"It's so obvious!" exclaimed Rev. Judas T. Winkermeister from the First Second Church of Delaware and Surrounding Environs. "We have to ban parenting. One hundred percent of today's troubled and violent youths have parents. One! Hundred! Percent! Surely I can't be the only one who sees the obvious problem here."
In a move applauded by some as "progressive" and derided by others as the "stupidest damn thing to come out of Washington since the last amazingly stupid damn thing they did", a coalition of Democrats and Republicans announced shortly thereafter that they would begin drawing up legislation based on this new philosophy, entitled the Child Registration And Protection Act. Sources in the capitol state that this new legislation will combine complete government control (some prefer to call it "voluntary mandatory supervision") of child rearing, and the obviously necessary twenty-four hour surveillance of absolutely everything which will be necessary to ensure that no un-authorized parenting goes on.
"I'd comment," stated one noted Libertarian philosopher, "But the sheer stupidity of this whole thing has caused my brain to spontaneously explode."
"The C.R.A.P. Act will finally break the cycle of violence among our youth," observed some random Senator in the halls of the capitol building. "It's the logical final solution to all our troubles with America's children. I mean, why piddle around with half-measures and babble about "it takes a village" when you can take that concept to its' logical end?"
"Will no-one think of the children?!" exclaimed proponents of the new legislation as they savagely beat opponents of it with large sticks. "My God! You wrong-thinking animals!"
More on this late-breaking story as it develops.
Rant 'o the day contains no additives, preservatives or small woodland creatures of any kind. Use only as directed. Do not expose to direct sunlight. Do not fold, spindle, multilate or remove identifying tags. Handle with care. Contains less than 3% milk fat by weight, not by volume. Squeeze the lemon.
THIS SPACE FOR RENT