DATING - the process of spending enormous amounts of money, time, and energy to get better acquainted with a person whom you don't especially like now, but will learn to like a lot less.

ATTRACTION - the act of associating horniness with a particular person.

LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT - what occurs when two extremely horny people meet.

BIRTH CONTROL - avoiding pregnancy through such tactics as taking a pill, inserting a diaphram, using a condom, and dating repulsive men.

EASY - a term used to decrribe a woman who has the sexual morals of a man.

EYE CONTACT - a method utilized by a single woman to communicate to a man that she is interested in him. Despite being advised to do so, many woman have difficulty looking a man directly in the eyes, not necessarily due to the shyness, but usually due to the fact that a woman's eyes are not located in her chest.

FRIEND - a member of the opposite sex who is unattractive or has some other flaw which makes sleeping with him/her totally unappealing.

INDIFFERENCE - a woman's feeling towards a man, which is interpreted to by the man as "playing hard to get."

INTERESTING - a word a man uses to describe a woman who lets him do all the talking.

IRRITATING HABITS - what the endearing little qualities that initially attract two people to each other turn into after a few months together.

LAW OF RELATIONSHIPS - the less you care about a given man, the harder he is to get rid of.

LAW OF RELATIVITY - how attractive a given person appears to be is directly proportionate to how unattractive your date is.

NYMPHOMANIAC - a man's term for a woman who wants to have sex more often than he does.

POTATO CHIPS - the hor d'oeurves served at a party given by a man.

SOBER - a condition in which it is almost impossible to fall in love.