder when Linguist Lass'll be
ready to go..."
 
--*The LNH Lobby*--
 
Linguist Lass was leaning against the Receptionist's desk. The calm fellow
behind it seemed completely oblivious to her presence...obviously he had
grown used to the comings and goings of various net.heroes, net.villains,
etc...probably so used to it that he'd only look up if someone tried to
join, LL mused. She glanced at her watch...obviously Browsing Boy had
forgotten that they'd decided to meet out in the Lobby before their date. 
 
Linguist Lass's reverie snapped away the instant she heard the *ring* of the
main doors opening, automatically, to admit some spandex-wearing being. She
glanced up at the latest net.hero to show up: A calm man of about 25, garbed
in a brightly colored costume of red-yellow-and-blue, with a big grin on his
face. A rather impressive 'R' was on his chest, and wandered over to her.
She had to shield her eyes from the shear brightness of his costume.
"Hiddy-Ho! I'd like to join the Legion of Net.Heroes!" 
 
*Hiddy-Ho? Did he actually say 'Hiddy-Ho!'?! And who's writing his
dialogue?* Linguist Lass mentally giggled, and stood off to the side, ready
to see what came of this newest net.hero.
 
"Name?" The receptionist muttered, colder than a cucumber.
 
"Retroactive Lad!" The net.hero replied, his voice so filled with cheer that
Linguist Lass had to restrain herself from throttling him. 
 
"Powers?"
 
"I can retcon reality into virtually any form!" As he said this, Linguist
Lass buried her head in her hands, to stifle the laughter....she knew the
policy on Retcon-based characters...
 
"I'm sorry. The LNH currently is limiting the number of retcon-based
characters in order to keep Reality in a sane format, and retain a semblence
of order...."
 
"Yeah?! Well...if I can't join...then I'll just retcon the LNH outta
existence!" Retroactive Lad screamed, and concentrated...waves of retconic
force erupted from him...only to be shoved back into his form...retconning
him out of reality. Apparently he wasn't that good with his powers,
anyway.[*For more on Retroactive Lad, watch for his one-shot, if I ever get
it done! - Ben]
 
--The Shadows Realms--
 
Kid Mysticism watched in horror, while Mysticism Kid watched in delight, as
the cosmic-being called the Gatherer materialized, towing the Alliance
members who would be serving with Kid Mysticism as the jury. As he looked
upon them, the magic of the place imbued him with knowledge of them: Jonah
Occult, the so-called Retcotheric Detective. Steakga, the shadow witch.
Feelinks Flawed, the Egyptian sorcerer. And finally, Ravencroft. All of them
gathered beside him, and at last, the Gatherer spoke. "Mysticism Kid, you
are charged with using your magic for illegal time-travel, disrupting the
life of your past incarnation, and using the Retcotheric power against your
own nature. How do you plead?"
 
"Oh, Guilty of course. Oh-so guilty!" Mysticism Kid cooed through a toothy
grin. "But then..being guilty is better'n being dead."
 
"In the Eldritch Alliance...they are the same thing." The Gatherer replied.
 
"Oh yeah!" MK screeched, and eldritch energies sprang from his form,
striking down every Alliance member except Kid Mysticism. The laughter of
the Shadow Realms, for the first time ever, was silenced.
TO BE CONTINUED...
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Next Issue: Be back here, for Kid Mysticism & The Net.Titans #36! The Grand
Finale of the Magician's Woes! You can't imagine the outcome!
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CREDITS:
Kid Mysticism, Research Lass, and Mysticism Kid are owned by me.
Linguist Lass was created by Martin Phipps, but is reserved as a Net.Titan.
Browsing Boy and Lurker Lad are Public Domain, but reserved as a Net.Titan.
Plot-Device King and the Eldritch Alliance is owned by me.
Retroactive Lad is owned by me.