| Schmaltz | 7 |
| Violence | 7 |
| Romance | 8 |
| Nudity and Sex | 1 |
| Plot | 6 |
| Buckets o' Blood | 5 |
| Terror | 2 |
Link in the Internet movie database
Synopsis: Backstory unleashed! In the second installment of George Lucas' daring new adventure serial, a good long while has passed since the first episode. We're introduced to this missing time via a remarkably narrative process which Lucas pioneered in his first Star Wars movie; to wit, a scroll of words which marches up the screen and away from the audience while classical-esque music (performed by the extremely talented newcomer John Walter) absolutely drums you into the right frame of mind for sci-fi action fantasy. We learn that Obi-Wan (Ewan "The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return." McGregor) Kenobi has become a full Jedi Knight in his own right, and that the hitherto very young Annakin (Hayden "Are You Afraid of the Dark? Well, are you, Punk?" Christensen) Skywalker studies at his side in order to use the Force to become far more arrogant and whiney than a normal man could dream. Meanwhile, Padmie (Natalie "At Least I Wasn't In Mars Attacks, Oh Wait, I was" Portman) Amidala has grown... not at all, having clearly employed the Psycho-Power given to all Democratically Elected Queens (???) to retain her youthful vigour, as well as her original actress. We discover that spooky, scary stuff is happening with the Dark Side that not even Master (Frank "Ribbit" Oz) Yoda can fathom. We discover that clones are due to attack before the movie runs its entire 142 minute course! And we discover that Christopher Lee has managed to glom onto -way- too many wonderful roles in ultra cool films (Sleepy Hollow, Lord of the Rings and now this one) for us not to celebrate (Hey, know what would be cool? If that guy, what's his name... the one who was always trying to kill Lee in those Hammer films... ah... oh yeah, Peter Cushion... got a role in one of these Star Wars movies somewhere along the line. That'd be sweet). And we learn that the Gungans have made Jar-Jar (Ahmed "Stomp" Best) Binks an ambassador! This really proves that those Gungans know what they're doing, and can recognize talent when they see it. Let's face it, folks, we know that this Star Wars franchise is going to run six movies (if not nine) and personally I'm holding out hopes that Jar-Jar turns out to be the hero of the final film. Think about it. He's everything a hero should be: wise, fast-talking, erudite, bold, has an appetite for adventure and best of all, is skilled in the mighty whip (okay, tongue)!
A lot happens in this movie. There's so much to it, and yet while I'd like to tell you what goes on, most of it actually approaches Spoiler territory (though far be it from the toy and ad execs to respect the sanctity of spoiler information in their packaging of the film). Trust me on this, however: there is action, plot-development, action, surprise and action aplenty in this film.
Commentary: Like many fans (and by 'many', I mean 'two'), I really enjoyed The Phantom Menace, though I was never fully satisfied with it. As a long-time fan of the Star Wars franchise (hmmm, I've been one since seeing A New Hope at the age of four), I expect a certain degree of panache from my Star Wars films.
Well believe you me, Attack of the Clones delivers. Everything I wanted out of a Star Wars film is there, in a beautifully packaged Space Opera parcel... and best of all, for an action film Attack of the Clones does not fall into the recent-day trap of believing that motion, explosion and quips can sustain an audience's interest for more than ten minutes' time. Of particular delight to fen of the Star Wars universe is that, while we have tossed around phrases like 'Clone Wars' and 'The Republic' for years and years and years, only now do we truly find out what these words mean. It's rare that a series like this can retain so many surprises after the fen have had a long, long chance to pick it apart, so enjoy them while they last... as we only have one episode to go!
I'd recommend this film to almost anyone who enjoys a good space opera. I'd even recommend it for those people who quail away from space-based fantasy as 'too cerebral'.
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