Blue Light Productions presents
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|#22 | | |~~~~~ | ___ | | | | | | | /\ ~| \ \ / / | |
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[The cover is of Fan.Boy lying unconscious on an altar. Over
him stands a priest wielding a wicked knife, screaming "I
give him to you, Lord Fan.Dom!"
A special sticker screams "FINAL ISSUE!!"]
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
40 hours:
Doctor Stomper entered the Peril Room control room with what looked like a
buzzsaw. He opened the panels underneath the control board, and let the
buzzsaw start spinning.
Placing safety goggles on, he brought the saw into contact with
electrical systems, and tried not to flinch when the sparks started to
fly.
One by one the Peril Room controls were disabled and cut-off.
Fan.Boy sat in the cafeteria, starting at nothing much. Around him were a
few LNHers, Master Blaster and Frat Boy, Entropy Kid, New Look Lass,
Cheesecake Eater Lad of course, and others.
Retcon Lad came in and saw him. "You going through with it, then?"
he asked, sitting down.
"Yep. In 40 hours, I will no longer be a superhero."
"What are you talking about? It takes more than powers to be a
superhero. Look at Easily Discovered Man Lite," Retcon Lad pointed out.
"Besides, you still have all your knowledge."
"Yeah, that's what the Ultimate Ninja said when I asked to
resign."
"What? You asked to resign? Why?"
"Don't worry about it. He wouldn't let me. He told me to help out
Master Roster Man and List Lad, or go see Bibliography Boy. And I don't
exactly have anywhere else to go, do I?"
"Well, you aren't doing any good just sitting here and moping.
Why not come out on patrol with me?" Retcon Lad offered.
"I'm still not allowed to leave," Fan.Boy said, glumly.
"Well, you can still pilot a flight.thingee for me. Come on,
you've got to get out of here."
"Yeah, and if I practice really hard at that, I might be able to
becoming Parking Karma Kid II."
Without answering the sarcasm, Retcon Lad stood up and walked
behind Fan.Boy and put him in a headlock, then started dragging him
towards the door.
"Okay, okay," said Fan.Boy, struggling out of Retcon Lads grasp.
"You know, I could stun you. That would get you to stop."
"Not if I just happened to put cotton wool in my ears before you
spoke," Retcon Lad said, grinning.
Fan.Boy worked it out. "Fair enough. Let's go."
As they left, they passed Marsha Burgenstock and Inacoustic Kid.
They waved and continued on their way.
Marsha helped Inacoustic Kid, who was still feeling slightly dizzy
from his operation, to a table, then got them some lunch. Frat Boy and
Entropy Kid joined them.
"So, you all right now, Kid?" asked Frat Boy.
Inacoustic Kid nodded, and Frat Boy grinned. "Here, have a
brewski."
Marsha intercepted it before Inacoustic Kid got his hands on it.
"I don't think the doctor would approve of that."
"And the cheesecake is good for him?" pointed out Frat Boy.
Cheesecake Eater Lad overheard this. "Hey, that's very nutritional
cheesecake. That's carrot and sultana cheesecake."
Marsha looked down at the confectionery, now slightly less hungry
than she had been.
"At least it isn't that peach and marmite one," said Entropy Kid,
shuddering.
"Hey!" said Cheesecake Eater Lad, mock-hurt. "I got commendations
for that."
Entropy looked skeptical but, understandably, didn't say anything.
Frat Boy slapped him on the back. "Heh. Only one line, but he
makes sure it's a good one."
Marsha raised her eyebrow. "Still got that great power." Entropy
Kid nodded slightly. "That really sucks."
"Tell me about it," Entropy Kid said.
The wave of shock and surprise slowly spread outwards, eventually
silencing the entire room.
"Tell me I just didn't hear that," Cheesecake Eater Lad said.
"Way to go man," congratulated Frat Boy.
"How did I do that?" asked Entropy Kid.
Inacoustic Kid slumped onto the table.
Marsha reached out, but quickly drew her hand back. "Hey, he's
hot. Quick, call Organic Lass."
Cheesecake Eater Lad tapped him com.thingee. "wReamhack, Transmat
Inacoustic Kid to the Med Lab now."
