A young woman came home from work.  She just wanted to shed her business 
clothes and high heels.  But first she had to stop by the condo mailbox.

It had a card without address, saying "You Are Invited."  She opened it 
right there, so she could dump it in the condo trash right there.

Inside, it said, "Sharpshooter!  You are invited to observe the RACCies 
Award Ceremony of 2012!  Your reading this invitation constitutes 
acceptance of this request!"

She said, "But this is 2013!  And who's Sharpshooter?  ... Hey!"

Smoke flowed out from the card to surround her.  When it dissipated, she 
was in a line of people, on a red carpet in front of a theater!

She turned to the big man who'd just stepped in behind her.  He was like 
an orc from the movies!  He looked down and said, "I know the feeling. 
That's how this ceremony works.  I greet you as Anal-Retentive Analysis 
Kid 2."

"Uh, hi.  I greet you as Rachel Hawkins."

"Understood on many levels.  Now, let me acclimatize you."

"Uh, right."

"This ceremony honors the best and brightest from across the universes. 
  For whatever reason, you are here.  People within this arena will 
direct you to seating where you may observe.  I recommend you smile 
sweetly and and just watch, unless and until you are awarded."

"Uh, right."

The line slowly moved.


The ticket taker looked suspiciously at Rachel's invitation, but gave 
her a ticket to an assigned seat at a table.  The orc went to a 
different seat.

Past the gate, a man was holding a sign, "Rachel Hawkins".  He had a 
tuxedo, a top hat, and a serious sunburn.

Rachel had to ask.  "*What the hell* is this all about?!?"

The man remarked, "Oh, I am *so much* the right one to ask.  I apologize 
for the short notice, but I've arranged with your company for your 
presence here.  The paperwork must be tardy.  Indeed, you must have 
noticed you got someone else's invitation."

"... Got it.  But how'd you get me here?"

"You *are* investigating metahuman powers.  I'm involved with that. 
More than that, you'll understand I can't reveal without a briefing."

"So you must realize, I need some ID before I talk with you."

"Well then.  Here's my card.  And I've arranged for special transport 
for you when you leave here tonight.  *Blow this whistle.*"

Rachel took the card.  "Uh, could you perhaps tell me more?  Do I have 
to go to some taxi stand or anything?"

"When the time comes, you will know that is not important.  But I do 
want you to know, I directed that invitation to you.  I know you 
personally can change things tonight by just being here.  I may be 
unavailable later, but I'll count on you to represent us."

"Uh, yes, sir."  It wasn't exactly standard ID, but he hadn't refused to 
give it.  So as far as Rachel knew, this was one of her boss's clients. 
  "I'd love to assist you. What *specifically* do you want from us tonight?"

"Just keep your patient from other exploiters."

"Uh, keep my what from what what?"

"I think you get it."  He disappeared in, what else, a bloom of smoke.

She looked at his card.  It said, The Diabolical Devilman.  All she 
could do was shrug.  Another convention marketeer... she hoped.


Rachel went toward her assigned seat, among tables.  But she recognized 
someone down toward the stage, where they had theater seating.  Eager 
for *anyone* she knew, she yelled and waved.  "Hey!  Lydia!  Lydia 
Devin!  Hi!"

Lydia visibly shrugged.  But the ushers stood aside as Rachel went down 
to her.

Lydia was with her sister Elana and two older men in blue and yellow 
costumes.  They all stayed silent.  Rachel said, "Uh, hi."

Elana said, "You're not here to track Lydia, right?"

"Please!  I don't know *why* I'm here!  I just got popped here!  Just 
say hello!"

"Oh.  Okay.  Hello.  Us too."  Elana hugged Rachel, then looked toward 
the others.  "I suppose I should introduce everyone.  Uh, what were your 
names again?"

Lydia interjected, "I think they were the Power Nut and the Stupo Wizard."

The shorter (white-haired) man glowered.  The taller (gray-haired) said, 
"Power-NAUT, young lady.  And he's the SUPER Wizard. From Space."

"Whatever.  And you look like an idiot in that bow tie.  Where'd you 
find a yellow one, anyway?"

Power-NAUT was about to retort, but the lights blinked.  Elana said, "Do 
you have a seat yet, Rachel?"

