============================== Fanboy Ramblings ============================== Message: 6/3 Posted Author Where ya Been, Uncle Joe? (Not Sta Thu Aug 24 The Joker ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Well, I moved out to the Midwest. This has pluses and minuses. On one hand, the chicks here aren't all anorexic, nor all blonde, and they actually wear glasses. If you don't think glasses are sexy...check out Playboy sometime. I'm tellin' ya, that whole naked in glasses reading a book thing works. On the bad side, there are an inordinate number of chubby, curly-haired unemployed chicks in their mid-twenties who still live with their parents. Mitigating this is the fact that some of them drink, which makes them okay in my book. Anywho, I have had several encounters with the disconcerting in the last few days, waiting for my phone line to be connected. First, liking to visit graveyards, I went and found my great-grandparents' graves. The cemetary is called 'Mt. Ever-rest'. Yes, that's right, a pun. So I enter this lovely place, and discover, near the office, that there's someone buried in one of their planters, three feet from the door. Headstone's under a shrubbery. Then, of course, there is the largely central portion called, 'Baby Land', yes, that's right, dead children in their own little happy theme park. Comedy's all around us, folks. All around us. So, then, three o'clock rolls around, and I'm at Toys 'R Us, cruising for eighth graders, when I discover that they've re-released Underoos. Unfortunately, they only go up to size 10 waist, and that's a mighty tighty whitey to be smugglin' your plums in, if you get my meaning. Finally, I must point out that Titus is now on DVD and video. No, not that crappy fox show, but the Anthony Hopkins version of Titus Andronicus, Shakespeare's best play, as far as I'm concerned. I always wanted to make a movie out of it, but I was beaten to it. Rape, dismemberment, incest, infanticide, murder, and cannibalism as you like it! Definitely worth a rent. Also, the Cell is the sexiest movie since Hellraiser 3. Shoulda expected that with Vince Vaughn in it. Turned me on almost as much as the first time I read Killing Joke when I was ten. Anyway, back to my rock and roll lifestyle. More mayhem coming soon. ==============================================================================