Tales of the Intermezzo - Consumer Protection A Transformers Universe Story copyright 2008 by Dave Van Domelen based on properties owned by Hasbro =========================================================================== "intermezzo - n. A brief entertainment between two acts of a play." - American Heritage Dictionary The bailiff pounded the spiked butt of its largely-ceremonial halberd on the well-polished and intricately inlaid metal plating of the courtroom floor. "This court will come to session," it bellowed, a voice devoid of sophistication or elegance but eminently suited to the few tasks to which it was put. "The honorable Judge Curiatus will now hear arguments in the case of Kartaxion Five against the Oxamazor Manufacturing Collective." A serene five-faced judge drifted into the courtroom, his most beatific countenance beaming down upon those assembled before him, the movement of his tentacles stately and reserved. Most of those in the Quintesson court were what one might term "interested bystanders," not directly involved in the case at hand, but keenly concerned with the outcome. Fortunes hinged on what Curiatus might decide. "Is the prosecution present?" Curiatus asked, keeping to the already ancient forms of the court. Any fool could see that the prosecution was present, but without form, Quintessa would descend into chaos and madness. "Your honor, the prosecution is present," Norrik the Elder nodded, his single face pinched with advancing years. Some felt he had gone senile, taking on a hopeless case out of some quaint notion of ethics, but those who carefully watched Quintessa's legal system suspected the old prosecutor wasn't as much a fool as people said. "And the defense?" Curiatus continued the ritual. Oxamazor nodded. "Er, yes, the defense is present," he amended after realizing a simple nod didn't meet the demands of protocol. The scientist was, as normal for civil cases, representing himself and his manufacturing concern. Rarely did defendants who merely risked money and prestige secure the services of one of the rare prosecutors who felt the pull to switch to the other side of the courtroom. Curiatus smiled, then rotated his more suspicious visage into view. "Be aware that I have reviewed all of the pertinent data and have formed a preliminary opinion on the matter before this court. The prosecution is now invited to plead their case, should they feel that there is anything in the facts that bears emphasis or a clearer context." Norrik respectfully dipped on his energy column. "Yes, your honor. The prosecution believes that two specific instances stand as exemplars of the defendant's failure to provide value to their customers on the world of Kartaxion Five. One from the military line, one from the consumer line." "Please proceed with your presentation," Curiatus gestured with one tentacle, maintaining his dubious expression. * * * * "Commander Zylik, something's wrong with the roadway up ahead in the pass," the sensors operator said. "Column halt," Zylik ordered. "You think it's mines?" The rebel forces up in the Southron Range had been relying heavily on mines lately, ever since the government forces had purchased weapons from the offworld Quintessons. While the mines didn't do much to the amazing military machines the aliens provided, the Kartaxian government could only afford so many "Cybertronian" units, and most of the troops had to travel in vehicles of native manufacture. THOSE vehicles the mines could certainly damage. And without government forces to direct the Cybertronians, they were noticeably less effective. "Unit BR-4L, move ahead of the column," Zylik ordered his Cybertronian asset. His unit only had the one, on the grounds that its sheer firepower was more than enough to destroy the Southron rebels. Given the choice between a full combat unit and a Command and Control unit in which he and his command staff could travel, he'd finally picked BR-4L over ON-5L. Now he was starting to regret the decision. The Cybertronian obeyed the order to advance, of course. Zylik wasn't sure if it was too stupid to fear death, too arrogant to fear anything the rebels could throw at it, or just so blindly obedient that it would have advanced into the gaping maw of Garael's Five Pits if Zylik so commanded. In the end, of course, it didn't matter, so long as it *did* obey. BR-4L rumbled forward, and a few desultory explosions under its treads marked where there had indeed been mines. The Cybertronian was wide enough to clear the entire pass for the rest of the column, so Zylik ordered the unit to form up and follow. And that's when the real trap was sprung, detonating the sides of the pass and burying the armored column under tons of rock. * * * * Norrik gestured at the reconstructed record that had just finished playing. "Had the Kartaxian commander been safely inside the BR-4L unit purchased from Oxamazor Manufacturing, he would have been able to direct battle more effectively once the rebels emerged from hiding, and what in reality was a significant embarrassment for Oxamazor's customers would have instead been a qualified military success." "Your honor," Oxamazor started to protest. Curiatus allowed his wrathful face to swing into position. "The defendant will be given his chance once the prosecution has rested. Disturb the procedure of the court at your peril!" "I-I beg the court's forgiveness," Oxamazor quivered. "I believe the prosecution had a second instance to present?" Curiatus returned his expression to one of pondering. "Yes, your honor. This one involves the non-military hardware provided by Oxamazor Manufacturing...." * * * * Excavation unit TW-157 thought he'd heard something, so stopped the relentless boring of his twin drills. "...radio's out again!" the small, fleshy foreman was shouting. TW-157 didn't really like the fleshy beings he worked for. He preferred the rock face that he worked ON. It wasn't as annoying, even when he hit the occasional vein of duranite that made his drills twinge. "I said, your radio's out again!" "So?" TW-157 replied. "I got bored of listenin'." If he'd been in his primary mode, he would have shrugged, but he