Superguy Frequently Asked Questions

(last revised August 3, 1994)

Part 5: In-Jokes

Contents Of This Part:

Far too much for a table of contents.

"Good grief, it's turned into a running gag!"

--Kermit the Frog

What Is An In-Joke?

Exactly what it sounds like. You see, Superguy is, at heart, a humor list. It's a humor list that's been going for years, no less. So over time certain running gags, basic conventions, in-jokes, and insider humor have developed, to the point where a new reader might need a road map to follow along. This particular Part of the FAQ is going to be a little looser than other parts -- mostly because the subject matter is not conducive to organization.

Not all 'in-jokes' are funny, by the way -- or are meant to be. Often they refer to events 'everyone would know' (such as the destruction of Washington D.C., or Intercontinental Salvage, or Radian's Apotheosis).

Unless specifically stated to the contrary, the below refer to the Superguy Subtopic. This is not necessarily a complete list.

1) What does "Superguy" refer to?

"Superguy" refers to one of five things: The Superguy Mailing List, the Superguy Subtopic; the Superguy Altiverse, the character Superguy, or the slang term 'Superguy.'

The Superguy Mailing List is what you're reading right now. (See Part 1 of the FAQ).

The Superguy Subtopic is the Humorous Superheroic Fictional Subtopic of the Mailing List. (See Part 2 of the FAQ)

The Superguy Altiverse (Altiverse 000SUPERGUY) is the universe the Superguy Subtopic takes place in. (See Part 6 of the FAQ)

The character Superguy is the premier Super Hero on Earth (see below). The slang term 'superguy' is used as a generic term for super heroes in the Superguy Altiverse, out of respect for Superguy, the character. So a bunch of heroes are called superguys, any given hero is a superguy, and even Superguy himself is a superguy.

Though 'Guy' is Gender-Male, 'Superguy' is Gender-Neutral, for purposes of this list. No offense is meant.

2) Who is Superguy?

Superguy is the greatest hero of all time. Single-handedly responsible for saving millions of lives, Superguy is the strongest, fastest, smartest, most noble, least vulnerable hero of them all. No one else begins to be in his league. He is the greatest, bar none. Take the best qualities of Superman, Captain Marvel (all of them), Captain America, Captain Planet, and any other copyrighted, trademarked character you can think of, take away their bad traits, and you've got a hero just slightly below Superguy's level.

Unfortunately, a guy like Superguy is so great, so powerful, and so committed to Justice and Heroism that he operates under something of a tight schedule. As a result, he is constantly flying around the planet faster than any eye can see, doing good deeds. Never having time to pause and chat, Superguy writes notes on Post It Notes (tm) at superspeed and leaves them behind. The only time he's ever paused is when he was dead, but even then no one could get his coffin open.

In other words, no one has actually seen Superguy. Ever. No one knows what he looks like. No one has any concept of who he or she actually is.

With one exception. When he came back to life, Superguy was seen briefly by Burt Ward. But no one believes Burt, so it effectively doesn't count.

Superguy is essentially a Deus Ex Machina waiting to happen. When all is bleak and all else fails, Superguy saves the day when no one is looking.

3) A lot of characters have the same secret identities as some of the Authors on Superguy. What gives?

Even as the Author's Altiverse is populated by narcissistic power fantasies that fill an Author's mind, so too are there characters created and written by the Authors who are the 000SUPERGUY counterparts of the Authors themselves. For the most part, these neo-author characters are no different than the other characters around them -- in fact, the most successful neo- author characters are ones like High Jinx and Ramrod, who aren't particularly powerful.

In short, when you see an Author's name appear as part of a character in a story, assume it has nothing to do with the Author him or herself.

Some of the more active Author Characters are:

(* -- Ramrod, although still 'Bill Dickson,' and although still having exactly the same history, had his direct connection to the Author taken away by Pickle. He is still considered an Author Character)

(** -- The Programmer is a villain, not a hero)

I am no doubt forgetting some.

