L N H Comics Presents #25 [Cover features wReamhack and the Ultimate Ninja looking very surprised at a shadowy figure.] ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Return of a Legend?" _-~-_ He travelled slowly, making his way carefully. He could remember this place. Or thought he could. He was standing outside the LNHHQ, looking up the steps at the closed front door. In this body, he could remember this building quite well. In fact, he could remeber this building in most of his bodies. Not that he remembered his other bodies. Not that he had his own identity. _-~-_ It was dinner time inside the LNHHQ, and wReamhack was taking the oppertunity to goof off while everyone else was occupied. He was currently walking to the receptionist (Fred? Chris? Bob? he could never remeber), and was facing away from the doors when the man came in. His first hint of warning was the shocked look on the receptionist's face. (Actually, it was a pretty big hint. The receptionist's jaw had dropped about a foot, and his eyes were sticking out on stalks.) "Nice _Mask_ impression," wReamhack commented. Realising what had actually happened, wReamhack turned around slowly. If something bad was going to happen to him, he prefered it to do so while he wasn't looking. (He really prefered it not to happen at all, but sometimes that option just wasn't possible.) Who he saw caused him to out-do the receptionist for jaw dropping. "Da-da-da..." he said intelligently. The receptionist recovered first. "Contraption Man. You're back." (He had been taking lessons from Sister State-The-Obvious.) The man frowned. "Contraption Man? I am Contraption Man?" wReamhack gulped. "Oh boy," he muttered. Grabbing the intercom, he spoke into it. "Could the.. er... Ultimate Ninja please come to reception?... Er... now?" _-~-_ The ninja's ninja looked up from his work, and glared at the loudspeaker. Couldn't these fools do something right by themselves, just for a change? The ninja put down the piece of paper he had been reading, and sighed. Rising, he made his way silently from his office to the front desk. The first thing he saw was wReamhack, away from his desk. "Isn't there someplace else you should be right now?" he growled at the hacker. "Er," wReamhack's eyes darted from the sight in front of him to the ninja, then back again. "I think you should take a look at..." (he pointed his finger) "...him." The Ultimate Ninja followed the direction of the finger and came to the man standing just inside the doors. In one of those *very* rare occasions, the ninja was actually surprised. "Contraption Man? What the hell(tm) are you doing here?" Indeed, the man could only be Contraption Man. His stance, looks and voice belonged only to the inventor extrodinaire. "Yes. Yes." CM's voice grew stronger. "I am Contraption Man! And I am... here." His voice trailed off. "Where have I been?" he asked. wReamhack gasped. How could he (CM) not remember the events of Retcon Hour and the repercussions afterwards? _-~-_ [In the interested of educated readers, we now present: Kid Recap on Contraption Man] Kid Recap says: "What the hell(tm) am I doing here?" [I though it would be nice to have a brief summary of what happened to Contraption Man, seeing as how he hasn't been around recently.] "But, I only do recent stuff. Just the past issue or so. This is something totally new." [Look, I'm writing this, and I'll tell you what to say.] "Hurm. Oh, all right. If you insist so much." Kid Recap says: "During Retcon Hour Omega, Contraption Man was evil and tried to kill everyone, but then he got religion during LNH Triple Play #5 after touching the Minicar of Redemption, and left on a religious sojorn." [Thank you.] "What, that's it? I need to talk to my agent. I don't get paid enough for this..." [We know return you to your regually scheduled comic.] _-~-_ [When we were last with our intrepid heroes... or whatever they are, wReamhack had just showed suprise that Contraption man couldn't remember the abpve events.] "I can't remember very well," Contraption Man said. "I was... something else for a while." "I'll say. You were a religious nutter trying to kill us all," said wReamhack. The Ultimate Ninja stepped in. "Until we can find out what happened, I'm going to confine you to the madlab. wReamhack, get Doctor Stomper here, and make sure no-one else finds out about this." As wReamhack left through one door, Bad-Timing Boy, who had finished dinner early, and wanted to find out what had required his leader's presence, entered into the reception through a different door. "What's happening... Contraption Man?" The Ultimate Ninja buried his head in