had to settle for twitching his drills. "SO???" the fleshy turned an interesting shade of purple-gray, a marked contrast to the normal blue-green hue of Kartaxian skin. "You've been drilling in the wrong direction for the past five millicycles! You're this close," it held up its arms a ludicrously short distance apart, "to bringing the whole mine down in a pit of death!" "A little melodramatical, aintcha?" TW-157 asked, but reactivated his radio and skimmed the information being sent to him. "Oops. Mebbe not. Um, you might wanna start runnin' now, even backin' up might bring down the ceilin' once I start movin'." * * * * "In point of fact, unit TW-157 did in fact bring down part of the mine, although thankfully there was no loss of life and the excavator unit was able to extract itself with minimal damage. But the financial damage was significant. If an overseer had been able to safely remain with the unit at all times, the disaster might have been averted," Norrik concluded. "Thank you, honorable prosecutor," Curiatus nodded, his face dipping within his head. "Has the prosecution finished its plea?" "The prosecution rests, your honor," Norrik replied. "The defense may now plead extenuating circumstances," Curiatus addressed the nervous scientist. Not that it was likely to do any good, he thought to himself. "I plead adherence to contract," Oxamazor said, barely keeping his voice even. "Both private and public concerns on Kartaxion were presented with full catalogs of options. They made the decision that crew compartments were an unnecessary expense in the case of both the BR-4L and TW-157 units, as well as the numerous other cases listed in the complaint. Now they seek to make my company pay for their own short-sightedness. We only sought to meet our clients' needs, it's not our fault that our clients were unable to divine their own needs correctly. "The court will also note that in the majority of complaints, including the two cases the prosecution chose to highlight, the actual products emerged from disaster with only cosmetic damage. All losses were to native machinery and personnel, and as described in the data we submitted, can be traced to user error. The contracts signed by the Kartaxians indemnify Oxamazor Manufacturing against any loss caused by user error, which is why they have tried to falsely portray these events as being manufacturing flaws. The, ah, the defense rests, your honor." "Very well," Curiatus replied, satisfied that the scientist had managed to remember the forms at the end, at least. His face spun to reveal the one he liked to think connoted wisdom, although some of his colleagues thought it merely looked bitter. "I have reached a judgement based on the facts of the case. My judgement is final, and is to be considered precedent for future disputations," he cast his gaze out over the spectators in the court. "In the case of Kartaxion Five's contracts, I agree that the letter of the law is on the side of Oxamazor Manufacturing," Curiatus ruled. "However, it is also clear that Oxamazor engaged in dubious bargaining tactics when winning the bid, deliberately leading the Kartaxians to believe that they didn't need 'expensive options' in many cases where it's clear those options would have been useful or even vital. I find Oxamazor Manufacturing liable for thirteen-point-seven-two percent of the claimed damages. This will be reduced to seven-point-seven-eight percent if Oxamazor will agree to make crew compartments suitable for the client species standard in all models, rather than an optional extra. "While it may not always be obvious in advance how this feature might be necessary, the venerable Norrik has compiled more than sufficient evidence to support the assertion that the feature is vital precisely for those cases that are not obvious. At the least, being able to safely carry members of the client species within one of our export products more fully establishes legal liability for any incidents as belonging to the buyer, not the seller." He paused to let this point sink in. He could almost hear the minds of the other scientists in the audience calculating the cost-benefit ratios that this would involve. Curiatus had just established that an indemnification contract would not be enough, and that a relatively simple engineering change could add a vital layer of legal protection. Still, no harm in emphasis. Curiatus let his most intimidating face come to the fore, with its pale eyes and great fangs. "In short, if Oxamazor had not tried to cut corners by removing the ability of the client to place direct overseers in all Cybertronian units, he would not even be liable for seven-point-seven-eight percent of these rather hefty losses. Forward thinking is always less costly than hindsight. This case is now closed." The baliff slammed the butt of its halberd once more, and it didn't seem quite so ceremonial anymore, at least to Oxamazor.... ============================================================================ Author's Notes: This was written for an AllSpark Fanfic Challenge, with trials as the theme. It was also inspired by some alt.toys.transformers discussion on the matter of why there would be cockpits in pre-Earth Autobots and Decepticons. :) Obviously, this particular explanation only works for continuities where Quintessons either built or found and modified Cybertronians. "Oxamazor" is a mangling of "Occam's Razor," the dictum that one shouldn't have more complications than absolutely necessary. "Curiatus" comes from Latin "curia" or "court". He's meant to be a sane pre-Unicron judge, although you can see in his personality some of the roots of later Quintesson insanity. Norrik doesn't mean anything in particular, I was just working from the pattern seen in some of the canonical prosecutor names. BR-4L, ON-5L and TW-157 should be fairly obvious. [Later note: I've been reminded that in Five Faces of Darkness, the Quints sold non-transforming robots prior to the rebellion. Similarly, A3 and Beta didn't transform. However, the canon's not exactly consistent on the matter, and it's into those holes that I drive my stories in the first place. :) ]