Dave's Transformers McRant: Armada Happy Meal Toys 1: Optimus Prime 2: Hot Shot 3: Starscream 4: Cyclonus 5: Smokescreen 6: Red Alert 7: Megatron 8: Demolishor Locally, the stores will sell these separately for $1 each plus tax. Your mileage may vary, I've heard prices as high as $2.59 each (which is a tad ludicrous), but most will sell you the toys without making you buy the foodlike substance. Some stores got "Blast Off" promos in the form of old-style cardboard Happy Meal boxes, but none that I've checked. Because most of these have Mini-Con connectors but are too big to be Mini-Cons, I think of them as Meso-Cons (Meso - middle). CAPSULES Optimus Prime: Vehicle mold is very good, robot proportioning not so good. Three gimmicks: clear plastic, glow in the dark fists, and punching action. Mildly recommended, but you can't beat the price. Hot Shot: Somewhat floppy vehicle mode, odd looking robot mode, good pull-back gimmick. Mildly recommended, see above. Starscream: Superdeformed jet mode and unposeable robot mode, but it's a Jumpstarter, and works better in some ways than the original ones! Recommended. Cyclonus: Aside from a lack of paint, the helicopter mode looks good. Robot mode is stubby, but surprisingly close to the real thing. The gimmick is a propeller launcher, which doesn't work so well, but it's a good try. Recommended. Smokescreen: Ew. Bad vehicle mode, hideous robot mode. Easily the worst of the lot. Avoid. Red Alert: Sad robot mode, but decent vehicle mode and fun gimmick (although it doesn't work as well as I think they hoped). Very mildly recommended. Megatron: Frighteningly show-accurate robot mode (leaving aside the garish colors) and vehicle mode, decent transformation. Recommended. Demolishor: Good vehicle mode, okay gimmick, nice transformation, so-so robot mode. Recommended. RANTS Packaging: I don't have the cardboard "Blast Off" box, but I've seen scans, and it looks okay. The sacks have the same basic art as the boxes, but simplified into rougher line drawings. It actually still looks pretty good, except for some weirdness in the faces. On the side are line drawings (which I suspect are actually the result of feeding a photo into a computer program) of the combined modes. The Autobots turn into a sort of "Whirlwind Pyramid" combiner that takes Road Caesar's place as most badly proportioned combiner ever. The Decepticons merge into a super-vehicle reminiscent of the 5-combiner vehicles from Voltron 3 (Dairugger XV). More on these later. The tagline on the bag is interesting. "There can be only one ruler of the universe - as the AUTOBOTS and DECEPTICONS battle 'til one side wins!" Aha, the veil is pulled away and the Autobots' altruistic sham exposed by the agents of McDonald's! The bags are numbered and include a single sheet of instructions and a single sheet with color ads for the real toys. The sheets are both 3" square. The bags themselves vary in size (Cyclonus has a bigger bag than Hot Shot or Prime, for instance). One side of the instruction sheet shows how to transform the toy and explains any gimmicks, without using words. The other side shows how the particular toy goes into the combined mode. The plastic bags are trilingual, although the sack for the Happy Meal overall is not. 1: Optimus Prime Vehicle Mode: 3.5" (9cm) long and a fairly close match to the mold of the cab of Super Base Prime, down to miniature Powerlinx hardpoints on the rear half. All six wheels roll freely, the rear two pairs on axles. The top half of the vehicle is made of clear red plastic, the bottom half of clear blue plastic. Gray plastic forms the front grille, which has a number of the pegs and slots of Super Prime detailed on it. The side bits with smokestacks are solid blue plastic with a very thin layer of glow in the dark paint (they glow very faintly, but do look blue when glowing). The wheels are black plastic, and the roof peg (which is gold on Super Prime) is solid yellow. The roof peg is a bit taller, but this is because it's a lever for the punching gimmick. The vehicle rolls pretty well, although the robot feet can get loose and flip down on their own when you set the vehicle down, impeding movement. There's an Autobot symbol on the yellow roof peg, but it is not painted. In fact, none of the faction symbols on any of the toys seems to be painted. There are two Powerlinx connectors at the rear of the vehicle, mainly used to connect the robot mode to the top of Hot Shot's robot mode. Transformation: It's a Happy Meal toy. But within that restriction, it's satisfyingly involved. When the gray robot feet are folded down, it locks the lower set of wheels slightly, although I suspect the purpose is mainly to lock the feet with the stress involved. Robot Mode: Well, the entire front of the robot is transparent blue, hiding a lot of details. And there's no real waist...it goes straight down from shoulders to feet. The robot mode is about 3.75" (9.5cm) tall, with articulation at the shoulders and elbows. The head is molded weirdly, as if the artist was only given a very small and grainy picture of robot mode to work from. Instead of eyes, there's a yellow optic slit. Maybe the sculptor planned to have the eyes painted on a black background, but this was nixed. There is an Autobot