"I do.  I guess I'd better find it."


Rachel found her seat, st a table near the back of the arena.  The 
lights were low by the time she sat.  But unlike the other tables, a 
lava lamp was lighting hers.

The display screen above the stage lit up.

                      o  o  o  o  o  o  o
               o  o  o     The  2012     o  o  o
         o  o  o  o  o   (19th Annual)   o  o  o  o  o
               o  o  o  RACCie  AWARDS!  o  o  o
                      o  o  o  o  o  o  o

On stage, a man in foreign costume-military uniform stepped to the 
podium.  "Welcome to the Recreational Arts Comics Creative Awards 
Ceremony of 2013!  The best amateur comics awards on the Internet - or 
at least the oldest!  THESE ARE THE NINETEENTH ANNUAL RACCIES!"  Most of 
the audience clapped wildly.  Rachel gave a golf-clap.

"Let me introduce myself. I am the Maximum Overlord of the Dorfs!  I 
know superhumans!"  He raised his fists.  Some people at Rachel's table 
gasped, but more people clapped.

"Let me introduce my *judges*!  They introduce *military discipline* for 
this year's ballot counting!"  The lights went up on a panel of people 
in that same costume-uniform.

"You know of some people who *disrupted* the ceremony last year."  The 
display screen above the stage showed a comic strip! 
(http://www.eilertech.com/stories/powernaut/RACCies.htm)  "You'll be 
glad to know this year they will be *restrained!*"  Spotlights shone on 
that Power-NAUT and that Super Wizard, as tentacles enfolded them from 
their seats.  Aa they struggled, their energy was drained from them. 
Some people applauded, but Rachel gasped.

"Of course, due to recent security restrictions where many of us come 
from, we are pleased to implement *more* restraints!"  Tentacles came up 
throughout the audience, not at Rachel's table, but at many others.  No 
applause this time.

"You will notice we restrain many beings of power.  We do this with 
power which *surpasses* theirs!  First:  The entire Legion of Net.Heroes 
collection of occult objects!"  Shelves appeared with a ring, a 
gauntlet, and stuff.

"Then:  Six of the Omniversal Engines!"  Jewels burst through the backdrop.

"Finally:  Four of the Cosmic Crowns!"  Four headdresses burst 
underneath them.

The Super Wizard yelled, "I had those imprisoned in the *heart of a sun!*"

The Maximum Overlord yelled back, "*It does not matter!*  Power wishes 
to be *used*!  And power calls to power!  What you *neglect*, we 
*exploit*!  And we dominate the power in *all* of you!  The more 
powerful you are, the more we shall dominate you!"

One voice rose from a forward table.  "So, the *less* powerful we are, 
the *less* you dominate us?"

"Ellipsis.  Silence Mr. Ferguson."  ZZZAP

 From the theater area with the nominees...  "You have locked yourselves 
in a room with my anger.  The anger of the Ultimate Ninja.  I and my 
anger will unleash ourselves..."

"Kid Kirby.  Silence Mr. Ninja."  BBBOLT from the tables

Another voice sang out from one more table.

"A desperate time had come to pass!
Our Heroes trapped like flies in glass!
They all were far from help or aid!
So who could ever come to save?"

"Uh... TerraStar.  Silence Mr. Chevalier's Narrator."  ZZZORCH from 
across tables

"I trust that answers all questions."


Rachel remarked quietly at her table, "I wonder if it's time to call for 
my ride..."

The young man next to her said, "No!  If you have a way out of here, we 
have to hold it in reserve!  Meanwhile, we can learn the villain's plan!"

 From his other side, a woman whispered, "*I* think an exit might be right."

Rachel asked, "And you are...?"

"Oh, sorry."  The woman said, "Sharon Venturi."

And the man held out his hand.  "Casey von Aluminumfoil!"

"Uh, thanks, I'm Rachel von... err..."

A garish-costumed boy seated on Rachel's other side gestured.  "Ssh! 
You're interrupting the coolest RACCies ever!"  Then he guzzled a can of 
Jolt City Cola as the waitress came with another can.

Casey whispered, "Pardon Obsessive Compulsive Boy, but he's right.  It's 
time to listen."

