Path: netcom.com!csus.edu!wupost!CSM560.smsu.edu!vma.smsu.edu!CHM173S From: CHM173S@vma.smsu.edu (Chris Meadows) Newsgroups: alt.pub.dragons-inn Subject: [AU] A Day in the Life Date: Mon, 24 May 93 09:52:44 CDT Organization: Net.Purgatory until June 7th. :( Lines: 392 Message-ID: <16BD88AEC.CHM173S@vma.smsu.edu> NNTP-Posting-Host: vma.smsu.edu Keywords: Andrea Sheryl Jay unicorn transition rescue new friend X-Newsreader: NNR/VM S_1.3.2 ADMIN: I'm still away until June 7th. I just managed to get back up here temporarily to put this out. See you in June! ----- DEDICATION: This segment is dedicated to Liralen Li, who has been a big help to me in my stories, and whose terse comments on whatever I churn out are always worth a great deal to me. ----- In our last episodes, Andrea, Sheryl, and Jake Pitzar fought off a brigand attack on the small abandoned house where they're staying the night, and set up shifts for the rest of the night. Andrea has been undergoing some strange...changes. The next morning found Andrea staring out the window as the sun slowly rose on the eastern horizon. There had been no incidents during the night, and she had been startled to find that Jake had stood watch almost the whole night, only waking her up about an hour ago. "You looked like you needed it," was all he'd said before retiring himself. Now Andrea sat there, half-asleep. She yawned, and Sheryl came trotting over. "Good morning, sister!" she nickered brightly. Andrea jumped. "What?" Sheryl nickered again, and this time Andrea couldn't understand it. "Wait a minute..." Andrea said aloud. "Yesterday morning I was able to understand you, too, when I was only half-awake. But when I was fully awake, I couldn't. Hmmm. Let's try a little experiment." As Jake stirred, she said, "But let's try it outside. C'mon, Sheryl." They stepped outdoors, where the rising sun was touching the dew-tipped grass with sparkles of light. "Now...let's try to understand each other..." she said, half-closing her eyes, trying to concentrate on sleep. Then something inside her SHIFTED, somehow, and her right hand started to pulse coolly. When she opened her eyes everything looked...different. Sharper, somehow, and clearer. Though Andrea didn't know it, her eyes had just become electric blue, matching Sheryl's for color. "Sister, can you understand me?" Sheryl whinnied. "Yes!" Andrea cried. "Yes, yes I can!" She knelt and embraced Sheryl. Tears came to her eyes. For the first time in over ten years, she could actually understand what her sister was saying! Sheryl seemed to be not a little emotional herself. "Sheryl..." Andrea said. "Are you well? Is there anything wrong, anything that's bothering you? I've never been able to ask that before and expect any kind of an answer." Sheryl tossed her head. "No," she replied. "You've always been the best sister a unicorn could hope to have." "Good. That's the one thing that I really wanted to know. But tell me, how did we get here?" Andrea feared she knew the answer already, but she wanted independant confirmation from Sheryl. "It's just as that man said," Sheryl nickered. "You became a unicorn, and ran. I'm worried." Andrea shook her head, becoming more agitated. "But how could that be? What has happened to me?" "I don't know. Evil one's curse?" "But we deflected it." "Maybe not all." Andrea shook her head violently, more in the manner of an equine tossing its head than the human gesture of denial. "It can't be...it just can't..." "Sister, you're changing!" Sheryl whinnied nervously. And Andrea looked down at her arms to see that they were lengthening, her fingers melding together into hooves, arms and legs stiffening...and then, suddenly, she stood on four legs, looking out through the eyes of a unicorn. "I--I am a unicorn!" Andrea nickered in amazement, confusion, and horror. "So you are," Sheryl agreed. "But what am I going to do?" "Run!" Sheryl suggested exuberantly. "Let's go!" "Seeing as I don't have any other pressing engagements, I might as well," Andrea whinnied wryly. And they were off! <> Andrea and Sheryl galloped together, and the landscape seemed to blur behind them. They ran through grassy meadows, over hills and through valleys, under the trees of an old forest, and alongside a river for several miles. Andrea had never known a feeling like this, complete and utter freedom, unmarred by human cares and concerns. She was beginning to appreciate why Sheryl would rather stay a 'corn. THONK! Andrea felt a sharp pain in her right flank. She stumbled, fell over, got unsteadily to her feet. She was horrified to find an arrow sticking out of her hindquarter! "Got it!" a voice came from the bushes. "But what IS it?" "It's a unicorn!" The two hunters emerged from the bushes. They wore leather jerkins, and carried bows and hunting knives. "Not a deer at all. Better!" "Sheryl, run!" Andrea whinnied. "Get out of here, get Jake's help!" "Get that other one!" But before the hunters could move, Sheryl's horn began to glow, releasing a sparkling cloud that cascaded down over her, and then she was gone. Andrea wished she knew how to do that. "Quick, get it before