It's also a good thing I don't have much gadgetry-of-car. I mean, cell phones, CD players... onboard computers. Bah! Distractions that cause you to run into things. Normal car radio can be worked by touch, without ever glancing away from the road, as can Our Friend, the Tape Player. A particularly skilled person can also change tapes without ever looking away from the road (although bringing new tapes up into your field of view for a quick glance is generally recommended). But CDs? You can't even open the cases with one hand.
Clearly, what's needed are gadget-monkeys to keep track of all your car gadgetry, and, as an added bonus, fling feces at people who tailgate you.
In the "I can't tell, is this funny or just wrong?" category today, we have the Onion. "With four months worth of healing complete, vigorous security features in place, etc, jocks at Columbine are once more free to oppress the unpopular without fear of reprisal. 'You know,' remarked a cheerleader, 'I dont think a school where you are too afraid to beat up on the math geeks, drama fags and other nerds is a school I want to go to.'" Yeowch! There's always the part of you that says, "Hey, that's not funny. That's just too close to the truth." Then there's the other part of you that howls "Hey! That's a hoot! Why the hell didn't I come up with it first?!"
Moving right along...
I find myself oddly able to tolerate BBQ flavor chips, yet not Sour Cream and Onion flavor. Egads. I must have reached the point in my career where I'll cheerfully and unquestioningly eat just about any snack within easy reach of the desk. I still pine for the days of PLAIN potato chips, though...
In the "startlingly deep observation" category today, cults of personality. You see, Tallahassee, as a "government" city (ie, most of our local industry involves the state, be it actual government or colleges), tends to attract, well, interesting people. Like Costume Boy, last seem jogging along in a Superman outfit.
Also people like 'King Love', Tallahassee's resident nutbar. King Love's schtick was poncing about on the sidewalks at major intersections, wearing a bright, shiny outfit and cape, waving around signs with fascinatingly strange things on them, like 'King Love for Governor'. People were alternately amused and frightened by him, which is the sign of a good dose of lunacy at work. Harmless, yes, but well beyond the insanity event horizon and cheerfully accellerating.
So King Love eventually kicked it (as people tend to eventually do), and the Tallahassee Democrat (our local paper) practically eulogizes the guy. I mean, he was interesting, sure, but he was just a broke loony, when you get right down to it. Tales of his doings are legend in this tiny town, sure, but still, he was just some guy, ya know?
Maybe there's an idea there. Besides the one the goes 'Tallahasseans must be REALLY bored'. Perhaps this idea is that you should, if you want to become famous, do something amusingly wacky like declare yourself Emper(or/ess) of your local state, and go around issuing your own currency, passports, giving speeches, sponsoring events, et cetera. The whole Emperor Norton schtick. Might just work.
Or maybe people around here are just really bored.
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