"No can do," came back the hacker's voice. "Doctor Stomper told me
to take them off line."
Marsha could see sweat on Inacoustic Kid's head, and nearly broke.
"Can't you guys do something?"
"Here, use these," said Frat Boy, producing togas from somewhere.
Cheesecake Eater Lad, Entropy Kid and Frat Boy wrapped them around
Inacoustic Kid's body, and them, and Master Blaster, helped carry him up
to Med Lab.
Upstairs, Organic Lass, having heard the call for Transmat, was
ready with a scanner. "Get him onto the bed," she ordered. "Now, get out
of my way."
The LNHers quickly backed off, only Marsha staying near.
Organic Lass scanned Inacoustic Kid, then quickly prepared a
hypospray with a sedative, and injected it into Inacoustic Kid's body.
"What's wrong with him?" cried Marsha.
"What happened?" asked Organic Lass.
"We were down in the cafeteria, hearing Entropy Kid say more than
one thing on a topic, then he just collapsed."
"Aha. I don't need Doctor Stomper here to explain this one," said
Organic Lass. "I think Inacoustic Kid just found a new power, and now he's
paying for it."
_-~-_
38 hours:
Outside the Peril Room, Doctor Stomper, whistling happily, lowered his
shield, and set to work, with an acetelyne torch, to cutting his way into
the main Peril Room circuitry.
The flight.thingee flew over Net.ropolis, and Fan.Boy gained a better idea
of what had happened to the city.
"It was worse," Retcon Lad said. "We've cleared most of the damage
away, but some stores and homes are still trying to fix things that got
smashed when the windows exploded."
Fan.Boy stared. "I did this. All right, yes," he said quickly
before Retcon Lad could say anything. "The cosmic me did this. But, this
is what happens when I get taken over. There's no way I can ever let this
happen again."
"Well, that's why you're letting go."
"But what a cost it's been. A whole city brought to its knees, and
now I give up myself so that can't get trashed like this again. Perhaps I
should have done this sooner."
"Hey, that requires seeing into the future, and, while some of us
can do that, this is really only a small event in the course of history.
No-one would have seen this coming."
"Oh, I don't know," said Fan.Boy, in an off-hand manner. "What if
I was the traitor Contraption Man saw? It's possible."
"I don't think so," replied Retcon Lad.
"All those people," said Fan.Boy, still staring out.
"And it would have been more if it hadn't been for you. Remember,
Professor Bates was ready to take the entire LNH out when you intervened.
Yes, Kismet gained time, but I don't think she could have stood against
him forever. Kid Kirby could have done something, but I'd guess that even
he'd have fallen eventually," said Retcon Lad, pensively.
"Yeah, now that would be an alt.ernate future to see. One where
Fan.Boy reigned over all."
"Well, it's out there, somewhere," Retcon Lad said. "All you have
to do is find it."
"And I'm sure there's one where you are ruling over all," said
Fan.Boy. "Not."
"Hey, it could happen. That's the point."
"Not in this life time, boyo."
"Just drive the flight.thingee."
_-~-_
35 hours:
Doctor Stomper stood on the opposite side of the wall that made up the
back of the Monitoring Room. On the other side where the Transmat
Chambers. However, this wall was also part of the Peril Room, and was
incredibly thick. Doctor Stomper turned and began setting up the
industrial laser.
Marsha slowly awoke, and groaned. Someone was at her side, and pushed
something into her hand. As Marsha's senses returned, she saw Organic Lass
sitting beside her, and a cup of water in her hand. Sitting up on what
turned out to be a bed, she sipped the cool water.
"What happened to me?"
"You fainted," said Organic Lass simply.
"Me?"
"You."
"First time I've ever done that. Wonder why..." The cause came
back to her, and the cup dropped from her fingers. "Inacoustic Kid. Is
he..?"
"He'll be fine."
"You said something about paying for a new power."
"That's right. As far as I can make out, Inacoustic Kid's natural
silencing powers were enhanced by Queen Enterprises, and when we operated
on him, we returned control of his powers to him, but they stayed
enhanced." Looking at Marsha gravely, Organic Lass said "It appears he can
silence superpowers."
