But still, combine delayed, but promised gratification with cut-throat capitalist competitivism, plus the lovely fuzziness of the comment system, and you've got a dangerously seductive tool. Imagine - YOUR input into someone's profile could make or break their eBay 'career' (well, not REALLy, but still). You MATTER. Your assessment of people will go on their Permanent Record, for all to see and partake in! Your importance is beyond compare!
Clearly, this has driven many eBay users completely mad. If you've ever read eBay comments, they're typically something like this, to quote one from my own eBay profile.
Man. And I thought I had an inflated sense of my own self-worth. Poor fellow, it's clearly driven him mad. Three exclamation marks, the sure sign of a deranged mind. In an atmosphere like this, it's almost like someone who merely says something like 'prompt transaction' is damning you with faint praise.
It's that seductive lure of mutual back-patting. Good god, people, will no-one think of the children, being lured in by this obsession-building monstrosity? We must crush eBay! Crush it NOW! Bwahahahaha!!! Crush it in the name of America's children!
In other news, Dragonball Z.
Apparently Cartoon Network tagged the company who did the initial dubbing to do a new version. Or... did they? The new dubbing is clearly sub-standard. It lacks the musical pulse that defines fighting anime (and keeps your attention from being taken up by the rhododendrons as opposed to the screen). It lacks all the voice actors from the old version, or, if they are the same, and some of them clearly aren't, they've had about a year and a half to fall out of character, and their accents are pale shadows of the campy glory of the earlier dub. Plus, Bulma is now a valley girl. Eeeegh.
On the plus side, um, new DBZ! Also, Cartoon Network has finally heard our prayers, and no longer will they show the mind-sucking horror of the New Adventures of Johnny Quest. Instead, they will show Ronin Warriors. Yes! We must eliminate all American animation from Toonami! Now we have THREE dubbed Japanese shows and one Canadian show! The power! The glory! Also, Cartoon Network seems to have a parody in the works. The Scooby Doo Project, due out in October. It should be a glorious, glorious thing. If there's anything in need of a good evisceration, it's The Blair Witch Project.
Then, much happened, including an episode almost entirely taken up by Goku handing out Senzu Beans ("Senzu! For all your Plot Device, Instant Healing Needs!") to the three pummeled heroes, chatting amiably while the three surviving members of the Ginyu Force (Racoome, Jayce and Verter) stared in shock, and then one-punching the mighty Racoome.
But that wasn't enough for Our Hero, Goku, as he then proceeded to humiliate Jayce and Verter by simply standing there as they did their villainous posing and hurled attacks at him, never managing to actually lay a finger on him due to his amazing speed.
But perhaps we all need a refresher on what has come before.
After Vegita's attack on Earth, many of the Earth Heroes were dead, oh, sorry, 'Sent To The Next Dimension'. Plus, the Dragonballs of Earth were no more, due to some random bit of whup-ass, presumably. So Krillan and Gohan and Bulma rigged up a space-ship to take them off to Namek, and, well, left. Krillan and Gohan being some of the few Earth heroes still standing, even if they were both mini-bois, and Bulma tagged along as the team fixit. Stuff happened, and eventually they arrived on Namek. Meanwhile, behind them, Goku recovered from his beating at the hands of the villains and got in another spaceship to follow, doing all sorts of wacky and extremely painful practicing on the way to prepare him for the mighty battle that would surely come. As if this wasn't enough, Vegita, who had been allowed to leave Earth, had recovered from HIS injuries, and ALSO headed for Namek.
More adventures happened, but eventually the villainous Freeza, and his henchmen the Ginyu Force, had successfully gathered the seven Dragonballs of Namek, while Vegita and the two Earth heroes had to ally in the vain hope of, well, surviving, which Racoome spoiled by clobbering them all. Bulma, for her part, got abandoned in a little crevice to fend for herself, which severely annoyed her, as Martial-Arts Heroes don't normally carry radios to keep her appraised of what's going on.
Back to the present.
Despite the mighty power of their posing, and the skill of their teamwork, Verter and Jayce were no match for Goku, who eventually got tired of dodging them and smacked Verter down in moments, being faster than even the Ginyu Forcer's amazing speed. But not before humiliating them even more. (Jayce: "Darn you, make a move already!" Goku shrugs, lashes out and breaks Jayce's nose, then goes back to his Manly Pose(tm, pat pend). Verter: "Jayce! Does it hurt? Is it bleeding?! Be careful, you'll stain your gloves!" Jayce: "Verter, just... just shut up, okay?!")