it escapes!" The two man ran forward, and Andrea stepped back. As they came closer, Andrea stepped back farther--then the ground gave way beneath her, and she was suddenly in the river! Caught in the current, she was carried swiftly downstream, as she struggled to keep her head above the water. Jay ran up the street as fast as his limping legs would carry him, out past the shops at the edge of town and into the woods, toward his secret hiding-place. The blond-haired, lanky fourteen-year-old was battered and bruised from his stepfather's latest beating, and holding back tears from the pain as he stumbled down the trail, tripping over some roots but getting up again and moving onward. He was going to leave this town. Yes, he would do just that. There was nothing here for him, anyway, except an abusive stepfather and the scorn of all the other kids. Nothing would hold him here any longer. Maybe he would go to Generica! The river was just ahead. There he could wash off the blood and dirt before moving onward to his hidden place. It flowed through the forest, and, it was said, on into the Great Blue. Jay didn't know this for certain; he'd never been there, after all. Jay stumbled down the dirt embankment into the river ford with a splash. The soothing coolness was a welcome sensation after the beating he had just received. And then he heard the sound of something struggling in the water. He looked upstream, and gasped. There was a horse or something in the water, fighting the current. It was swimming over toward shore...toward the very ford Jay was sitting next to, in fact. It looked very bedraggled, almost spent...Jay moved forward to help it ashore. A horse! It could be his ticket to Generica! And then he saw its horn. "A unicorn!" Jay breathed, even as he lent his support to the mare, helping her ashore. She stood on the embankment, head drooping, mane and tail hanging in sodden clumps. There was an arrow sticking out of her right flank. "Gods, who would shoot an arrow into a unicorn?" Jay breathed as he examined it closely. The mare swung her head around, observing him with soulful blue eyes. She nickered weakly. "Don't worry, girl..." Jay said. "Hmmm..." He looked at the arrow. He'd watched the local cleric remove arrows plenty of times. He THOUGHT he could do it... "This is prob'ly going to hurt a lot." The 'corn nodded. Or so Jay thought (did unicorns nod? Were they that intelligent?). "All right, then..." Jay reached down and grasped the arrow by the shaft. The mare flinched, but didn't bolt. Gently he tugged, gradually working the arrow free of the wound with the head intact. "There!" he announced triumphantly, holding the gory arrow up for her inspection. He threw it in the river. "Hmmm. What can I do about that wound?" Then looking down at his own shirt, torn and bloody from from the most recent beating, he smiled. "Well, this shirt's torn up anyway." He tore a strip off of it, washed it in the river, and used the sap from a nearby pine tree to make it stick to the unicorn's flank where the wound was. Looking at the remains of the shirt, Jay shrugged, and tore it off. Casting it in the river, he said, "Better off without it." Of course, it also made the crisscrossing pattern of scars from old beatings and welts from more recent ones show up on his chest and back. The unicorn still stood there weakly. "We have to get you to some shelter before someone else comes along and notices you. And I think I have just the place. Follow me." He started walking along the shore, looked back and saw that the unicorn hadn't started moving. He walked back to her. "Come on, you can make it...it's only a little ways along, and it's nice and warm and dry in there," he pleaded. "Come on...please?" Jay didn't know why, but he felt he had to save this 'corn, he was responsible for her safety. He was extremely happy when she started to come along, stumbling a bit, head down, limping, but still coming. "It's just a little farther," Jay said, glancing back over his shoulder to be sure the 'corn was keeping up. They rounded a bend, and Jay pushed some bushes aside, revealing a small cave. "Come in here, please." Without even looking up, the unicorn stepped inside. Jay pulled the bushes back into place behind him, and lit a lamp hanging on the side of the cave. Illuminated by the glow was a small room, with two old wooden stalls, a campfire spot, and a small spring in the middle of one of the walls. The stalls were filled with hay, old but dry. There was also a small chest up against one of the walls. Jay believed this to be an old smugglers' haven from bygone days. "You can sleep in here until you're feeling better," Jay said. "I'm going to be in here a lot, too. Oh, by the way, my name's Jay." The unicorn stumbled into the stall, lay down on the soft hay, and was soon breathing regularly, in a deep sleep. Jay set to building a fire to warm the room. Then he searched the corner for where some old rags were, and started rubbing down the wet, sleeping 'corn so she wouldn't catch a chill. She stirred a little in her sleep, but didn't wake. With her wound and the exertion