The speaker continued.  "We have harnessed the power of this ceremony 
itself, to call out and harness all this *other* power!  *Your* power! 
So now our plan commences!  The Great Plan of the Dorfs!"

An old black man from across Rachel's table asked quietly, "Shouldn't we 
try to free people or something?"

"No!", whispered Casey.  "We need to know all we can about their plan 
before we move!"

 From the podium:  "Your most powerful characters are here before *our* 
power!  Each award we grant will put one more of you *within* that 
power!  So do the Dorf *dominate*!  I now declare the first award!"

An award trophy grew to about fifteen feet tall.  Tentacles came from it 
to drag one man to shackles at the top, and another at the bottom!  It 
had a label:

** FAVORITE REVIEW TITLE (RACC13):  End of Month Reviews! (Accepted by 
Anal-Retentive Analysis Kid)  HONORABLE MENTION:  The Tribulations of 
Kid Review!  (Accepted by Kid Review)

In rapid succession, other awards came up:

** FAVORITE STORY UNIVERSE (RACC14):  Classic LNH!  (Accepted by 
Cheesecake Eater Lad)  HONORABLE MENTION:  LNH20!  (Accepted by January 

** BEST DISCUSSION (RACC16):  Queer LNHers/Superhuman World Sexuality! 
(Accepted by Fairy Princess Lad)  HONORABLE MENTION:  Three Metaphors 
For Superhero Teams!  (Accepted by Manga Girl)

** FAVORITE RUNNING GAG (RACC17):  Doc Nostalgia colliding with himself! 
  (Accepted by Doc Nostalgia)  HONORABLE MENTION:  People going "WOW" in 
Powernaut!  (Accepted by Powernaut 1968)

** Spider Spins:  LNH Wiki! (Accepted by Wikiboy)

Casey said, "Okay, I get their plan.  We'd better shut this down before 
they get to the Super Wizard or the Goddess."

"... Goddess?"

"Yeah."  Casey looked around.  All the exit doors were guarded.  "I 
think we might need that exit of yours...  Can we get a distraction?"

Across the table, the man sitting next to the lava lamp whispered. 
"What're you looking at *me* for?"

"*You've* got the bright shiny power!"

A professorial-looking man at the table said, "Never mind him.  I've got 
this one."  He got up, walked away from the table - then started 
glowing.  Guards moved toward him.

"Ah, thank you, Easily Discovered Man," Casey whispered.  "Rachel, it's 
time to call for your ride."

Rachel took out her whistle and blew it.

"You had to blow a whistle?"

"*That's what he gave me to call him!*"

Two Dorf guards held on to Easily Discovered Man, while others converged 
on Rachel's table.  But a naked man stood up at the next table, and 
exposed himself!  The guards stopped and gaped.  Casey said, "And thank 
*you*, Nudist Man."

Suddenly a yellow stretch limo came from nowhere and plowed through that 
group of guards!

Casey yelled, "Run for the taxi!"

Guards raised guns.  But the man by the lava lamp said, "Not this time! 
  Not with the power of - LAVA LAMP!"  A giant glob formed between the 
guards and Rachel's group, and absorbed gunfire as they piled in the limo.

At the podium, the lead Dorf smirked.  "Oh, did you say *power*?"  The 
lava lamp started shaking.  Its holder dropped it just before it 
exploded.  But he ducked inside the limo.

Sharon still stood outside.  Well, actually, she hovered.  One or two 
force bolts bounced off her.  But she still dove inside the limo, and 
slammed the door behind her.

Casey yelled at the driver, "Take off!"

"Right."  The limo screeched forward, and passed right through walls. 
"Got a destination in mind?"

Rachel was looking out the window.  "We're being chased!"

Casey looked.  "Dorf battlewagons.  Bad sign."  He turned to the driver. 
  "Where can you get us that's safe?"

"Aoh, the Higher Power in the coffee shop in Winnipeg should do."  He 
swerved, and pressed a button.

Rachel said, "How are you getting us to Winnipeg?"

"Limo with a *magic* motor.  Think of it as Chitty Chitty Bang Bang if 
it makes you feel better."  Now that Rachel had a chance to listen, the 
car *did* sound like like it was saying something, only "Can'tbe Saxon 
Brenton, Can'tbe Saxon Brenton..."