"What?"
"Not on any major scale, I'd guess," said Organic Lass. "Entropy
Kid's are hardly major, so I don't think he's ready to take on Dimwiticus
just yet. But, even that small exercise over-exerted his body. It was
already run down from just after the operation, and then he pushed it just
a bit further than it was able to go, and collapsed. He'll be fine with a
bit more rest, and then we can see just what this new power is capable
of."
"I'm not sure it should be capable of anything if it's going to do
that every time to him," Marsha said.
"The first time use must have been hard for him, but it will get
easier as he gets used to it. I can't say how powerful it will turn out to
be, but he should be able to cope with it."
"He must have cared," said Marsha, gazing at Inacoustic Kid's
sleeping form. "To try to help out poor Entropy Kid like that."
"Yes. He's a very caring man."
_-~-_
30 hours:
"I think that's about it for tonight," said Fan.Boy, hiding a yawn.
Retcon Lad stretched. "I'll have to agree with you. Still, we've
done some good today."
Indeed they had. Stopped three riots, put out two fires, and had
rescued some people who had been trapped underneath a collapsed building.
All without Fan.Boy been seen once, which was rather tricky given that he
had to leave the flight.thingee a few times to help Retcon Lad.
As Fan.Boy turned the flight.thingee towards home, he commented
"This is handling really well. Didn't think these things were going to be
repaired for a month."
"Huh? Didn't you know? These are replacements, provided by Queen
Enterprises."
"Odd. Didn't think they were so benevolent. Didn't know they'd be
so public with their donations, either."
"Oh, not many people know," confided Retcon Lad. "I only found out
because I was there when the crafts came in. All most people know is that
we managed to restock ourselves from some hidden supply station."
"You know, I find it very hard to believe that Queen Enterprises
could just give flight.thingees away."
"They can't be given the benefit of doubt?"
"Hey, I've read what they can do. Take over for a minute."
Fan.Boy dived under the control panel, and Retcon Lad was left
scrambling for the controls.
"I hope you know what you're doing under there," said Retcon Lad.
A muffled grunt came from underneath the console. Fan.Boy popped
his head back out. "I've found it. Not too carefully hidden."
"What?" asked Retcon Lad, his concentration mainly on piloting.
"Some sort of device attached to the main control systems. I'll
bet it allows them to take over by remote control."
"Pretty cunning."
"Uh huh, but not cunning enough. I'll just rip it off." Fan.Boy
reached under the console and grabbed something.
"You sure that's wise?" asked Retcon Lad.
Fan.Boy yanked. "We'll find out."
The flight.thingee slowly went into a nose-dive.
Less than one minute later it crashed into Net.ropolis pavement
_-~-_
25 hours:
Doctor Stomper wiped his brow. He reached far into the hole, and pulled on
one last circuit board. Unfortunately, he couldn't get a good grip on it,
so he had to wiggle it back and forth for a while, with only a little give
each way, until it finally fell free in his hand.
Stomper brought it out and dumped it on the ground. That was the
last circuit controlling the Transmat Chambers.
Doctor Stomper yawned, and stretched. Time to pack it in for the
night. Incredible Unsleeping Man, he was not.
Humming under his breath, he went to bed.
_-~-_
20 hours:
Retcon Lad was dead. When his body had passed through the windshield of
the flight.thingee, it had smashed to the ground in an extremely fatal
way.
Or, at least, had been.
His body had in fact been secured by his safety harness, but he
hung in it in such a way that people thought he was dead.
At any rate, Retcon Lad groaned as consciousness crept back in.
He didn't move, and let his nerves scream at him. Eventually, they abated,
and Retcon Lad was able to open his eyes. Apart from one or two blinking
lights, there wasn't much to see.
Reaching out, Retcon Lad thumped the button to activate emergency
lighting, and winced as the red light flared.
He tried to speak, but his mouth had gone dry. After a few painful
dry swallows, he had enough saliva to wet this throat. "Barry?" he
croaked.
No response. He turned his head slowly, and saw that the main
pilot's seat was empty. Had he gone for help? What was the time, anyway?