Also bear in mind that there are Special Agents Olson, Pongress, Bankert, Burns, and Paul have the same last names as the five original Round Robin Authors, but otherwise have no connection to the Authors.

4) Who are the active Super Heroes based on non-author real people (not celebrities)?

Lots of real people have shown up as superguys, sometimes without even knowing it was going to happen. Some to this day do not know they are prominent Superheroes on a fictional list (Andy Awesome coming to mind). A list of many of the most active ones is:

(* -- Deceased)

(** -- Sfstory)

Also -- Frank Orzechowicz (an Author), John Bankert (an Author), Suzanne Aceti, and Jamie Sisler all seem to be becoming Super Heroes. More as events warrant.

5) Who are the Super Heroes based on Celebrities?

Smartman -- J. Danforth Quayle, the smartest man in the world.

The Scarlet Shrubbery III -- Hillary Clinton, owner of the night

Socks the Ninja Cat -- Socks Clinton, Ninja Cat

Ninja Chelsea -- Chelsea Clinton, Ninja Wannabe

Sean Connery -- member of Captain Hardeharharharlock's crew on the Video Arcadia

Reaganbo -- Ronald Reagan, don't ask

Late Show M00se -- David Letterman, all powerful Talk Show Host

Jane Pauley and her Ninja Death Commandos -- sort of says it all

The TOEJAMS -- The Cast of Saturday Night Live, agents of the M00se Illuminati

The Incredibly Hulking Lou Ferrigno -- again, pretty easy to work out

And many others forgotten to history, I'm sure.

6) Who are the Supervillains based on Celebrities?

How much time do you have?

A partial list (in no particular order):

This is a list devoted to humor and parody. As such, at any given time a figure in the public eye could be pulled up as a villain. At one point, for example, Al Gore was part of a plot to reinvent and downsize superguys, which led to his being a Villain, temporarily. At another point, Dan Quayle (before he became Superintelligent) was possessed by the psychic entity Gorgax and made into a Supervillain. At another point, the mind of Surplus Man took over Dana Carvey, and the gestalt believed he was George Bush. The cycle is kind of never ending.

7) Who or what is Satan T. Lucifer Jones?

The Devil. Mankind's eternal adversary. The Duke of Smelly Feet himself. Sort of.

Satan T. Lucifer Jones was originally just the plain old Devil on Sfstory. But after any number of shenanigans, he sort of evolved into the Devil we all know and loathe on both Sfstory and Superguy today. He alternates between being an all-powerful demon and something of a nebbish. He had more or less lost all of his potential to strike fear into Men's hearts (to the point where Sister Mary Ellen Hatchetnose -- the Nun on the Road -- would only attack him if she thought he was protestant). Recently, following a refresher course on utter and complete evil and hideousness by the Late Vincent Price, Satan's come back with a vengeance.

Satan is probably the primary villain of the list, and the only Superguy/Sfstory character to actively attack the Authors themselves.

8) Why does Hell have a (tm) after it?

Hell has always been nebulous on Superguy and Sfstory. For a very long time indeed, Hell was represented as a fleet of battlecruisers on Sfstory (where the 'science fiction only' rule kept Satan from working in his idiom) and a chain of Chinese Restaurants called Fong's House of Oriental Delights on Superguy (because of a prank by one of the Authors). This later changed to Fong's Enchilada Emporium, and finally Fong's Happy Belly of Mongolian Food Yurt.

For bonus points, the next time your phone rings at home answer with a Brooklyn accent and say "Fong's Happy Belly of Mongolian Food Yurt, Fong ain't here." It is practically guaranteed to drive Telemarketers away from your phone forever.

During these alterations of Hell, Niccolo Machievelli forced a hostile takeover of Hell and opened it up on the Market as a Public Company. At this time, Hell, Incorporated took out legal trademarks on the name of Hell. Thus, whenever Hell is used in a post of Superguy or Sfstory, legally a (tm) should follow it. There are implied (tm)'s in those cases that it is not followed, of course.

