| Schmaltz | 6 |
| Violence | 7 |
| Romance | 5 |
| Nudity and Sex | 3 |
| Plot | 7 |
| Buckets o' Blood | 3 |
| Terror | 0 |
Link in the Internet Movie Database
Synopsis: The Potter family has just moved to a new apartment complex, and the children aren't happy. It seems that there just isn't much to do around here. Remember the old saying about wishing? No, not 'your face will stick that way' -- more along the lines of 'be careful what you wish for'. Soon enough, a Troll King has taken possession of Wendy Potter and is using her form to slowly convert the tenants of the tenement to his way of thinking, which is Green... very Green. Only Harry Potter Junior and an elderly witch named Eunice St Clair can stand against the encroaching tide of the dark fae.
Commentary: Be warned, grasshopper... there are some films wherein madness lies. This is indeed one of them for several reasons. The first... you and this movie may be mutually incompatible. Just as your computer must possess certain qualities before it can run some software, you too might not load and run this film. Without further ado, here are the Troll viewer requirements!
| Love of B-Movies? | Yes |
| Ability to Enjoy an Uneven Film? | Yes |
| Love of Fairy-tales? | Yes |
| SENSE OF FUN REQUIRED OR TROLL WILL NOT RUN! |
If you meet all of the requirements herein, then you may well enjoy
Troll. Troll is a wonderful little sleeper film which guides the
viewer through the life of a rather awkward young man who's all alone in a
strange new world. But enough about that -- you're not watching the film
for Harry Potter Jr. Heck no, in fact his acting's one of the most dire
things about this film. Instead, you're watching it for the mood-inspiring
music, especially during a reading of "The Faerie Queen". You're watching
it for the visuals which, while only one step up from Ghoulies, are
used in such a way that the magic of the movie cannot be denied. You're
watching it for the rich back history whose surface is only barely
scratched, more's the shame. And most of all, you're watching it for
Julia-Louise Dreyfuss very nearly in the altogether, running through the
faerie forest that's just happened to appear in her apartment. Yes, I'm
sure the landlord must have had many words for her later.
Which brings me very neatly to a point of contention I have with this
film. If you are like me -- and God alone knows that you certainly do not
want to be, but pay attention anyway... if you are like
me, then you have a certain affinity for the various nature myths which
our ancestors have scribed. If you're really incredibly a lot like me,
then you are captivated by stories and movies about dryads and other
woodland nymphs. During the course of this film, Julia-Louise Dreyfuss
becomes a wood-nymph. This isn't a spoiler, not in the real sense -- this
film follows classic slasher-movie format only in that it broadcasts who
is going to 'get it next' on all frequencies and leaves you the viewer
wondering 'why'. However, that's tangential and such stray thoughts will be
punished. Ahem. She becomes a wood-nymph, and the effect is quite nicely
done for the period. Her garb -- such as it is -- does indeed suggest that
she's now a mistress of the woods, and Dreyfuss exceeds most of the other
actors in this film when she conveys her character's utter joy and love of
life, nature and most of all, how little she cares for the trappings of
her prior existence. If she had only remained still, she would have
carried off the effect beautifully. But sadly, Dreyfuss attempts to run
through the woods. So let us discourse briefly upon the notion of
.
Flitting, my friend, is an essential component to the overall effect of
the dryad. The very word suggests a light, easy, almost silent gait
through the trees which leaves no sign of her passing save for a momentary
and teasing glimpse which the flitter allows an unwary passer-by to catch.
If captured on film as intended, flitting is a thing of beauty to watch,
and clinches my ability to believe that yes, this is a woodland spirit.
Julia-Louise Dreyfuss is a beautiful woman and a talented actress. But make
no mistake: she is incapable of flitting. Instead, she runs through the
woods like a frumpy teenager late for her next class and struggling to
make it while laden down with books and other trappings of the school
existence. This is not to say that Dreyfuss is graceless while in motion
but... well, in truth, yes it is. Her running leaves very much to be
desired, and sullies the good name of flitting everywhere. Had this movie
found an actress who could flit, then it would truly have a place in the
eternal archives of all that is good and true. Instead, however, it's a
fairly nice midsummer-evening rental for when you could use a bit of magic
in your life.
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