[December 3, 2007 - Manhattan KS] "How's it going on the lock, Corrine?" asked a young man wearing a red and green striped ski mask despite the warmth of the Candyopolis [we'd make up a parody name, but you really can't get much sillier than the real thing - Ed.] store at the Manhattan Town Center. "Almost there," a girl in wraparound amber sunglasses replied. "And call me Epicycle when we're in costume!" she added with a hiss. "Well, we're not really *in* costume," the boy shrugged, lifting his mask up and popping a piece of Pez into his mouth from a Space Moose dispenser. "Yours is at home except for the goggles, and I don't even have mine done yet." "That's not the POINT!" Epicycle sighed, flinching back at the sound of an energy blast on the other side of the security barrier. "How are we ever going to put together a Preteen Patrol franchise if we don't take this seriously?" "I guess. But...we don't really have powers, Cor...Epicycle. I don't even know what your codename is supposed to mean, unless you're planning on getting some gadgets on your bike or something." "It's a space thing, I saw it in one of dad's books. Don't you remember my costume? All space ranger, Flash Gordon sort of stuff?" The boy, whose name happened to be Michael, an eminently forgettable sort of name which is why it hadn't been brought up yet, shrugged. "That's another thing. We haven't exactly asked dad about the Preteen Patrol thing, shouldn't we do that before getting into a fight?" "Gah, I can't believe I gave you the codename Focus, Mikey...you have about as much focus as...well, a fifth grade boy," Epicycle sighed. "But I *am* a fifth grade boy!" Michael protested. "And you're a fifth grade girl, so there." "You're making my point for...hey, it's opening!" Epicycle stood back from the security box and tried to strike something like a heroic pose. "Did you pick the lock?" Focus asked, pulling his mask back down. "I don't think...ah, crud," Epicycle sighed as the door lifted to reveal police officers coming in to pick up the unconscious bodies of those strange guys she'd seen surveying people in the mall. Fire retardant foam covered some of them, and the fighting seemed to have mainly been down by the Hot Topic part of the mall. "We missed it." "We could still go out and introduce ourselves?" Focus suggested. Epicycle shook her head, pulling off the goggles. "Nah. If we're just gonna walk up and say hi, I'd rather be in costume. I mean, it's okay to be in something thrown together on the spot if you're gonna come in fighting, but we'd look totally lame just walking up afterward like some kinda groupies." "Um, we are some kinda groupies, sis. No powers, remember?" "I'm *working* on that!" Corrine snapped. "And take off the mask, you look like an idiot...." __--__--__--__--__--__--__-- \\NEW// --__--__--__--__--__--__--__ .|,Coherent Comics Presents \\ // #9 - Cheeezed Off --X------------------------- E }X{ ARCHS copyright 2007 by the '|` A Superguy/LNH Tale // \\ Dvandroid (Dave Van Domelen) --__--__--__--__--__--__--__ // \\ __--__--__--__--__--__--__-- [December 10, 2007 - Manhattan KS] "We're as ready as we're going to be," Skysabre said, adjusting the fit of his mask. "Those Naugas didn't give up much aside from the fact that they're, well, known as Naugas and they serve Sung the Stainless. We got more than that from Kat hacking the survey pads, but not a lot more." "Well, I got a good altiversal fix from the pads," Hans Zwarghoff interjected. "It's definitely 000SUPERDRY, and I think I can even be sure I can put your Cheeezball exit point someplace isolated, based on the minimal data in the pads. I'm surprised, though...these guys exercise pretty good information security. You'd almost think they were used to dealing with They." Kat nodded. "Short of getting a telepath in, we're not going to get much more intel on this side of things, and whoever this Sung is, he's not an idiot. Well, he may be an idiot, actually, but at least he's got competent people running his ops. We know he's got designs on our altiverse," she said without a trace of hestitation...a few years ago she wouldn't have used the word "our", favoring a more neutral "this" or even a "this stupid," "and we have some idea of his minimum tech level thanks to the pads themselves, but we already knew most of that from the gun we captured a month ago." "At least we're all armed now," Anna patted the bulge under her jacket. "Slow shots, but strong. Might be useful." "Right, but don't depend on these. Sung may have a way to neutralize his own men's weapons," Skysabre warned. "He certainly seems on-the-ball enough in other ways. He might have read the Evil Overlord list at some point." "Worse yet, 000SUPERDRY may be a reality where the Evil Overlord cliches don't apply in the first place," Zwarghoff warned. "For all we know, they have an overriding principle that he's using to stay on the top of the heap, a 'jerks always win' sort of rule." "I think most realities have that rule," Kat smirked. "No, they just have a 'jerks always get the girl' rule," Zwarghoff made a sour face. "Anyway, whatever the case, we're going to have to do some scouting around to get hard data. I'm going to open a cheeezball, you three will go through and scout around for a few hours, then meet back at the arrival spot and wait for me to open a cheeezball back here." "I wish we could use those automatic recall doohickeys the Naugas had," Anna sighed. "I'm *working* on that," Hans frowned, then blinked. "Huh, felt like a call-back there for some reason. Anyway, they've had years to perfect this technology, and I've spent most of that time assuming it was