______ _________ _____ ____ ____ _______ _____ ___ ___ | | | | / _ \ | \| | | /\ \ / _ \ \ \ / / |BLiP| | |~~~~~ / / \ \ | | | | \/ | / / \ \ \ | / | | | ~~~~~| | ~~~ | | | ____ | / | | | | | | | #8 | | |~~~~~ | ___ | | | | | | | /\ ~| \ \ / / | | | | | | | | | | | |\ | | | | ~~ / \ ~ / | | ~~~~~~ ~~~~ ~~~~ ~~~~ ~~~~ ~~~~ ~~~~ ~~~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ [The cover has Fan.Boy and Deductive Logic Man staring at something below the bottom of the cover. They are front lit, and have expressions of shock on their faces. Behind them is the vague shape of a laboratory.] -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Kid Recap: In case everyone is confused by now, I'll just skim over the details. Hey, I want to the see the two Pantas. In _Fan.Boy #7_, Fan.Boy and Panta went to the beach. Fan.Boy discovered that Panta wasn't all that she seemed, and brought her back to the LNHQ. Meanwhile, in _Tales of the LNH #332_, Panta got up, fought with a Mecha-Spider, and met Panta, who was with Fan.Boy, while going downstairs. Deductive Logic Man and Fan.Boy convinced the Pantas they wanted a medical checkup, and we now join them outside the Sickbay. _-~-_ In the LNHQ, Fan.Boy and Deductive Logic Man were standing outside the Sick Bay, talking. They had been shooed out of the Sick Bay by Organic Lass, so she could run some tests on the Pantas that DLM and F.B had brought her. "What do we do if Organic Lass can't tell?" Fan.Boy asked. Deductive Logic Man shrugged. "We could always resort to asking them questions, hoping that one of them will slip up." "I don't think so. All the others have been perfect imitations." "What others?" DLM asked sharply. "I've been checking my past stories. It seems that this 'morph has been several people, all being them perfectly, down to exactly the same personality." "Any clues to its origin?" "Lessee. The first time it changed it was Contraption Man. He came back to the LNH in _LNH Comics Presents #25_. There was a comment at the end about some woman in Sin.ci.net.ty." DLM blinked. Wow. With Fan.Boy putting the comic titles in underscores and actually pronouncing the full stops in city names, this was going to take a while. Still, with his ability to read past stories, it should be somewhat easier to get information. "Any other comics refer to Sin.ci.net.ty?" "There's the other series my author writes. _Elsewheres_. Goes on a bit about some angsting guy called the Phantom Walker, the Queen Bee and Queen Enterprises." "The Ultimate Ninja said that the Queen had been killed." Fan.Boy shook his head. "Nope. Seems that a clone was involved." Deductive Logic Man sighed. "I think you better start at the beginning and tell me everything you know." And so Fan.Boy did. _-~-_ The door to the Sick Bay finally opened, and Organic Lass led a Panta out. This Panta was looking rather happy with herself. Her tail was waving about, and she had a large grin on her furry face. Deductive Logic Man and Fan.Boy went inside to see a Panta still sitting on a medical bed. Organic Lass came back in. "It wasn't easy," she said. "But I was finally able to tell." Deductive Logic Man nodded. "Unstability. On the molecular level." Organic Lass looked at DLM in surprise. "Yes, but how..." DLM indicated Fan.Boy, who was standing beside him. "He was able to tell me. At least, he gave me enough clues to work it out for myself." He drew Organic Lass off to one side. "I'd like you to check something for me, if you would." As they went to the medical computer, Fan.Boy walked over to Panta and sat down beside her. "What happens now?" she asked. "What do you mean?" "I'm an imposter. I'm not real." Her tail lay limp on the bed. Fan.Boy took her hand. He could feel her claws digging into his hand. "I will always love you. Whoever you are," he said, feeling a lump rise in his throat. The look of happiness on Panta's face made him blush. The next sound he was aware of was a hiss. He looked up to see Organic Lass injecting Panta with something. Panta's eyes slowly closed, and she slumped against Fan.Boy. Fan.Boy was shocked. "What did you do to her?" "Just a sedative," Organic Lass replied. Fan.Boy looked up and saw the faces of Deductive Logic Man and Organic Lass, both looking not unkindly at him. "You know what's going on, don't you?" he challenged. "Yes," replied DLM. "It's time for a trip to Sin.ci.net.ty." Organic Lass gasped, bringing their attention back to Panta's body. What used to be Panta's body. It blurred, changed, whitened. What was left was an albino body, with a hint of the vestiges of a mouth, ears and eyes. "This must be the base structure. The template," breathed Organic Lass in awe. However, the body changed again, lengthening, becoming someone else. "It must change during sleep," informed Organic Lass. "Usually," inserted DLM. The final product wore a completely white outfit. "Squeaky Clean," said