Since then, Satan has taken Hell, Inc. back over, but it's extreme profitability has caused him to keep it on the market. It is not known how his shredding of his Board of Directors will affect Hell's investment standing, however.

As a side note -- so far, almost every person who has died in the Superguy Altiverse has gone to Hell (tm). The only exceptions seem to be known war criminal Dr. Kilohertzmunn and Supervillainess Batsman, both of whom apparently went to Heaven.

Go figure.

9) What is Intercontinental Salvage, Inc?

Intercontinental Salvage, Inc. is the premier reclamation and rebuilding corporation on Planet Earth. Whenever a super battle obliterates a monument, a building, a city, a state, a moon, or what have you, Intercontinental Salvage is called in to fix it right up. As an added bonus, they seem to bring all the residents back to life while they're at it. By the time Intercontinental Salvage is done, it's as if the battle never took place.

Seem convenient? Damn straight. They do windows, too.

10) What is Awesome Amalgamated?

When Andy Awesome, hi-jinx (now High Jinx), Miche, Amazing Ginsu (now Figuremaster), Bink, Miche, She-Devil and T -- the Awesome Force -- graduated from college, they each decided to retire from being active superguys into the private sector. Andy Awesome, upon his graduation/retirement, formed a corporation called Awesome Amalgamated as a shell organization to take the National Aeronautics and Space Administration under private control and make it a For-Profit company. Awesome Amalgamated performed wonderfully, eventually selling NASA -- now a profitable organization Robert Heinlein would have been proud of -- back to the Government and pursuing other business interests. It is one of the most dynamic and powerful companies on Earth, proving that a successful business could still have a sense of ethics.

In the Future Storyline 2035, Awesome Amalgamated has essentially purchased or assumed control of the entire planet, and is operating it as a monopoly. It is a Utopic society, where everyone is content and has enough to eat.

It's also creepy as Hell (tm).

11) Why do some characters have (coincidence) and (no relation) after their names?

(Coincidence): The Xolchipalian Defense Forces are an alien legion of outstanding moral fiber, protecting cultures less advanced than themselves from threats they cannot handle alone. All Xolchipalians have red skin and white hair, but otherwise look exactly like science fiction actors from earth and even have the same names and attitudes of those actors. This is utterly coincidental. They are not supposed to be Patrick Stewart, Jonathan Frakes, or the like. They simply look, sound and act just like Patrick Stewart and Jonathan Frakes, and are named Patrick Stewart and Jonathan Frakes. Just coincidence. Really.

(No Relation): Exactly what it says. Agent Cooper (No Relation) likes coffee and has a good attitude, for example, but he is in no way related to Agent Cooper from "Twin Peaks."

12) What is Bob City?

Bob City (formerly named ThatReallyLargeCityOverThereopolis) is a dark city. A city where the wail of a saxophone fits in just naturally. A place where a man trusts his eyes, his gun, his bourbon and his paycheck, in that order. A place where a pretty face can hide a sweetheart or a killer, depending on the time of day.

In other words, Bob City is where every Film Noir movie ever made was filmed.

The other side of Bob City is that it rains there every night and has for years. As a result, it is the only inland city with a canal system and windsurfing as a form of mass transit.

The Extreme Team and the Punk with a Gun both haunt the streets of Bob. As a side note, Bob City should be treated as a character belonging communally to Rob Furr and Ben Brown for purposes of copyright and use in Superguy. In other words, ask before you send your giant robotic chicken rampaging through the streets.

13) Why is the nefarious Dr. Fu Manchu such an easygoing guy?

Fu is centuries old, as most people know, and he is the utter master of all things criminal. After a while, that gets draining, so he's taking several years off.

14) Who is the Gun Avenger?

When terror strikes the streets of Bob or anywhere else in the world, when convenience store clerks find themselves on the business end of a shotgun, when the helpless are in their direst need, then does the .38 of the Gun Avenger fire into the night!

Not really.