But one of the battlewagons had fired a missile.  It slammed into the limo.

Rachel shrieked, "Why aren't we dead?"

"Armor, miss."  But the driver was wildly turning the wheel.

They crashed.


They'd landed *inside* a brick building.  The car had landed on a big 
shelf, overlooking a bar!  The driver said, "Aoh!  This isn't Winnipeg!"

Everyone below looked up - except for one guy at the bar.  He was 
wearing a bandana, with a wide-brimmed hat slung on a strap over his 
neck, typing at a computer.  He said in a shrugging tone of voice, "I 
guess that's where they have to appear."

Above, Casey said, "Higher Power!  Yes!  But *is that it?*  Is *this* 
the Higher Power you were aiming for?"

The driver said, "Not THE Higher Power.  Y'know, there's more than one. 
  Good luck with *this* one.  Aoh, and your fare's been paid to here, 
but I am *so off duty* now.  If you'd like to talk with me down there at 
the bar, my name's Ron."  He climbed down from the shelf, walked to the 
bar to the guy at the computer, and said, "Yah, we should introduce 

The man at the computer shook hands.  "Okaay, I get it.  Hi, Ron.  I'm 
Scott.  I guess *they* want to talk to me now."  He turned to the 
curious barmaid.  "Yeah, they're with me.  I'm sure they'll clean up 
their wreckage.  But it *does* look good with the design.  Especially 
next to that wrecking ball."  Then he turned up to the shelf.  "You all 
might as well come on down."

Obsessive Compulsive Boy jumped down first, drinking the last of his 
Jolt City Cola. "Yay!  This has been so much like a video game but now 
we've put in the special code and now everything is going to be fixed"

Casey said, "Oh, no!  Obsessive Compulsive Boy's current obsession with 
soda has turned him into Attention Deficit Boy!"

Scott said, "Yeah, that's it..."

The boy continued.  "... so now we have to get these guys to call the 
villains off because they must be the ones who sent them"

"Kid.  Shut.  Up."  Obsessive Compulsive Boy was invisibly forced away - 
and around a corner!

The others gaped.  Casey said, "His compulsion power isn't working on 
this guy!"

But Ron said, "And well it shouldn't.  This is a *bar*.  In this realm, 
boys don't get to use their power in bars."

"Thank you, Ron."  Scott continued, and turned to the barmaid, "Ron will 
need the 23-ounce Irish Death.  These others will share a sampler, plus 
their own California Dreaming pizza."  The barmaid went off.

Ron said, "California Dreaming?"

"Hey, I don't name them, I just eat them.  *My* random pizza name for 
the day is..."  Scott looked at his cell phone.  "One Eyed Monkey!"

Casey had looked dumfounded.  But he said, "I get it!  We've ascended to 
The Writers!  The Ultimate Ninja's group did this and resolved the Beige 
Midnight crisis..."  And he just kept talking.  He was obviously the 
smartest one of this group, but even he was obviously stumped for the 
moment.  So...

"Uh, hi, Scott. I'm Rachel."

Scott shook her hand and said, "So *you're* Rachel.  You have *so much* 
to look forward to."

Casey said, "*Besides Rachel.*  What does *our group* have to look 
forward to?"

"Heh.  My new friend Ron actually brought you to the right place."  Ron 
grinned and gave a thumb up.  "You know those RACCies you left?  I'm *in 
charge* this year."

"So *you* brought the Dorfs in?"

"Err, committee decision.  But I'm in charge of getting you out."

"What do we have to do?"

"Err... You came here for the power of the Writers, right?  I'd guess if 
you eat of my food and drink of my drink, you'll get my power back where 
you live.  At least that's what *I* come here to get."

Casey seemed indecisive.  But Rachel knew who was making the deals here. 
  She said, "We're in."

"Great.  Here it comes."  The barmaid brought a wooden paddle holding 
small glasses of beer, and a small pizza with six slices.  "Eat of this 
fine food and drink these cups, and you shall have the same powers I 
have here."

The man called Lava Lamp drank the nearest glass and devoured a slice 

Casey von Aluminumfoil said, "I suppose we must."  Then he drank and ate.

The old black guy said, "It seems I rode here in a taxi from Hell. 
That's better than I deserve.  So I'll take it."  Then he drank and ate.

