Fear and loathing


Well, when not posting headlines such as the irresistible Hacker penetrates Virgin (Virgin the Internet Company, you pervert), wacky internet magazine The Register is keeping us informed about important lunatics throughout the world. Today's loonies hark from Israel, land of milk, honey and zealots. Yes, it's yet another example of religious nuts.

Of course, since this particular batch of nuts is a bunch of Orthodox Rabbis, who've declared that the World Wide Web is naughty and should be avoided, I'm tempted to let this pass without comment, since, well, I'm not Jewish and tend to avoid passing judgement on the nuts of other religions. No, it's the Papacy I generally mock. And the Baptists. But everyone mocks the Baptists. But, anyway, I mentioned them anyway because, hey, it's not like any of them are going to be reading this, right? I mean, if you actually think these guys are correct, you wouldn't exactly be poncing about the World Wide Web and encountering this journal, now would you.

Of course the World Wide Web is naughty. It pulsates with a plethora of naughtiness undreamt of by mortal man! All those impure thoughts... all those un-civilized, rebellious urges... unclean! unclean! Shun them, keep them awaaaay! After all, heaven forbid you encounter anything that might cause you to question your world-view. Oooh, those naughty, contrary opinions and facts... Fear them! Fear their might!

Also, of course, there's porn. A plethora of porn. A panacea of porn. A pulsating, writhing mass of pornography. Now, it could legitimately be said that porn is a valid reason for fleeing the net, screaming in horror and flailing around with your arms. Of course, I'm of the opinion that the occasional bit of naughtiness never hurt anyone, but that's just me. Now, this is the bit that makes conservative groups wet themselves in stark terror. Not because they aren't, like the customers of porn, randy little bastards themselves, but because it displays for all to see the tastes of a decadent and repressed society. Secondly, it means they can't use the computer as a mind-numbing tool to keep their children busy while they go poke their noses into other people's business. And, thirdly, because it might lead to people questioning their time-honored philosophy of repressing society's urges. Because deep down, we know, that when you peel the bullshit away, the reason conservatives believe you shouldn't do certain things is Because God Says So (Or, more accurately, Because God's Spokesman Said So Last Sunday). And once you start questioning that... Well, it's rioting in the streets. Or is it?

Yep, conservatives are behind the repression of society's urges, and this is never good, because those urges just tend to manifest themselves in a vigorous and prolific dirty magazine industry. On the other side of the issue, you have the liberals, who don't mind if you act on your naughty urges, so long as the woman's on top and they all get to watch. So, really, you're kind of in trouble either way.

The one thing you learn about culture (CVLTVRE!) is that it's never in equilibrium. It's always swinging back and forth with actions and reactions and reactions to those reactions, and... Heck, just look at Russia, where you got to flip a coin every year or so to see wether it would be a year of slow relaxing of control, or iron-fisted crack-down, until eventually it swung all the way to revolution. And may well swing all the way back around to totalitarianism once again. You never know. So, it remains to be seen wether we're swinging towards more puritanism, or a thumbing-of-the-nose at puritanism and a move towards open hedonism. Of course, whichever way it goes, the next generation will presumably go the opposite. 'tis always thus. Well, unless we get a revolution at some point, in which case we can just put all the buggers up against the wall.

I've been eyeing the assorted candidates with an eye towards their Internet policies, and it's sort of a damned if you do, damned if you don't proposition. Conservative groups are all for amusing things like library filtering software and such, which is of course the first step towards control of the Internet's flow of free and questionable information. I mean, the government can't restrict free speech, but if they suggest licensing from a company whose filtering black-list contains, in addition to all those porn sites, stuff like, oh, I don't know, pages for alternate religions, alternate political parties, weird but generally harmless groups like the Friends of Lulu, et cetera... well, they're not the government, now are they. On the other hand, you've got the liberals, who will let you do pretty much what you like, as long as it doesn't violate political correctness, and as long as they get to watch. Meanwhile, the Reform party is in the kitchen, helping itself to your beer and mumbling something about "jack-booted thugs", and the Libertarians are in the living room, having a long and involved arguement with your goldfish.

Clearly, what's needed is a good, strong, dictatorship. Er, wait, no, that wasn't it.

Er.

Maybe an alien invasion. That always works in the movies.

Nah. On second thought, I think we're just fucked.


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