You see, whenever the Punk with a Gun tries to rob some place, almost inevitably, someone else is robbing it. So he knocks out the robbers and robs the place himself. But stories get confused and gradually, the legend of the Gun Avenger has spanned the globe, despite the fact that the Gun Avenger never existed.

15) What are the Golden Grunions?

The Golden Grunions are awards supposedly given out yearly to the best (and worst) Characters, Stories and Authors in a huge out-of-continuity ceremony. Many people make light of them, but they are the big chance for the readers to point out what they do and don't like.

16) What's the deal with Radian? Is she a hero or villain? Is she a mage or not? Is she a vampire or not? What gives?

Herein lies a tale....

Radian (Akane Moroshobi) started off life as a supporting character (Rad's stepsister in the Rad series). She later gained radiation projection powers and was a charter member of CalForce. In a later CalForce story, Radian met her twin from the Sfstory altiverse (Shadebeam) and received a neck pendent called the Z Medallion (along with a guiding spirit called Symon) from her. Not too long after that, Radian got turned into a Vampire, but was able to use her Radiation powers to force her cells back into life. As a result, she has some of the advantages of being a vampire, without any of the attendant disadvantages (although she doesn't seem to possess the shapeshifting or hypnotic powers of a vampire, or else needs blood to make them work).

Later still, there was a war in Japan between the Dark Magi of the world, for the power and title of Sorcerer Superlative (an accreditation referring to the most powerful Dark Mage of them all). Fallout from the Magic Wars caused Faith's power to operate when Faith was asleep (which normally it would not), and a devastating magical disruption ended all life on the planet except for the members of CalForce and their friends at the blast's Epicenter, Wonder Grunion, and Ramrod. In this magicless world (known as the Wasteland), Akane lived an entire lifetime, travelling the world and learning everything she could. In the end, she also learned how to escape it, returning to the present, freeing Faith from his Dream, and defeating the real driving force of the Realm -- the Cheshire Cat... or so she thought. As part of the process, Radian was filled with the power of the Dark, Corruptive Magic and became Sorceress Superlative. Indeed, she became more powerful than almost any Sorcerer Superlative before her, as her radiation manipulation abilities allowed her to use and process her magical power with far greater facility and ease than any predecessor.

As time progressed, both the Cheshire Cat (Chaos) and Symon (Order) manipulated Radian to their own ends, drawing her towards an inevitable situation that first arose when CalForce met China, the Bone Child.

The Bone Child was another Archetypical force -- a girl who had always lived in several bodies, whose blood was the key to power -- a mage could use the power of the blood to become the greatest mage on Earth, a Vampire could use the blood to become the most powerful Vampire on Earth. Between the overwhelmingly corruptive nature of the Dark Magic pervading her cells, and the manipulations of the Cheshire Cat and Symon, Radian succumbed to the ultimate temptation and killed China, drinking her potent blood until China's body was dry.

The blood could give a mage or a vampire ultimate power. Radian was both a Mage and a Vampire at once, as well as a manipulator of radiation. As a result, she became a true Dark Goddess. Akane took her lover, Faith, and used both her own magic and his reality warping powers in an attempt to turn the entire of Planet Earth into Magical energy. She would then use that magic to propel herself, the Cheshire Cat and Symon into a State of Transcendence (although Symon had fallen in love with Akane and actively sought to stop her).

After a conflagration which swept the world, involving CalForce, the Defense Squad, and Team Cynical, Akane achieved her goal of transcendence even as her body was killed by Ramrod using the Punk with a Gun's Gun.

As Akane began to Transcend, destroying the Earth in the process, she was freed from the forces of destiny that guided her fate and got to make a choice for herself for the first time. She chose to save Earth instead of destroying it, and sacrificed her power. As a result, she died. Faith, unable to deal with his lover's death, used his power in an active way for the first time and brought her back to life, achieving a natural transcendence himself.

The Dark Magic Akane had once had was funneled into Shadebeam, whose Quantum Signature is our of alignment with it, which in turn prevents Shadebeam from being corrupted by it. As a result, Radian is now sort of a hero again, though a fugitive. She is still kind of a vampire, but has no magic. Plus she has lots of people running around her head, which is weird.