Fan.Boy. Another blur. "Token Girl," sand DLM. The changes were quickening. Blur. "Warbabe?" Blur. "LAGNETO!?" said Organic Lass, thrown by this latest development. "What? Villains as well? What has she been doing?" asked Deductive Logic Man, mostly to himself. Blur. "Tsar Chasm." "Why is this happening?" asked Fan.Boy. "Why all these changes now?" Organic Lass ran her fingers through her hair. "Perhaps the body is allergic to something in the sedative," she ventured. "Change it quickly," said DLM. While Organic Lass prepared another injection, there was another change. "Wha? Still Tsar Chasm?" said Fan.Boy. DLM smiled. "Obviously she didn't know that Kid G was Tsar Chasm." "What?" Organic Lass inject the body with something different. A final change occurred, this time lasting longer. The body of Hellary lay on the medical bed. "Come on, Fan.Boy," said DLM, pulling at him. "We'd better get to a flight.thingee quickly." _-~-_ [The comic now switches to a black and white colour scheme.] The flight.thingee flew in towards the tallest building in Sin.ci.net.ty. It circled once or twice before landing on the roof. Two figures got out and looked around. A door opened, and someone dressed in uniform came out of a lift that had arrived. He motioned for the two arrivals to enter the lift, which they did. As they descended, Deductive Logic Man considered what he had learnt. While flying here, he had spent the time on the flight.thingee's computer, accessing the 'net for information on Queen Enterprises. This had meant that Fan.Boy was left driving, but DLM was wise enough to set the automatic pilot before takeoff. One thing he had learnt was that Queen Enterprises was always accessible to any who came to it. Most likely they had picked up the flight.thingee on some kind of radar, and sent the guard up when it came near the roof. Still, that was rather considerate of them. The lift doors opened and the guard stepped out. "If you wouldn't mind, sirs, please come this way. Mr. Robert Discumby is expecting you." He lead the way, and DLM and Fan.Boy followed, Fan.Boy constantly looking around at the expensive furnishings applied to just a corridor. They were shown into what seemed to be a plush waiting room. Suitably stuffed chairs and loungers were available, and there was even a small kitchenette off to one side. DLM sat down in one of the chairs and flipped idly through some magazines that had congregated on a nearby table. Fan.Boy wandered around the room, staring at the paintings and plot plants that decorated it. "Who's this Robert Discumby?" Fan.Boy asked while he walked. "He's in charge of Public Relations," replied DLM. "He's usually the one to contact for any obvious dealings with Queen Enterprises." "And now he just so happens to be ready for us?" "When they found out that a flight.thingee was landing, I expect that they decided that the LNH was due some immediate personal attention," said DLM, smiling slightly. "Robert Discumby. Robert Discumby. Reminds me of something," Fan.Boy muttered. "Perhaps it was something you read recently," said DLM, leaning backwards and molding his back to the chair. Further musings were lost when a medium-sized man with fair curly hair entered the room. "Hello," he said, stretching out a hand towards DLM. "It's not often that we get a visit from the esteemed Legion of Net.Heroes. What brings you this time?" "We're here on the behalf of the Ultimate Ninja," said DLM, ignoring Fan.Boy gasp of surprise. "Recently, a being arrived at Legion Headquarters, a polymorph. We have reason to believe that it came from here." "Why, certainly. In fact, if I remember properly, I think the the Queen, herself, sent a letter along with It-Star -" "It-Star?" interrupted DLM. "What we call the 'morph," replied Discumby. "Anyway, that should cover all you know." "Well, we would like to know some more," said DLM. "For example, how did you create such a creature? Where did you get the genetic tissue from?" "Ah, well, I'm just a front man. I can't really provide you with that sort of information." "Well, then, perhaps you could lead us to someone who can." Discumby started to look apprehensive. He began to back away. "Perhaps I could find someone to help you. I'll be back in a moment." He ducked out a side door. "Well, that was short," said Deductive Logic Man. "What do you mean, 'We're here on behalf of the Ultimate Ninja'?" asked Fan.Boy. DLM raised an eyebrow. "Haven't you ever heard of a bluff?" Fan.Boy looked down at the floor. "Yes. Of course." DLM stood in the middle of the room, looking pointedly at his watch, tapping his foot, and scanning the walls. Fan.Boy followed his gaze and looked at the walls, but could find nothing of interest. He heard DLM mutter to himself "There, there and... there." "What?" he whispered to DLM. DLM shrugged. "We're being monitored. I was just looking for the cameras." Fan.Boy looked