From gallent_g@JPMORGAN.COM Fri Nov 19 13:07:01 1993
Date: Fri, 19 Nov 1993 11:03:12 U
From: "Gallent, G." 
To: Multiple recipients of list GIGGLES 
Subject: Abort, Retry, Ignore (Adaptation of "The Raven")

 Abort, Retry, Ignore

 Once upon a midnight dreary,  fingers cramped and vision bleary,
 System manuals piled high and wasted paper on the floor,
 Longing for the warmth of bedsheets,
 Still I sat there, doing spreadsheets:
 Having reached the bottom line,
 I took a floppy from the drawer.
 Typing with a steady hand,  I then invoked the SAVE command
 But got instead a reprimand: it read "Abort, Retry, Ignore".

 Was this some occult illusion? Some maniacal intrusion?
 These were choices Solomon himself had never faced before.
 Carefully, I weighed my options.
 These three seemed to be the top ones.
 Clearly, I must now adopt one -
 Choose : "Abort, Retry, Ignore".

 With my fingers pale and trembling,
 Slowly toward the keyboard bending,
 Longing for a happy ending, hoping all would be restored,
 Praying for some guarantee
 Finally I pressed a key --
 But on the screen what did I see?
 Again: "Abort, Retry, Ignore".

 I tried to catch the chips of-guard --
 I pressed again, but twice as hard.
 Luck was just not in the cards,
 I saw what I had seen before.
 Now I typed in desperation,
 Trying random combinations.
 Still there came the incantation -
 Choose: "Abort, Retry, Ignore".

 There I sat, distraught, exhausted,  by my own machine accosted;
 Getting up,  I turned away and paced across the office floor.
 And then I saw an awful sight,
 A bold and blinding flash of light,
 A lightning bolt that cut the night and shook me to my very core.
 The PC screen collapsed an died,
 "Oh no -- my database", I cried.
 I thought I heard a voice reply,
 "You'll see your data-- Nevermore!"

 To this day I do not know
 The place to which our data goes
 Perhaps it goes to Heaven where the angels have it stored.
 But as for productivity - well,
 I fear it has gone straight to Hell.
 And that's the tale I have to tell -
 Your choice: "Abort, Retry, Ignore".