of her struggle against the river, she was going to be under for a while. As Jay finished, his own wounds started to ache, and he sat down by the fire, which was by now beginning to crackle quite nicely. As he looked at the unicorn mare, he wondered what he was going to do. The thought of betraying her to those who would pay dearly for a unicorn never even crossed his mind, of course. Jay could see that he would have to return to the town despite his vow to leave and not go back, to obtain food and medicine. He sighed. He'd just have to avoid his stepfather, he guessed. After a few moments' rest, Jay stood, and walked out of the cave. Andrea woke in strange surroundings, feeling strangely weak. She opened her eyes to look around--and realized that she was a unicorn! "Oooh...what happened..." she groaned, though all an onlooker would have heard was a pained whinny. "Sheryl?" And then she started to remember... Recalling the arrow wound, Andrea winced, and swung her head back to take a look. It had been bandaged...but who had...? Then she dimly recalled the young boy who had helped her out of the river, pulled the arrow out, and led her here, to this shelter. He'd said his name was Jay, she remembered... The fire in the room was dying away to embers, the smoke floating up through a small hole in the ceiling through which a bit of sunlight was also visible. The boy was nowhere in sight. And Sheryl was also not around. Andrea remembered sending her for help from Jake, and hoped she'd made it, for Sheryl's own sake. When she tried to stand up, Andrea discovered that her leg was painfully stiff, and she ached all over from the exertion of struggling against the river current. She snorted in pain, but finally managed to get to her feet, bits of hay sticking to her. "I'd better change back to human form and get out of here." Andrea concentrated on becoming human...and nothing happened! She tried again, tried harder...she felt SOMETHING, but she didn't change. She tossed her head, panic in her eyes. Was it because of her wound, her lack of control over the change, or some more insidious effect of the curse? Andrea had no way of knowing! Then the bushes that covered the cave mouth rustled, and Andrea backed up in the stall, head lowered, horn pointing toward the young man who came in, a new shirt and knapsack on his back. "Hey, easy, girl, it's just me, Jay." Andrea relaxed as the young man came forward. "Hmm, the fire's going down, better fix that back up." He put the satchel on the ground and added more wood to the fire. "So...you new around here?" Jay asked, opening the backpack. Andrea snorted, demonstrating the extent of her conversational abilities. "Oh, right, you can't talk. You seem smart enough, though." Andrea WISHED she could demonstrate just how smart she was, but she couldn't talk, and she couldn't change back. Now she was truly beginning to appreciate how Sheryl had to have felt for all these years. "I brought some healing salve and bandages for that cut of yours." He chuckled. "The cleric thought it was for me, for obvious reasons. I didn't tell him I had a unicorn in my cave." He laughed. "As if he'd believe me if I did." He set the jar down, and pulled out a currycomb and brush. "I had to swipe these from the stalls. But they'll never miss them." Next out of the bag was a sack of oats. "I didn't know what unicorns eat, so I took some grain from the stall while I was at it. There should be enough for a couple of meals for you here." He pulled out something else--a rather large hunting knife. He strapped it on. "Since I don't plan to go back there for much longer, I took this. If they can't find me, they can't beat me." Andrea chuckled, though it came out as a neigh. That had been her philosophy during her training days so long ago, when she had taken whatever she could get away with from the Selactican shops. "Anyway, first I'd better put some of this on your cut." He uncapped the jar of salve and approached her, pulling off the bandage. "Okay, it doesn't seem to be infected. Ah, okay now, here we go...good girl." He placed a fresh bandage on Andrea's wound, then stepped back. "How's that?" Andrea nickered and nodded her head. It really did feel better! The salve seemed to have some sort of numbing property, which made it easier to move that leg. It was probably helping it heal, too. "Good." He picked up the comb and brush. "Now I'll just go over you with these...if you have no objections, of course." Andrea snorted. "I'll take that as a 'yes,' Jay said, moving in closer to her and starting to brush. "You really do look a mess, you know." Andrea relaxed as Jay brushed and combed her, working out the snarls in her mane and tail and getting all the dirt out of her coat. It felt great, like a backrub might feel to a human. Maybe being a unicorn wasn't so bad after all...? As Jay worked her over, Andrea glanced back at him. He'd taken his shirt off as he worked, revealing scars and deep welts that made Andrea wince to look at. Gods, but those had to HURT! If only there was something she could DO...But wait a minute, she was a unicorn, maybe