The hovering lady said, "*Another* world transit?  I'll definitely take 
a beer now."  She drank and ate.

One other costumed guy had stuffed into the limo with them.  He said, 
"I, Prince Charming, must insist the lady partake before me."

Rachel looked at him.  "You're *the* Prince Charming?"

"I am *a* Prince Charming.  Such is indeed my name.  I seem to have been 
trapped here before I can rescue my Lady Fair trapped elsewhere.  Lady 
Rachel, please do not delay to release us."

"Well, okay."  Rachel saw two little glasses of beer, of different 
colors.  She drank the darkest and took a slice of pizza.

"Ah, you take the *powerful* draught!  I would expect *no less* from a 
great woman like the one I love!"  Prince Charming took the yellow beer 
and the last slice.

"Uh... I guess we're done, then.  What about the boy in the lobby?"

Scott said, "I think he'll join you on your way out."

Casey yelled, "Wait!  We've ascended to the realm of the Writers!  Is 
this it?  Are you giving us anything *real* to take back?"

"Well, you do each have a bit of my power now.  I suppose that means you 
can each have one Plot Device power back home."

Obsessive Compulsive Boy dashed in.  "I heard we all got power from The 
Writer!  And he's writing us all at *that* computer so if I grab it we 
can have *all* the power of the Writers -"  He climbed on a barstool and 
grabbed for Scott's computer!

But Scott was holding on with one hand.  With his other, he raised a 
piece of paper and said, "Err, no. Goodbye."

The visitors disappeared!  (art at 

Scott turned to Ron and showed a drawing of seven heads disappearing in 
a poof of smoke, and a computer pulled out.  "Fortunately I saw this 
coming.  And I draw too...  I've got one more little pizza coming.  But 
would you like one?"

"Long as you got me covered.  And more of this fine Irish Death."

"Uh, how you getting home?"

"The boss is sending a crew for me and the car."

"Okay.  Love the car.  Give me one ride sometime."

"Deal.  Here's a whistle."


The Dorf had strung up awardees like trophies *on* trophies, with 
labels.  Since Rachel had left, there were...

** FAVORITE ONGOING SERIES (RACC2):  Correspondence With the Goddess! 
(Accepted by The Goddess) - Lydia was hanging from a trophy!

** FAVORITE MINI-SERIES (RACC3):  TIE!  Beige Midnight (Accepted by 
Ultimate Ninja) AND Ultimate Mercenary (Accepted by Ultimate Mercenary)!

** FAVORITE ARC (RACC4):  To Hell and Hell and Hell etc. ! (Accepted by 
The Devil) - The sunburned client was hanging from a trophy!  ... What? 
  *The* Devil?  HONORABLE MENTION:  The Last LNH Story!  (Accepted by 
Tara Shreds)

** FAVORITE SINGLE ISSUE (RACC5):  Beige Midnight #12!  (Accepted by 
Doctor Stomper)  HONORABLE MENTIONS:  System Corrupters #28 (Accepted by 
Crossover Queen) AND Ultimate Mercenary #7 (Accepted by Masterplan Lad)!

** FAVORITE HERO/PROTAGONIST (RACC6):  Lydia Devin/The Goddess!   Lydia 
was chained from her trophy to another one!  HONORABLE MENTION:  Kid 

** FAVORITE VILLAIN/ANTAGONIST (RACC7):  The Secret Living Language! 
HONORABLE MENTION:  Vapid Veterinarian!

MENTION:  The Devil!  - The sunburned Devil guy from the one trophy was 
chained to the bottom of this one!

** FAVORITE NEW CHARACTER (RACC9):  Lydia Devin/The Goddess!  Another 
chain for Lydia!

** FAVORITE PARODY/COMEDY (RACC10):  Easily-Discovered Man!

** FAVORITE ACTION/ADVENTURE (RACC11):  The Super Wizard From Space! 
HONORABLE MENTION:  Powernaut AND Beige Midnight (Accepted by Ultimate 

** FAVORITE DRAMA/ACRAPHOBE (RACC12):  Correspondence With the Goddess! 
- One more chain for Lydia!  Was that four now?  HONORABLE MENTION: 
ASH! (Accepted by Doctor Developer)

The Dorf Master kept speaking.  "And now we take the FINAL PRIZES!  We 
Claim the Power of the Writers!"

