"What? How the hell did THAT happen?" roared an MTV middle manager. "I thought we got rid of all those damn things in favor of more interesting stuff like 'Real World' re-runs."
"I'm just stunned by this news," remarked a fourteen year old in Akron. "I mean, I knew that they show funny music videos on shows like 'Beavis and Butthead', but the idea that they show music videos in all seriousness is... wow. I'm just stunned. How can anyone be that stupid?"
"MTV? What's that?" wondered an un-named New York C.H.U.D. "Oh, well, I'm sure it won't be in the least bit important, what with our plans to eat the pulsating flesh of all you surface-dwellers this New Year's."
In other news, today was the office party, ostensibly to celebrate getting lots of web pages sold, but really because we happily take any excuse available to sit out on the deck and swill espresso.
There was, once again, a prize giveaway, and, once again, I got a t-shirt. The problem with the whole giveaway thing is that they give all the cool s tuff (the Palm III's... the Rio's... the cookies...) away first, and then give away the t-shirts. So instead of building up our anticipation, we're surly and irritable by the time the anti-climactic ending rolls around. It's that extra little slap in the face that makes it a truly memorable experience. "Of all the people who won prizes, you came in last." You don't even have the grim satisfaction of not winning anything, and contenting yourself with dreams of victory next time around. No, you just have to realize that it's your destiny to accumulate an endless supply of t-shirts.
However, at least this time it was a shirt for the part of the company that I'm in, as opposed to the other t-shirt option this year, which was an item we gleefully called the "Geek shirt". Like we engineers need to wear shirts telling people we're geeks. As if it's not already obvious. "Wow! I can clean my car with this shirt!"
Next episode: Muffin O-Rama
Rant 'o the day contains no additives, preservatives or alien spores of any kind. Use only as directed. Do not expose to direct sunlight. Do not fold, spindle, multilate or remove identifying tags. Handle with care. Contains less than 3% milk fat by weight, not by volume. Certified 'Syndicate Approved'. Squeeze the lemon. Remember, kids, only users lose drugs.
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