there WAS! Andrea reached out toward him with her horn. Jay looked up. "Huh?" But he didn't move, he just stood there, letting Andrea touch him. Now how did Sheryl do this? It surely wasn't just the touch...it had to involve concentration, too, didn't it? Andrea relaxed, let herself sense the flow of magic within herself. Now, if she could just redirect some of that energy through her horn...Yes, she could do it! Andrea's horn began to glow, and the glow gradually spread over Jay's abraded back, chest, arms, and legs. Under this glow, the lesions gradually closed up, leaving no trace behind them. Jay gasped. "Wow! he said, speechless. "You healed me!" He hugged her around her neck. "Oh, thank you, unicorn! Thank you." Andrea nickered softly, and hoped he would continue with his brushing. He did, working faster now that he didn't have those welts slowing him up. When he was finished, he sat back against the wall and grinned at her. "Hey, you're really pretty now that you're all groomed," he said. And it was true, Andrea saw, examining herself in the pool as she drank from the spring. She was once more the archetypal unicorn, gleaming white with electric blue eyes, luxuriant mane and tail, and gleaming bright horn and hooves, one of the most beautiful creatures ever seen. "Hey, not bad!" Andrea nickered, though of course Jay couldn't understand her. "I look like a real unicorn!" "You're probably pretty hungry, aren't you?" Jay asked. Andrea hadn't thought about it, but now that she did she realized that her stomach was quite empty. She nodded, nickering hungrily. "I thought so." Jay picked up the sack of oats and crossed to the feed trough set into one of the cavern walls. "Hope you don't mind oats...they were all I could get." Andrea was a little doubtful, but then, Sheryl seemed to like them okay, and she WAS hungry enough to eat just about anything...She trotted over to the trough and waited impatiently as he poured some of the oats into it. She took a bite, chewed experimentally..."Wow!" Andrea nickered. "These are really good!" She started eating ravenously. "I guess that means you like them, then," said Jay, who had only heard a couple of pleased nickers. Andrea nodded, nearly bumping her head on the wall, and continued eating. Jay laughed, and took some tools out of his backpack and started tinkering around with a rusty old padlock. It was a set of lockpicks, Andrea noticed, and he was trying to get it open. And he was going about it all wrong. Andrea nickered, "No...you're not doing it right!" but Jay just heard the nicker and thought she was curious. "You wonder what I'm doing? I'm just practicing lockpicking. I learned a bit from a travelling thief, before the people in town drove him out. I hope I can become good enough at it to make a living by it wherever I decide to go from here." He hadn't learned enough, that was for sure! Andrea wished she could tell him the right way, but she was stuck as a unicorn and could not talk. Maybe if she tried again to change back...no, she couldn't do it! All she could do was hope that she would eventually revert without trying, as she had in the past. Jay continued to try to get the lock to open, and finally gave up on it in disgust. "As you can see, I guess have a lot to learn." Andrea nickered and nodded. Jay looked up. "Oh, I guess you may not approve of my trying to learn a thief's trade, being a unicorn and all. But if you don't, you sure haven't indicated it. Funny, I'd always heard unicorns were supposed to be obsessed with good and all that." Andrea snorted. If only he knew about how she and Sheryl had been together for over ten years...then he'd see that a thief and a unicorn wasn't such an unlikely companionship. It all depended on the unicorn. Jay finally put the lock and tools aside. "I guess I'm just not getting it," he said. "I'll try again later." Andrea thought that might probably be a good idea. The boy walked over to the cave entrance, shoved the bushes that camouflaged it aside. "Say, would you like to graze a little? There's some pretty good grass out here by the river." "Why not?" Andrea nickered, walking toward the entrance. Jay held the bushes aside for Andrea to pass, then followed her and let them flop back into place. Andrea looked around, and saw that there was quite a bit of grass in the fifty or so feet between the cave entrance and the riverside. She stepped forward, put her head down, and started grazing. And she found that grass actually tasted DELICIOUS. Why hadn't she ever thought of eating it before? ("Because you weren't a unicorn then, silly!" she told herself wryly.) It sure was good; she could really fill up this way! Several hours passed, as Andrea grazed and enjoyed the afternoon sunlight, and Jay sat against a tree, knees drawn up to his chest, watching her. As the sun warmed her, Andrea could feel her strength coming back, but she was still rather tired from the day's events and sore from her wound. As the sun set on the western horizon, she was only too glad to follow Jay back into the small cave, where he built up the fire while she lay down to rest in the soft