If the only three things you can't escape in life are death, taxes and idiots, doesn't it make an awful lot of sense to combine two of them and tax all the idiots? Of course, some might argue that we should go a step farther by running over all the idiots with a steamroller and then 'taxing' their money, but in these enlightened and liberal times we pooh-pooh such notions.
In other European news, Russia has confirmed that they are, indeed, seeking to annex the Sudetenland... uh, that is, re-conquer Chechnya, that wacky little break-away republic. But hey, nothing wrong with a little conquest every now and then, right?
In still more world news, Microsoft is badgering the WTO to put a permanent moratorium on taxes and tariffs on software delivered over the web or via CD/DVD. Apparently the contention is that software has no value, and only the medium (which, in the case of the web, is free, or in the case of DVD-R, is fairly cheap) should be considered for tariff purposes.
No value, hunh? Well, in that case, I'll have to cast off those last smidgeons of guilt about that old copy of Microsoft Word 4 I keep around... After all, it's valueless! It has a net worth of $0!
Of course, the real reason for this is so Microsoft can switch to web-delivered apps and end piracy forever (after all, they control the originating point of the app). Of course, you'll have to give them unprecedented access to what you're doing all the time, but this is Microsoft. It's not like you'll have a CHOICE.
Our closing thought is this week's "Comic Book Quote of the Week" from Birds of Prey #13... or was it #12... can never keep the damn things straight.
(In response to a squad of good guy troops trying to hold off an onslaught from a bunch of Para-demons; "Looks like they've skunked us, [Captain]..." "Not yet. We just haven't applied enough gun to the situation!")
Gee, go and spoil the suspense, why don't you.
Another continuity burp, here, as we go from a) Gohan lying on the ground battered while Vegeta flies off, to b) Gohan perfectly happy, Vegeta back to leaning against a tree and being as surly and goth as you can be when you're a space monkey with enormous hair.
However, it should be noted that we go through this entire episode without anyone smacking on anyone else. No pummelling. At all. Ye gods.
Anyway, we start off with everyone angsting about not being able to bring Goku and Krillin back, until finally Vegeta simply can't take the angst any more and volunteers his own suggestion; Earth has a gate to the spirit realm (How'd Vegeta find out about that?), so they can wish Goku and Krillan there, and THEN bring them back to life. Everyone's stunned at Vegeta being so helpful, and Gohan tries to thank the (ex?) villain, only to be rebuffed with surl. Bulma, however, grins cheerfully at Vegeta and remarks that she's glad Vegeta's feeling more helpful, because he's actually kind of cute, which completely flusters the mighty Saiyan. Vegeta just shuts up now (all he really wants Goku back for is to find out how he became a Super-Saiyan). Wait, wasn't Vegeta out to conquer the universe just a moment before? Mood swings, fear them.
The problem having been solved, Bulma perks right back up and starts arranging things, inviting the Nameks to come stay at her place until they can find a new planet to settle on; isn't it convenient that Bulma's father owns the largest corporation on Earth? She also invites Vegeta along, the villain apparently forgiven for his earlier invasion of Earth (which, for those of us keeping score, resulted in the destruction of two entire cities, most of Earth's defense forces, and no less than four of Earth's greatest heroes), not to mention all those dead Nameks. On the other hand, he could wipe the floor with everyone else in this episode, so it's better to keep him happy, right?
Back at Capsule Corp, Dr. Briefs is, er, briefing the crew of the spaceship as they prepare to launch for Namek. ["When you launch, it'll feel like someone's trying to pull your brains out through your feet. But it'll pass!"] Chi-Chi, heavily armed and surly, is ready to go, but Dr. Briefs is interrupted by a phone call from Bulma reporting their status, that Gohan's fine, and that they need a transport or two, etc. Our Heroes facefault (a difficult feat when you're strapped into a seat), and set off to rescue Bulma and friends from the set of Bambi.
Everyone goes back to Capsule Corp, where they poke around happily a bit. Vegeta discovers the space pod, all fuelled and ready, and files that fact away for later, although he's interrupted by Bulma's parents being relentlessly nice to him. One wonders what Bulma told them ("Mom! Dad! I found a partly reformed space warrior! He followed me home, can I keep him?"). Vegeta is doomed to the horrible fate of people being nice to him.
Time passes.
No, really. "And then, a hundred and thirty days passed." With the Nameks learning Earth customs (poker? my god, they've learned how to gamble! their pure and innocent culture is doomed!), Vegeta finding new and interesting walls to lean against and look surly, and the Ginyu-Frog becoming the undisputed lord and master of... the fish-pond!
It seems the Namekian Dragonballs recharge in a Namekian year... or about a third of an Earth year. Soon enough, they're ready, and Our Heroes gather around (all of them; Piccolo, all the normal Nameks, Vegeta, Bulma's Parents, Gohan, Chi-Chi, Bulma, Oolong, Yamcha's flying cat, Master Roshi (the old guy), Yajirobe, et cetera). Out pops the mighty Dragon of Namek.
In the middle of the city.
Panic ensues among the civilian population ("Oh no! It's Godziller!") before they realize the Dragon appeared over Capsule Corp HQ ("Everyone go home, nothing to be worried about, it's just another of Dr. Briefs weird experiments..."). I guess after a while, everyone just gets sort of conditioned to the level of weirdness...
Anyway, Bulma (through Dende) makes the first wish, to bring Krillin and Goku to the Earth gate to the spirit realm... the Dragon moves Krillin, but can't move Goku, because Goku's still alive! Everyone ker-blinks, including Vegeta, who, by the way, is still wearing his battered battle armor. Uh, Vegeta, everyone else has changed their clothes at least once in those hundred and thirty days. Just because you're a horrible space tyrant doesn't mean you don't need a change of clothes every now and then. Oy!
Anyway, Bulma then formulates a new wish, to bring Goku to Earth. But the Dragon can't comply, because Goku doesn't want to come. Everyone ker-blinks again. No, the Dragon says, Goku will come home when he's good and ready. Everyone wonders why (Master Roshi's answer is the most amusing, "He fears the one thing in the universe more terrifying than Frieza! The wrath of his WIFE!"). The Dragon starts getting snippy, so Bulma whips off a new wish, to bring Krillin back. Pop, there's Krillin, and everyone's happy. Next, they pick one of the guys from the Next Dimension to bring back, Yamcha (who gets rudely dumped in the fish pond; the Namek Dragon not being above a little snippiness in the course of granting a wish).
Vegeta, meanwhile, wonders what Goku's up to, then realizes the Super-Saiyan is probably off training somewhere, getting even stronger. This pisses Vegeta off and he promptly sneaks off and steals the space pod, flying off. Whups. So much for Earth's last Faster-Than-Light ship. Next time buy a Club(tm).
Another hundred and thirty days pass.
Is this really written by the same people who took ten episodes to do a five minute fight scene?
Everyone gathers and summons the Dragon again, although they all look a bit silly in their normal outfits after all this running around in Action Gear(tm). This time, they bring Tien and Chau-Tzu back to life, and the last wish is spent transporting the Nameks to a new planet somewhere, though not before Gohan and Dende have a tearful goodbye. Awww.
Everything goes back to normal, as the current plot arc is at last over. It began with Raditz, nearly, what, ninety episodes ago? And we've finally restored the status quo, with everyone alive once more, the Nameks sent home and our heroes scattering back to their own plans and homes. And Gohan, one time Space Hero, is back to going to school and doing homework. How the mighty have fallen.
Ninety-episode plot over-arcs. Yowza.
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