Well, in the realm of other things I'm not making up, scientists have announced the creation of the Cat-Cam. No, it's not a web-cam that does nothing but watch someone's cat, it's an actual electronic feed that shows you what the cat is seeing. It's fascinating that they've finally been able to decode the protocol of the simpler neural connections between eyes and brain. Now that we've got READ access, maybe some day we'll get WRITE access working, and then we'll be able to conquer problems like blindness and such. Which can only be a good thing, because all of us computer geeks are no doubt wearing our our ocular organs at a prodigious rate, what with all this staring at the monitor all the time. And besides, wouldn't YOU like to look like Geordi?
But there's also a disturbing side to this, in that now your cat can be used to spy on you! Yes, you take Mr. Fluffles into the vet for a routine operation, and then, when he returns, he is no longer merely a cat, but a Cat-Cam, a roving operative for the House Committee For Squishing Non-Patriotic Americans! Just think at all the agents of various acronymic organizations who'll go mad trying to gain vital national intelligence from your cat while Mr. Fluffles cheerfully spends hours investigating the wonder of the kitchen drapes!
Now, what we really need to worry about is when someone rigs up a device to tell us what cats are thinking (which, some say, is probably "Me! Me! Me! Pay attention to me! Me! Me? ME! Feed me NOW, human!"). We've long known that cats understand us (they just choose, more often than not, to ignore us, or look at us like we're completely out of our fornicating minds), but once cats can make themselves understood... well, it's only a matter of time before they achieve total world domination. And then, as Douglas Adams says, there are some who believe this has already happened.
Also on the discovery-o-meter today, scientists are fairly sure they've discovered a 10th planet toddling about in the Oort (which is norwegian for 'chitlins') Cloud at the edges of our solar system. Only, it seems to be going backwards, and it seems to be really sodding huge, three times as large as Jupiter. Thus, it's probably a brown dwarf, a leftover planet that got lost and ended up stuck in our rathole of a system, or possibly a black hole that'll come to destroy us all. Or maybe they just forgot to carry the one.
Regardless, when it eventually curves inwards to intersect the orbit of our fair planet, raining flesh-eating Thread down on our helpless cities, we'll all know to go out to the stables, saddle up our dragons, and go... wait, what was I talking about, again?
Well, now we know the truth. They've been deliberately wasting our time. More on this in a moment.
You know, someone recently remarked that, with a lot of anime series, even though they have 20 minutes or so of episode, at the end, you sometimes feel like you got even less out of them than you get out of the average Roadrunner short. Case in point...
We start the episode with Chi-Chi (Gohan's mother, for those who've forgotten) determined to go save her son, packing up a big duffel bag with supplies, books, and the occasional bazooka. The rest of the minor characters, including Chi-Chi's father, Kamesennin (the old guy), Oolong the shape-shifting pig, and one of the three cats, plus Yaijirobe the random schmo with a sword, try to keep her from leaving, but... wait a minute. Oh my god, what happened to their voices?! I see we've gone back to the 'pick a bunch of random guys off the street' school of voice actor hiring again. The pain... the pain...
Anyway, they stop Chi-Chi from attempting to leave by reminding her that they only have one ship, and she crashed it already. But then, with perfect timing, Dr. Briefs (Bulma's father) comes in, informing them all that he's made repairs to the ship. Everyone glares at him, and he's appropriately baffled. Renewed scuffling breaks out as they try to prevent Chi-Chi from leaving.
Also amusing in this segment is the fact that there were presumably some puns, which simply didn't translate at all, but the sound effects guys left the rimshots in anyway. Thus making for a truly surreal experience (what the hell? was there a joke in there somewhere?!)
Back on Namek, more fighting. Goku and Frieza fight, and fight, and fight and fight and fight, smacking each other about some. Frieza comments that this is the first time he's felt pain in a long time. Goku comments (after smacking Frieza about), that "Boy, he looks ticked. I'd sure hate to be me right now. Unfortunately, I've got no choice." ... Uh, okay. Frieza chucks rocks at Goku, who dodges and destroys them. Irritated, Frieza raises a huge chunk of land with telekinesis, and chucks it at Goku, who tries to catch it (and is apparently crushed). Goku escapes, blowing a hole through the rock, and looks smug, only to get ambushed by Frieza, who traps him in an energy ball that will explode if it hits anything other than Frieza. Frieza kicks Goku around like a soccer ball and then hurls him towards the horizon. A massive boom results, creating an explosion that's visible from orbit, and hurling the three Johnny Bench impersonators who've been watching to the ground. And yet, Goku is, of course, okay, having somehow been faster than the explosion. Piccolo points out that Goku and Frieza have just been playing around.
Yes, that's right, these last two episodes have been a deliberate waste of our time.
Frieza babbles something in his own language (translation: Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelt of elderberries!), then translates it as "Let's get down to business." Goku and Frieza agree to show their true powers.
I'd like to point out, at this point, that they've been fighting Frieza for THREE SOLID WEEKS OF EPISODES. This is like an entire season! Can you imagine if this was run weekly instead of daily? (This fall, on UPN... Dragonball Z! Our heroes take on Frieza! And be sure to tune in next spring, as they continue fighting Frieza!)
Crikey.
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