"Hello? Any one around?"
With much protest from his muscles, Retcon Lad unstrapped the
harness and fell onto the roof. When the flight.thingee had finally
settled, it did so in a way that meant the roof was now the floor,
although it was at a 20 degree angle.
Retcon Lad kicked at the panels above where the pilot's heads
would usually be, and got the emergency supplies out. After drinking some
water, he felt good enough to start attending to his wounds. Mostly cuts
and abrasions. Nothing too bad.
With help from the furniture around him, he stood up, and tried
the radio. Dead. It's times like this that he should remember to carry a
com.thingee. Retcon Lad tried retconning one into his pocket, but found
that it was smashed by the crash. He threw it away.
Painfully he clambered up to the door, and got it to slide
half-open on its second try. He put up a hand to shield his eyes, and
slowly climbed out.
Retcon Lad looked around to see if he could recognise where they
had landed. Unfortunately, he could. Near Hovel Homes. Not a nice
neighborhood.
He spotted a pay phone, but found it disassembled when he got
there. Where was Barry? He should have gotten to the LNH by now.
Retcon Lad rested his head against a wall and tried to think
through his pounding headache.
He was rather surprised the LNH hadn't found them yet. It was now
early morning, and it had been night when they crashed. Someone should
have noticed. Then again, someone should have noticed Inacoustic Kid
missing for a year, he thought wryly.
Retcon Lad slowly realised something. There were no people about.
None at all. Rather surprising after a crash like that. But, and he
couldn't blame them for this, people had probably thought that the crash
was a precursor to a supervillain coming down and beating the crap out of
everyone.
Retcon Lad picked a direction he thought would led him out of the
area, and into a better one, and walked that way, using the wall to keep
him standing.
As he turned a corner, he saw a church, and it was open. He
hurried towards it as best he could. They were bound to have a telephone
in there he could use.
As he got closer, Retcon Lad could hear singing. Obviously a
service of some kind was in progress. But, something, some other sense,
warned him that not all was innocent.
Glad that his jumpsuit would afford him some protection, not
everyone would think he was with the LNH of first sight, Retcon Lad sidled
up to the front door and slipped inside.
The hall inside was large, but not overly so. This wasn't a
cathedral, just a church. The pews were laid out pretty close together,
but Retcon Lad was surprised to see all of them packed. So much so that
latecomers had to stand against the wall. Retcon Lad placed himself by
one, smiled at the brief look in his direction, then peered to make out
what was at the front.
There was a priest of some kind, someone in expensive robes
anyway. There was a pulpit he was speaking from. There was a large altar
nearby. There was a sacrifice on the altar. Retcon Lad almost cried out as
he recognised Fan.Boy's unconscious form.
"When's it happening?" Retcon Lad asked the man next to him, on
the presumption that 'it' was the event that involved Fan.Boy, and
probably not in a good way.
"At noon," the man said. "When the Fan.Dom arrives."
The Fan.Dom? thought Retcon Lad. As in the Fan.Doom of the Alt.Ra?
What the hell was going on here?
He moved away quietly, intending to get out and get to the LNH as
soon as possible.
Another man ran in, and pulled the doors closed behind him.
"That's everyone," he whispered to someone. "Lock the doors."
Retcon Lad slumped against the wall, another wave of dizziness
sweeping over him. This was not good.
_-~-_
15 hours:
Doctor Stomper entered the basement where the HoloDecStations were
located. Although taking a HoloDecStation completely off line was easy
enough, there were a lot of them, and he had to make sure that each one
was out of link with all the others and with the main LNH systems.
It was going to take a while.
_-~-_
14 hours:
Marsha and Inacoustic Kid were back down in the cafeteria, the latter
being told to take things much easier. They were just sitting, staring at
each other, when Fuzzy breezed by.
"mutter mutter mail mutter mutter," they heard briefly, as a
letter fell onto the table in front of them. "I'll give him male duty."
Marsha looked at the letter. It was a plain envelope, but she was
instantly reminded of the last envelope she received.
Opening the letter she found another invitation inside, this one
address to her and Inacoustic Kid.
It was signed "Team Leader."
