EXCEPTION, n. A thing which takes the liberty to differ from other things of its class, as an honest man, a truthful woman, etc. "The exception proves the rule" is an expression constantly upon the lips of the ignorant, who parrot it from one another with never a thought of its absurdity. In the Latin, "Exceptio probat regulam" means that the exception tests the rule, puts it to the proof, not confirms it. The malefactor who drew the meaning from this excellent dictum and substituted a contrary one of his own exerted an evil power which appears to be immortal.
Also, not to be distracted from the flesh-eating bacteria, but here's something I found on Slashdot that simply must be enthused about. It's everyone's favorite... the Wu-Tang Name Generator! Yes, plug in your own name, and it'll generate the name you'd have if you were a member of the Wu-Tang Clan (who are, as far as I can tell, a rap group that is either the most pretentious bunch imaginable, or a bunch of people who occasionally manage to stop laughing at the whole thing long enough to record an album or two). Unlike flops such as the 'Jedi Name Generator', this one produces names that are pretty darn amusing. I, for example, would have the name Monolithic Fishmonger-X.
And that's all I have to say about that.
So, flesh-eating bacteria.
Well, first, I should note that I get my information, not from the Popular Science issue (which I couldn't locate, damn my eyes) but from www.hogwatch.org. Go figure. For every cause, there's an advocacy site. They also note that apparently the legislature passed some griping bills about big pools o' hog waste back in '97, so maybe I'm a bit out of date in my ranting. On the other hand, they still seem to convey a tone that suggests that the farmers are sticking their fingers in their ears and yelling "La la la! I don't hear your evil laws!". Oh well. Also available are wonderful figures that tell you such details as the fact that your average pig is two and a half times as crapolific as your average person. Wow.
Anyway, the flesh-eating microbe is named pfiesteria, and it's pretty bad-ass. Barring some of the 800-pound gorillas of the microbial world which we've cooked up ourselves, this one is the 12th grade bully that goes around beating people up and stealing their lunch money. It's more of an algae than a bacteria, really, but it's bad-ass nonetheless. It seems to really love nitrogen-rich waters (and, gosh, those ol' festering pools do make a lot of nitrogen, don't they). Now, even this wouldn't be so bad, as normally, pfiesteria just hangs out, photosynthesizing like any good little algae should. However, this photosynthetic form is just one of the many forms our little friend can take on. Yes, it's not just an algae, it's a transformer! When a fish blunders along, pfiesteria changes form, secretes toxins that stun the fish, and then further toxins that dissolve its flesh, which pfiesteria then consumes, leaving a fish with, well, sodding great holes in it.
Now, normally this isn't a problem, except, well, these guys are toxin factories when they're eating, and so if anyone happens to go swimming in a watery area where the buggers are kicking piscene butt, well, those toxins are still cheerfulyl floating around. Amusing things that can result from this are memory loss, confusion, plus a host of respiratory, skin and intestinal problems. What fun!
After kicking a bit of piscene butt, our little microbial pal goes back to its' normal, happy, photosynthetic life. Waiting. (hums the 'Jaws' theme)
Pfiesteria. It's not what's for dinner. It ain't even on the menu.
Rant 'o the day contains no additives, preservatives or alien spores of any kind. Use only as directed. Do not expose to direct sunlight. Do not fold, spindle, multilate or remove identifying tags. Handle with care. Contains less than 3% milk fat by weight, not by volume. Certified 'Syndicate Approved'. Squeeze the lemon. Remember, kids, only users lose drugs.
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