There are some days when you feel like the weight of the world's on your shoulders. Then you have to go outside and turn the garden hose on yourself in order to say 'stop angsting, self!'.

    Ever felt like you have absolutely no ability to communicate with anyone, any more? Sort of like when you're in Quebec (insert your own favorite foreign locale here, like France, Yemen or Iowa...) and trying to remember your high-school French and though you think you're saying 'Ou est la salle de bain?' you're really saying 'your wife is a bloated wart hog'? Doesn't that leave you with such a nice, deep-down crappy feeling, because suddenly the only basis by which you have to send a message from the island that is You to the island that is Someone Else has managed to spring a leak? Don't you sometimes wish that people would be more ready to understand what you're saying, and less wrapped up in what they expect you to say (for instance, if they're angsting and haven't got easy access to a garden hose and thus have yet to master the Garden Hose-Fu method of Angst Extraction?)

    Me too. Please send $5.00 to the Collective Telepathy Development Foundation . Your money will be well spent by our scientists in Aruba, looking into the politics of dancing and feeeeelin' good, with an eye to eventually establishing a very intimate rapport with other people...

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