_-~-_
10 hours:
Retcon Lad snuck another look at his watch. 11:55 am. 5 minutes to go, and
he still wasn't sure as to what was going to happen.
At least he felt better. 5 hours was a long time, and he had, to
his shame, fallen asleep for a few of them, but at least he was feeling up
to performing some action.
Fan.Boy hadn't moved in the slightest, and Retcon Lad was
beginning to worry that everything had proven too much for him. He
wondered if the Peril Room was still active, and if Fan.Boy's death
survival was still working, but he didn't bother hoping for it.
Retcon Lad had pieced together one theory for what was going on
here, but it was a pretty far out one. Based on the people's attitude
towards Fan.Boy, and their hope that the Fan.Dom would turn up, and just
one or two speeches which gave hints in the area, Retcon Lad come to a
very unpleasant conclusion.
To get rid of risks against them, the people here were quite
prepared to sacrifice LNHers, and so stop supervillains from coming here.
And that Fan.Boy had also recently tried to blow the city up definitely
didn't help their opinion towards him, and perhaps that was the final
stroke that drove them to be able to commit such an act.
And there was only one being Retcon Lad could think of that might
want a LNHer sacrificed to it. Alive more than dead. Although sacrifice
wasn't quite the right word. Give was more accurate. These people would
give Fan.Boy to the Fan.Dom, so he could polybag him. In return for...
peace? Assurance that they would be protected? Retcon Lad didn't know.
11:59am. This was it, Retcon Lad thought. Time to move.
Retcon Lad ran for the altar, and, by sheer surprise, jumped over
it, and pulled Fan.Boy off with him, sheltering him behind it.
"What is this!?" roared the priest.
"I'm with the LNH!" yelled Retcon Lad. "Can't you people see what
you're doing?" he shouted. "You're condemning a man to eternal
imprisonment."
"Our lord will be pleased!" ranted the priest. "Two LNHers. This
will be most beneficial for us!"
"Are you kidding? The Fan.Dom is pure evil! You can't trust him to
do anything for you, except maybe collect you!"
12.00pm. The doors to the church exploded inwards, and a figure
could be seen walking through the smoldering debris. As the smoke cleared,
Retcon Lad could make out a man dressed in something akin to a monk's
habit, with the cowl pulled down well over his face.
"What is this?" the figure roared.
"Lord Fan.Dom," said the priest, kneeling. "We offer two cursed
beings from the LNH for your pleasure."
Retcon Lad hurriedly slapped Fan.Boy around the cheeks, but he
remained unconscious. Moaning slightly, Retcon Lad concentrated and
retconned whatever drugs that were in Fan.Boy's body to ones that would
bring him round right.... now!
Fan.Boy's eyes fluttered, and he groaned. "I hate being knocked
out," he muttered.
"Get up," hissed Retcon Lad.
"Wha?"
"The Fan.Dom of the Alt.Ra."
In a flash Fan.Boy was standing and grinning. "Hello there, so
nice to meet a fellow fan. Tell me, you ever get the toy Easily Discovered
Van car?"
"Who are these babbling fools?" the figure asked.
"Do you not know them, Lord?" asked the priest, surprise evident
in his voice. "But you are the Fan.Dom..."
"Tell me, have you been good or bad?"
"This guy is the Fan.Dom?" Fan.Boy whispered to Retcon Lad.
"That's who these guys were hoping for," Retcon Lad replied.
"Who are you?" asked the priest, the people in the church becoming
animated in interest of knowing who had in fact turned up.
The figure was now standing just before the priest, and he
stretched out a hand and touched the priest lightly. "Now we shall see."
The priest looked down at the hand in indignation, then a frown
crossed his face. Quickly followed in horror. Retcon Lad watched in shock
as the priest screamed in agony, then collapsed on the pulpit, dead.
The figure tore off the robe, revealing a black outfit with red
sleeves and a white hood that completely covered his face.
"I am Karmic Death," he announced. "I'm sorry that the Fan.Dom
wasn't able to come, but he just doesn't care about such tiny rabble as
yourselves. And so, rather than waste such a perfect opportunity..."