surprise. "Did you need to say that so loud?" "Oh, I don't doubt that this place is well wired, either," replied DLM. He checked his watch for a final time. "Five minutes. Time's up. Let's go hunting and see how long it takes to annoy them." He strode towards the door Discumby left by. Fan.Boy leapt forwards and grabbed his arm. "Here. You just can't go wandering about like that. That's... that's impolite." DLM shook his head and sighed. "Really. Well, I can't think of a better way of getting a look around here. I'm sure they'll find us if we go to far." He pulled the side door open and nearly walked into a brick wall. "What the?" That was fast work indeed. He thumped the wall once or twice, but it was real enough. "Right then." He went to the third door, the one Discumby had arrived through originally. This door had a short passageway behind it. DLM stuck his head through, but couldn't see anything of interest. He slipped out and, followed by an apprehensive Fan.Boy, prowled the corridors of Queen Enterprises. _-~-_ "KEEP OUT" was the sign on the door, which, as everyone knows, is the surest way of getting people to enter. However the one thing, well, two things stopping Deductive Logic Man and Fan.Boy from snooping inside were the two guards in front of it. DLM eyed them from behind a corner and planned. He turned to Fan.Boy. "Go and stun them." "What?" DLM sighed. "I want to have a look inside that room. Go talk to them, and stun them." Fan.Boy acquired a blank look. "What should I talk to them about?" "Tell them about the Ellipsis King," DLM said, pushing Fan.Boy out into the guards' sight. "Oh. Right." Fan.Boy walked towards the guards, trying to fit a smile on his face. "Hey guys, ever hear of a really cool villain called the Ellipsis King? He dead now, well, really an elemental, as much as the net could be said to have elements... Anyway, he had this really cool power of pronouncing ellipsis to create things, you know ellipses don't you? They go like-" DLM hurriedly put his fingers in his ears and couched down, attempting to block out Fan.Boy's drone. He squeezed his eyes shut for good measure and was therefore taken slightly by surprise when he felt a tap on his shoulder. He opened his eyes and saw Fan.Boy standing over him. Fan.Boy said something, but DLM didn't hear him. He took his fingers out of his ears. Fan.Boy realised what had happened and repeated himself. "They're just standing there with amazed looks on their faces. I guess I can tell a really good story." "Something like that," muttered DLM as he moved Fan.Boy to one side and went to examine the door. It was electronically locked, but, after a few trial sequences, Deductive Logic Man deduced the correct code and punched it in. He heard a sigh of escaping gas, and the door slowly opened. It was revealed to be a bulkhead, 30 centimetres thick. A blast of cold air hit DLM's face. Once he overcame the chill, DLM stepped through the doorway and into a laboratory of sorts. He glanced around to make sure there was no-one else around, then he cautiously moved further in. It was a large room, the walls lined with metal shelves, which contained jars full of something DLM couldn't quite make out at that moment. Taking up the space in the room was rows and rows of metal benches, with strange looking apparatus sitting on them. There were several beakers bubbling, and smoke poured from various sources. DLM shivered as the raw air penetrated his outfit. "What is this place?" asked Fan.Boy as DLM heard him enter. "I'm not quite sure yet," DLM replied. "But, I'm sure Doctor Stomper would have a field day in here." He stooped to peer in a nearby jar. It was filled with something pink that pulsed horribly as he examined it. Disgust washed over him and he hurriedly looked away. He wasn't quite sure what it was, wasn't quite sure that he wanted to know what it was, but the logical possibilities were already ticking over in his mind. He moved from bench to bench, scrutinising and studying the objects that lay there. The most likely reason for all this welled up in his mind, but he shied away from it. Unfortunately, conformation came when he heard Fan.boy call out "Hey, these are full of body parts." DLM glanced up to see Fan.Boy standing over by the walls, gazing at the jars. He slowly moved to join him, picking his way carefully through the mess. The last thing DLM wanted to do was knock over any of this stuff. Who knows what he might set loose. He arrived at Fan.Boy's side just as Fan.Boy reached out and picked a jar up. As Fan.Boy held the jar up, DLM could see something like a foetus inside. It stared back at DLM, and DLM, through his own fear and disgust, was struck by how pitiful the thing was. It moved unexpectedly causing Fan.Boy to drop it. The jar shattered on the floor, releasing the hideous creature inside. Lying amongst shards and viscous fluid, the being