hay. As the fire crackled, Jay found a spot of his own in the hay. "Good night, unicorn," he said. Andrea nickered softly in response, and they both fell asleep. Sometime in the night, Andrea woke up to find Jay snuggled up against her back. She went back to sleep. -- Chris Meadows || NOTICE: I am still away until June 7. CHM173S@SMSVMA.BITNET || I managed to get back up here for a CHM173S@VMA.SMSU.EDU || couple of hours so that I could post CMEADOWS@NYX.CS.DU.EDU || a few things. See ya June 7th! Newsgroups: alt.pub.dragons-inn Path: netcom.com!netcomsv!decwrl!uunet!pilchuck!li From: li@Data-IO.COM (Phyllis Rostykus) Subject: Kadrys & Kardia: Don't Let It Show Message-ID: <1993Jun5.172906.19013@data-io.com> Sender: news@data-io.com (The News) Organization: Data I/O Corporation Date: Sat, 5 Jun 1993 17:29:06 GMT Lines: 369 [ADMIN: Posted on behalf of Andrea Evans. By both of us.] --- Daylight. The prosaic beams of the sun had returned to Generica, replacing the wild polychrome sparkling of the wizard torches, the warm flicker of the bonfires and braziers, the shadows where anything could happen. The dawn had passed, and the morning, though cloudy, was well-advanced, when a man crossed the Plaza of Glittering Steel, moving toward the Dragon's Inn. Strangely, he was dressed only in a pair of dark trousers, his bared torso gleaming pale in the grey, shadowless light. Kadrys slipped into the Inn, breathing a faint sigh of relief as its familiar, welcoming shadows stroked the pain of the sun away from his skin. He vanished briefly into the storeroom behind the bar where he kept a few belongings, emerging dressed and with the tangled aftereffects of the party combed out of his thick black hair. He was about to head upstairs, when he was approached by the greybearded man he had first met at Luthor and Serene's housewarming. The one who'd only give his name as "Captain". He grinned at Kadrys, threw a conspiratorial glance upstairs. "That Kardia. Lovely lass, isn't she?" "Uhh, yes, she is..." Kadrys muttered, frowning slightly. 'Who needs telepathy or town criers when there's the good old fashioned rumour mill?' he wondered a little acerbically to himself. Captain sidled closer, widened the grin a touch. "I understand she's got no relatives here. So I was wondering... Could you use a man, a fatherly sort of fellow, someone like _me_, to ... give her away?" Kadrys blinked. He had had a long and very eventful night, and this man had just lost him completely. "..._What?_" he asked eventually. "_You_ know. Give her away. Like her own father would, (if she had him here, poor girl). ...At your _wedding_!" 'Our _wedding_...' Kadrys thought, half dazed by the idea. Some tired and semihysterical part of him wanted to scream with laughter at the idea, at the thought of half of Generica gathered for one of those solemn, pompous, _blessed_ ceremonies, and having to put up with the - ah, spectacular - consequences of dragging _him_ across a hallowed threshold. Another tiny part of him just wanted to scream. Unbelievable, what people could bring themselves to expect of others, on the flimsiest evidence. Absolutely incredible. And absolutely inevitable. ...And understandable. The annoying part was, he could not really bring himself to _be_ annoyed at the townsfolk's blithe assumption. They were so obviously wishing him happiness, that on the whole, he could not help but feel strangely touched by their interest, however uncomfortable it also made him. At last he managed to dredge up some halting words. "Umm, I'll have to think about it. I'll let you know..." He backed away and darted upstairs, as much to escape any more wellwishers, as to check on Kardia. But it was at times like this that he cursed his sensitive ears. He could not close them to the knowing chuckles that came from at least five of the corners in the room below, could not avoid hearing Mary Littlefair comment sentimentally to the room at large, "Ahh, that's nice, isn't it. Him hurrying up to see her so soon. Solicitous, that's what I call it." "Well I'd like to tell ya what _I_ call it, ma'am..." came the rejoinder from one of the townsfolk, the leer plain in his voice. "Hush now, none of that. He's a gentleman, that one, and she's a real lady, as polite and quiet as anyone I've ever had under this roof, not like some I could name, young man!" He hastened down the hallway, the talk below vanishing from his attention, displaced by the thought of Kardia, of the concern he had felt for her all night and all morning, since the moment she had left his presence, weeping in a confusion of griefs. Silently, he paused outside her door. This time, his hearing proved itself a boon instead of a curse. He could hear clearly through the thick timber of the door, the regular, deep breathing that spoke of sleep. He nodded, smiling to himself, glad that she was getting the rest she had so obviously needed. He would not do anything to disturb her. Far better to wait and see her later, when she was rested. He turned soundlessly and descended the stairs once more, taking his usual seat and doing his best to appear to be