** Johnny Sokko Loving Cup for the Missing:  Jaelle!  Honorable Mention: 
  Jamie Rosen!

** Rabbit-Breeder's Cup for the Prolific:  Scott Eiler!  Rachel 
recognized the picture of Scott the supposed Writer from the bar!

AND Andrew Perron!  Honorable Mentions:  Scott Eiler AND Rob Rogers!

** MOST IMPROVED WRITER (RACC18):  Scott Eiler!  Honorable Mention:  Wil 

** FAVORITE NEW WRITER (RACC19):  Andrew Foltz!

** FAVORITE WRITER (RACC1):  Rob Rogers!  Honorable Mentions:  Wil 
Alambre AND Andrew Foltz!

The Dorf Master proclaimed, "We know *these* trophies are empty, FOR 
NOW.  But this ceremony will put even The Writers under our power!  The 
Great Power of the Dorfs!"


Casey said, "Oh, this is about to get even *worse* than capturing The 
Goddess.  It's time to use these Plot Device powers!"

The old black guy said, "Me first...  Powernaut!"  He was suddenly 
beside the bow-tied costumed guy from earlier.  The restraints broke apart!

Powernaut said, "... Stonewater Smith?"

"Yeah, it's me.  Remember I did you right at the end."

Powernaut broke free, and smarted smashing the trophy which had captured 
him!  The Ultimate Ninja and the Super Wizard From Space were free!

Rachel heard a voice behind her.  "Oooh, I want some of this action... 
*Invincible* Lava Lamp!"  The broken lamp from earlier reassembled and 
grew to table size.  Power things bolted it, but the bolts bounced off!

Casey said,  "This is getting out of control...  *Everyone Safe!*"  The 
audience disappeared, and so did Obsessive Compulsive Boy.

Sharon yelled, "Real powers back!"  She glowed with energy, and flew 
toward the stage to add to the chaos with the power objects and the 
freed heroes.

Uh oh, the group was getting low on wishes.  Rachel hoped Prince 
Charming had a good idea to end things...  The Prince proclaimed, "Off 
to free my lady!"  He disappeared.

It was down to Rachel.  She had the last wish.  How could she save them 
all?  But then she remembered her friends, in chains.  And she 
remembered, the one guy had said to watch them.  So she said, "Lydia!"

Rachel was suddenly at Lydia's side, and the restraints around her 
dissolved.  Lydia said, "Oh, you do not know what a right decision you 
have made."

"Thank you!  How can we end this?"

"Err, *we* is the wrong word."  Lydia gestured.


"Oooh..."  Rachel woke up in her own bed.  She remembered Lydia in a 
vivid dream.  Then she said...  "Prince Charming *and* an Invincible 
Lava Lamp?"


Author's Notes:

Hi.  I'm Scott the Writer.  I get prizes for quality sometimes, and for 
quantity often.  So the Internet group Rec.Arts.Comics.Creative has let 
me write their awards ceremony this year.  I've promised to publish on 
the weekend nearest May 1st.  To me, that means the weekend before, and 
the Thursday before *that*.  Obsessive Compulsive Boy has met his match 
in more ways than one.

Oooh, I've seen the results.  Truly it is a mixed blessing to see them 
before everyone else and in detail, as tabulator Andrew Perron well 
knows.  So I want people to know how many of these contestants could 
have become the winner with just one vote in the opposite direction. 
These are the Honorable Mentions.  It certainly made *me* feel better 
about some of those contests when I saw them.

As for the ceremony...  I'm tired of writing new text stories for *my* 
world.  I wanna play with everyone else's.  8{D>

By tradition, the RACCies ceremony is trans-universal.  All characters 
are always used without restriction, in the understanding that their use 
here does not affect their home storylines.  In that tradition I'm 
trying to return the characters without harm, but I'm also 
*incorporating* those storylines as much as feasible, so the story here 
need not be ignored.  This is my fourth year as contributor to the 
RACCies, and I've not ignored its story yet.  Not *entirely,* anyway.

