36 Crazy Plots

A series focusing on Jack (a homage to Hong Kong movie star Jackie Chan), aka "Crazy Guy," as he seeks to find and master the 36 Crazy Plots.

• #0 - Prelude: Heaping loads of exposition and backstory so I don't have to include them in the main storyline.
• #1 - Plot 1: Protection Racket: Jack does a toilet paper commercial, then gets a job on a real movie...that's being shaken down by the Triads. Also features Dare To Be Crazy (to the tune of Weird Al's Dare To Be Stupid), the series theme song.
• #2 - Plot 1: Protection Racket: Jack has a weird dream and then goes in disguise to gather intelligence on the Triads....
• #3 - Plot 1: Protection Racket: Jack faces the Triad threat and has a showdown with the insidious Pei Man in the conclusion of the First Crazy Plot!
• #4 - Plot 2: No One Quits!: Triads and Tongs and hired killers and hatchets in the back and who's really the target anyway?
• #5 - Plot 2: No One Quits!: In the wake of Jimmy Rip blowing the plot, Jack heads for San Francisco to try and salvage it by meeting with "Slow Moe" Shen, head of the Tong that Rip once belonged to. Also features the song "Jack, He's The Crazy Guy" to the tune of Schoolhouse Rock's "Verb, That's What's Happening!"
• #6 - Plot 2: No One Quits!: Now totally ignoring the plot, Jack forges an uneasy alliance with Shen to determine who's really behind all the stuff that keeps happening to Jack.

I decided that the 36 plots thing wasn't working for me, so ditched them and changed the name of the series.

• #7 - Vector Subtraction: After discovering he can't possibly complete all 36 Crazy Plots, Jack is attacked by another chi-power-wielding assassin!
• #8 - ...Get Off The Sidewalk!: Jack just wants to get back to L.A., but first he has to fight off a small horde of ninjas and mooks on the highway! Kinda features the song "The Tale Of Mister Morden" to the tune of Schoolhouse Rock's "The Tale Of Mister Morton," but, well, it doesn't get very far.
• #9 - Cutting Room Floor Blues: Two digressions, a subplot, a song and about thirty lines of main plot. Yay! The song is The Editing Room Ballad, to the tune of "Unpack Your Adjectives" from Schoolhouse Rock (yes, I got the SHRock lyrics book, why do you ask?).
• #10 - Crazy Guy: The Movie: The movie finally has its premier...which, of course, goes terribly wrong!
• #11 - Hell(TM) Hath No Fury...: As work starts on the sequel, Jack suffers the consequences of his actions from several episodes back.
• #12 - Devil Went Down To Newport: To get out of the predicament he landed in last issue, Jack makes a deal with Satan T. Lucifer Jones, and becomes an employee of Hell(TM) Inc!
• #13 - The Wages Of Sin Plus Overtime: Jack starts to get an inkling what it's like to work for Hell(TM) Inc as he tries to fill out his employee forms. Then he gets his first assignment, and is shoved out of an airplane!
• #14 - Nun Shall Pass: Jack meets a nun on the road to the Mission of Santo Andreo, while the insidious Red Squirrel Nation plots their takeover of the world!
• #15 - Mission Implausible: It's Jack, Sister Sara and the brothers of Santo Andreo versus Mobile Suit Hudsonicus!
• #16 - Lawyers, Guns and Money: With the Red Menace dealt with, Jack and the others hatch a plan to drive off the Chinese demons encircling the Mission. Also features a short scene in 223DON'TTRYITAUTHORSONLY (Authors' Altiverse) in preparation for the 1996 Grunions.
• #17 - Performance Review: Jack faces his first Annual Performance Review while new forces gather in the wings. Plus, the song, "Just A Squirrel" to the tune of No Doubt's "Just A Girl."
• #18 - A Day At The Office: After shooing everyone out of his office, Hans sits back to try and unwind...but guest stars keep showing up to try and hire him.
• #19 - The Five Brothers: Meanwhile to the events of #18, Jack goes for a walk and gets a new assignment from Satan T. Lucifer Jones, to collect a set of statues which have been separated for centuries. And "Eric Lang" takes the bus.
• #20 - Erlang Syne: Erlang, aka Eric Lang, catches up with Jack and a rather one-sided battle ensues.
• #21 - Mach Go Go Go Away: The search for the Five Brothers continues, and Jack may inadvertantly set a new land speed record.
• #22 - Once, Twice, Three Times A Thief: Jack gets a lock on a second of the Five Brothers and a lead on a third, which he has to steal back from the man who stole it. And he runs into an old acquaintance.... Plus: the Jonkatta of Mars subplot begins!
• #23 - Should Old Acquaintance...: Jack and Ben Sidhe react to each other, but it's not so simple as another fight scene....
• #24 - What Would Fonzie Do?: Jack has to deal with a moral dilemma while escaping with Ben Sidhe from a rather large number of angry men with big guns.
• #25 - Oh Brother!: In this oversized 25th issue, the Five Brothers plot comes to a conclusion, featuring characters from the early days and showing just how evil Satan T. Lucifer Jones really is.
• #26 - Some Call Me The Space Cowboy: The Jonkatta of Mars story continues, and Crazy Guy gets a new assignment.
• #27 - Guys of Mars: Jack and Louie land on Mars and the plotlines finally dovetail.
• #28 - Super To Nuts: While the Red Squirrels inside the Hollow Mars explain the situation to Jack, a number of supporting characters back on Earth get into a fight. Also: the song "Stupid Plotlines" to the tune of Schoolhouse Rock's "Telegraph Line."
• #29 - Sometimes You Feel Like A Nut: The gripping (as in, it'll give you The Grip) climax to the whole Mars mess!
• #30 - Nun N' Gun: Meanwhile, back on Earth, the supporting cast waves a lot of weapons around. Some of them at Jack when he gets home.
• Series Wrap-Up: Well, I finally decided I was never going to actually finish this series. So here's some stuff that might have happened had I continued, just so you know where the plots were going. When they were going somewhere at all, of course.
• #30.1 - Vigil: Set between the last two scenes of #30, this retrofits Crazy Guy to fit in with the much later revelations of what was happening in the late 1990s Superguy, as seen in The League. Starring Sister Sara Lopez.

Authors' Altiverse

The psychotically solipsistic setting for stories where Authors of Superguy blow off steam and blow up each other.

• Dvandroid's Intro to 223DON'TTRYITAUTHORSONLY: A short intro scene that leads into the first part of 36 Crazy Plots #0.