Last April, I posted about deciphering Haley’s dialogue in Rich Burlew’s Order of the Stick. Somewhat sheepishly, I later realised that figuring out Haley’s dialogue is pretty much equivalent to solving the cryptogram puzzles that come with some newspapers, near the crossword or jumble.
Anyhow, Haley’s dialogue in page 393, “Truth”, is fairly extensive and significant so as a service to my readers, I’m posting the deciphered dialogue here. Spoilers ahead, obviously.
Haley: NALE? I kissed Nale? Ugh!!
Haley: Woooooo! Kick his ass, Oddly Effective Elan!
Haley: You’ve got to be kidding me. Elan, you’re not buying this, are you???
Elan: I… I don’t believe you. You’re lying!
Haley: Damn straight he’s lying!
Nale: Is that really the dress of someone who’s NOT an evil temptress?
Haley: He bought me this dress! Come on, would ANY woman CHOOSE to wear this thing?
Nale: Wasn’t she the smart one in the party?
Haley: No! I’m not! I’m stupid! I’m so stupid!!
Elan: Haley… This… isn’t true, right? He’s just making it up?
Haley: Of course not! This is absurd! I'm Chaotic Good! Ish!
Nale: She does not look happy that I’m blowing her cover.
Haley: Why are you listenicg [sic] to him?? He’s the VILLAIN!
Nale: Oh yes. Laughing at you, not with you.
Haley: No, I haven’t!
Nale: She told me she couldn’t stnad to be near your incessant idiocy for one more day.
Haley: You have to believe me! He’s lying!!
Elan: I went through all this to save you, and you were a bad guy the whole time!
Haley: What?? No! NO!!
Nale: Very, very angry…
Haley’s self-loathing: He’ll never forgive you.
Elan: You’re worse than Nale is!
Haley: I can’t…
Haley’s self-loathing: He’ll learn to hate you.
Elan: I never want to see you—
Haley’s self-loathing: And then he’ll leave.
Haley: I can’t lose him…
Haley: I—I thought…
Haley’s self-loathing: Just like everyone else—
Nale: Angry enough to kill, even…
Haley: I thought—
And in the next panel, Haley regains the power of comprehensible speech. Hooray!