This year, one awarded story had its characters ascend to meet the 
Writers.  So the ceremony has done the same.  Oh, good luck this time. 
I've always dreamed of a storyline like this for my own characters. 
Oooh, someone else's have come to me!  Please don't think this is 
pleasant from the Writer's point of view; it's more like running a help 
desk.  But for putting up with it this time, I've got a ride to anywhere 
fictional, thank you Ron the Taxi Driver from the Devil's Own Super 
Wizard Hell!

Each Writer in the group was invited to submit a character to go on that 
quest, or else have a character selected as randomly and haphazardly as 
possible.  For my own character, I'd sworn to roll dice.  I swear, the 
dice chose Stonewater Smith - even though he's starring in a Powernaut 
comic *right now*.  And he *has* been in RACC stories before 2013, 
though 2012 is an off year for him.  I had to decide:  Is he in his 
youthful 1944 body, his heroic 1962 body, or a cursed old man who's 
cranky like Internet Bill Cosby in 2011?  Based on what works for this 
story, I'm declaring Cranky Old Guy!  And how exactly did he die?  He 
*did* die; Satan dragged him out of Hell...  Oh, drama!  But his real 
name is on record:  Matthew Smith of (North) St. Louis, Missouri!  And 
he will say in some story, he betrayed all his friends! 

For what it's worth, the perfect Food of the Writers came to me on Pi 
Day.  The Food of course is Pizza Pi.  So there.


Author credits:  The awardees in this ceremony are of course governed by 
their respective creators.  But this story indulges in the use of the 
following characters:

*  Sharpshooter, Rachel Hawkins, Elana Devin, and Lydia Devin are 
characters of Andrew Foltz (mrnelson007).  Rachel is used by permission. 
  She is a *future* character by the standards of 
Rec.Arts.Comics.Creative in 2012.  But she's historic at 
http://goddesscorrespondence.tumblr.com/ .  And she's come on the scope 
in RACC 2013.

*  Anal-Retentive Analysis Kid II (not to be confused with 
Anal-Retentive Analysis Kid) and No, It Can't Be Saxon Brenton, He's 
Dead Kid are characters of Saxon Brenton.  You can blame the Dorf-run 
ceremony on Saxon too.  The concept came up at RACC-Con last year.

*  The Devil (Diabolical Devilman), the Super Wizard From Space, and Ron 
the Driver from Hell are characters of Wil Alambre.  http://wil.alambre.ca/

*  TerraStar and Sharon Venturi are copyright (c) 2012 by Dave Van 
Domelen.  Sharon may be derived from some other character, but she's of 
course different because she *hovers*.  8{D>

*  I would imagine Chevalier and this particular Prince Charming are 
copyright (c) 2013 by Darryl Hughes and Monique MacNaughton. 

*  Obsessive Compulsive Boy is a character of Mitchell Crouch and is 
used by permission.  His power is to whine until grownups do his 
bidding.  Too bad that aside from one waitress, all the grown targets 
were immune, huh?

*  Casey von Aluminumfoil is a character of Andrew Perron and is used by 
permission.  His powers are telepathy and limited precognition.  We may 
safely assume he was using those powers throughout the adventure to 
understand things, quietly so as not to be swatted.

*  Lava Lamp is a character of Arthur Spitzer.  He's kind of like Green 
Lantern, only with a lava lamp.  And thanks for having your LNH 
characters in a list so I could pick this one at random. 

*  Easily-Discovered Man is a character of Rob Rogers.

*  Nudist Man is a Tom Russell character.  Or maybe vice versa.  :)

*  Kid Kirby is a character of Jameel al Khafiz.

*  The Ultimate Ninja is a character of wReam.

*  The Dorfs are characters of John C. Daiker.

*  The Powernaut, Wyatt Ferguson, Ellipsis, and Stonewater Smith are 
copyright (c) 2013 by Eiler Technical Enterprises (Eilertech), as is 
this story.  Eilertech hereby grants free universal reproduction rights 
for this story, provided author credits are maintained and 
Rec.Arts.Comics.Creative (RACC) is mentioned.  http://www.eilertech.com/


Personal Note:  The Powernaut *almost* winning, I understand.  But *I* 
almost won WHAT?  I wasn't even *trying* for Mr. Congeniality!  Uh, thanks!

(signed) Scott Eiler, 25 April 2013