obviously moody and lost in thought. Anything to keep more people from asking him about this wedding, at least until Kardia arrived. It wasn't until about noon that Kardia woke up. The soft sound of a spring rain made it even harder to think about getting up, but the scent of food from the main taproom made her stomach grumble. She sighed and rubbed rather puffy eyes. Her nose wrinkled and she shook her head ruefully. She splashed cold water on her eyes while washing up before breakfast. It didn't help much. She dressed and hoped that Littlefair would have ice to bring the swelling down. The puffy flesh of her eyes was uncomfortable and it embarrassed her to have such an obvious sign of her crying of the night before, so she kept her head down until she got down to the main pub room. At the counter, she asked a tired looking Littlefair, "Please, may I have some ice?" Rowan made no comment about her eyes, but she could see the concerned look in his eyes. "It's O.K." she said, "I was just crying, some." She chuckled to show him, "I'm better now." Littlefair produced a cup with chunks of broken-off ice in it. "Will this do?" "Mmm... perfect. Thank you." "Take care, lass." he said kindly. She was able to give him a real smile then and he smiled back at her in return. She turned away from the counter and saw Kadrys at a table. He wasn't looking at her. She thought about running back to her room, but then shook her head. If her looks were all that had attracted him to her than it would be better to know that. She doubted that, though, from what she remembered of the night before, even as part of her wished that it was so. It would have been easier if she were sure he didn't care about her. Kadrys did not look surprised when he looked at her as she approached his table. As she got closer, though, his eyes narrowed just a touch at seeing her face. She sat down across from him and managed a laugh. "Sorry..." Kardia's hands fluttered a little around her face. "I... I was just crying last night and... I'm better now. It's just these stupid tear ducts..." She sighed in exasperation. "The ice should help bring the swelling down..." She pulled a clean sock out of her waist bag and put the chunks of ice down in the toe and pressed the coldness to one eye with one hand. She sighed softly at just how good it felt against the heat. She was slightly surprised when Kadrys gently touched her other hand, which lay on the table. At her start, he began to draw away. She then deliberately curled her slender fingers around his ivory white ones. A current not so different than the one she'd felt dancing with him the night before flowed gently through the touch. She swallowed and tried to find the courage to say what she had to say. "Is there something you'd like for breakfast?" said Mary Littlefair's cheerful voice. The gray haired matron was beaming at the hands clasped on the table. Kardia started and then grinned at the woman. "Yes, please. I'd really like some oatmeal with some sugar, cream, and any fruit you might have left over from yesterday... and maybe some cider or juice of some sort?" "Certainly, sweets for the sweet, and it certainly is nice to see someone capable of cheering Mister Kadrys up." Mary bustled away chuckling. Kardia blinked after the departing figure and then laughed aloud when she saw the glint of amusement in Kadrys' eyes. "Has this been going on all morning?" Kadrys blinked solemnly at her, "Ohh, it's worse than that... there's even talk of a wedding." "Oh, no." At Kardia's completely shocked look he started laughing. She groaned in exasperation and then joined him in his laughter. "You had me going there..." "But it's true." She quieted and looked at him. At the look in his eyes, she blushed and looked down at the table. "I... I realized last night that there are some things I need to tell you. First, I am not from this world." He simply nodded. "Seems to be a lot of us, I guess. Second, I was married already, once, to... to Alistair Xvaramene. He..." her voice dropped to almost a whisper. "He taught me many things and gave me..." she swallowed, fighting to say what needed to be said. "Anyway... he died three seasons ago. I... I am not even that sure how long ago it was 'cause I don't know how the calendars here work or what day it was, exactly, that I was dumped on Nexus." She took a deep breath and was relieved to find that when she looked up she could meet Kadrys' eyes. "Heck... I didn't care, then." "I guess that's the natural lead in to the third thing. I'm not exactly sure that I'm... well.. over him, yet. There are times when I'm so... lonely." Her hand tightened just a little on his, "And I'm still somewhat uncertain if the reasons I'm attracted to you are solely for you or if it's because you remind me of him. It's been so long since I've had to be on my own I also don't know if I'm just running to you because I feel like I have to have someone take care of me." "I... I guess I'm telling you these things because I promised you that I wouldn't hurt you, wouldn't betray anything you gave me. And you deserve to know at least as much as I know