Giant Pile of Idiots

Well, this weekend, I saw Titan: A.E. and Shaft, unlike the vast majority of people in the world, who were morons and merely went to see Shaft. Unfortunately for the rest of, the majority of these people were apparently reviewers, and the vast majority of movie sites and reviews I've seen vilified Titan for being unoriginal while loving Shaft for being... er... unoriginal.


What? Are all the reviewers in the world complete morons? Apparently we hold science fiction movies up to such a high standard that an admittedly middle of the road example like Titan engenders a lot of people going "thppt" while an equally middle of the road movie involving lots of guns and a bad soundtrack engenders bowing, scraping, and a savage frenzy of burbling about what a baaaaaad mutha--

("Shut yo' mouth!")

Er, anyway. Worst of this bunch is the self-proclaimed village idiot for the global village of the Internet, Jon "Weasel Boy" Katz, the guy who raves about even the most worthless, flatulently mediocre episodes of shows like the X-Files or Star Trek: Voyager, who is the person whom I tap for my example of idiotic reviewing earlier. Yes, Titan could stand a bit of improvement, but... how could anyone like Shaft better? SHAFT, for God's sake! How could anyone go for a shining example of the giant orgy of self-buggery that is the current remake fad in Hollywood over a movie that at least tries hard to be worth your money and isn't obviously a rip-off? Clearly, they are all morons.

Go watch Titan this weekend, or I shall savage you with a penwiper. Also, Chicken Run, because it's not cartoons, it's animation. Animation, damn your eyes!

Also, I was forced to watch Virus over the weekend while I was at my parents' house for Father's Day. That was a bad, bad movie. It wasn't too bad up until about three-fifths of the way through, when any semblance of intelligence went skipping lazily out the porthole. When they decide not to call for help to save them from the evil alien menace, it was really bad. When they actually got it talking, and the conversation went something like this - "Why are you doing this?" "Species is noxious, violent, dangerous to the body of the whole." "Which species?" "Man." it was so bad I had to leave. I mean, really. Urgh. I just can't go on.

Lastly, this week's new comics apparently contain some real stinkers. First, we've got a new Purgatori series (Purgatori! Because there weren't enough bad-girl rip-offs of Lady Death and Vampirella already!), a manga-style Vampirella (NNNOOOOOOOO...!) and... and...

And then there's a title that engenders the application of forehead to table just from reading its' name. Slut Girl. Now there's a hero for the nineties.


And people wonder why comics have such a bad rep.

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