his hands. _-~-_ Later, after the ninja had extracted a vow of silence (using his typical powers of persuasion) from Bad-Timing Boy, and after sending a chastised wReamhack back to the Monitoring Room, Contraption Man was undergoing tests run by Doctor Stomper in the medlab. The LNH leader waited impatiently for the results. The doctor looked up from his final test. "Well, he is Contraption Man..." "And?" prompted the Ultimate Ninja. The doctor took a deep breath. "There's a strange genetic fluctuation at the molecular level, but it doesn't seem to be interfering with his DNA state." "Meaning what?" "Meaning... he should be changing shape, but he isn't." The UN looked at the figure on the bed. Was he Contraption Man, or wasn't he? How would he be able to tell? At that moment, a voice came over the intercom. "Can Doctor Stomper please come to the Peril Room control room? We have another casualty." 'If he is Contraption Man,' thought the UN, thinking of the Peril Room, 'he couldn't have come at a better time.' _-~-_ Up in the control room, Doctor Stomper found Squeaky Clean lying prone on the floor, with Guitar Man kneeling next to him. "You haven't been singing to him, have you?" Doctor Stomper inquired. "What?" asked Guitar Man, looking up. "Oh, there you are. I came here to practice for a while, and found Squeaky trying to clean the insides of the control panel." There was a side panel off, exposing the wiring inside. There was a bucket of soapy water nearby, and a trail of soapy bubbles across one of the circuits boards inside. Squeaky Clean was starting to stir. Doctor Stomper knelt down to help him up. Guitar Man realised what Doctor Stomper had said when he came in. "Hey, you don't think my singing's bad, do you?" "Certainly not," said the doctor, straightfaced. He continued under his breath, "not compared to fingernails across the blackboard, anyway." The board sparked some more, indicating further eruptions, and Guitar Man jumped/flew into the path of the indicated explosion. The damage was absorbed by his armor, with no further harm to anyone. The Ultimate Ninja arrived, with Contraption Man following. Looking around, he commented "What a mess." Squeaky Clean sat up, holding his head. "Don't worry, I can clean it." The ninja saw the bucket. "I think you've done enough cleaning already." Contraption Man had been silent, but now he moved forward carefully, examing the damaged control panel. He reached out, and traced a few circuit paths with his hand. "Careful there," warned Doctor Stomper. "I don't want more people with injuries." "I... I know these circuits," said Contraption Man, quietly. "I should think you do," said the Ultimate Ninja. "Considering." "I... I created this, didn't I?" Guitar Man was trying to work something out. "Who is this man?" he finally asked. This reminded the ninja of the others's presences. Making himself look imposing (not hard), he commanded "You," (pointing to GM) "you," (pointing to Doctor Stomper) "and you" (Squeaky Clean) "out. This is going to be a trial for our new friend." Squeaky Clean had a guilty look on his face. "I think I should stay and help. I did create this after all." "Just what were you doing?" asked Doctor Stomper. "Captain Cleanup said I should clean up the Peril Room for a change. (Instead of him, that is.) I though that I would try to clean inside the control desk as well." "Any particular reason why?" "Erm. Plot device?" UN sighed. Just what he needed. "All right. You and Contraption Man stay here, and fix this up. From now on the Peril Room is closed for repairs. Doctor Stomper, you and Guitar Man... leave." Putting action to words, UN led Doctor Stomper and Guitar Man out, with GM still asking "But, who is that person?" _-~-_ "I suppose this is pretty simple stuff," commented Squeaky Clean, as they got stuck into it. "What with you being from the future and all." The future? No, not the future... He was from... He remembered. ...Sin.ci.net.ty. _-~-_ In Sin.ci.net.ty, a woman laughed. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- What is happening? Is Contraption Man back? See future issues of the new series Fan.Boy for a (hopefully) enlightening plot. Ultimate Ninja and wReamhack belong to wReam, used without permission (sorry, but this guy doesn't answer his mail very quickly :) Contraption Man... *this* Contraption Man belongs to me. *evil grin* Guitar Man belongs to Campbell "Sasquatch" March, and used with permission. Kid Recap belongs to Josh Gurnick, and used without permission (or comission :) Bad-Timing Boy, Doctor Stomper, Squeaky Clean and the receptionist are Public Domain.Back to the Index.