unworkable. And these aren't prototypes I can take apart piece by piece, they're solid state production models, a lot harder to reverse-engineer. There might also be machinery at the other side that really makes it work, but don't try to bring any back this time, okay?" "Awwww, you don't think we should break into what's probably the most heavily guarded installation in Sung's base and try to steal something that might be the size of a building?" Kat smiled sweetly. "I'd never have considered that to be a bad idea on my own." "Enough sarcasm, Kat, you don't have a demon in you," Skysabre snapped, referring to the origins of Sarcastic Lad's powers back in the Looniverse. "We've gone around in circles on this enough, it's time to just go." "Right. Before the ice storm hits," Hans nodded. "Oh, I've got plenty of backup generator capacity here, but with everything covered in ice it'll be harder for the sensors to tell if anyone else is using a cheeezball to come here. And I'd rather not be surprised by a counter-strike while you're gone." "Just give me another moment here to finish up my spell," Anna had returned to concentrating on a medallion in her hands. "Something I picked up at Burning M00se last summer, it'll keep people from questioning our presence as long as we play it mellow. Okay...ready. Just stay within a few paces of me and we'll blend in, more or less." "I wish you'd had time to make more of those," Kat sighed as she stood at the ready in front of the faint grease mark on the floor that indicated where the cheeezball would form. "I needed help to make this one," Anna shrugged. "If it actually works under the magical laws over in 000SUPERDRY, I'll see about calling in some favors to get more made." "Cheeezball in five seconds," Hans warned, and the trio got ready to jump. "Three...two...one...we have cheeez sign!" The swirling orange sphere started small, no bigger than a basketball, but it steadily grew until it was large enough to pass a person through, then it stopped growing. There was a sigh of relief at that...there was still a small chance that there would be a repeat of the incident that destroyed New Call Hall. "Jump now!" Hans shouted, and the three superguys leapt into the gooey- looking ball. "Huh, it worked," Hans shrugged, then turned to the instrument panel to make sure everything shut down safely. As a result, he never saw the little reddish-brown blur streak across the room and into the slowly-contracting cheeezball.... * * * * [000SUPERDRY] "Sire, sensors report a disturbance consistent with a transit sphere," Wrinkle reported as he glided into Sung the Stainless's office. The Emoviate was adorned with even more surgical steel studs and pins in his face than usual, and his tattered black garments rustled mournfully. "Not the survey team, I presume?" Sung steepled his fingers thoughtfully as he shifted in his chair. The immaculately tailored naugahyde of his jacket squeaked slightly against the leather of his office chair, and he made a mental note to have that looked at. The leather was of finest Ptanner make, but perhaps a few pads of the softer hide crafted by the Suedes would solve the problem. "The survey team would have made contact by now. Well, with you, anyway. They hate me, they never want to talk to me," Wrinkle whined. "Oh, Great God Day-o, now I want to slit my wrists, just thinking about it." "Not while you're on the clock, Wrinkle, and never in my office. We both know how hard it is to get blood out of the Bombyx silks," he gestured at the elaborate wall hangings. "So, if it's not the survey team, it's probably whoever is responsible for the team's disappearance. In fact, I'd wager it's the people who have the Paleoculture." Wrinkle nodded, forcing back tears. "Y-yes, sire. The preliminary readings suggest that it's not exactly our transit technology, and there do seem to be signs of Paleoculture in the aromatic profile. Whoever they are, though, they've chosen to arrive out in the Clay Flats, and we don't have many reporting stations in that region, so we can't get a tight fix on their location." "Then they may have outwitted themselves," Sung smiled evilly. "The Clays will take care of them before they get close enough to civilization to pose a problem...." HAVE THE EXARCHS OUTWITTED THEMSELVES? WHO ARE THE MYSTERIOUS "CLAYS"? IS IT RELATED TO "FLASH GORDON'S TRIP TO MARS"? WHAT ABOUT THAT MYSTERIOUS RED-BROWN BLUR? AND WILL CORRINE AND MIKE EVER APPEAR AGAIN? Answers to some of these, and possibly some more utterly gratuitous inter-title continuity bits, on the next...SUPERGUY! ============================================================================ Author's Notes: Greg Fishbone's made it known that Preteen Patrol franchises are available, although whether Corrine and Mike ever get one is up in the air. For more on Burning M00se, see current issues of Rad. It's like Burning Man, but with antlers, and more real mystics in attendance. Since writing #8, I've watched every episode of the 1930s Flash Gordon serial with Buster Crabbe. Flash was really into strangling people in the first serial. It was his go-to move. Also, Zarkov really shouldn't wear legless outfits. And the original Prince Barin should stay as covered up as humanly possible. Yes, "original"...they changed actors for him between "Flash Gordon's Trip to Mars" and "Flash Gordon Conquers the Universe." It was an improvement, really. But enough nattering on about 1930s serials. At the rate time seems to move for me in this series, I should be doing a Christmas Special some time around March. Just in time for the Christmas 2008 decorations to start going up in some stores....