Sorry this one was so long.

17) What is the M00se Illuminati?

On Superguy, the M00se Illuminati is a conspiracy dedicated to the overthrow of all world governments and the beginnings of a state of anarchy, with agents operating where you least expect them.

In Real Life, the M00se Illuminati is a conspiracy dedicated to the overthrow of all world governments and the beginnings of a state of anarchy, with agents operating where you least expect them.

It may be the only Secret Conspiracy in either universe to advertise openly, by the way.

Real life folks looking for information on the eye in the pyramid with the antlers should contact Bill Dickson ("Pickle") and Dominic White ("the Artiste"), the publishers of the Conspiracy newsletter.

18) Is Evan Pongress ("Shadowman") really dead?

In real life, Evan Pongress (Round Robin Alumni and writer of the Annihilator, Burt Ward and Adam West, the adventures of the Starship Winaprise, and so much more) is alive and well and living in a Spiritually Oriented Community with a beautiful woman, and leading a fulfilling, contented life where he is working in a field that interests him with people who affirm him and provide a sense of community and balance for him.

It is all right to loathe Evan on general principle.

In the Author's Altiverse, though, Evan has won the Authorial Award for being most consistently dead. He died once, way back when, and was cremated, his ashes being used to make ashtrays. They he was resurrected several times during an Author's War, and killed horribly every time. Then he was safely resurrected again, and had taken on an Author's name, and generally was preparing for a good time. And then every Evan Pongress in every Altiverse was horribly killed in a war against the evil Nazi Barney (Herr Kiddievinkel). Evan's dead amalgamated spirit was removed from the Multiverse and entered a Cathedral of Death, where his muse was Death Herself. And there they sit, waiting, Death and Shadowman.

Waiting for what? Who knows -- with as complete a real life as Evan has, you think he writes for this thing any more?

19) What were the five billion George Bushes?

When Dangerousman blew up Washington D.C. to stop Surplus Man, every known branch of the U.S. Government had a plan in place to save the President in event of the destruction of the Capital. They all went into effect simultaneously, and as a result George Bush was split among them into five billion separate bodies, each with a shadow of his own intellect, using mass gained from Surplus Man (who was at Ground Zero in the explosion). Eventually, they were recombined and made war against the other George Bush, who was actually Surplus Man's mind thinking he was George Bush in Dana Carvey's body disguised as Saddam Hussein.

The compiler of this FAQ wishes to make it plain that he made none of this up.

Eventually, George Bush was again made complete and whole, and eventually went completely insane after Manny Seconds won the Presidency from him.

20) What was so bad about Ramrod's singing career?

Ramrod's career as a singer started (not counting a wild renditions of Oingo Boingo's "No One Lives Forever" at London's Slug and Garter) when the Government used an agent named Ennui to seduce and control Ramrod. They then made Ramrod into the ultimate prepubescent teen heartthrob, having him sing songs to make the youth of America conform to an ideal of obedient mediocrity with such bubblegum hits as "Girl, it's you," "Be True, Girl," "You Can Believe in Me, Girl," and the Seminal "Trust the Government, Girl" (The Chorus being "You Got to/Trust the government, girl/Trust the government, girl/Trust the government, girl/Now stop worrying and look at my butt").

The music was utterly wretched and popular as Hell. Ramrod's best friend, High Jinx, actually tried to assassinate Ramrod to prevent him from continuing. Finally, it took the spirit of Batsman (who Ramrod loved), Gus the Sentient Apple IIgs, and Elvis himself to cause Ramrod to recant his views during a Nationally Televised concert (featuring a blimp rising out of the Washington D.C. Reflecting Pool).

Thus, the Government stopped their ad campaign, and most of Ramrod's target audience have reached puberty and realized Ramrod utterly sucked. Thus, the long term damage has been minimal.

21) What does the phrase 'Stoking the Cow' mean?