of the truth." The wet, cold sock was set on the table between them, and she put both her hands on his. "Last night I realized that I'd probably hate both of us if I stepped directly into a relationship with you without knowing if I could stand on my own. If I couldn't support myself, couldn't deal with life with only friends instead of a lover. Alistair always seemed so much stronger and more capable than I, so I always just leaned on him and took it for granted. I guess..." she paused and the next phrase came out a little harder than she intended, "I guess I'm tired of being helpless." Slowly, he nodded. There was no trace of shock from him at her vehemence, only silent understanding. "Which brings me to a question. Last night, when you... kissed me, why didn't you tell me that it was going to be far more than just me donating a pint of plasma, of liquid and cells? That it would be..." Kardia was lost for words. Then she grinned at the memory, "That it would be a sharing of minds? You called it my giving myself to you. I hadn't been ready for that." Kadrys' glance dropped to their clasped hands for a moment. When his eyes met hers once more, they were full of wordless apology. His voice was a murmur barely louder than the rain. "I thought you knew. When I told you I was a vampire, you didn't even seem all that surprised. You knew what the blood meant to me, I thought you knew what the taking of it would mean to you." His voice dropped even lower, an ashamed wisp of sound, "At first, I guessed that that was part of the reason behind your offer: that you wanted it, the pleasure of the embrace, the closeness behind it." He frowned and looked away, his face tight with chagrin at his mistake. 'I should have known better,' he thought bleakly to himself, 'I should have known her offer was just too good: that nobody could really accept everything I am _that_ calmly, that completely, that quickly.' The pain rose in him like a cold salt wave, the mourning for a sweet, swift acceptance he thought he had finally found, that he now knew he could never have had. He forced the grief down with the expertise of long, bitter practise. He had to be calm. For her. So, he was. Kardia's hands tightened on his. She reached out, hesitantly and then, remembering how she had touched him the night before she stroked him on the chin, brought his gaze back to meet hers. There was no condemnation on her face, no anger, "That makes sense. You couldn't have guessed that." It was a long moment before his chagrined expression faded. At last, he nodded in reluctant agreement. "I knew how deeply wrong that guess was, the moment our minds met. You had never expected what was happening to you. I could have backed away at once, but the contact had already been made. I decided to stay, to show you something of my feelings, give you something of my own self in recompense." She shook her head. "I'm sorry. I..." she blushed and looked away, her hands loosening on his. "I'm glad you did that. Very much so. You gave me something that no one else could have any other way, you gave me my courage back. My... belief in my capability to do something when I thought I was helpless. You gave me more than just yourself in the exchange that followed, you gave me back a piece of *my* self." At these words, he smiled softly, gratefully at her. The expression was a strange contrast to the black intensity of his stare, in its own way almost as compelling as gaze. "...And after all, _was_ it really such a terrible experience?" he whispered. "When you had been prepared for pain, had even thought there was a chance of falling victim to my curse?" She laughed softly, "No... it was... amazing." Kardia took a very deep breath. "It was pretty much beyond anything I could have imagined." Her eyes softened, "The pleasure..." her hands tightened on his. "... it was more than anything I've ever experienced in my life." Her smile bent just a touch wry. "And I'll admit that I'm a little afraid of that. Afraid that I might become addicted to that pleasure. Come to depend on you for it. That frightens me still." Kadrys bowed his head, his face falling into shadow. Too much of what she said had cut too close to his heart. The need to resist the seduction of pleasure - gods in hell, how well did he understand _that_, he who could smell living blood with every breath he took, he who had to fight down the rage of his thirst every night of his unlife, stop himself from killing with every contact he made. And the horror of helplessness, of exposure of your mind to an outsider? How well, how very recently, he had tasted of _that_. Only the night before, he had been forced for the first time in his aeons-long existence, to open the ultimate depths of his soul, to give himself completely, to another. The precious sovereignty over himself that he had fought the madness and the millenia to preserve, he had finally had to abandon. It had taken all of his strength, coupled with the desperation of knowing that his friend had been corrupted in some critical way, unreachable by any other means, before Kadrys could bring himself to