Karmic Death lunged forward, grabbing a woman in the first row. "I am here
to judge you all!"
The woman screamed, first in panic, and then in horror as her eyes
saw something not from this world, quickly followed by never seeing
anything from this world ever again.
The crowd finally worked out that this was not a turn for the
better, and tried to depart. Unfortunately, due to the large numbers that
had come to worship their... god, the doorway was soon packed full of
people pressing, urgent to get out alive.
Karmic Death reached out and grabbed a man who didn't get out of
the way in time.
"And what of you?" Karmic asked.
The man looked afraid, but soon a look of pleasure grew on his
face. His mouth split wide in a grin of exultation, but he too passed
away, although looking a lot happier than the other two.
"Ah, one of the true people," Karmic chuckled to himself.
Karmic was about to grab someone else when a call from the altar
distracted him. "Hey, try someone who makes a living from kicking your
kind of butt."
Karmic turned to see one of the heroes, the one in a jump-suit,
give the other, who wore spandex, a surprised look. "You've got to stop
doing that sort of thing," Karmic heard.
"Ah, and so we come to the essence of today's topic," Karmic said.
"The heroes from the LNH. Are you truly as pure as you think you are? I
hope so."
"What kind of pervert are you?" Jumpsuit asked.
"I AM NO PERVERT!" screamed Karmic, suddenly jumping into rage.
"I AM YOUR JUDGE! I SHALL SEE IF YOU HAVE LIVED YOUR LIFE PURELY!! I SHALL
BE THE ONE FINAL JUDGE OF ALL!!!"
"Tell me," asked Jumpsuit. "You ever visit Sanity? Even just on a
holiday?"
"I think this might just be a little beyond us," said Spandex. "I
mean, can you fight? I only can when your Author writes me."
"What are you talking about? Just stun him."
"Oh yeah." Spandex turned to him. "&*@&*. *(@(*. *(@@ @)!)* !@*(@.
Uh oh."
"Oh great, just what we need."
"Ah, so you shall submit to me," Karmic said. "There is nothing
you can do."
"Er, don't suppose you feel like falling into a villain cliche and
mind explaining your powers for us. After all we aren't going to live
beyond this, are we?" Jumpsuit said.
"I shall judge you, and the method of judgment shall be
yourselves," said Karmic, still walking slowly towards them. Jumpsuit and
Spandex backed away, but there really wasn't anywhere they could go.
"Your own karma shall decide the methods of your deaths."
"Oh, so like, if you've been good, you'll die happy?" Spandex
asked.
"Oh no. I am kind to people. I balance your karma. If you've been
good, then you must have a lot of bad karma just waiting to happen to you
to make up for all that. And I make that happen. All at once," Karmic
said. "And the fact that it kills you is just a small aside. You will
have your karma balanced. You shall be judged by yourself, and you shall
sentence yourself. And I am merely the method, the judge."
"Er, right," said Jumpsuit. "Okay. That you for that. Always nice
to meet new people, but, we really must rush."
Jumpsuit pulled Spandex to one side, and they began running for
the door. Karmic Death pulled out the blaster with which he had opened the
door, and exploded a seat in front of the pair. They stopped running
immediately, and turned back, resigned.
"You see?" said Karmic. "Either you submit to my judgment, or you
die. It's as simple as that."
"What say we simply pick up a large object, and hit you over the
head with it?" asked Spandex.
Karmic waved the blaster meaningfully. "I'll shoot it."
Jumpsuit and Spandex shared a worried look, then Spandex jumped
away, saying "Looks like you're it."
"Gee, thanks," said Jumpsuit, running towards Karmic Death.
Karmic smiled, and put a hand up to grab him. "Come to me, and
we'll see," he sang, off-key.
Jumpsuit jumped and crashed into him, knocking him down. Karmic
was quicker than he appeared, though, and threw Jumpsuit forward, carrying
him away.
"The sheep try to play with the wolf," said Karmic. "It looks like
the wolf will have to put one of the sheep down quickly in order to fully
savior the kill of the other one."
Jumpsuit managed to stagger to his feet, and thereby placing
himself in the sights of the blaster.