Team Cynical's power needs are taken care of via a high-methane producing cow they keep well fed (or 'stoked').

22) How did Dan Quayle get so Smart?

Dan Quayle, while wandering around the Pentagon, attempted to photocopy a body part with an experimental Xerox Machine. This caused Dan Quayle to become replicated five billion times, and the five billion Dan Quayles stretched Dan's natural ignorance and good natured stupidity that the vacuum left in the original Dan Quayle's mind was filled with the most mind-staggeringly complex knowledge imaginable. As the Five Billion Dan Quayles were all sent to Hell (tm) to satisfy a deal Satan T. Lucifer Jones had made for all the Souls on Earth, there is little chance of Dan regaining his birthright stupidity.

23) What is Spam? What is Neo-Spam? What is Spam Lite? (SFSTORY MOSTLY, BUT APPLIES TO ALL ALTIVERSES)

Spam -- long thought to be processed meat prepared by the Hormel Corporation, is actually a complex mathematical substance. Put into simple layman's language, Spam is a three dimensional representation of a fourth dimensional vector through space/time. As such, Spam, when properly used, is capable of almost any feat. It is used by advanced civilizations as a clean power source and as a method of interstellar travel. It is the one substance that can facilitate Inter-Altiversal Travel without causing the travellers to vomit. Used improperly, it causes space/time/reality warps and rifts capable of replacing people with five tons of elephant dung (to use a graphic example). The one feat Spam is incapable of is safe digestion.

Spamologists recommend using an ABPSARI (Automatic Beet Peeler and Sub- Atomic Re-Integrator) to properly manipulate Spam.

Neo-Spam looks just like really old Spam, and tastes even worse. It is created whenever a substance is hurled into a Black Hole. The incredible gravity of a black hole crushes the substance into a Fourth Dimensional Vector, which eventually causes the substance to take on Spamical properties. It then becomes revolted with the substance and hurls it back out into Space, where it becomes Neo-Spam.

Neo-Spam is somewhat safer than Spam, but does not yield as much power. Spam Lite seems to be a naturally occurring substance, much like Spam itself, but it is highly volatile. Little more is known of it.

24) SFSTORY: What on Planet Earth in the Sfstory Altiverse has been destroyed?

A partial list:

And no doubt some part of New England I've forgotten. It is worth noting that in every space battle Lord Sabre writes on Sfstory, part of New England is destroyed.

25) The story 2035 is set in the future with a lot of familiar characters, but it seems to contradict current storylines. What gives?

2035 was begun with the permission of the various Authors on Superguy, and proceeded from the assumption that the current status of Superguy at that time would continue along the lines the writer set out for it. Of course, this have not proceeded that way -- but there is little or nothing that says they could not revert.

For example, Summer of Team M.E.C.H.A. was not superpowered at the time of her death, but the possibility exists that she will lose her powers. Miche and Skids were known to have lived into the 2000's (and Miche is still alive, as of 2035), but it is not exactly unknown for heroes to come back to life in Superhero stories.

There is little that could not change to return to the world of 2035, and there are some signs (such as the creation of the Fiddler's Green Cemetery and the increasing role of Awesome Amalgamated in Governmental affairs) of it's eventual coming to pass.

26) What heroes have died and how?

There have been four Superheroic deaths 'on screen' that I can remember as of this writing.

The Fiddler (Guy Jara) of the Awesome Force was killed in their battle against Citrus Man, who turned the Fiddler into a Banana. Superguy, who was passing by, ate the banana, killing the Fiddler and giving him the noblest of all fates.

Lieutenant Justice of Solutions Unlimited died in the battle of Akron. Miche and Skids (Michelle and Steven Skidmore) of the Awesome Force were killed in an explosion in Russia.

Also, Faith (Gary Shapiro) and Andy Awesome (Andrew Goodwin) have both been killed but come back to life, and Faith, Gus, and Lulu the Dangerousmobile have all Transcended their mortal existence, which isn't quite the same.