shrieked, searing DLM's soul. Something like blood started pouring from its orifices, and the body collapsed like a dead shell. DLM looked up to met Fan.Boy's eyes, set in a too pale face. As one they turned for the main door, only to find more guards entering through it. "What are you doing here? This is a restricted area." Someone in a lab coat came in and spotted the corpse on the floor. "My god, what have you done?" DLM splutterer from lack of breath, still shaken by what he saw, but managed to find a voice. "What have _we_ done? What have _you_ been doing? You're creating monstrosities, bringing things into being that were never meant to be seen by nature. You are gods to travesties!" "They've seen to much, shoot them," the lab coat commanded. DLM tried to run and duck behind the benches, but slipped on spilled fluid. He crashed onto the floor, his face landing beside the dead body. He stared at it as he heard Fan.Boy, who had stood there like a frozen rabbit, get shot by something. Fan.Boy fell backwards, down onto the remains, sending pieces of it flying. DLM could feel vomit rising in his gorge, but tried to get to his feet. He was on his knees when the dart hit. _-~-_ "What do we do with them?" "What can we do? They'll know they're missing." "Right. We'll have to send them back. Have you called for the Heir?" "Yes. She'll be here soon." "Is the treatment ready?" "In a few minutes. The doctors are scrubbing now." "They'll go back, but they wont be going back whole." _-~-_ [We return you to your regularly coloured format.] Deductive Logic Man slowly aroused. Light formed fuzzy patterns on his eyelids. He opened his eyes, but too much light flooded his retina and he shut his eyes in reflex. He heard a cool voice saying "Just relax. You've been unconscious for a few days. Don't try anything too quickly." DLM cracked his eyes open, and let the light filter in. Soon, he felt able to open them fully. Figures waved fuzzily in front of his vision, but features soon dissembled themselves into proper images. Standing over him, looking down at him concernedly, was Organic Lass. DLM had seen worse visions in his time. "What happened?" he croaked. His throat flamed up, too dry. Organic Lass feed him a few sips of cool water, and the burning eased. "We found you on the roof, just lying there. Our senses picked up some craft of some sort, which landed, but soon departed. We found you two just lying there." "How's... how's..." "Fan.Boy? He'll be all right. In fact, he awake now." He heard Fan.Boy's voice say "I believe the proper phrase is: 'Did anyone get the number of that truck?'" DLM gave a tired chuckle at the cliche. Organic Lass continued. "You've had some surgery performed on you. Very fine work, possibly better than what we can do. Parts of your brain have been operated on. How do you feel?" DLM probed at his mind. He felt all right, just weary. He ran his memory back and tried to ascertain what happened. He remembered... he frowned. Something wasn't right. "I met with Robert Discumby. We talked for a while, and he told us that Queen Enterprises had sent the polymorph as a gift. Apart from minor confusion it'll cause as various people, it's harmless. It doesn't have any powers, except mental skills." "Yeah," Fan.Boy said. "That's what I remember too." "But, that can't be right. Why have we had surgery performed on us?" "What happened after your meeting?" asked Organic Lass. "We left in the flight.thingee, and.. it crashed." Organic Lass shook her head. "But, that's not right. We know it's not." DLM sighed. "I don't think we'll be able to prove any of this. Except.. Fan.Boy, what does this issue say?" "What?" "This issue. What does it say happened? You can read it, can't you?" Fan.Boy shook his head. "Not yet. From our point of view, it's just being written. I can only read it once it's posted, after the story's finished." DLM cursed silently. He didn't really think it would do any good though. No judge would ever accept a comic book as admissible evidence. They'd just have to keep an eye on Queen Enterprises from now on. Splash page: The Sick Bay. DLM in the foreground, lying on a bed, with Organic Lass sitting beside him. Behind them can be seen Fan.Boy. DLM is holding his head in his hands. A thought bubble from DLM reads 'They messed with my head, and there's not a damn thing I can do about it'. "It-Star Light. It-Star Bright." by Jamas Enright -------------------------------------------------------------------------- NEXT ISSUE: Erm, don't really know. Could be a cross-over with Limp-Asparagus Lad. Could be a two-parter. Could be something to do with Flame Wars III. -------- Credits: Fan.Boy - Mine Panta - Hubert Bartels' Deductive Logic Man - wReam's Organic Lass - Rebecca Drayer's (used without permission) Kid Recap created by Josh Geurink Robert Discumby and Queen Enterprises are owned by the Queen Bee.Back to the Index.