Frankly, the world is a cruel, cold, heartless sort of place filled with misery and shame, or at least modest amounts of embarassment. However, it is also a source of glorious wackiness. I mean, any reality involving things like candies shaped like Jar Jar Binks' tongue shouldn't be taken too seriously. Yes, yes, I know it's the only reality we've got, but really, I think we should just hang onto it for a bit until we can figure out how to trade up to the deluxe version. No sense getting too attached to the thing, eh wot?
I guess it has a lot to do with the fact that I'm a lucky little bastard. Oh, sure, things go wrong for me, but they're always my fault. It's refreshing to know that you're not being struck down because of some random wackiness, but because you were, in fact, being an idiot. Which is in marked contrast to most other people, who fate seems to cheerfully dump on. And yet the worst bit of random wackiness I've yet to encounter is someone taking a key to the left side of my car, possibly out of enviousness at my style and skill in dramatically seizing a key parking space. And even then, it was only a leetle scratch.
Unfortunately, this also results in my joking about everything, even if it's only dark humor. Some people find this impossibly annoying, but hey, if you can't laugh at life, what can you laugh at? Besides Jar-Jar Binks, I mean. Years of being immersed in swirling angst have brought me to the point where, unless there's an actual dead body involved, chances are I'll joke about it. Sometimes I even have enough tact to keep the jokes to myself.
Which is no doubt good for the rest of you, because, man, I sure wouldn't want to put up with my pretentiousness if it wasn't funny. Perhaps I'm a wild and crazy lunatic in a world of drab seriousness. Or perhaps the rest of you are loonies and I'm the only sane one. Or, perhaps, we're all merely pigments in the imagination of the One True Herring.
Hmm. Mental note. Must relate the story of the One True Herring at some point.
And to think today's babble was just going to be on the proliferation of those 'God' billboards. You know the ones. "Stop taking my name in vain, or I'll make rush hour longer -- God". Weird, wild stuff.
Well, I was right. Nothing whatsoever happened in the 'missing episode'. Oh, well, it looks like Vegeta managed to blast off Freeza's armor. But, uh, that's about it.
Freeza takes a moment to fill in Vegeta's backstory. Vegeta was the prince of the people of the planet Vegeta, whose father, the leader, was King Vegeta. (Gosh, what imaginitive people these Saiyans are.) The Saiyans were Freeza's mightiest servants, conquering worlds at his whim, but chafing under his iron rule. Freeza took Prince Vegeta with him to train the boy as a loyal follower, which pissed off King Vegeta no end, and eventually the king came for his son, leading the entire Saiyan army against Freeza's forces when Freeza stopped by on an inspection. Freeza, of course, casually exterminated the king and his elite bodyguard, then stepped out of his ship (being such a bad-ass that he didn't even need a space-suit) to watch the battle raging across the planet. Just for the heck of it, he then hurled an energy blast of such power that it blew the planet apart from within, annihilating the Saiyan people (and most of Freeza's army as well), while Freeza himself cackled with glee at the impressive fireworks.
Vegeta, in turn, revealed that he figured this all along and was only pretending to be a loyal follower until he could kill Freeza.
Meanwhile, Goku continues healing and Piccolo continues flying.
Freeza, surly now, decides he'll really show these guys what for, and transforms (he's not just a supervillain; he's a transformer!) into a larger, even more surly form, in which to kill them. And, upon completion of his size increase, reveals that his fighting power in this form is over a million.
"Sha, whatever," replies Vegeta. Freeza demonstrates his power by draining all the color from the animation cels. Er... by focussing so much energy that the animation goes all black and white... Er... okay, so he just blows a lot of stuff up, and things go colorless while he's doing it. Tidal waves, earthquakes, tsunami winds, yadda yadda.
Bulma, meanwhile, has somehow gotten lost in the wilderness again, and has to deal with panicked Namekian wildlife stampeding away from Freeza's power. [Bulma: "I have... nothing left... to live for... well, except revenge on those jerks for leaving me out here..."]
Goku continues healing. Piccolo remarks about the massive power level, and continues flying.
Freeza thinks a bit over who he'll kill first while his opponents wet themselves in fear. Even Vegeta is cowed by this awesome power. Finally, the decision is made, and Freeza lunges at Krillan, lashing out and killing the Earth warrior in one blow. Krillan drops into the ocean below and sinks beneath the waves, with Freeza getting in the way of Gohan as he tries to rescue his friend.
This makes Gohan angry. Reeeeeal angry. Freeza is shocked as Gohan pops open a truly economy-sized can of whup-ass on him, smacking the villain out of the sky and clobbering him repeatedly while he lays there. Of course, we all know that Freeza's just going to get up and laugh it off next episode, but dang, it sure looks impressive.
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