Finally, Jan Taylor, who only appeared in Superguy as a potential love interest of Trashman in the original series, was later revealed to have become the superheroine Force, who was killed in Dangerousman's destroying of Washington D.C.

27) Why is Elvis revered as a deity?

To quote from the Gospel According to Mojo Nixon--

Elvis is everywhere,
Elvis is everything,
Elvis is everybody,
Elvis is still the king.
In Superguy, this is the literal case. Elvis pervades the Multiverse. Elvis is the one being above the Authors. Elvis is the very spirit of all that is good and bad, right and wrong, fat and thin. When the Multiverse needed to be recreated, it was done off of an old Elvis record. When the Man with Two First Names purchased the Multiverse, he Purchased it from Elvis.

28) Are the Burt Ward and Adam West on Superguy the same as the Burt Ward and Adam West that starred on the Batman TV series?

Well, not really. Think of Adam West and Burt Ward as of the time of the Batman TV series for their proper ages and haircuts. However, Adam West and Burt Ward actually used to be the Camp Superheroes Batman and Robin, but they gave up their identities and instead took on the new secret identities as Adam West and Burt Ward, eccentric, out of work actors. They occasionally attempt to fight crime in these identities, but it tends to fail miserably.

Furthermore, Adam is a psychotic bastard when it comes to Burt, and Burt himself is a mischievous little boy who wants to be liked... and who is also an utterly sex-crazed little weasel you would not let play any of your reindeer games. But occasionally tried to strike out on his own as a hero, becoming such luminaries as Wrad (he of the awesome Sunburn) and the Taupe Trenchcoated Wramrod. He usually gets away with these escapades with only minor stitches.

Burt is also noteworthy as being the one person who found Superguy's body and protected it, during Death of Superguy II.

29) What is the deal with the numbers 5 and 23, as well as the colors red, green, black, blue and gold?

In the Round Robin storyline, the Universe was created by the Five Lords of the Outer Darkness. The Gold Lord represented creation, the Red Lord Destruction, the Black Lord Chaos, the Green Lord Order, and the Blue Lord Balance. As there were five of them, five became a number of power. 23 became another way to say five, as two plus three equals five. Note that 32, 14 and 41 all work just as well, but aren't as common.

After the reunification of the Lords of the Outer Darkness and their counterparts, the Serfs of the Inner Light, forming together with the original Middle Managers of the In-Between Greyness (it's a long story), it seemed like the color stuff and five stuff had ended. However, both Eric Alfred Burns ("Lord Sabre") and Gary Olson ("the Swede") have since implied that the entire Multiverse is based around the number five and these colors in some strange way.

30) What is the Flatphoot Phollies?/What is the destruction of Washington D.C./Why does Trashman hate Dangerousman so much?/What is the Cult of Tip O'Neill?

In the early days of the list, the first large scale crossover was the Flatphoot Phollies -- a plot perpetuated by Flatphoot and Special Special Agent Richard Less of the Mega-Intelligence Bureau to kill all unregistered Superheroes. They held a Superheroic Convention at the Sheraton in Washington, D.C., and all the Superheroes on the list went to it. However, the evil plots that Flatphoot and Richard Less were going to perpetuate never got past passing one piece of drugged pizza to Dangerousman.

However, Dangerousman himself met Relativity Woman at the convention, and the two decided to get married. They went down to a Jewelry Store for a wedding ring, only to discover the massive Surplus Man was robbing the store. In the following fight, Dangerousman was forced to defeat the villain by unleashing his Extremely Dangerous Power (namely, the power to set off a thermonuclear explosion every time he stomped his foot). The resulting explosion destroyed Washington D.C., and apparently killed every Superhero on the list.

The reason for this was simple -- there were lots of unused heroes lying around. This way, anyone not brought back was dead, and so they never had to be dealt with again.

The radiation mutated various congressmen into the Cult of Tip O'neill, who fought against Intercontinental Salvage as they rebuilt Washington D.C. George Bush found himself being saved by dozens of 'Save the Prez' schemes, and as a result, was replicated five billion times.