symbol molded on the chest. Pressing down on the yellow tab on the back causes the right arm to rotate up by 45 degrees (the arm can be ratcheted into the desired starting position, though). Overall: Looks a bit weird and could definitely use more paint, but not bad for a Happy meal toy. 2: Hot Shot Vehicle Mode: Like a "Superdeformed" version of the regular toy, 3.5" (9cm) long and chunky. The main body of the car is opaque yellow plastic with blue windows painted on. Black wheels are glued in the wheel wells (the real rolling wheels are hidden underneath), and a black cover piece is at the middle of the rear. The front has a gray bumper that opens out into driving claws, more or less (they don't open as far). The roof pieces are very floppy and do not lock down in this mode. One of them has an Autobot symbol molded on. Two hardpoints stick out the back of the car, intended for Prime's feet to hook onto. When pulled back, the car moves forward: first slowly, then shifting into gear and moving more quickly. You can hear the change in tone as it gears up, which is a nice touch. Transformation: A simplified version of the real thing, actually. Less joints and folds, of course. And you have the option of either pulling the head cover back all the way (as in the instructions) or leaving it just open a crack to represent the visor not present on the head mold. Interestingly, in this case the driving claws become the entire feet, not just the toes. Robot Mode: 4" (10cm) tall at the hardpoints atop its shoulders, and almost all yellow. Very stocky, but some paint around the waist area could help that appearance. The arms inside the roof pieces are painted red. The face is painted gray with blue eyes, and does not have that hint of a grin seen in the original toy. There is no visor, and the head does not seem to turn (experimenting with needlenose pliers got no real motion out of it). The legs are pretty much locked in position (but nice and stable), but the arms can move at the shoulders. The molded chest detail includes an Autobot symbol and the five point harness design seen ont he real Hot Shot. There are Powerlinx connectors at the bottoms of the feet, so that Hot Shot can stand on the shoulders of Smokescreen and Red Alert. Or you could probably get 21 Hot Shots and make a yellow pyramid of doom. Overall: Floppy vehicle mode and brickish robot mode, plus could use some more paint. But not bad. 3: Starscream Vehicle Mode: Looks more like a seaplane, this very stubby "Superdeformed" version of Starscream is 2.75" (7cm) long and has a wingspan of 4" (10cm). It's red, black and gray, but not working together as well as I'd like. Decepticon symbols are molded onto both wings, and there are Powerlinx connectors on the back of the underside. There's also a Decepticon symbol behind the cockpit, but it's really meant for robot mode. Starscream's launchers are deployed, but because each is half black and half red, they're not immediately obvious. Probably should be painted gray. If you pull it back on its wheels until it starts to click and then let it go (you'll need more than a meter of clear running space), it'll Jumpstart itself into robot mode, landing neatly on its long feet. Transformation: It's a Jumpstarter. Pull it back and it zips forward then jumps into robot mode. Robot Mode: 3.5" (9cm) tall and essentially unposeable. The hands are molded onto the wings and the legs are part of the jumpstarting. The head turns, though. The shoulder launchers are extremely simplistic, just cylinders with sloped faces and yellow fronts. The face is gray with red eyes on a black head, and the lips are a bit thick. A Decepticon symbol is molded onto the chest. Overall: Okay, I'm probably being more impressed than I should be by the fact that this reintroduces an old G1 gimmick. The level of detail could have been a lot better, and even a little extra paint would have gone a long way. Still, it's cool. 4: Cyclonus Vehicle Mode: The biggest of the first four, it's 4.75" (12cm) long and 3.5" (9cm) wide in blue, gray, light blue and an orange propeller. It's actually in gunship mode with Crumplezone attached to the front. Cyclonus's head peeks out a bit too much, though. There's a Decepticon symbol molded on the nose, and a hardpoint atop the tail section (which plays no role in combination, it's just there because of the promise that every toy has either a hardpoint or a connector). There is a geared wheel in the main body and smaller wheels out in the "toes" of the tail. The guns on the arms are of different lengths, because they connect to different heights on Megatron and Demolishor in Super Vehicle Mode. Pushing the vehicle along causes the rotor to spin. If you can get the speed up high enough without messing something up, the rotor will fly off. A little. Because there's no release trigger (simply stopping suddenly doesn't do the trick), it will fly off as soon as there's enough lift. And since the gearing is pretty significant, it's hard to put in enough extra energy to do any good during that moment in which it lifts off. I'm tempted to glue the rotor on so that it just becomes a flywheel (but not a Flywheels). Transformation: Mostly involves moving the tail down to become legs. You can pull the head up, but it requires excessive force. Robot Mode: 3.5" (9cm) tall at the head, taller if you leave the rotor on. The rotor can also be plugged onto the left arm gun if you lift the arm up high enough. Mostly blue and gray with ice blue arms and an orange face with green eyes. The arms bend at the shoulders through 180 degrees, but that's it for poseability. The wheel can be manipulated a bit in this mode, but not fast enough to launch the rotor. And the hardpoint is too close to the bottom of the legs to connect most Mini-Cons there (if not all). Overall: Like all of the set, more paint would have helped. But it looks pretty good in both modes, and has an ambitious gimmick that's in keeping with the theme of the bigger Cyclonus (gear-based). 