Jayce, not being a complete idiot, decides that discretion is the better part of valour and flees when Goku gives him the chance. This pisses Vegita off no end, and he goes off on a little rant about how the Ginyu Force are such amazingly evil guys and letting even one of them escape is foolish. Goku points out, of course, that he let Vegita go back on Earth, and good thing, too, as Vegita saved Gohan and Krillan from the Ginyu Force, at the cost of a severe beating. Maybe Vegita's not such a bad guy after all. Well, no, he IS such a bad guy. Verter and Racoome were clearly alive after Goku's clobbering, but the first thing Vegita does when the fight's over is kill them. Not 'send to the next dimension', but KILL them. Now we can see why the original version stopped the dubbing at the previous episode, as Vegita quite clearly, on camera, makes Verter's neck go all bendy-wendy. Yeep. The distinction is clear; Goku's a hero, he believes people ought to be given a second chance. Vegita's a soldier. He doesn't allow his enemies to live if he can possibly help it.
Next, they talk some. Goku doesn't seem particularly concerned about Vegita having whacked those two villains, but then, if he's not concerned about the fact that this entire quest was caused by Vegita popping open a big can of whup-ass on Earth's hero population, then why should he? Vegita's all for running away bravely, believing that Freeza's already used the Dragonballs to obtain immortality, until Krillan, in a rare moment of insight, points out that if he had, all sorts of cool Dragonball-related fireworks would have gone off, and none have. Plans shift in Vegita's mind...
Meanwhile, back at Freeza's ship, Captain Ginyu chews out Jayce for running away. Then, they pose some more. But both realize that really, it isn't as much fun without their fallen comrades, and this enrages Captain Ginyu. Leaving the many nameless lackies to guard the Dragonballs, he and Jayce head back to deal with Goku.
Sensing their approach, Vegita quickly comes to the realization that if the two remaining villains are on their way here, and Freeza's power signature is off somewhere else, then the Dragonballs have been left un-guarded. Fortunately, everyone else figures this out too. Goku sends Krillan and Gohan off to retrieve the Dragon Radar from Bulma, dig up the Dragonballs, and then... well, they don't know the activation 'password' either. Apparently THESE Dragonballs are password-protected or something. They further realize, to their horror, that Freeza is heading for Guru's place, to get the password from him, but Guru isn't likely to give it. Plus, Freeza doesn't know that if Guru dies, the Dragonballs stop working...
Captain Ginyu and Jayce arrive as the two mini-bois fly off, and the two villains stare down the two heroes. Or, rather, the hero and the villain who happens to be fighting the other villains. Vegita promises to watch Goku's back in the fight, then, not being an idiot, runs bravely away as soon as an opportunity presents itself. He guesses, correctly, that he's completely irrelevant in this fight, and his best option is to follow the mini-bois, wait for them to activate the Dragonballs, then interrupt them with his own wish.
Meanwhile, Goku and Captain Ginyu fight. And fight. And fight and fight and fight. And fight some more. While Jayce sits on the sidelines making impressed comments about their relative power levels. For once, Goku seems to have met his match, as Captain Ginyu is an equally powerful fighter, but also an extremely skilled one. He may use dramatic posing (which Goku mocks, enraging the villain), and flashy attacks, but he doesn't rely on them, and is always ready for Goku's now-patented 'pop up from behind and issue forth a boot to the head' maneuver. The two pummel each other in a fairly even match, devastating most of the surrounding area, until Jayce finally spots an opening and intervenes, hurling an energy ball at Goku. The hero dodges this pathetic attack, but it distracts him long enough for Captain Ginyu to get the pin. Teamwork. Egads, who'd have thought the villains would be better at it than the heroes?
Meanwhile, everyone's plans are ruined when Bulma uses the Dragon Radar, spots the seven Dragonballs in one place, and heads off to retrieve them herself, having had just about enough of sitting around passively waiting for the heroes to do all the work. This could be a good thing, could be a bad thing...
Rant 'o the day contains no additives, preservatives or alien spores of any kind. Use only as directed. Do not expose to direct sunlight. Do not fold, spindle, multilate or remove identifying tags. Handle with care. Contains less than 3% milk fat by weight, not by volume. Certified 'Syndicate Approved'. Squeeze the lemon. Four out of five dark elves surveyed agree: It's surl-a-riffic!
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