A Rose For Corwin -- A Celia Story

A Rose For Corwin

A Celia McGovern Story
Copyright 1996 by Deb Atwood
It wasn't an easy situation.

I had grown up thinking my parents were simple elderly folk. Then, eight years after my arrival in Amber, I learned that Random had been keeping a secret from me. He and a few others knew the truth. And when I searched for that truth, I found Corwin.

I met him at a time when my world had turned upside down. I had been blind since birth, and I had recently been injured and lost my hearing as well. He accepted me immediately as his daughter, and we spent time together while he read me his chronicles. We got along wonderfully, and I was thrilled to find a father I didn't know I had.

Then Dworkin intervened, and told me I had to return to the past in order to correct a mistake that had been made. Corwin could not travel with me, nor could Madoc, my love, as both existed already in the past. I had to go. Dworkin restored my hearing in exchange for my sense of taste, and then I slipped between the centuries to a time when Corwin was still my own age.

Deirdre was among the first of my family that I met there and then, and at the age of 19 she was sweetly innocent and nervous. I knew how my father cared for her, and determined to take care of her myself as best I could. Together we tried to unravel the mysteries of time, and the Paradox that surrounded ourselves.

I had to tell her some of what Corwin had explained to me. You see, I knew that sometime in what was now our future, Eric would take Corwin and exile him to Earth. I was born there, not long before he regained his memory. In order for me to be born, my father had to go to hell and back. That was one part of history we didn't dare change. I didn't tell Deirdre who caused Corwin's hell, merely that it would happen and that we couldn't act against it. But that perhaps we could help make certain that he stayed alive to once again make his part of history during Patternfall.

Still, I felt as if so much had been stolen from me when I slipped into the past. I had only just fallen in love with Madoc, while he had loved me forever, and now, I loved him and he had to learn to love me. And I had only just met my father, and now I could not greet him as daughter. But still, it was important to me to know who he was, and to try to help him in any way I can.

I found him during my first year in Ambrium, while I was pregnant with my daughter, Vialle. "Corwin." I could recognize him from knowing him in the future, but he didn't move quite as I expected. His youth screamed at me through his body language. But he was still Corwin.

"Yes?" There was a note in curiosity in his voice, and he had stopped moving. I imagined him looking at me curiously, wondering why this pregnant woman had stopped him in the halls of the castle.

"I wished to introduce myself. My name is Celia." I held out my hand and waited, hoping he'd approached.

"I am charmed." He bowed over my hand, brushing his lips across the back. His courtliness was correct, but not as embellished or suave as Eric's. The differences between the brothers was striking. Yet, there was something similar about all of them, Deirdre, Eric and Corwin.

"May we talk?" I motioned down the hall, waiting.

There was a pause, then a slight sound. "Ah, you are the blind girl. The friend of Deirdre's."

"Exactly." I smiled at him. He took my elbow and led me down the hall, heading for a sitting room nearby. "That is a part of why I wished to speak with you."

He shut the door behind us. "Really?" I didn't stop to identify the note in his voice. I suspected I already had heard the reason.

"Yes." I slipped a hand into my pocket and drew forth a brooch which I kept cradled in my hand. I ran my fingers over the curls of the silver casting, feeling its familiarity. "You care for her, don't you? Quite a bit."

He hesitated before speaking. "She is my sister."

"I know." I tried to let him know without saying that I did know. I wasn't sure if Corwin adored her as much now as he would in the future, but the deep affection he had felt for her had been evident when he read me his chronicles of the war. I knew what they would both go through in times to come, and I couldn't bring myself to tell either of them what would happen. I could hint at half-truths and do my best to make it as easy as possible. But certain things, like Corwin's banishment, had to happen. And other things, like Deirdre's death, could perhaps be prevented.

"What did you wish to say?" There was a slight wall between us, as he held something of himself back from me.

"I have come to love Deirdre as if she were a sister," I said softly. "She is a wonderful person, although often unsure of her place in things."

"You almost look like you could be her sister," he spoke slowly. I had already been told before that the resemblance was there. After all, she and my father looked alike, and there was some definite resemblance between my father and I. And Deirdre had told me that we shared a similar eye color, not to mention our slender builds and our height. I suspected I knew the reason.

"I have been told that my mother may have looked like her," I admitted. "I look like my mother." And Corwin had been his amnesiac state, looking for someone he couldn't remember, when he found my mother. It had all made sense once he told me his story.

There was a silence then, as he waited for me to continue. But I couldn't figure out how to say what I needed to say. How to explain our relationship without telling him the truth.

How to apologize for letting him go through the hell to come, when I could possibly prevent it.

Instead, I simply held out my hand, revealing the brooch on my palm. It was a delicate silver rose with a single thorn. I had spent a lot of time working on it, and it was a Trump of myself without a single trace of my own visage within it. He took it from me, still silent.

"I have been told you prefer black and silver," I explained, "and that you have some fondness for roses."

"What does this have to do with Deirdre?" I heard him stand and walk away.

I touched the other piece in my pocket. This was a tiny casting dangling from a heavy silver chain. It would fall well below the collar of his shirt, invisible to casual observation. I dangled it from my hand, the small dolphin swimming through the air. "That rose is my symbol. And this dolphin is Deirdre's. If you wear both, you will be able to reach either of us should you need to."

He approached me, and I could smell the heavy scent of old smoke lingering around him as he stood there. Then he slipped the chain from my hand. "Wear them. Why?"

"The future ahead is a difficult one, and it will take all our ability to bring those we love through it safely." I gentled what I said with a smile. "These are Trump. Concentrate to contact me, or to contact Deirdre. Should there be a problem, please contact me immediately. I will do anything within my power to help."

I heard the jingle of the charm as he fastened it about his neck, and I knew the exact place where it would fall on him. When he had hugged me, before I slipped back into the past, I had felt it still hanging there. Even after her death he wore it. I wondered if he remembered then who had given them to him. Or if I was simply some strange pregnant lady who had found him in the hallway when he was younger, and then disappeared.

I searched my charm bracelet to find Madoc's charm. ~Love, I need to come home.~

"Celia?" Corwin was about to ask me something. I didn't know what that was, but if it was about the future, I didn't trust myself to get into that conversation.

"Take care of her, Corwin," I whispered. Then I reached out to Madoc and stepped through to him. I had done my best. Now I just needed to watch as we moved forward into the future. With any luck, if he ever knew I knew what would happen to him, he would forgive me someday. Contributor: Deb Allen (Deb_Allen@fac.com)
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