5: Smokescreen Vehicle Mode: 3.5" (9cm) long in orange and gray with blue windows and black wheels. And a gray crane that attaches at the wrong end of the vehicle. The rear end is a lighter gray than the rest of the gray parts. The vehicle rolls freely on axled wheels, and when a button at the front is hit the crane pops off. Granted, they had to have the connection point near the front because of the trigger there, but they should have had it connect near the front of the crane too then, so it wouldn't be on backwards. Also, because the tolerances are so bad, the crane leans noticeable against its trigger release. There is a hardpoint at the back, but it's blocked by vehicle kibble in this mode. There's also a connector on the underside of the front. An Autobot symbol is molded at the front of the vehicle. Transformation: Wow, this is sad. Fold down the front (turn the head around), flip down the footpad, fold out the arms from near the butt and reposition the crane to keep it from falling over backwards. The connection of the crane for this position does not lock into place, and will fall off if you look at it funny. Robot Mode: 3.5" tall (9cm) and it gives Rally's Rhinox a run for his money in sheer ugliness. I mean, this is one bad robot mode. From DIRECTLY straight on, it's almost poassable, altough the arms seem to come out of the waist. Any other angle is horrible. The arms are painted blue inside the vehicle shell bits, the head is black with a gray face and red eyes, and the feet are a dark blue. There's an Autobot symbol molded into, um, the belly I think. Lower chest? Hard to tell in this mess. Well, at least the hardpoint is accessible in this mode, so Prime can pick it up and throw it in the slagheap. Oh, um...poseability. Yeah. The head turns, and the arms flap pitifully like penguin wings. Overall: Yuck. If the vehicle mode was at least a bit more faithful it might be worth picking up, but this isn't even worth a dollar (assuming a dollar has any value for you). Avoid. 6: Red Alert Vehicle Mode: 3.5" (9cm) long, a sort of chunky-chibi version of Red Alert's SUV mode. White with some red (including clear red chunk on top), black wheels...and a blue head sticking out of the hood. Yeah, the head doesn't go away, although you turn it around to become an engine block so it isn't COMPLETELY obvious as a head. The rear wheels are real, but the front ones are molded into the sides and painted. The real front wheels lift the front a bit off the ground and are motorized. If you push down on the engine block/head, it winds the spring in the motor. Assuming the surface is level enough but not too smooth, it'll roll about a meter, kinda slowly. On a too-smooth surface, it tends to spin out. An Autobot symbol is molded onto the driver's side of the hood, and a hardpoint is on the passenger side, a bit too far back to allow much to connect to it. There's also a connector on the drivers side door so you can use this as a Meso-Con. Transformation: Open the doors in a gull fashion (hey, flying SUV mode!), fold down the front (turn the head around) and fold out the feet. Or maybe some other order. Whatever. Oddly, the legs fold down individually, not as a unit, although this only gives some pretty silly poseability. (And yeah, it's arms then legs then chest.) Robot Mode: 3.5" (9cm) tall with colors fairly close to the real toy's robot mode, if more white than blue. The head is blue with red eyeslit and face, oddly. The arms are molded on the inside of the doors and really look sad unless you keep them tucked as close to the body as possible. Also, be careful about pushing down the head...unlike in vehicle mode, it'll actually stay down now (until you lift up the chest a little). The molding is nice, but the lack of paint really hurts the look. Of course, the general shape hurts it even more, with stubby legs (that do bend backwards at the knees, making it look like he just has really short little legs) and weird arms. Definitely one to leave in vehicle mode. Overall: Why do the Autobots have to suck? Okay, Red Alert isn't too bad, but it is a little embarrassing, even for a dollar toy. 7: Megatron Vehicle Mode: 4" (10cm) long in the treads, the barrel plus turret is 4.5" (12cm) long. The colors, frankly, bite. The turret and the tops of the rear treads are dayglo green, the tops of the front treads are transparent medium green, the capture claws are blue. The light gray cannon is okay, as are the black treads. The whole thing is pretty floppy, as there are no