Trademark law. We hates it, my precious. We hates it foreverrrrrr! Just when you think it's safe to sit yourself down in front of the computer with a copy of Houseplants of Gor and enjoy an evening sitting around doing nothing of any importance, you recall such evil things...

Our company is apparently getting into a bit of trouble because our competitor trademarked a word we need to use. Obviously I can't say the _exact_ word in this Litigation Nation, but I can describe the situation thustly.

Imagine that there are various new start-up sites competing to provide services for, say, Librarians on line. Now, assume that the first of these out the gate is, say, Librarian.Com, and others swiftly follow. Now, say that Librarian.Com is a New Media Frankenstein crudely spot-welded onto the body of a larger, old corporation that's surly about doing anything that requires actual innovation. Smaller, less surly sites are quickly overtaking it with a vastly superior product.

The solution, naturally, is to trademark the word "Librarian".

Apparently this is perfectly legal, despite the fact that it's 1) An actual word, 2) An actual word that everyone was using in this context before someone trademarked it, and 3) An actual word that it's bloody hard not to use. How do you describe a librarian without actually using the word "Librarian"? Furthermore, how do you explain to surly customers that they can't actually describe themselves as a "Librarian" on your site, despite the fact that they really are a Librarian, employed by a Library, with a smegging degree in Library Science.

Surl, surl.

If the company management were more devious, we'd probably go looking for a phrase they need to use, trademark that and force them to allow us to use their trademark in exchange for their getting to use ours. Unfortunately, I don't think they're as devious as me. More's the pity, really.

Or maybe this is all a rumor brought on by too many burritos on the guy who told people about it. But... the sad thing is, this sounds like something you can legally do.

Maybe those Libertarians aren't quite as insane as I thought they were.

Dragonball Z Update: Krillan and Gohan face off against legions of surly, betentacled space slugs! Which are conveniently dispatched by lots of Ki Power(tm). Meanwhile, the aliens reveal their evil plot. They, too were marooned on this world, and they were tricking Our Gang to ponce around while they figured out how to use the ship. No, wait, they already knew how to use it because they were telepaths. Oh, no, wait, there's some kind of stellar wind preventing anyone from taking off right now. Wait a minute, why didn't the gang notice this on the way in, then? And why did the planet look like Namek when the aliens hadn't had the chance to psi-scan the gang yet? And... Look, ma! Plot holes!

Turns out the aliens didn't get a very accurate psi-scan because they haven't figured out the command phrases for the space-ship by the time they have a chance to take off in it. So they promptly capture Bulma and threaten her until she coughs up the command word (which takes about five seconds; way to show some heroic spine, there, Bulma). All is saved as Our Heroes, oddly untouched by space slug slime, return from battle and lay waste to the aliens in about a second.

Um. And then they, um, take off and leave. Wow. How... climactic. Yay.

Meanwhile, Goku is back in the hospital, with his (wife? significant other?) Gigi, the mother of Gohan, Goku's son, who's off traipsing about the galaxy with Bulma, who has the hots for Goku. Er, right. Anyway, Gigi babbles happily about how Goku's finally lying down and healing like a man... except he's not, he's trying to sneak out again. Except this time the hospital staff are ready and back in bed he goes. Man. No wonder he's willing to put up with savage beatings from evil aliens every time he goes on adventures. It's a chance to get away from Gigi.

MEANwhile, Vegita surls.

Gohan, Bulma and Krillan arrive at Namek (the REAL Namek) and start poking around, almost immediately discovering some Dragonballs on the Plot Device Detector. And also feeling a disturbance in the Force (literally) from Freeza. Bulma is surly because Krillan and Gohan wandered out of the ship before she could run all her scientific tests, but quickly gets back in the swing of things, as she's the only one who can find the Dragonballs; plus she doesn't believe in any all-powerful force controlling her destiny.

And then they see Vegita's space-pod streaking across the sky.

Now, Krillan and Gohan are not the most powerful heroes Earth has to offer. And Bulma is just the team techno, with all the fighting skill of a baked clam. The arrival of Vegita (who, as we've mentioned, conquers planets for a living) is understandably a bit perturbing for them. Bulma suggests saving the women and children first, and comes up with a plan -- she'll go back and get Goku, while the other two look for Dragonballs! Yes, yes! And she shouldn't be gone for, oh, more than two months or so... yeah, she'll hurry right back.

Frankly, Bulma seems to be the only one with a brain on that entire team.

Vegita climbs out of the crater left by his landing pod, making a mental note to design a space-craft that actually lands instead of crashing into whatever surface is handy. Freeza's here... he can feel the disturbance in the force. Freeza's here and collecting Dragonballs. This, Vegita feels, is bad. After all, he wants the darn things for himself.

Meanwhile, Bulma calls home... Wait a minute. They're four thousand odd light years away from Earth. I can understand the Namek ship having a faster than light transmitter, but Earth? Look, ma, plot hole! Bulma calls home and tells them to get Goku's lazy martial artist butt out of bed 'cos he needs to save the universe again. They're almost ready to go grab a few Dragonballs when they see another Saiyan space-pod flash across the horizon, and realize that they're not only up shit creek without a paddle, but that roaring noise up ahead is a water-fall.

Todays' Costume Boy Sightings: None. He mocks me with his non-presence! But he'll pay! He'll paaaayyyyy!

The Morning Weather: Cool and adequate.

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