risk that exposure, that vulnerability. Indeed, the final cost to his difficult, lonely survival, of that surrender might never be known. He had been profoundly shocked at what he had felt when their melding was abruptly severed. He, Kadrys, the outsider, the loner, the solitary, had ached with deep grief and loss at the separation. No matter how he had tried to deny it and rationalise it since, he could not escape the knowledge that -- contrary to everything he had ever believed, no, _known_, about himself -- he had _loved_ it: the union, the togetherness, the becoming more than his own single self. Even, truth to tell, the moment of yielding to the merging itself: he had been expecting, had been prepared to fight down, panic, fear, revulsion. He had been entirely unprepared for his own final acceptance. Something deep, something absolutely vital to his soul's centre, had been touched and transformed by the experience. He knew the necessity for that merging had been absolute, would choose to do it again, even knowing its aftermath. This did not mean that the risk he had accepted was a simple one. The implications extended farther than his foresight could reach. What if, because of that instant of togetherness, he would find the coming endless solitude a tiny, crucial bit harder to bear? There had been so many times in the black reaches of his past when his loneliness had pushed him right to the brink... Only time would tell. All he could tell now was, that much as he owed 'Raelf, yes, much as he loved 'Raelf and much as he had loved the experience of sharing his own soul with him, Kadrys could not help wishing in his secret heart that their merging had not been necessary. And, despite Raffi's early efforts to turn it into a one-way debt and payment, their melding had in the end been on equal terms. This was a far cry from Kardia's situation. She had been _held_ inside his power. That the contact had always been the tender embrace of a lover, could not alter the essential imbalance between them. The fact that he cared deeply for her, would do nothing ever to harm her, did not remove the knowledge that, had he chosen, that embrace could without effort have become an irresistible stranglehold. No wonder she felt overwhelmed, lost, even slightly afraid. In her circumstances, he knew he would. He drew a long, deep breath and slowly raised his head. His tones were even and his eyes as they met hers were calm and clear. "What happened last night was - too much, too fast, too soon. I understand. I sympathise with your situation..." 'More than you know,' he added silently. "...You're a long way from home. You're grieving for your lost love. You still have much to come to terms with. You need room to breathe, time to think. A chance to find out who you really are, deep down. A chance to grow, out of the shadow of a protector. If I were you, I'd want the same." He bowed his head in a single slow nod, a gesture of acquiescence, graceful and unforced. Kardia sighed softly in relief. "...As you wish." he continued. "Consider me a friend, just that, and nothing more. Unless and until you should ever, in some distant time, decide to change your mind." Kardia's eyes narrowed just a touch at the phrasing. "Nothing more? But I don't think that a relationship can be built on anything _less_ than a friendship..." His eyebrows lifted fractionally and he gave a faint nod of agreement. "That's so true... Kardia, you are very wise. Far wiser than many who I have seen mistake the action of other glands for that of their heart." he added with a twist to the corner of his mouth, an ironic expression which instantly vanished before he resumed. "Friendship _is_ the best basis for love. Vital for lasting love." Suddenly he flashed her a bright, crooked grin, breaking the solemn mood. "Besides, it's a pretty damn wonderful thing in itself, wouldn't you say? ...And please, _don't_ worry about me for a moment. I have _no_ cause for complaint, believe me. It was a pleasure... it'll be a privilege, to be your friend." At that moment, Mary appeared in the kitchen doorway with Kardia's oatmeal. Kadrys rose silently to his feet. Kardia looked up at him with clear eyes. "I'll let you enjoy your - ah, brunch" he grinned, "- in peace. Goodbye..." Though it only took a moment for his hands to slip out of her grasp, the cool smoothness of his touch seemed to linger on her skin, as he smiled at her, and turned away, and left the Inn. (If it's getting harder to face every day, don't let it show. Don't let it show. Though it's getting harder to take what they say, just let it go. Just let it go.) "And if it hurts when they mention my name, say you don't know me. And if it helps when they say I'm to blame, say you don't own me." (Even if you feel you've got nothing to hide, keep it inside of you. Don't give in. Don't tell them anything. Don't let it... Don't let it show.) - The Alan Parsons Project -- Liralen Li | "Looking down on empty streets, all she can see are li@inigo.Data-IO.com | the dreams all made solid, are the dreams made real." aka Phyllis Rostykus | - "Mercy Street" by Peter Gabriel