pegs to lock bits in place. And if you push down on the turret you'll make one of the front treads flail about. A Decepticon symbol is molded onto the turret (which also has the missile launcher molded into it). A connector is on the right rear tread top, and a hardpoint on the right front tread top. Both are free and clear for mounting stuff, and Leader-1 can sit on Mini-Me's tread. The barrel can elevate to well past 90 degrees, and depress to touch the floor. The toy rolls on tiny wheels, kinda badly thanks to the lack of stability. Transformation: Frighteningly similar to that of the real thing, although the legs involve sliding rather than bending. The turret has to come off during transformation, but it can be put back on with the barrel in its proper underarm position. The instructions show it under the left arm, but it goes with the gimmick better if under the right arm. Robot Mode: Megatron Smash! Yep, added to the green is a bunch of magenta, both clear and opaque. UG-LEE. But aside from the really bad color choices, this is actually pretty good. Oh, the proportions of this 4" (10cm) tall robot are a bit off, but it's actually slightly more poseable than the real toy! Neck, shoulders, elbows (albeit more restricted) and the waist can turn a bit. Of course, it only has two gimmicks. One is that when you press in on the turret, the right arm jerks in a punching motion (so Megatron and Prime can fight!). The barrel also, naturally, moves forward when you do this, so if you run it under the right arm it looks like a unified firing action. Also, like Prime, he has glow in the dark fists. However, while the fists are magenta under normal light, they had to put enough glow paint on 'em to make them glow green. Overall: Floppy vehicle mode and bad color choices, but otherwise surprisingly good for a fast food toy. 8: Demolishor Vehicle Mode: Only a little over 3" (8cm) long, this actually looks pretty good in vehicle mode. Bright red down the middle (including Blackout's bits molded as part of the vehicle), light tan treads, grey right cannon and dark olive left cannon. The only remotely garish color is yellow on the Blackout blaster triggers. The turret doesn't turn, and the left cannon has already fired its missiles, but this lets the hardpoint on the front of the left tread have room to actually hold some Mini-Cons. A connector in the center of the turret makes for a weird Meso-Con. There is a Decepticon symbol molded onto the turret. The tank rolls along nicely on tiny wheels, and shares Smokescreen's gimmick. When the small barrels of Blackout's guns sticking out the front hit something, the right cannon is allowed to spring off the side for impact damage. This cannon has the two missiles sticking out. Transformation: The treads slide forward and a little down, then can rotate into legs. The front of each tread pulls out and bends to make the feet. It's hard to do this without popping off the right cannon, but that's okay, since you have to remove and reverse that anyway. The head pulls up and the left cannon rotates around to become the other arm. Robot Mode: 3.5" (9cm) tall and very weirdly proportioned. And yes, he IS happy to see you. Oddly, while most of the details are at least fairly close, they lost the eyepatch...Demolishor's black face is set with two normal green eyes. Poseable at shoulders (sorta when it comes to the right shoulder/left cannon) and hips, no neck motion. The gimmick still works in this mode, but it may qualify as a Bad Touch. Oh, and because of the wheels in his feet, he can kinda skate. Overall: The subdued colors get a lot of points, as does the vehicle mode's appearance. The robot mode is a bit weird, but acceptable. And many rude comments can be made at its expense, which may be a selling point for those of you in college. Note for potential customizers: All of these toys are held together with McDonald's-standard triangle-socket screws for safety reasons. If you get a straight head screwdriver of just the right size, you can tease 'em open, but they don't sell triangle drivers in stores (you might be able to find an allen wrench about the right size). COMBINED FORMS Mighty Robot: This is the combined form of the Autobot robot modes. It beats out Road Caesar for the most badly proportioned combiner ever. More of a "Whirlwind Pyramid" formation than a single "mighty robot." It stands 10" (25cm) tall, with Prime as the entire upper body, Hot Shot as the hips, and the other two as legs. Might almost have worked if there were pegs on Prime's shoulders to hold two more as arms. It does stand reasonably well. Mighty Vehicle: Reminiscent of the "vehicle Voltron" (Dairugger XV) and its combined vehicle mid-range modes. Megatron and Demolishor ride side by side in tank modes, Starscream plugs onto hardpoints at the front, and the guns on Cyclonus swing down to plug loosely into holes in the turrets, while his cockpit nestles between Starscream's tailfins. Make yer own lewd comments about that. The whole thing is about 5" (13cm) wide and 6.5" (16cm) long. It rolls along okay, but since the connection of Cyclonus to Megatron is loose it tends to snowplow. Dave Van Domelen, thinks they compare reasonably well to the Beast Machines McToys, considering the gimmicks.