"Say good-night to the folks, Gracie," said Karmic happily,
pulling the trigger, and collapsing on the floor unconscious.
_-~-_
5 hours:
"So, what did you do?" asked Kyoto breathlessly, after hearing Fan.Boy and
Retcon Lad recite the tale.
"Well, while Retcon Lad distracted him, I snuck up behind him with
one of the altar candles and smashed him over the head," said Fan.Boy
smugly.
Retcon Lad gave Fan.Boy a dirty look. "Yeah, well if it wasn't for
you, I wouldn't have died."
"But, you're not dead," pointed out Sister State-The-Obvious.
"That's because the blaster conveniently mis-fired, and only gave
a half-charge to the shot, which merely stunned me, not killing me,"
Retcon Lad... explained.
"It was either you or me, and I don't think I can do that sort of
thing anymore," said Fan.Boy. "You know what happened to my stunning."
"So what happened to Karmic Death?" asked Kid Mysticism.
"We called the police in, and they took care of him. After making
sure his hands were isolated so he couldn't touch anyone, of course," said
Fan.Boy. "They're also looking for the people who were in the church and
willing to sacrifice me, but Retcon Lad can't actually remember anyone
apart from the priest, who's dead, and no-one's coming forward."
"Pretty understandable, really," said Retcon Lad. "But I wouldn't
suggest anyone going near that area for a while." He shuddered. "If they
had actually summoned the Fan.Dom..."
"I dunno," said Fan.Boy. "Could have been fun. Certainly an
inspiration."
"Him? But he's evil incarnate."
"Yeah, but what a collector!"
Doctor Stomper entered the Monitor Room, and nodded a greeting to
wReamhack, who was in there at the moment.
"Everything going all right, doctor?" wReamhack asked.
"Just fine," Stomper replied, ripping a panel off the main
electrical circuitry bank.
"When are we going to get Transmat back?" the hacker asked. "I had
a tricky spot a while ago when Inacoustic Kid collapsed."
"He's all right now, isn't he?"
"Yeah. a couple of the guys ran him up to Med Lab."
"Good. Well, actually, Transmat should be out all week. I'm still
disassembling." To prove his point, Doctor Stomper reached in a yanked a
computer board out. "Gonna be a while," he said.
_-~-_
0 hours:
Doctor Stomper walked into the cafeteria to find, not unsurprisingly, a
party going on.
"What's this?" he asked the nearest person beside him, who turned
out to be Fourth Wall Lass.
"It's a going away party," she said. "For Fan.Boy."
"But he isn't going anywhere."
"No, but his powers are. And it's also the last issue of the
series."
"Do you know where he is? I've come to tell him it's done."
"Oh. Okay, hang on." Putting her fingers to her lips, Fourth Wall
Lass emitted a piercing whistle that brought a halt to the festivities
around her. "Doctor Stomper has an announcement," she said.
Doctor Stomper looked through the crowd, and finally spotted
Fan.Boy. "I have now totally disconnected each of the affected systems,
from each other, and from the main systems. This world is now safe from
any kind of attack like that again. And you are now without your powers."
A cheer went up, and many people slapped Fan.Boy on the back, who
promptly fell on the floor, as much from the effects of the drinks he'd
been indulging in as from the force.
Laughing hands helped him back up again, and he treated them all
to his drunk happiness. "Geez. Thanksh, guyssh," he slurred.
"MAIL!" yelled an indistinct person, and a letter hit Fan.Boy.
"Ow," he said absently, and picked the letter up.
"What is it?" asked Retcon Lad.
As Fan.Boy read the contents, he sobered up.
Splash Page: A scene of partying in the LNH cafeteria. We can see
Retcon Lad and Fan.Boy, the latter holding the letter. He is exclaiming:
"I've been asked to join the Alt.Riders. I'm going to be in a
team!"
"Death of a Fan."
by Jamas Enright
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
NEXT ISSUE: What? There is no next issue. That's it, my story is done.
Look out for my new series, _The Alt.Riders_, coming out when I get it
started.
Hope you've had fun!
Credits:
--------
Mine, not mine. Who cares? Have a drink!
Back to the Index.