Dave's Beast Machines Rant:

     Mega Blast Punch Optimus Primal

     I gave up on finding this in stores anytime soon and got it from
BigBadToyStore.com (and I have given up my last chance of using my $3 off $15
BMac coupons on new toys, sigh).

CAPSULE

     Blast Punch Optimus Primal: Decently show-accurate in both modes, fairly
simple transformation, okay gimmicks, but I could have done without the
Optimal Optimus orange.  Mildly recommended if you can find it.  $15 or so in
stores, $21.99 after postage from BBTS.

RANT

     Techspec note rewritten to eliminate bad grammar and style.  I left in
the "boastful fist" thing though, as it's so weird.

MAXIMAL: Blast Punch Optimus Primal
Altmode: Gorilla
Function: Maximal Leader
Motto: "The true key to victory lies in the strength of the mind, not the
     fist."

Intelligence, experience, passion and skill are all crucial parts of what
makes Optimus Primal the proven leader of the Maximal cause.  His
metaphysical views play a large role in the methods he chooses to use in the
effort to defeat Megatron and the Vehicons.  A master at the art of change,
Optimus Primal is able to bring out the transforming abilities of others.
Easily the strongest of the Maximals, he can punch through most Vehicon
alloys with his boastful fist.  A jetpack gives him the ability to fly for
short periods in robot mode, and his beast mode affords him great speed over
long distances on the ground.  He will stop at nothing to save the
techno-organic world of Cybertron from Megatron's plans.

STR 10  INT 10  SPD 9.5  END 10  RNK 10  COUR 10  FRB 9.9  SKL 10  Avg 9.9

     That's not a typo, FRB is Fireblast, a stat that has replaced Firepower
for some unknown reason.  
     Nine twist-ties keep PunchMonkey secured to the cardboard backer in his
box.  One of the side panels of the box plugs transformers.com, and the back
shows more pictures of the toy inside than usual.  
     Before I go on to the review itself, I'd like to say that if the colors
seen on the box were the real colors of the toy, I'd be overjoyed with it.
Instead, they replaced the nice gold chrome and muted gold parts with Optimal
Optimus Orange and icky orange-ish chrome.  Yes, a perfectly good show-
accurate color job ruined by some hack who "knows" that kids prefer garish
colors.  Thanks for nothing.

     Beast Mode: About 5" (13cm) tall in hunched-over pose, it stands pretty
gorilla-like.  However, the forearms can't really be rotated around properly
to give the knuckle-dragging look.  The only meaningful articulation is at
the shoulddrs and hips, with the hands able to move around but not looking
very good no matter how you move them.  If you keep the missile loaded, it
interferes with the wrist poseability of the left hand.  The left elbow has
zero poseability.  The right elbow bends a tiny bit and can swivel, so that
you can keep the window in the forearm cover over the blue metallic bit after
transformation.  It's rather frustrating, however, and could use a couple
extra points of articulation.  At the very least, a swivel wrist on the right
hand would be good.
     The simpler gimmick is a button on the ape's head.  Pushing it causes
the face to rise up, effecting a snarl as the teeth are more exposed.  Not
bad, but pupils on the non-snarling-position eyes would have been nice.
     The main gimmick is the Blast Punch.  Crank the left shoulderpad up and
down many times, then hold down the spark crystal on the upper arm and watch
the forearm cover spin.  When it reaches a particular point, it hits a
trigger and the hand shoots forward 2cm, also launching the missile if it's
loaded.  You can manually trigger this by hand-cranking the forearm cover, or
just moving the hole in it to reveal the trigger and pressing the trigger
yourself.  The shoulderpad must be flipped up for the rotating gimmick to
work, and it doesn't always have the oomph to get over the trigger.

     Transformation: Probably the best "gorilla legs to robot legs"
transformation to date, simple and elegant.  Otherwise, it's basically "swap
heads, transform hands and feet from monkey digits to robot ones."  Oh, and
pop out the jetpack.  If you want to retain symmetry on the arms, however,
you have to ditch the robotic detailing and keep the forearm guards with
windows pointed inward to reveal fur.  The left arm can do it either way, but
the only way to keep the tech details visible on the right arm is to make it
so that the elbow bends only backwards.  A wrist would have prevented this.  

     Robot Mode: 6" (15cm) tall and dripping with icky orange.  The legs are
more poseable in this mode, and the head can now turn, but the arms are no
better off.  The gorilla thumbs visible inside his palms are also kinda
disquieting.  The mold is almost dead-on show-accurate, but some idiot
decided to mess around with all the colors, killing the ease of
identification with the show design.
     Despite the unposeability of some important bits, the ball joint
shoulders and hips go a long way towards letting you get some decent poses
out of this toy, as does the waist joint.  The "arms spread as he's about to
fire a chest blast" pose is doable, for instance.  And the flap of fur
covering the jetpack acts as a nice hook for hanging PunchMonkey off the edge
of a shelf or something for a flying pose.  Works best if there's something
for his foot to brace against.

     Overall: Ah, such promise, so many screwups.  The lack of a few key
joints hurts the play value, and the decision to use hideous colors hurts the
display value.  With just a little more work this could have helped Beast
Machines end on a high note, rather than an off-key one.  It does look kinda
neat flying from a ring stand at the edge of my desk, though....

     Dave Van Domelen, hoping Air Attack Primal and Megabolt Megatron come
out to give the line a more fitting swan song....