Eventually, all of this was taken care of, and every hero and villain on the list appeared later. Apparently, the explosion killed no one. Not even Surplus Man. It was not until years later that it was revealed that Jan Taylor -- the Superheroine Force and the beloved of Trashman -- actually was killed by the blast, laying the foundation for a deep and abiding enmity between the two.

31) What is SNUCCI? What was SNURCCI?

SNUCCI stands for the Seriously Nasty Undead Cthuloid Cultists, Incorporated -- an organization devoted to bringing Cthulu into the Superguy Altiverse and having him obliterate everything. It is made up of Talk Show Hosts, all of whom have died and come back as hideous zombies. Led by Jay Leno, the King of Late Night, and Phil Donahue, their religious leader, SNUCCI is a difficult bunch of opponents to beat, because they can't really be hurt. The M00se Illuminati is one of SNUCCI's most implacable enemies, and their agent, David Letterman, had successfully infiltrated them for a time. In his incarnation as Late Night M00se, he fought against SNUCCI along with Teri Garr and the World's Most Dangerous Band. Since then, his powers have greatly increased and he has become Late Show M00se -- and although Jay Leno is still officially King of Late Night, it is clear the SNUCCI's dominance of Late Night Television and the minds of the masses have been subverted by the M00se Illuminati.

Another sign of SNUCCI's recent weakness came after their success in bringing Cthulu into the Superguy Altiverse. Cthulu did not reward them or make them all powerful, but instead settled down with a nice family and married Rosanne Barr. SNUCCI attempted to adapt, becoming SNURCCI (The Seriously Nasty Undead Rosanne and Cthuloid Cultists, Incorporated), but they never really represent a great threat from that point forward. Since Rosanne was caught cheating and Cthulu was driven out of our Universe just before he was ready to begin his reign of terror, SNUCCI has again begun their plots, but they have a lot of ground to regain before they become a serious threat, again.

32) What is the Mask Principle? Why don't Superguys have their secret identities discovered all the time?

There is a basic law of nature in the Superguy Milliverse called the Mask Principle (first suggested by veteran Sfstory Author Patrick McCoy). The Mask Principle states, essentially, that if a person covers their eyes with any sort of mask, be it a full face mask, a cowl, a domino mask, eye makeup, a dark pair of sunglasses, or what have you, with the explicit intention of hiding his identity, then close friends, relatives, enemies and the like will be wholly unable to pierce the disguise, despite the fact that the hero's face is mostly exposed, his voice hasn't changed, his mannerisms haven't changed, and so forth. Thus, though Mike Green looks, sounds and acts just like his heroic counterpart, no one realizes he's the Masked Bruce because of the Mask Principle.

The Mask Principle can be overloaded. For example, Kent Clark, aka Mighty Guy, wears glasses in his civilian identity to invoke the Mask Principle. However, the fact that he's the size of a small continent, destroys everything around him, and has midnight blue hair are too much for a poor law of the universe, so it's painfully obvious Kent is Mighty Guy.

33) I see Unorthodox Girl referred to as Unorthodox Lass sometimes -- why? I see Unorthodox Lass referred to as Unorthodox Girl sometimes -- why?

Trudy Unorthodox is the superguy called Unorthodox Lass and the superguy called Unorthodox Girl. It's an Unorthodox way to keep a codename, so she does it. She gets very mad when people mess it up, calling her Girl when her name is Lass, and vice versa.

34) What other in-jokes are there?

Lots. But they will have to wait for later FAQ editions. In the meantime, if you have a question or comment about these in-jokes or suggestions about in-jokes left out of this edition, please send it to, with the subject header FAQ: In Jokes.

Separate Parts To This FAQ

  1. Introduction
  2. Subtopics/Posting Guidelines
  3. Ground Rules
  4. Regular Series
  5. In-Jokes
  6. The Multiverse
  7. Authors
  8. Archives

Faq Index | Reference Page | Superguy Home Page